Slowly, I have learnt to forgive myself, to understand that there is no going back or undoing what we each have done.
I allow my eyes to travel all the way to the altar and there he is, my Hector, fiddling with his cufflinks, glancing back in my direction but not really looking. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, but there’s plenty of time still to come.
There’s a word for this, this overwhelming sense of being with the ones you care for most of all . . .? One that I read in a storybook about Celtic legends of old, on a wintry night when I dared to dream that there was something, someone, beyond the walls of the convent who might show me how to love.
Anam Cara, I think to myself as I glance at my son and he catches me looking, frowning at whatever it is he can see on my face.
‘It’s OK, Mum,’ he says, bending down to whisper in my ear just as the organ pipes begin to play. ‘I’ve got you.’
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Writing a book is a bit like having a baby – messy, painful and it literally takes a village to nurture, care for, and help it grow into something you can be proud of. This book was no different, and so I’d like to say thank you to the people who helped make it possible.
First and foremost, my incredible agent, Hayley Steed. She has been with me all the way and was instrumental in turning Erika and Niamh’s story into something people would want to read.
Secondly, my heartfelt thanks go out to Sammia Hamer at Lake Union Publishing. As a writer, I couldn’t have asked for a more passionate, welcoming editor and I feel honoured to be part of the Lake Union team. In addition, thanks go to Sophie Wilson for showing me how to polish the story, make it real, make me remember what it felt like to be caught in the middle of a best friend and true love.
To the team at Jelly London and Heike Schüssler, thank you for creating such a beautiful cover design that really captures the essence of the story. To Sophie Goodfellow and everyone at FMcM, I’m so grateful for all the work you have done in sending the book out into the world.
This book wouldn’t exist at all if it weren’t for the love and support of so many others, especially my writing buddies, without whom I would have given up long ago. In no particular order . . . Tom Bromley, for his unwavering belief and support; Deborah Masson, who was there from the very beginning and who I cannot wait to drink whiskey by a fire with; Hannah Persaud, for listening to all my doubts and telling me to keep on writing no matter what; Sophie Wing for reading a chapter in the basement café of Waterstones on Piccadilly and telling me to go for it; Chloe Combi, Natasha Fricker, Noel Smaragdakis and Hynam Kendall, you are all brilliant people, as well as exceptional writers and I’m very grateful to have you in my life.
There is, of course, my family, all of whom have been so very understanding about my need to put down on paper the trials and tribulations of imaginary people. I’ve wanted to be an author ever since I wrote my first book aged twelve (which my mother accidentally deleted from the computer), and I never stopped dreaming that one day it would become more than a hobby. To my husband, Neil, thank you for allowing me the time and space to write. Last, but no means least, this and every story is for my children, Dylan and Scarlett. I love you more than even I could find the words to say.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Katherine Slee has a master’s in Modern History from Oxford University, is a member of Mensa and used to work as an investment banker. She lives in Kent with her husband, two children and disobedient dog.
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