48 A FAMILY AFFAIR
Athos had invented the phrase, family affair. A family affair was notsubject to the investigation of the cardinal; a family affair concernednobody. People might employ themselves in a family affair before all theworld. Therefore Athos had invented the phrase, family affair.
Aramis had discovered the idea, the lackeys.
Porthos had discovered the means, the diamond.
D'Artagnan alone had discovered nothing--he, ordinarily the mostinventive of the four; but it must be also said that the very name ofMilady paralyzed him.
Ah! no, we were mistaken; he had discovered a purchaser for his diamond.
The breakfast at M. de Treville's was as gay and cheerful as possible.D'Artagnan already wore his uniform--for being nearly of the same sizeas Aramis, and as Aramis was so liberally paid by the publisher whopurchased his poem as to allow him to buy everything double, he sold hisfriend a complete outfit.
D'Artagnan would have been at the height of his wishes if he had notconstantly seen Milady like a dark cloud hovering in the horizon.
After breakfast, it was agreed that they should meet again in theevening at Athos's lodging, and there finish their plans.
D'Artagnan passed the day in exhibiting his Musketeer's uniform in everystreet of the camp.
In the evening, at the appointed hour, the four friends met. There onlyremained three things to decide--what they should write to Milady'sbrother; what they should write to the clever person at Tours; and whichshould be the lackeys to carry the letters.
Everyone offered his own. Athos talked of the discretion of Grimaud, whonever spoke a word but when his master unlocked his mouth. Porthosboasted of the strength of Mousqueton, who was big enough to thrash fourmen of ordinary size. Aramis, confiding in the address of Bazin, made apompous eulogium on his candidate. Finally, d'Artagnan had entire faithin the bravery of Planchet, and reminded them of the manner in which hehad conducted himself in the ticklish affair of Boulogne.
These four virtues disputed the prize for a length of time, and gavebirth to magnificent speeches which we do not repeat here for fear theyshould be deemed too long.
"Unfortunately," said Athos, "he whom we send must possess in himselfalone the four qualities united."
"But where is such a lackey to be found?"
"Not to be found!" cried Athos. "I know it well, so take Grimaud."
"Take Mousqueton."
"Take Bazin."
"Take Planchet. Planchet is brave and shrewd; they are two qualities outof the four."
"Gentlemen," said Aramis, "the principal question is not to know whichof our four lackeys is the most discreet, the most strong, the mostclever, or the most brave; the principal thing is to know which lovesmoney the best."
"What Aramis says is very sensible," replied Athos; "we must speculateupon the faults of people, and not upon their virtues. Monsieur Abbe,you are a great moralist."
"Doubtless," said Aramis, "for we not only require to be well served inorder to succeed, but moreover, not to fail; for in case of failure,heads are in question, not for our lackeys--"
"Speak lower, Aramis," said Athos.
"That's wise--not for the lackeys," resumed Aramis, "but for themaster--for the masters, we may say. Are our lackeys sufficientlydevoted to us to risk their lives for us? No."
"My faith," said d'Artagnan. "I would almost answer for Planchet."
"Well, my dear friend, add to his natural devotedness a good sum ofmoney, and then, instead of answering for him once, answer for himtwice."
"Why, good God! you will be deceived just the same," said Athos, who wasan optimist when things were concerned, and a pessimist when men were inquestion. "They will promise everything for the sake of the money, andon the road fear will prevent them from acting. Once taken, they will bepressed; when pressed, they will confess everything. What the devil! weare not children. To reach England"--Athos lowered his voice--"allFrance, covered with spies and creatures of the cardinal, must becrossed. A passport for embarkation must be obtained; and the party mustbe acquainted with English in order to ask the way to London. Really, Ithink the thing very difficult."
"Not at all," cried d'Artagnan, who was anxious the matter should beaccomplished; "on the contrary, I think it very easy. It would be, nodoubt, parbleu, if we write to Lord de Winter about affairs of vastimportance, of the horrors of the cardinal--"
"Speak lower!" said Athos.
"--of intrigues and secrets of state," continued d'Artagnan, complyingwith the recommendation. "There can be no doubt we would all be brokenon the wheel; but for God's sake, do not forget, as you yourself said,Athos, that we only write to him concerning a family affair; that weonly write to him to entreat that as soon as Milady arrives in London hewill put it out of her power to injure us. I will write to him, then,nearly in these terms."
"Let us see," said Athos, assuming in advance a critical look.
"Monsieur and dear friend--"
"Ah, yes! Dear friend to an Englishman," interrupted Athos; "wellcommenced! Bravo, d'Artagnan! Only with that word you would be quarteredinstead of being broken on the wheel."
"Well, perhaps. I will say, then, Monsieur, quite short."
"You may even say, My Lord," replied Athos, who stickled for propriety.
"My Lord, do you remember the little goat pasture of the Luxembourg?"
"Good, the Luxembourg! One might believe this is an allusion to thequeen-mother! That's ingenious," said Athos.
"Well, then, we will put simply, My Lord, do you remember a certainlittle enclosure where your life was spared?"
"My dear d'Artagnan, you will never make anything but a very badsecretary. Where your life was spared! For shame! that's unworthy. A manof spirit is not to be reminded of such services. A benefit reproachedis an offense committed."
"The devil!" said d'Artagnan, "you are insupportable. If the letter mustbe written under your censure, my faith, I renounce the task."
"And you will do right. Handle the musket and the sword, my dear fellow.You will come off splendidly at those two exercises; but pass the penover to Monsieur Abbe. That's his province."
"Ay, ay!" said Porthos; "pass the pen to Aramis, who writes theses inLatin."
"Well, so be it," said d'Artagnan. "Draw up this note for us, Aramis;but by our Holy Father the Pope, cut it short, for I shall prune you inmy turn, I warn you."
"I ask no better," said Aramis, with that ingenious air of confidencewhich every poet has in himself; "but let me be properly acquainted withthe subject. I have heard here and there that this sister-in-law was ahussy. I have obtained proof of it by listening to her conversation withthe cardinal."
"Lower! SACRE BLEU!" said Athos.
"But," continued Aramis, "the details escape me."
"And me also," said Porthos.
D'Artagnan and Athos looked at each other for some time in silence. Atlength Athos, after serious reflection and becoming more pale thanusual, made a sign of assent to d'Artagnan, who by it understood he wasat liberty to speak.
"Well, this is what you have to say," said d'Artagnan: "My Lord, yoursister-in-law is an infamous woman, who wished to have you killed thatshe might inherit your wealth; but she could not marry your brother,being already married in France, and having been--" d'Artagnan stopped,as if seeking for the word, and looked at Athos.
"Repudiated by her husband," said Athos.
"Because she had been branded," continued d'Artagnan.
"Bah!" cried Porthos. "Impossible! What do you say--that she wanted tohave her brother-in-law killed?"
"Yes."
"She was married?" asked Aramis.
"Yes."
"And her husband found out that she had a fleur-de-lis on her shoulder?"cried Porthos.
"Yes."
These three yeses had been pronounced by Athos, each with a sadderintonation.
"And who has seen this fleur-de-lis?" inquired Aramis.
"d'Artagnan and I. Or rather, to observe the chronological o
rder, I andd'Artagnan," replied Athos.
"And does the husband of this frightful creature still live?" saidAramis.
"He still lives."
"Are you quite sure of it?"
"I am he."
There was a moment of cold silence, during which everyone was affectedaccording to his nature.
"This time," said Athos, first breaking the silence, "d'Artagnan hasgiven us an excellent program, and the letter must be written at once."
"The devil! You are right, Athos," said Aramis; "and it is a ratherdifficult matter. The chancellor himself would be puzzled how to writesuch a letter, and yet the chancellor draws up an official report veryreadily. Never mind! Be silent, I will write."
Aramis accordingly took the quill, reflected for a few moments, wroteeight or ten lines in a charming little female hand, and then with avoice soft and slow, as if each word had been scrupulously weighed, heread the following:
"My Lord, The person who writes these few lines had the honor ofcrossing swords with you in the little enclosure of the Rue d'Enfer. Asyou have several times since declared yourself the friend of thatperson, he thinks it his duty to respond to that friendship by sendingyou important information. Twice you have nearly been the victim of anear relative, whom you believe to be your heir because you are ignorantthat before she contracted a marriage in England she was already marriedin France. But the third time, which is the present, you may succumb.Your relative left La Rochelle for England during the night. Watch herarrival, for she has great and terrible projects. If you require to knowpositively what she is capable of, read her past history on her leftshoulder."
"Well, now that will do wonderfully well," said Athos. "My dear Aramis,you have the pen of a secretary of state. Lord de Winter will now beupon his guard if the letter should reach him; and even if it shouldfall into the hands of the cardinal, we shall not be compromised. But asthe lackey who goes may make us believe he has been to London and maystop at Chatellerault, let us give him only half the sum promised him,with the letter, with an agreement that he shall have the other half inexchange for the reply. Have you the diamond?" continued Athos.
"I have what is still better. I have the price;" and d'Artagnan threwthe bag upon the table. At the sound of the gold Aramis raised his eyesand Porthos started. As to Athos, he remained unmoved.
"How much in that little bag?"
"Seven thousand livres, in louis of twelve francs."
"Seven thousand livres!" cried Porthos. "That poor little diamond wasworth seven thousand livres?"
"It appears so," said Athos, "since here they are. I don't suppose thatour friend d'Artagnan has added any of his own to the amount."
"But, gentlemen, in all this," said d'Artagnan, "we do not think of thequeen. Let us take some heed of the welfare of her dear Buckingham. Thatis the least we owe her."
"That's true," said Athos; "but that concerns Aramis."
"Well," replied the latter, blushing, "what must I say?"
"Oh, that's simple enough!" replied Athos. "Write a second letter forthat clever personage who lives at Tours."
Aramis resumed his pen, reflected a little, and wrote the followinglines, which he immediately submitted to the approbation of his friends.
"My dear cousin."
"Ah, ah!" said Athos. "This clever person is your relative, then?"
"Cousin-german."
"Go on, to your cousin, then!"
Aramis continued:
"My dear Cousin, His Eminence, the cardinal, whom God preserve for thehappiness of France and the confusion of the enemies of the kingdom, ison the point of putting an end to the hectic rebellion of La Rochelle.It is probable that the succor of the English fleet will never evenarrive in sight of the place. I will even venture to say that I amcertain M. de Buckingham will be prevented from setting out by somegreat event. His Eminence is the most illustrious politician of timespast, of times present, and probably of times to come. He wouldextinguish the sun if the sun incommoded him. Give these happy tidingsto your sister, my dear cousin. I have dreamed that the unluckyEnglishman was dead. I cannot recollect whether it was by steel or bypoison; only of this I am sure, I have dreamed he was dead, and you knowmy dreams never deceive me. Be assured, then, of seeing me soon return."
"Capital!" cried Athos; "you are the king of poets, my dear Aramis. Youspeak like the Apocalypse, and you are as true as the Gospel. There isnothing now to do but to put the address to this letter."
"That is easily done," said Aramis.
He folded the letter fancifully, and took up his pen and wrote:
"To Mlle. Michon, seamstress, Tours."
The three friends looked at one another and laughed; they were caught.
"Now," said Aramis, "you will please to understand, gentlemen, thatBazin alone can carry this letter to Tours. My cousin knows nobody butBazin, and places confidence in nobody but him; any other person wouldfail. Besides, Bazin is ambitious and learned; Bazin has read history,gentlemen, he knows that Sixtus the Fifth became Pope after having keptpigs. Well, as he means to enter the Church at the same time as myself,he does not despair of becoming Pope in his turn, or at least acardinal. You can understand that a man who has such views will neverallow himself to be taken, or if taken, will undergo martyrdom ratherthan speak."
"Very well," said d'Artagnan, "I consent to Bazin with all my heart, butgrant me Planchet. Milady had him one day turned out of doors, withsundry blows of a good stick to accelerate his motions. Now, Planchethas an excellent memory; and I will be bound that sooner than relinquishany possible means of vengeance, he will allow himself to be beaten todeath. If your arrangements at Tours are your arrangements, Aramis,those of London are mine. I request, then, that Planchet may be chosen,more particularly as he has already been to London with me, and knowshow to speak correctly: London, sir, if you please, and my master, Lordd'Artagnan. With that you may be satisfied he can make his way, bothgoing and returning."
"In that case," said Athos, "Planchet must receive seven hundred livresfor going, and seven hundred livres for coming back; and Bazin, threehundred livres for going, and three hundred livres for returning--thatwill reduce the sum to five thousand livres. We will each take athousand livres to be employed as seems good, and we will leave a fundof a thousand livres under the guardianship of Monsieur Abbe here, forextraordinary occasions or common wants. Will that do?"
"My dear Athos," said Aramis, "you speak like Nestor, who was, aseveryone knows, the wisest among the Greeks."
"Well, then," said Athos, "it is agreed. Planchet and Bazin shall go.Everything considered, I am not sorry to retain Grimaud; he isaccustomed to my ways, and I am particular. Yesterday's affair must haveshaken him a little; his voyage would upset him quite."
Planchet was sent for, and instructions were given him. The matter hadbeen named to him by d'Artagnan, who in the first place pointed out themoney to him, then the glory, and then the danger.
"I will carry the letter in the lining of my coat," said Planchet; "andif I am taken I will swallow it."
"Well, but then you will not be able to fulfill your commission," saidd'Artagnan.
"You will give me a copy this evening, which I shall know by hearttomorrow."
D'Artagnan looked at his friends, as if to say, "Well, what did I tellyou?"
"Now," continued he, addressing Planchet, "you have eight days to get aninterview with Lord de Winter; you have eight days to return--in allsixteen days. If, on the sixteenth day after your departure, at eighto'clock in the evening you are not here, no money--even if it be butfive minutes past eight."
"Then, monsieur," said Planchet, "you must buy me a watch."
"Take this," said Athos, with his usual careless generosity, giving himhis own, "and be a good lad. Remember, if you talk, if you babble, ifyou get drunk, you risk your master's head, who has so much confidencein your fidelity, and who answers for you. But remember, also, that ifby your fault any evil happens to d'Artagnan, I will find you, whereveryou may be, for the pu
rpose of ripping up your belly."
"Oh, monsieur!" said Planchet, humiliated by the suspicion, andmoreover, terrified at the calm air of the Musketeer.
"And I," said Porthos, rolling his large eyes, "remember, I will skinyou alive."
"Ah, monsieur!"
"And I," said Aramis, with his soft, melodius voice, "remember that Iwill roast you at a slow fire, like a savage."
"Ah, monsieur!"
Planchet began to weep. We will not venture to say whether it was fromterror created by the threats or from tenderness at seeing four friendsso closely united.
D'Artagnan took his hand. "See, Planchet," said he, "these gentlemenonly say this out of affection for me, but at bottom they all like you."
"Ah, monsieur," said Planchet, "I will succeed or I will consent to becut in quarters; and if they do cut me in quarters, be assured that nota morsel of me will speak."
It was decided that Planchet should set out the next day, at eighto'clock in the morning, in order, as he had said, that he might duringthe night learn the letter by heart. He gained just twelve hours by thisengagement; he was to be back on the sixteenth day, by eight o'clock inthe evening.
In the morning, as he was mounting his horse, d'Artagnan, who felt atthe bottom of his heart a partiality for the duke, took Planchet aside.
"Listen," said he to him. "When you have given the letter to Lord deWinter and he has read it, you will further say to him: Watch over hisGrace Lord Buckingham, for they wish to assassinate him. But this,Planchet, is so serious and important that I have not informed myfriends that I would entrust this secret to you; and for a captain'scommission I would not write it."
"Be satisfied, monsieur," said Planchet, "you shall see if confidencecan be placed in me."
Mounted on an excellent horse, which he was to leave at the end oftwenty leagues in order to take the post, Planchet set off at a gallop,his spirits a little depressed by the triple promise made him by theMusketeers, but otherwise as light-hearted as possible.
Bazin set out the next day for Tours, and was allowed eight days forperforming his commission.
The four friends, during the period of these two absences, had, as maywell be supposed, the eye on the watch, the nose to the wind, and theear on the hark. Their days were passed in endeavoring to catch all thatwas said, in observing the proceeding of the cardinal, and in lookingout for all the couriers who arrived. More than once an involuntarytrembling seized them when called upon for some unexpected service. Theyhad, besides, to look constantly to their own proper safety; Milady wasa phantom which, when it had once appeared to people, did not allow themto sleep very quietly.
On the morning of the eighth day, Bazin, fresh as ever, and smiling,according to custom, entered the cabaret of the Parpaillot as the fourfriends were sitting down to breakfast, saying, as had been agreed upon:"Monsieur Aramis, the answer from your cousin."
The four friends exchanged a joyful glance; half of the work was done.It is true, however, that it was the shorter and easier part.
Aramis, blushing in spite of himself, took the letter, which was in alarge, coarse hand and not particular for its orthography.
"Good God!" cried he, laughing, "I quite despair of my poor Michon; shewill never write like Monsieur de Voiture."
"What does you mean by boor Michon?" said the Swiss, who was chattingwith the four friends when the letter came.
"Oh, pardieu, less than nothing," said Aramis; "a charming littleseamstress, whom I love dearly and from whose hand I requested a fewlines as a sort of keepsake."
"The duvil!" said the Swiss, "if she is as great a lady as her writingis large, you are a lucky fellow, gomrade!"
Aramis read the letter, and passed it to Athos.
"See what she writes to me, Athos," said he.
Athos cast a glance over the epistle, and to disperse all the suspicionsthat might have been created, read aloud:
"My cousin,
"My sister and I are skillful in interpreting dreams, and even entertaingreat fear of them; but of yours it may be said, I hope, every dream isan illusion. Adieu! Take care of yourself, and act so that we may fromtime to time hear you spoken of.
"MARIE MICHON"
"And what dream does she mean?" asked the dragoon, who had approachedduring the reading.
"Yez; what's the dream?" said the Swiss.
"Well, pardieu!" said Aramis, "it was only this: I had a dream, and Irelated it to her."
"Yez, yez," said the Swiss; "it's simple enough to dell a dream, but Ineffer dream."
"You are very fortunate," said Athos, rising; "I wish I could say asmuch!"
"Neffer," replied the Swiss, enchanted that a man like Athos could envyhim anything. "Neffer, neffer!"
D'Artagnan, seeing Athos rise, did likewise, took his arm, and went out.
Porthos and Aramis remained behind to encounter the jokes of the dragoonand the Swiss.
As to Bazin, he went and lay down on a truss of straw; and as he hadmore imagination than the Swiss, he dreamed that Aramis, having becomepope, adorned his head with a cardinal's hat.
But, as we have said, Bazin had not, by his fortunate return, removedmore than a part of the uneasiness which weighed upon the four friends.The days of expectation are long, and d'Artagnan, in particular, wouldhave wagered that the days were forty-four hours. He forgot thenecessary slowness of navigation; he exaggerated to himself the power ofMilady. He credited this woman, who appeared to him the equal of ademon, with agents as supernatural as herself; at the least noise, heimagined himself about to be arrested, and that Planchet was beingbrought back to be confronted with himself and his friends. Stillfurther, his confidence in the worthy Picard, at one time so great,diminished day by day. This anxiety became so great that it evenextended to Aramis and Porthos. Athos alone remained unmoved, as if nodanger hovered over him, and as if he breathed his customary atmosphere.
On the sixteenth day, in particular, these signs were so strong ind'Artagnan and his two friends that they could not remain quiet in oneplace, and wandered about like ghosts on the road by which Planchet wasexpected.
"Really," said Athos to them, "you are not men but children, to let awoman terrify you so! And what does it amount to, after all? To beimprisoned. Well, but we should be taken out of prison; Madame Bonacieuxwas released. To be decapitated? Why, every day in the trenches we gocheerfully to expose ourselves to worse than that--for a bullet maybreak a leg, and I am convinced a surgeon would give us more pain incutting off a thigh than an executioner in cutting off a head. Waitquietly, then; in two hours, in four, in six hours at latest, Planchetwill be here. He promised to be here, and I have very great faith inPlanchet, who appears to me to be a very good lad."
"But if he does not come?" said d'Artagnan.
"Well, if he does not come, it will be because he has been delayed,that's all. He may have fallen from his horse, he may have cut a caperfrom the deck; he may have traveled so fast against the wind as to havebrought on a violent catarrh. Eh, gentlemen, let us reckon uponaccidents! Life is a chaplet of little miseries which the philosophercounts with a smile. Be philosophers, as I am, gentlemen; sit down atthe table and let us drink. Nothing makes the future look so bright assurveying it through a glass of chambertin."
"That's all very well," replied d'Artagnan; "but I am tired of fearingwhen I open a fresh bottle that the wine may come from the cellar ofMilady."
"You are very fastidious," said Athos; "such a beautiful woman!"
"A woman of mark!" said Porthos, with his loud laugh.
Athos started, passed his hand over his brow to remove the drops ofperspiration that burst forth, and rose in his turn with a nervousmovement he could not repress.
The day, however, passed away; and the evening came on slowly, butfinally it came. The bars were filled with drinkers. Athos, who hadpocketed his share of the diamond, seldom quit the Parpaillot. He hadfound in M. de Busigny, who, by the by, had given them a magnificentdinner, a partner worthy of his company. They were play
ing together, asusual, when seven o'clock sounded; the patrol was heard passing todouble the posts. At half past seven the retreat was sounded.
"We are lost," said d'Artagnan, in the ear of Athos.
"You mean to say we have lost," said Athos, quietly, drawing fourpistoles from his pocket and throwing them upon the table. "Come,gentlemen," said he, "they are beating the tattoo. Let us to bed!"
And Athos went out of the Parpaillot, followed by d'Artagnan. Aramiscame behind, giving his arm to Porthos. Aramis mumbled verses tohimself, and Porthos from time to time pulled a hair or two from hismustache, in sign of despair.
But all at once a shadow appeared in the darkness the outline of whichwas familiar to d'Artagnan, and a well-known voice said, "Monsieur, Ihave brought your cloak; it is chilly this evening."
"Planchet!" cried d'Artagnan, beside himself with joy.
"Planchet!" repeated Aramis and Porthos.
"Well, yes, Planchet, to be sure," said Athos, "what is there soastonishing in that? He promised to be back by eight o'clock, and eightis striking. Bravo, Planchet, you are a lad of your word, and if everyou leave your master, I will promise you a place in my service."
"Oh, no, never," said Planchet, "I will never leave Monsieurd'Artagnan."
At the same time d'Artagnan felt that Planchet slipped a note into hishand.
D'Artagnan felt a strong inclination to embrace Planchet as he hadembraced him on his departure; but he feared lest this mark ofaffection, bestowed upon his lackey in the open street, might appearextraordinary to passers-by, and he restrained himself.
"I have the note," said he to Athos and to his friends.
"That's well," said Athos, "let us go home and read it."
The note burned the hand of d'Artagnan. He wished to hasten their steps;but Athos took his arm and passed it under his own, and the young manwas forced to regulate his pace by that of his friend.
At length they reached the tent, lit a lamp, and while Planchet stood atthe entrance that the four friends might not be surprised, d'Artagnan,with a trembling hand, broke the seal and opened the so anxiouslyexpected letter.
It contained half a line, in a hand perfectly British, and with aconciseness as perfectly Spartan:
Thank you; be easy.
d'Artagnan translated this for the others.
Athos took the letter from the hands of d'Artagnan, approached the lamp,set fire to the paper, and did not let go till it was reduced to acinder.
Then, calling Planchet, he said, "Now, my lad, you may claim your sevenhundred livres, but you did not run much risk with such a note as that."
"I am not to blame for having tried every means to compress it," saidPlanchet.
"Well!" cried d'Artagnan, "tell us all about it."
"Dame, that's a long job, monsieur."
"You are right, Planchet," said Athos; "besides, the tattoo has beensounded, and we should be observed if we kept a light burning muchlonger than the others."
"So be it," said d'Artagnan. "Go to bed, Planchet, and sleep soundly."
"My faith, monsieur! that will be the first time I have done so forsixteen days."
"And me, too!" said d'Artagnan.
"And me, too!" said Porthos.
"And me, too!" said Aramis.
"Well, if you will have the truth, and me, too!" said Athos.
Les trois mousquetaires. English Page 49