The War of the Realms

by C Steven Meldrum

  Dorje patted me on back, that common show of feeling as old as the mountains themselves that substitutes for any uncomfortable feelings of sentimentality and worry. Nothing was said, but it meant more to me than anything he could have said at that moment.

  I tried to be happy and positive but remembering Abbott Tomas’s words sent me into a sullen silence– they are coming for you. In the weeks leading up to this visit I had tried to put it out of my mind, to be normal and to continue my studies and re-establish my friendships. But this visit would further serve to banish any thoughts of normality and to further sunder my dreams of staying here with my friends and being a normal student, a normal monk, a normal man.

  The official party had arrived and the festivities began in earnest. Yeshe climbed up to where we were, arms cradling more exotic foodstuffs than I had ever seen. She handed some to me and threw some at Dorje and Puk. They all laughed and I managed a smile. Actually, if I remember correctly it was the first time in a long while that I had and sadly it is the last time I can remember that I did. The look inYeshe’s eyes said that she supported me, whatever the actions that would come out of this visit. I saw her eyes stray to the scars on my face for a moment noted an almost imperceptible look of pity before a timed blast from the rows of rag-dun behind us called us all to attention.

  A dais had been erected atop an area reached by a broad stairway. Along both sides the armed corps of the regent’s security forces, which included many of our own Sera Ngari warrior-priests in the special blood-red garb of the Holy Regent’s elite squad of death commandos, stood impassively, intermingled with members of his cabinet and various other government and court officials. In a solemn ceremony, Lama Tomas knelt before the dais and presented a white katak to the holy regent and in return received a blessing. These ministrations continued for the next few watches and by the time the last of the supplicants had come and gone, the shadows loomed from the western wall and the higher staircase upon which the dais sat was bathed in a peaceful orange glow. Monastery staff and court officials hurried to get everything packed and inside as the temperature dropped and while we prepared to come down from the wall ourselves, I noticed a few of the court officials looking at me from across the courtyard. I must have been no more than a silhouette in the waning light but already I had been marked as the boy who had spoken with a goddess.

  In the morning, the dormitory was abuzz with continued excitement of the presence of visitors from Red Hill. Everyone except me seemed to be in high spirits. I could not have cared less for all the pageantry and flourish that accompanied this visit. I was too lost in my own misgivings to be happy about anything. When Abbott Tomas had said they are coming, I had not given it full thought but now I considered that when they returned to the capital, I might very well be going with them.

  There were more events planned for the day and indeed, for the next week the regent and his officials would be visiting classes and speaking with students and masters across the monastery

  From the dormitory window, Puk spotted numerous pilgrims approaching the monastery who had finally reached the gates after weeks and months of travelling on their own personal lingkhor, many performing the chak, a ritualistic prostration every few steps along their pilgrimage, reciting mantras and induced to a mental state of absolute devotion and receptivity to the divine.

  The pilgrims were a mixture of laymen: farmers, and townspeople, however, a good many yogin and other monks swelled the numbers in the courtyard, this journey part of their own paths to illumination.

  We washed and breakfasted and then went among the pilgrims talking to them, temporarily pulled into service with the Honour Guard (which was much more preferable to normal chores). We moved through the grounds, performing what crowd control measures needed to be done to keep everything orderly and ensure we had room for the burgeoning crowd, that food and comfort were provided for the sick and the elderly and that sanitary facilities were coping.

  Yeshe and I were talking to some monks from the highland outpost at Muru when Master Jai came running up to me.

  “Tashi, follow me. It is time.”

  I looked at Yeshe.

  “We’ll see you soon Tashi. Don’t worry. You’ll be out of there in no time.” She smiled and I turned to go with Master Jai.

  “Don’t look so despondent, Tashi. Which monk in a thousand has seen what you have seen? Just tell them what you remember. Master Panuaru and some students and hospital staff have each presented what they saw in the infirmary. Abbott Tomas will be there also.”

  I didn’t know whether I should be happy or not about that. I would have much preferred that Master Panuaru was there with me but either way this seemed a hundred times worse than when I had been summoned to speak to Abbott Tomas a week after it all happened. The room would be full of strangers and each would have their own opinions and some would think me fraudulent and I would be questioned unceasingly on every aspect of what I said. I wanted nothing more than to run, to escape this predicament, to go where no-one could find me. I thought of the ossuary that I would escape to as soon as this was over.

  We worked our way through the throng of people and eventually entered the main entrance. Up various flights of stairs and round numerous twists and turns of the vaulted corridors we went. Finally, Master Jai pushed open the large red doors to a public audience chamber wherein sat various high-ranking people of the regent’s entourage and also Lama Tomas.

  I stepped over the threshold with a terror I was barely able to conceal. The way down the centre was clear and at the end of the room I could see the regent perched cross-legged upon a gilt throne lifted perhaps four feet above the floor. I was surprised to see that he was not that old. He could not have been more than three or four years my senior which immediately put me more at ease.

  I bowed my head and immediately prostrated myself upon the floor with arms and legs stretched out in front and behind me.

  After a few moments, gentle hands grasped my arms and lifted me. In the dim room I saw an intelligent and bespectacled young face smiling at me as he crouched to help me stand.

  “Stand, young Tashigang, and let me see you.” He stood back from me and I could see his eyes tracing the scars that ran down my face.

  He returned to the dais and sat cross legged. Once he was comfortable he bade me to sit also and cushions were brought by attentive aides. Once I was seated and looking up at him, he called for staff to bring refreshments. I accepted some warm tsampa, as did he, and we sat there as though we were two friends, having a quiet drink and enjoying each other’s company, the intimidation of all those other people in the room quelled for the moment.

  “His Holiness sends his apologies to you, Tashi. He very much wanted to be here to meet you himself but as you know he is quite old now and we cannot risk any long journeys.”

  “I understand, Lord Regent.” I didn’t know what to say and finished with, “I would very much like to meet him too.”

  “That is good”, he smiled. “For you shall.”

  My stomach gave a leap. He had in a sentence confirmed that I would be taken from here, my home. I tried not to show my disappointment and continued to sip from my cup.

  “I have spoken to your Abbott Tomas, to your masters and to your friends: an extraordinary tale indeed. I would not ask you to relate the entire story again just for my benefit. I think that after hearing some of the embellishments, the truth of your stand-off with the wolves on the frozen river wouldn’t change anything, for it is what happened afterwards that I am more interested in. Would you answer some questions that I have?”

  “Yes, Lord Regent,” I said, bowing my head.

  “Please, Tashi, call me Tenzing. It may well be that in time to come I refer to you as ‘Your Holiness’. But now, tell me, how did these visions come about?”

  I spent the next watch describing what I remembered of floating along in warm summer water, perfectly at peace and happy beyond any level of contentment I had ever felt and then loo
king up in the eyes of Uma, the Golden Goddess, of seeing Lhapka standing with her and of what she told me. I also spoke of my dream, if it can be called that, where I floated in the presence of the Mother Goddess of the lake and held a magnificent sword.

  The regent leaned back and with arms crossed and one hand across his chin, pensively musing over my story. He said nothing, seemingly deep in his own thoughts, staring blankly into space above my head. After some time he simply said,“Extraordinary.” He paused for a moment, as if unsure how to proceed. He picked his words carefully.

  “I am the Holy Regent. But I am almost the most sceptical, doubting man you have ever met, which may seem contrary to my position, and indeed has been a constant personal challenge in blending a holy devotion with my secular duties.” He must have seen my eyes dart to the side because he added, “Yes, a sceptic – moreso even than your own Abbott Tomas.

  “You see, every year, I guess, there would be perhaps a thousand supposed ‘miracles’, or ‘visitations’ that we investigate. And in all those instances, I can say there usually is no basis of validity. There is usually however, a common thread–the hope of fame, recognition, wealth, the chance to better a struggling nomad’s livelihood, or his children’s prospects. Mostly these investigations are a waste of our time. But there are those few rare and rewarding instances when we find something that can only be described as exhilarating.

  “Usually ours is a question of ‘If’ – ‘If it’s true, then…?’ But here we jump straight to the question of ‘Why?’ … ‘Why are the gods thus revealed?’ Why, on three separate occasions, and one of those where every person in the infirmary shared your vision, have the gods themselves appeared? Are you to be Mankind’s hope in a hopeless cause, the fulcrum between our world of Irth and the domain of the gods? Have you in some fashion been chosen as their voice amongst us in some unforetold darkness that is to come? What are we to do, and more importantly, what are you to do?”

  “I do not know, Lord Tenzing.” And I was absolutely honest in that response.

  “And now we come to it. Tashi, I must be honest with you. His Holiness has been driven to despair with what he describes as dreams that are more than dreams. He has the sight. He is our Buddha on Irth and sees what the gods see.

  “It is easier for him to call them dreams but in the grey watches before the dawn he has described to his advisers and to me how he has stood upon plains and seen armies of men and mech obliterate each other with such force that sickens him to think can be brought into existence. He has described to me great engines of destruction and hordes of a nameless enemy that run rampant through this realm. His heart bleeds to suffer these dreams night after night and his health suffers.”

  “I am sorry to hear that,Lord Tenzing,” I offered.

  “It is the same every night and we fear for him. Then, yesterday, as we were travelling here, I had a communication to say he had had a waking dream which seemed more real than anything he had experienced before.”

  He looked hard at me.“He described standing upon a rocky plane and seeing the gates of the dry land yawn wide, and from it marched a hideous army of the dead. There is a saying; Suffer not of shades ‘ere gone to trouble the living day. But these were not the normal shades of men. Hideous and accursed,they poured forth, and at their head …”

  “Do not say it!” I pleaded and pointed the fingers of my right hand in a V-shape at the ground to ward off evil.

  “So, you have seen it too.”

  I stared at the ground andsighed. “Yes, this morning.”

  “Curious.”

  I continued to stare at the ground, the pain of the witchqueen’s cruel spear burning my chest.

  “I see you clutching your chest. Do you want to hear what his Holiness described to me– ‘a young monk, attired in dirty and torn yellow robes,’ he said, ‘perhaps one of our own. He stood before the advancing horde, maybe a hundred feet in front of me. His back was to me so I could not discern his face. The leader galloped forward and threw a spear which struck true, impaling the poor lad, who screamed and fell to the ground. The hideous army then vanished. With my staff for support, I hobbled to him and knelt beside him hoping to provide some aid. I turned him over, but there was no-one there. It was just an empty robe– no longer a yellow robe however, but a black robe.’”

  I could see the importance of what the Holy Regent was saying building to something. But then he changed tack slightly.

  “You know Tashi, there is always strife of one form or another in the universe. That is why we have such favour in the Galactic Council. Your own warrior-monks are spread throughout the galaxy quelling uprisings and performing peace keeping missions to ensure order and peace are maintained.” He went quiet again and pondered to himself for a while.

  “But this! His Holiness and a veritable army of advisers; ascetics, yogin, mystics, cenobites, and astrologers spend night and day searching for some divine truth to his visions. All the whileI have the galaxy’s best scientists and astronomers searching for some physical evidence, for the stars do not lie. We have received sketchy reports but have not been able to build a picture of any veracity. In describing your story to me, your own Abbott Tomas believes there is something insidious we need to look further into. If he is correct and the gods have indeed revealed themselves I can only surmise that our situation must be dire and without their intercession we would be lost.”

  I looked up at the Holy Regent and he looked back at me. He lowered his voice and looked at me with piercing eyes.

  “For it is now in my mind that a shadow and a menace have taken hold that encompasses more than just this realm of man. There are many questions still to be answered, questions upon questions, and I will not panic us all more by supposing more than I know. But I now believe that what we have most feared has come to pass. And if I am right, then none of the arts of men, nothing that we here possess, will avail. It is sad to say, but nothing that anyone here can do will make any kind of difference in the war that is to come.”

  “War that is to come?” I repeated, as if in a dream.

  “The last war, the great war – Jagadamba! His Holiness charged me to interpret his visions and in all the research I have done I was as certain as I could be to a point. You have now confirmed my worst fears. Bhagadatta’s general has thrown wide the gates of the black land and marches forth. At last he will have his revenge!”

  As the Holy Regent’s words sank in, I could feel myself, like a leaf floating atop a storm ravaged river, totally at the mercy of the wild rapids, the currents and eddies, the rocks on the surface and the ones hidden below the swirling waters. I felt out of control and ahead of me I could feel a curtain drawing aside to reveal a terrible purpose that I must confront. My head swam with the import of what the regent said and I felt nauseous at the prospect of my involvement in any of it.

  “As regent for our people I have a responsibility not only for our wellbeing, but also for our forces spread throughout the universe. I have called for more information so that we can know how to act. We are amassing our forces and sharing what we know so that our knowledge is not dwindled should it come to that. But the galaxy is a large place and I don’t know yet how the end will come.”

  I steeled myself for the question I could see coming and hated to ask but knew I must; “How is it that I can help, Lord Tenzing.”

  “His Holiness has spent decades searching for you, Tashi. You have been visited by the triumvirate of holy goddesses, and I believe, as do the men that have accompanied me on this journey, that the evidence is overwhelming. It is not for us to wonder at that you are the Panchen Erdeni returned to us, the Rinpoche that marks the unceasing tulku reincarnation lineage. My hope is that we build our resistance on a large-scale mobile assault force so we can quickly mobilise to wherever we need to in order to suppress any attacks. The Galactic Counsel is due to meet shortly to elect a war chief, but they are not as yet completely convinced there is a need.”

  “Will that wor
k?”

  “No,” he said, a little too matter-of-factly, as though he had given that one question a lot of thought. “If what I believe is true then nothing we do will make any kind of difference. But we need to do something. My strategy for victory, however, is much more aspecific. I believe we need you. You have been chosen by those who cannot be questioned. You are our hope. What it is you are expected to do I have no idea but you are the one. You are Amitabha Buddha.” He immediately prostrated himself on the floor in front of me and I was shocked to see everyone in the room following suit. I stood up in shock and disbelief, waving my hands and feeling faint and giddy.

  “No, no … I’m just Tashi … just Tashi … you’ve got the wrong boy … I … I’m not special, I’m not a Lama … I …” I turned and fled passed the rows of prostrating supplicants and once outside, and for the second time in a day, emptied the contents of my stomach, this time over the decorative carpet that had been laid over the narrow stairs for the Lord Regent’s use.

  Later, Puk sat beside me upon the sarcophagus looking out over the vacant courtyard before the Dragon Tower.

  “They sent me to find you Tashi.”

  I sat on the edge of the sarcophagus with my knees pulled up and hands wrapped around them, my face staring out at the white expanse before me. My mind reeled and I quoted;

  “Unwilling I look up to heaven, unwilling count the stars: Sitting in fathomless abyss of my immortal shrine

  I seize their burning power

  And bring forth howling terrors, all devouring fiery kings.”

  “What Tashi?”

  “Devouring and devoured,” I continued at him. “Roaming on dark and desolate mountains …” I pointed up to an ancient and burnished inscription above the lintel on the inside of the doorway. I had memorised it a long time ago and I had fancied in simpler times that it was a kind of personal decree or edict but it now seemed to have a terrible relevance and it seemed the perfect time to repeat it.