4 THE SHOULDER OF ATHOS, THE BALDRIC OF PORTHOS AND THE HANDKERCHIEF OFARAMIS
D'Artagnan, in a state of fury, crossed the antechamber at three bounds,and was darting toward the stairs, which he reckoned upon descendingfour at a time, when, in his heedless course, he ran head foremostagainst a Musketeer who was coming out of one of M. de Treville'sprivate rooms, and striking his shoulder violently, made him utter acry, or rather a howl.
"Excuse me," said d'Artagnan, endeavoring to resume his course, "excuseme, but I am in a hurry."
Scarcely had he descended the first stair, when a hand of iron seizedhim by the belt and stopped him.
"You are in a hurry?" said the Musketeer, as pale as a sheet. "Underthat pretense you run against me! You say, 'Excuse me,' and you believethat is sufficient? Not at all, my young man. Do you fancy because youhave heard Monsieur de Treville speak to us a little cavalierly todaythat other people are to treat us as he speaks to us? Undeceiveyourself, comrade, you are not Monsieur de Treville."
"My faith!" replied d'Artagnan, recognizing Athos, who, after thedressing performed by the doctor, was returning to his own apartment. "Idid not do it intentionally, and not doing it intentionally, I said'Excuse me.' It appears to me that this is quite enough. I repeat toyou, however, and this time on my word of honor--I think perhaps toooften--that I am in haste, great haste. Leave your hold, then, I beg ofyou, and let me go where my business calls me."
"Monsieur," said Athos, letting him go, "you are not polite; it is easyto perceive that you come from a distance."
D'Artagnan had already strode down three or four stairs, but at Athos'slast remark he stopped short.
"MORBLEU, monsieur!" said he, "however far I may come, it is not you whocan give me a lesson in good manners, I warn you."
"Perhaps," said Athos.
"Ah! If I were not in such haste, and if I were not running aftersomeone," said d'Artagnan.
"Monsieur Man-in-a-hurry, you can find me without running--ME, youunderstand?"
"And where, I pray you?"
"Near the Carmes-Deschaux."
"At what hour?"
"About noon."
"About noon? That will do; I will be there."
"Endeavor not to make me wait; for at quarter past twelve I will cut offyour ears as you run."
"Good!" cried d'Artagnan, "I will be there ten minutes before twelve."And he set off running as if the devil possessed him, hoping that hemight yet find the stranger, whose slow pace could not have carried himfar.
But at the street gate, Porthos was talking with the soldier on guard.Between the two talkers there was just enough room for a man to pass.D'Artagnan thought it would suffice for him, and he sprang forward likea dart between them. But d'Artagnan had reckoned without the wind. As hewas about to pass, the wind blew out Porthos's long cloak, andd'Artagnan rushed straight into the middle of it. Without doubt, Porthoshad reasons for not abandoning this part of his vestments, for insteadof quitting his hold on the flap in his hand, he pulled it toward him,so that d'Artagnan rolled himself up in the velvet by a movement ofrotation explained by the persistency of Porthos.
D'Artagnan, hearing the Musketeer swear, wished to escape from thecloak, which blinded him, and sought to find his way from under thefolds of it. He was particularly anxious to avoid marring the freshnessof the magnificent baldric we are acquainted with; but on timidlyopening his eyes, he found himself with his nose fixed between the twoshoulders of Porthos--that is to say, exactly upon the baldric.
Alas, like most things in this world which have nothing in their favorbut appearances, the baldric was glittering with gold in the front, butwas nothing but simple buff behind. Vainglorious as he was, Porthoscould not afford to have a baldric wholly of gold, but had at leasthalf. One could comprehend the necessity of the cold and the urgency ofthe cloak.
"Bless me!" cried Porthos, making strong efforts to disembarrass himselfof d'Artagnan, who was wriggling about his back; "you must be mad to runagainst people in this manner."
"Excuse me," said d'Artagnan, reappearing under the shoulder of thegiant, "but I am in such haste--I was running after someone and--"
"And do you always forget your eyes when you run?" asked Porthos.
"No," replied d'Artagnan, piqued, "and thanks to my eyes, I can see whatother people cannot see."
Whether Porthos understood him or did not understand him, giving way tohis anger, "Monsieur," said he, "you stand a chance of getting chastisedif you rub Musketeers in this fashion."
"Chastised, Monsieur!" said d'Artagnan, "the expression is strong."
"It is one that becomes a man accustomed to look his enemies in theface."
"Ah, PARDIEU! I know full well that you don't turn your back to yours."
And the young man, delighted with his joke, went away laughing loudly.
Porthos foamed with rage, and made a movement to rush after d'Artagnan.
"Presently, presently," cried the latter, "when you haven't your cloakon."
"At one o'clock, then, behind the Luxembourg."
"Very well, at one o'clock, then," replied d'Artagnan, turning the angleof the street.
But neither in the street he had passed through, nor in the one whichhis eager glance pervaded, could he see anyone; however slowly thestranger had walked, he was gone on his way, or perhaps had entered somehouse. D'Artagnan inquired of everyone he met with, went down to theferry, came up again by the Rue de Seine, and the Red Cross; butnothing, absolutely nothing! This chase was, however, advantageous tohim in one sense, for in proportion as the perspiration broke from hisforehead, his heart began to cool.
He began to reflect upon the events that had passed; they were numerousand inauspicious. It was scarcely eleven o'clock in the morning, and yetthis morning had already brought him into disgrace with M. de Treville,who could not fail to think the manner in which d'Artagnan had left hima little cavalier.
Besides this, he had drawn upon himself two good duels with two men,each capable of killing three d'Artagnans--with two Musketeers, inshort, with two of those beings whom he esteemed so greatly that heplaced them in his mind and heart above all other men.
The outlook was sad. Sure of being killed by Athos, it may easily beunderstood that the young man was not very uneasy about Porthos. Ashope, however, is the last thing extinguished in the heart of man, hefinished by hoping that he might survive, even though with terriblewounds, in both these duels; and in case of surviving, he made thefollowing reprehensions upon his own conduct:
"What a madcap I was, and what a stupid fellow I am! That brave andunfortunate Athos was wounded on that very shoulder against which I mustrun head foremost, like a ram. The only thing that astonishes me is thathe did not strike me dead at once. He had good cause to do so; the painI gave him must have been atrocious. As to Porthos--oh, as to Porthos,faith, that's a droll affair!"
And in spite of himself, the young man began to laugh aloud, lookinground carefully, however, to see that his solitary laugh, without acause in the eyes of passers-by, offended no one.
"As to Porthos, that is certainly droll; but I am not the less a giddyfool. Are people to be run against without warning? No! And have I anyright to go and peep under their cloaks to see what is not there? Hewould have pardoned me, he would certainly have pardoned me, if I hadnot said anything to him about that cursed baldric--in ambiguous words,it is true, but rather drolly ambiguous. Ah, cursed Gascon that I am, Iget from one hobble into another. Friend d'Artagnan," continued he,speaking to himself with all the amenity that he thought due himself,"if you escape, of which there is not much chance, I would advise you topractice perfect politeness for the future. You must henceforth beadmired and quoted as a model of it. To be obliging and polite does notnecessarily make a man a coward. Look at Aramis, now; Aramis is mildnessand grace personified. Well, did anybody ever dream of calling Aramis acoward? No, certainly not, and from this moment I will endeavor to modelmyself after him. Ah! That's strange! Here he is!"
D'Artagna
n, walking and soliloquizing, had arrived within a few steps ofthe hotel d'Arguillon and in front of that hotel perceived Aramis,chatting gaily with three gentlemen; but as he had not forgotten that itwas in presence of this young man that M. de Treville had been so angryin the morning, and as a witness of the rebuke the Musketeers hadreceived was not likely to be at all agreeable, he pretended not to seehim. D'Artagnan, on the contrary, quite full of his plans ofconciliation and courtesy, approached the young men with a profound bow,accompanied by a most gracious smile. All four, besides, immediatelybroke off their conversation.
D'Artagnan was not so dull as not to perceive that he was one too many;but he was not sufficiently broken into the fashions of the gay world toknow how to extricate himself gallantly from a false position, like thatof a man who begins to mingle with people he is scarcely acquainted withand in a conversation that does not concern him. He was seeking in hismind, then, for the least awkward means of retreat, when he remarkedthat Aramis had let his handkerchief fall, and by mistake, no doubt, hadplaced his foot upon it. This appeared to be a favorable opportunity torepair his intrusion. He stooped, and with the most gracious air hecould assume, drew the handkerchief from under the foot of the Musketeerin spite of the efforts the latter made to detain it, and holding it outto him, said, "I believe, monsieur, that this is a handkerchief youwould be sorry to lose?"
The handkerchief was indeed richly embroidered, and had a coronet andarms at one of its corners. Aramis blushed excessively, and snatchedrather than took the handkerchief from the hand of the Gascon.
"Ah, ah!" cried one of the Guards, "will you persist in saying, mostdiscreet Aramis, that you are not on good terms with Madame deBois-Tracy, when that gracious lady has the kindness to lend you one ofher handkerchiefs?"
Aramis darted at d'Artagnan one of those looks which inform a man thathe has acquired a mortal enemy. Then, resuming his mild air, "You aredeceived, gentlemen," said he, "this handkerchief is not mine, and Icannot fancy why Monsieur has taken it into his head to offer it to merather than to one of you; and as a proof of what I say, here is mine inmy pocket."
So saying, he pulled out his own handkerchief, likewise a very eleganthandkerchief, and of fine cambric--though cambric was dear at theperiod--but a handkerchief without embroidery and without arms, onlyornamented with a single cipher, that of its proprietor.
This time d'Artagnan was not hasty. He perceived his mistake; but thefriends of Aramis were not at all convinced by his denial, and one ofthem addressed the young Musketeer with affected seriousness. "If itwere as you pretend it is," said he, "I should be forced, my dearAramis, to reclaim it myself; for, as you very well know, Bois-Tracy isan intimate friend of mine, and I cannot allow the property of his wifeto be sported as a trophy."
"You make the demand badly," replied Aramis; "and while acknowledgingthe justice of your reclamation, I refuse it on account of the form."
"The fact is," hazarded d'Artagnan, timidly, "I did not see thehandkerchief fall from the pocket of Monsieur Aramis. He had his footupon it, that is all; and I thought from having his foot upon it thehandkerchief was his."
"And you were deceived, my dear sir," replied Aramis, coldly, verylittle sensible to the reparation. Then turning toward that one of theguards who had declared himself the friend of Bois-Tracy, "Besides,"continued he, "I have reflected, my dear intimate of Bois-Tracy, that Iam not less tenderly his friend than you can possibly be; so thatdecidedly this handkerchief is as likely to have fallen from your pocketas mine."
"No, upon my honor!" cried his Majesty's Guardsman.
"You are about to swear upon your honor and I upon my word, and then itwill be pretty evident that one of us will have lied. Now, here,Montaran, we will do better than that--let each take a half."
"Of the handkerchief?"
"Yes."
"Perfectly just," cried the other two Guardsmen, "the judgment of KingSolomon! Aramis, you certainly are full of wisdom!"
The young men burst into a laugh, and as may be supposed, the affair hadno other sequel. In a moment or two the conversation ceased, and thethree Guardsmen and the Musketeer, after having cordially shaken hands,separated, the Guardsmen going one way and Aramis another.
"Now is my time to make peace with this gallant man," said d'Artagnan tohimself, having stood on one side during the whole of the latter part ofthe conversation; and with this good feeling drawing near to Aramis, whowas departing without paying any attention to him, "Monsieur," said he,"you will excuse me, I hope."
"Ah, monsieur," interrupted Aramis, "permit me to observe to you thatyou have not acted in this affair as a gallant man ought."
"What, monsieur!" cried d'Artagnan, "and do you suppose--"
"I suppose, monsieur, that you are not a fool, and that you knew verywell, although coming from Gascony, that people do not tread uponhandkerchiefs without a reason. What the devil! Paris is not paved withcambric!"
"Monsieur, you act wrongly in endeavoring to mortify me," saidd'Artagnan, in whom the natural quarrelsome spirit began to speak moreloudly than his pacific resolutions. "I am from Gascony, it is true; andsince you know it, there is no occasion to tell you that Gascons are notvery patient, so that when they have begged to be excused once, were iteven for a folly, they are convinced that they have done already atleast as much again as they ought to have done."
"Monsieur, what I say to you about the matter," said Aramis, "is not forthe sake of seeking a quarrel. Thank God, I am not a bravo! And being aMusketeer but for a time, I only fight when I am forced to do so, andalways with great repugnance; but this time the affair is serious, forhere is a lady compromised by you."
"By US, you mean!" cried d'Artagnan.
"Why did you so maladroitly restore me the handkerchief?"
"Why did you so awkwardly let it fall?"
"I have said, monsieur, and I repeat, that the handkerchief did not fallfrom my pocket."
"And thereby you have lied twice, monsieur, for I saw it fall."
"Ah, you take it with that tone, do you, Master Gascon? Well, I willteach you how to behave yourself."
"And I will send you back to your Mass book, Master Abbe. Draw, if youplease, and instantly--"
"Not so, if you please, my good friend--not here, at least. Do you notperceive that we are opposite the Hotel d'Arguillon, which is full ofthe cardinal's creatures? How do I know that this is not his Eminencewho has honored you with the commission to procure my head? Now, Ientertain a ridiculous partiality for my head, it seems to suit myshoulders so correctly. I wish to kill you, be at rest as to that, butto kill you quietly in a snug, remote place, where you will not be ableto boast of your death to anybody."
"I agree, monsieur; but do not be too confident. Take your handkerchief;whether it belongs to you or another, you may perhaps stand in need ofit."
"Monsieur is a Gascon?" asked Aramis.
"Yes. Monsieur does not postpone an interview through prudence?"
"Prudence, monsieur, is a virtue sufficiently useless to Musketeers, Iknow, but indispensable to churchmen; and as I am only a Musketeerprovisionally, I hold it good to be prudent. At two o'clock I shall havethe honor of expecting you at the hotel of Monsieur de Treville. There Iwill indicate to you the best place and time."
The two young men bowed and separated, Aramis ascending the street whichled to the Luxembourg, while d'Artagnan, perceiving the appointed hourwas approaching, took the road to the Carmes-Deschaux, saying tohimself, "Decidedly I can't draw back; but at least, if I am killed, Ishall be killed by a Musketeer."
Les trois mousquetaires. English Page 5