17
THE DECORATION OF SAMMY
Psmith leaned against the mantelpiece in the senior day room atOutwood's--since Mike's innings against Downing's the Lost Lambs hadbeen received as brothers by the center of disorder, so that evenSpiller was compelled to look on the hatchet as buried--and gave hisviews on the events of the preceding night, or, rather, of that morning,for it was nearer one than twelve when peace had once more fallen onthe school.
"Nothing that happens in this loony bin," said Psmith, "has power tosurprise me now. There was a time when I might have thought it a littleunusual to have to leave the house through a canvas chute at one o'clockin the morning, but I suppose it's quite the regular thing here. Oldschool tradition, etc. Men leave the school, and find that they've gotso accustomed to jumping out of windows that they look on it as a sortof affectation to go out by the door. I suppose none of you merchantscan give me any idea when the next knockabout entertainment of this kindis likely to take place?"
"I wonder who rang that bell!" said Stone. "Jolly sporting idea."
"I believe it was Downing himself. If it was, I hope he's satisfied."
Jellicoe, who was appearing in society supported by a stick, lookedmeaningly at Mike, and giggled, receiving in answer a stony stare. Mikehad informed Jellicoe of the details of his interview with Mr. Barley atthe White Boar, and Jellicoe, after a momentary splutter of wrathagainst the practical joker, was now in a particular lighthearted mood.He hobbled about, giggling at nothing and at peace with all the world.
"It was a stirring scene," said Psmith. "The agility with which ComradeJellicoe boosted himself down the chute was a triumph of mind overmatter. He seemed to forget his ankle. It was the nearest thing to aBoneless Acrobatic Wonder that I have ever seen."
"I was in a beastly funk, I can tell you."
Stone gurgled.
"So was I," he said, "for a bit. Then, when I saw that it was all a rag,I began to look about for ways of doing the thing really well. I emptiedabout six jugs of water on a gang of kids under my window."
"I rushed into Downing's, and ragged some of the beds," said Robinson.
"It was an invigorating time," said Psmith. "A sort of pageant. I wasparticularly struck with the way some of the bright lads caught hold ofthe idea. There was no skimping. Some of the kids, to my certainknowledge, went down the chute a dozen times. There's nothing like doinga thing thoroughly. I saw them come down, rush upstairs, and be savedagain, time after time. The thing became chronic with them. I should sayComrade Downing ought to be satisfied with the high state of efficiencyto which he has brought us. At any rate I hope--"
There was a sound of hurried footsteps outside the door, and Sharpe, amember of the senior day room, burst excitedly in. He seemed amused.
"I say, have you chaps seen Sammy?"
"Seen who?" said Stone. "Sammy? Why?"
"You'll know in a second. He's just outside. Here, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!Sam! Sam!"
A bark and a patter of feet outside.
"Come on, Sammy. Good dog."
There was a moment's silence. Then a great yell of laughter burst forth.Even Psmith's massive calm was shattered. As for Jellicoe, he sobbedin a corner.
Sammy's beautiful white coat was almost entirely concealed by a thickcovering of bright-red paint. His head, with the exception of the ears,was untouched, and his serious, friendly eyes seemed to emphasise theweirdness of his appearance. He stood in the doorway, barking andwagging his tail, plainly puzzled at his reception. He was a populardog, and was always well received when he visited any of the houses, buthe had never before met with enthusiasm like this.
"Good old Sammy!"
"What on earth's been happening to him?"
"Who did it?"
Sharpe, the introducer, had no views on the matter.
"I found him outside Downing's, with a crowd round him. Everybody seemsto have seen him. I wonder who on earth has gone and mucked him uplike that!"
Mike was the first to show any sympathy for the maltreated animal.
"Poor old Sammy," he said, kneeling on the floor beside the victim, andscratching him under the ear. "What a beastly shame! It'll take hours towash all that off him, and he'll hate it."
"It seems to me," said Psmith, regarding Sammy dispassionately throughhis eyeglass, "that it's not a case for mere washing. They'll eitherhave to skin him bodily, or leave the thing to time. Time, the GreatHealer. In a year or two he'll fade to a delicate pink. I don't see whyyou shouldn't have a pink bull terrier. It would lend a touch ofdistinction to the place. Crowds would come in excursion trains to seehim. By charging a small fee you might make him self-supporting. I thinkI'll suggest it to Comrade Downing."
"There'll be a row about this," said Stone.
"Rows are rather sport when you're not mixed up in them," said Robinson,philosophically. "There'll be another if we don't start off for chapelsoon. It's a quarter to."
There was a general move. Mike was the last to leave the room. As he wasgoing, Jellicoe stopped him. Jellicoe was staying in that Sunday, owingto his ankle.
"I say," said Jellicoe, "I just wanted to thank you again about that--"
"Oh, that's all right."
"No, but it really was awfully decent of you. You might have got into afrightful row. Were you nearly caught?"
"Jolly nearly."
"It _was_ you who rang the bell, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was. But for goodness' sake don't go gassing about it, orsomebody will get to hear who oughtn't to, and I shall be sacked."
"All right. But, I say, you _are_ a chap!"
"What's the matter now?"
"I mean about Sammy, you know. It's a jolly good score off old Downing.He'll be frightfully sick."
"Sammy!" cried Mike. "My good man, you don't think I did that, do you?What absolute rot! I never touched the poor brute."
"Oh, all right," said Jellicoe. "But I wasn't going to tell anyone, ofcourse."
"What do you mean?"
"You _are_ a chap!" giggled Jellicoe.
Mike walked to chapel rather thoughtfully.
Mike and Psmith Page 17