by Olivia Arndt
“Tethys, stop!” He urged, hushing me.
“You killed her!” I screeched, clawing his arms. “You killed her, you monster!” As my gaze fell, I noticed colorful and intricate designs weaving together on his arm. The ink swirling and curving to form delicate puzzles pieces. I hadn’t ever noticed them before. It was beautiful in a twisted way. It was something that held meaning and I wanted to destroy it. I wanted to see the art ruined. The once beautiful canvas splattered in blood just like my mother’s body. I saw the scrapes on his arms begin to bleed, and I dug in deeper. I wanted him to feel the pain my mother had felt. The pain he had stopped me from feeling. I pulled my hands away, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. Who had I become?
As we heard a noise coming near, he clapped his hand over my mouth. I struggled, wanting them to find us. To find him. To find me.
When the footsteps faded away completely, he removed his hand. The hand that had taken my mother’s life. The hand that had taken my lifeline from me. Yet, the hand that had saved my life.
“I hate you,” I whispered, unable to process that the words had even escaped my mouth. “I hate you, Griffin Chainbreaker.”
“She was going to kill you, Tethys.” He looked into my teary eyes, trying to keep me still. “She was going to do the same to you in cold blood.”
“I hate you!” I screamed, my voice sounding lost in my ears. Who did I hate? I didn’t even know if I was talking to him anymore. Why was I saying this?
“You don’t mean that.” He whispered, patient as ever.
“Yes, I do.” I tried to escape his grip on me again, but this time he was holding me down.
“Stop! Just stop, Tethys!” He yelled, finally losing hold of his temper. “People die, they all fade away. No one stays! Ever!” There was a pang of sadness in his tone, that I didn’t quite get. “Some people die way too young, some people live until they are old and content, but they all die eventually.” Then softer, “some little boys get sent to war to die. Innocent little boys. Some people who just aren’t taught how to survive.” Tears began to trickle down his bloody face, smearing the deep crimson painted on his milky skin. “Some people die even if they weren’t supposed to. Even if they did nothing wrong!” Drew. The word hung in the air; he didn’t say it. He didn’t have to. “I held him as he died, watching the smoke reduce to nothing but ashes.” He heaved at his last words, finally losing control. The chains binding him, finally snapped. He was sobbing.
I stared at him awestruck. I had never seen him cry, not like this. These were sobs that wracked his entire body. Sobs that held so much pain that they hurt to watch. Griffin had been treading on a thin sheet of ice, and he had just fallen into the icy waters below.
I sat there speechless, grief-stricken, unsure of where to go or what to do. I was so furious that I didn’t even know who I was mad at anymore. Griffin, the society, the Officials, me. I was just mad at the world! For how unfair it is, for how many people had to leave me. I had no more family left, first my dad, then my brother, and now…now my mother. For once I had no one to fall back onto, no one left in my safety bubble. No one left whose clouds were never supposed to go dark.
After a moment of silence, he spoke again. Softly, his voice cracking from the tears, “We tried doing it your way, now we’re doing it my way.”
“No,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the gentle trickle of rain. “There has to be another way.”
The musical pitter patter of raindrops across the alley felt wrong. Didn’t the world know what had happened? Shouldn’t it be grieving? His face looked eerie in the poorly lit alley, making the crimson blood splatters too red. Too bright.
“This is the rebellion,” he announced, much louder than he was speaking before. His eyes were red, and his voice was rubbed raw. “And you have two choices: join us or die.”
Chapter Twenty-One
I watched as he marched out of the dark alley, instructing me to meet him in the center of the Standard town bright and early the following morning. I didn’t know where to go, certainly not to my mother’s house.
As I trudged the familiar path back to my apartment, I thought over everything that had happened. Surely there was another way, a way that ensured no more dead. But there wasn’t, we were doing what the Officials had done to us for countless years.
That night, I had nightmare after nightmare. The images of my mother, father, and brother’s broken bleeding bodies filled my dreams.
After hours of attempting to sleep, I decided it was useless. I couldn’t bear to see them like this anymore. I walked over to my record book and flipped to the pictures of lives lost in the war. I found my father’s face first, I hadn’t looked at him in years. It had hurt way too much. I found a boy that could only have been Drew, he looked just as I had remembered him. Small, scared, and hopeless. Beside his picture I found Griffin’s; they had clearly tried to deny him surviving the war for quite a while.
I wondered if the Sentinels had found my mother’s body yet; I didn’t know if it would be better or worse if they had.
When the sun finally began to rise over the big, grassy hills of the field, I started the journey to the town square. I didn’t know what Griffin planned to do, but I knew it wouldn’t be peaceful. Then again, this was the only way left. Even with that thought, I felt sick as I walked the path to the center. No one was here yet, so I waited trying not to raise any suspicion.
An hour went by and I began to question my timing when I saw them. An entire force of Outsiders, yelling and shouting to the people in the houses. Some broke down doors if they didn’t leave, others came out of their houses willingly. I watched in horror as entire houses went up in flames. I saw a woman standing on the roof of her own house shouting. I couldn’t make out her words, so I risked getting closer.
Upon closer inspection, I recognized her face. A woman named Miss García, who had run the ice cream shop for countless years. She had streaks of what looked like blood at first, but to my great relief was only red paint, forming swirls across her face.
“I won’t sing for you anymore, Officials!” She screamed, with a hysterical laugh. “It’s about time!”
I watched her shout, and cheer on the Outsiders in confusion. Harmless Miss García with war paint drawn on her face? Yelling for the rebellion? It didn’t make sense until I realized what she meant about the songs. She said her soulmate had died before she could find him, a genius cover-up for being an Insider.
“Tethys!” I turned as I heard my name. Griffin was jogging up to me through the crowd. He had three streaks of black war paint going through his right eye, resembling the scars on his face, mockingly. “Do you see this?” He asked, looking around at the cheering people.
“I see houses going up in flames.” I crossed my arms, as Miss García ran past me screaming. This was exactly how people like my mother got killed. Innocent, brainwashed people.
“That’s not what I’m referring to,” he rolled his eyes. “Do you see the hope? Tethys, the Outsiders haven’t been hopeful since before the ranks were invented!”
I looked around and couldn’t deny the clear relief and joy I saw. Until now, I had never seen the quiet little ice cream lady raise her voice above even a whisper. But I also saw the burning houses, the Standards screaming. I could have been in their situation if I hadn’t met Griffin.
“Give them a choice, please.” I pleaded, turning back to him. “Don’t let them take their lives, they don’t know what they’re doing. They follow the Opulents blindly.”
Griffin looked at my distressed face, and nodded, taking my hands. “Okay, I’ll tell the Outsiders to leave the killing to the Sentinels.”
As dark as that sentence was, relief flooded through me. Griffin wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer, he wanted as many people as possible to live too. I didn’t know who to blame for my mother’s death, but I couldn’t keep hating him relentlessly for it. Not if the cause was to save my own life in the end. That strange feeling that I al
ways seemed to get around him flooded through me again, and I realized I couldn’t hate him. Not fully anyway. Especially not when I had played a role in her death as well.
“Thank you,” I whispered, giving his hand a small kiss, just like he had done in Mrs. Johnson’s house.
He smiled, looking a little more hopeful. “Now, shall we begin the destruction of the Nation of Lieu?”
I rolled my eyes, “Sure thing, but only if we can name it the Nation of Tess after.”
Griffin looked me up and down, “Yeah right.” He turned to leave, but I gently grabbed his arm, noticing the claw marks I had placed in my anger.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, taking in the destruction I had caused. The beautiful tattoo stained with the crimson that I had put there. None of this was his fault; I would have been dead if she was still alive.
“I’ve been hurt before, it’s okay.” A sad expression played across his face. “I can take it.”
I cupped his cheeks, gently massaging the scar beneath. He seemed to relax under the warmth of my hands, encouraged by the comforting touch. I couldn’t ever fully forget my mother, but she was gone, there was no changing that. So what was stopping me from being with him? Nothing, but my fears. He needed someone to love him just as much as I did; then came that feeling so strong in me again. I kissed him gently, the scar on his cold lip felt rough against mine. “Now, let’s go take down the Opulents!”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The responses from the Standards were varied, but in the end, we had almost the entire town with us. Those who didn’t join us had dark ends…ends I didn’t want to speak of. Even though we let them live, some thought that if the nation fell, they should too. Was that what I would have thought? Was that the end I would have met? I shook the thoughts from my head as I crawled into bed that night. A day, that was how much time we had left until taking on the central city. I didn’t know how Friday morning would go, but I was starting to feel anxious. I decided to attempt some of my homework, but I just couldn’t focus. If anything, it made me feel even more clueless. Except for the light trickle of rain outside, it was completely silent. Too quiet. As I threw my notebook across the room in frustration, a knock came at my front door, startling me. Who would come knocking at this hour?
I slowly got up, pulling on a sweatshirt, and walked cautiously to my door. I took a peek through the tiny hole, and relief flooded through me as I recognized the face outside.
After opening it and letting him in, I quickly shut the door and locked it. Griffin pulled down his hood, panting a little.
“Oh, thank goodness,” he breathed, pulling me into a tight hug. “You’re ok.”
I blinked in confusion, holding him just as close regardless. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I thought they might have gotten to you.” He quickly explained, looking extremely distraught.
“Who? The Sentinels?” I asked, pulling away.
He nodded his head towards my room, peeking out my door again. “Let’s talk in there, too many ears around.”
After I was seated on my bed, he began pacing and explained.
“Gone? How?” I blinked, taking his hand. Where could Sugar have gone? She was only nine…it didn’t make sense.
“I don’t know,” he said, clearly more upset than he was showing. He pulled out of my grip, running his hands through his curly black hair in frustration. “I came back to our promised meeting place, and she was gone.” He buried his head in his hands. “What if they got to her?” He spoke softly, his voice barely audible over the rain falling outside.
“Hey, Griffin.” I stood up, pulling him into another embrace. “It’s okay, she’s smart. She was on her own for a while before,” I pointed out. “She probably sensed that something was wrong and ran.”
“The whole place was turned upside down,” he whispered, his eyes blank. “Every drawer opened, dishes were shattered, doors burned down to the ground.”
“They were clearly looking for something, meaning they might not have found her,” I reassured him, though I wasn’t sure I believed it myself. When the Opulents wanted something, they stopped at nothing until they got it.
Griffin looked into my eyes, searching for answers. “Maybe.” He let his gaze fall to the ground, swallowing hard.
“Griffin, look at me.” I gently lifted his chin, meeting his blank stare. “This isn’t your fault.”
He buried his head in his hands again, unable to meet my gaze. “If I had just brought her with me–”
“To the whole rebellion thing? She definitely would have been hurt,” I pointed out. “You did everything you could.”
“I lost her again, after finally being reunited…Tess, I...I don’t know what to do.” He looked so lost, so helpless.
“Hey.” I gently led him over to my bed, sitting beside him. “Maybe Mary came back to take her with her?”
“Surely she would have told me,” Griffin insisted, reluctantly letting me hold him.
I ran my fingers through his hair. “How could she? If she left a note, the Sentinels would have found it.”
“They’ve already taken so much from me,” he whispered, snapping into that distant stare he always seemed to get trapped in. “What’s stopping them from taking her too?”
“They haven’t taken everything, and even if they did…” I gulped, unable to imagine a future without Sugar’s tiny smile. “Even if they did find her, your mother is still safe.” He curled up beside my chest, not looking reassured in the slightest.
“And you're still here,” he whispered after a few moments of silence. “I still have you.”
“You always will,” I kissed the top of his head, remembering that night under the stars. It seemed so long ago now.
“Don’t do that,” he muttered, looking up at me with those bright green eyes that always rendered me speechless. “Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Don’t give me hope.”
I pulled away facing him, wanting to let that feeling out so badly. If I say those three words, there is no taking them back. “Griffin, I need to know that if I jump, you’ll be on the other side. Please, just tell me you’ll be waiting to catch me.”
He paused, pulling away from me a little. “I...I can’t, Tess.” He was looking blankly at a spot in the room, years and years of horror reflecting in his tired eyes. He had used the word trapped after the broadcast that seemed so far away now. Caged, confined. Suddenly so many things made sense. Pushing me away, the guarded looks. He was terrified of commitment, of putting himself into something and not being able to pull out. Of being trapped…. And then I realized something else, the chains that always seemed to hold him back, the cold, distant glances. He trapped himself. More than anyone else, it was him. The iron cage that always surrounded him, confined his every breath; the bars he feared beyond hope, beyond all reason, he had constructed himself.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, wanting to leave him with no doubt of who I was. “I’ll wait. I won’t leave.” Flashbacks of my father caught me off guard, making me realize just how similar our situations were. So many people gone, such little trust left.
He looked at me, looking like he wanted to say something, but whether he had wanted to or not, I would never know. A huge broadcast appeared in front of us.
“Attention citizens of Lieu,” the Head Official, Mr. Lieu began, sounding less confident than usual. “There have been disturbances in our ranks, and you and your loved ones may be in danger. You are not to leave your house unless absolutely necessary. I assure you we are doing everything in our power to stop these riots. It seems the Fissure War is not our most dangerous threat anymore. Some people seem to think that our system is wrong.” He actually laughed at that. “We decided to remind them of who we are, and how much we have fought to get here today. Henry la Beaulieu did not fight among so many others to form our wonderful nation, only to see it fall at the hands of some uneducated, filthy criminals.”
The screen panned out to reveal a giant
stage beside his podium, and on the stage stood Sugar, trembling and beaten. The cloud above her head was a shade of purple I had only seen once. Right before they had taken Drew.
“NO!” Griffin screeched, jumping to his feet. “Sugar!” His screams were lost in the cheering crowd of Opulents. How heartless could they be? She was only a little girl! I was yelling with him, trying to reach Sugar through the screen. It was useless, but it was the only thing we could do, the only way to reach her for what may be the last time.
“Take this as a message, rebels. Stop this rebellion.” He paused as the camera dramatically zoomed in on Sugar’s tiny, trembling form. She was crying, smudging the dirt and blood that stained her precious face. “Or die.”
“Sugar!” Griffin fell to his knees, his voice cracking from the strain of tears.
She called out for a Bam Bam that would never come right before the bullets pierced her body.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The rest of Mr. Lieu’s words were lost in the sounds of our screams. Another gone, another dead. She had been so young. My thoughts went to Drew, a boy I had barely known yet understood so much about now. This society was so broken, so corrupt. How had I ever trusted these people? They took my family! They took Sugar!
Time passed by without us. I was overwhelmed with grief; so many questions went unanswered. The only thing I still knew to be true was the horrible sting of reality, the knowledge that they were never coming back. He was crying, I had never seen him cry like this. Harder than when he lost all hope that day. Because he hadn’t lost all hope then, not as he had now.
Half-blind by my tears, I stumbled over to the place where Griffin had fallen. When I got close enough, he wordlessly pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my shoulder. I dug my hands into his hair, doing the same. I could feel the fabric of my shirt quickly become wet with tears, and I was sure his was too. I didn’t know who was holding on tighter, but in that one small moment, it hit me. He was the only person I had left now. My final lifeline, my only support beam. And I was his.