Cream-Pied (DTF (Dirty. Tough. Female.) Book 2)

by Kat Addams

  “Okay. Good night, Ma. Thank you for the lovely dinner,” I said, following behind Weston up the stairs.

  “Meet me in the bathroom. I got your pajamas,” Weston whispered to me.

  “Ten-four,” I confirmed, shuffling my feet forward across the creaky floorboards.

  I ducked into my room at the top of the stairs and grabbed my toiletry bag. I was ready for a hot shower and cozy pajamas. I tiptoed around upstairs, opening three doors before I found a bathroom, flipped on a light, and waited for Weston to give me my nightshirt so that I could sleep.

  I turned the shower knob and began to let the water heat up, quickly brushing my teeth and slapping my face a few times to wake myself up.

  “Here! Take these!” Weston poked a hand through the door, offering me my pajamas.

  “You can come in. I’m decent,” I said, opening the door and prying my pajamas from his hands. I unfolded black lacy thongs and straps that I assumed would cover just across my nipples. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I threw them at his chest. The lacy thongs caught in Dan and hung there, swinging back and forth.

  “Yes, I am. Here. They match! Will be perfect for us going down to breakfast in the morning. Check them out. The lingerie you can keep for dancing at least, I thought.” Weston shrugged his giant shoulders and handed me a bag.

  I pulled out an oversize flannel onesie and sighed. “Whatever,” I said, beginning to undress.

  “Oh! I’ll get out.” He stepped back toward the door.

  “Don’t be silly! It’s not like you haven’t seen me half-naked before.”

  “I haven’t seen your beaver!”

  “Call it that again, and I’ll make sure it gnaws your wood in half. If you’re comparing my vagina to an animal, you’d better say it’s a tigress or a leopard or a magical unicorn, but don’t call it a beaver, or we’ll have problems.”

  “Got it.” He nodded. “I’ll just step out and get ready for bed in the other bathroom. Let me know if you need anything else. Knock on my door at the end of the hall or text me. Have a good night, Nikki. You killed it down there. Especially with that cottage stuff. How did you come up with that?”

  “That’s really me. That one at least wasn’t a lie,” I whispered as I shut the door.

  “You’re amazing,” he whispered back loudly through the door.

  I smiled as I took a hot shower, dried off, and wiggled into my cozy flannel pajamas. It was too hot outside for flannel, but true to what Weston had told me, his mom had the air conditioner cranked down to a level that turned my nipples into glass cutters. I shivered as I wrestled myself into my onesie before realizing it had a butt flap. I turned around in the mirror, looking over my shoulder and cringing at the two buttons that held the flap shut.

  I unfastened the buttons, laughed at my bare ass in the mirror, and left the flap hanging. When I opened the door to go back to my bedroom, Ma stood there, waiting with a fresh towel in her hand.

  “Ahh!” I screamed, jumping nearly out of my skin.

  “I thought you might like a fresh towel, dear. I couldn’t remember if I had put any out or not,” Ma said, handing me a fluffy towel with a horse sewn on it.

  Yeah, right. She wanted to see if I was shacking up with her innocent little boy.

  “Thanks. I found one in there. I appreciate it though. I’ll just put this one right back where I found the other.” I turned to shove the towel in the cabinet, not remembering my bare, panty-less ass hanging out the back of my pajamas. I froze as soon as I felt the draft from turning around quickly.

  “Oh my! Dear! I think you forgot to adjust yourself after potty time.” Ma covered her eyes.

  “Sorry! I can’t get used to these darn things. It’s tough to button them up. I thought I’d just hold the flap up while I hightailed it to bed.” I laughed, holding my pajamas together so I didn’t expose any more of myself.

  “I’ll cover you.” Ma looked both ways down the hall. “You got it! Run, run, run!” she whispered.

  I yelped, holding my ass flap together against my cold buns, and skipped back to my room. I peeked out from behind the door and waved. “Night, Ma!”

  But she was already walking down the stairs, shaking her head.

  I snapped a selfie in the dresser mirror of my ass-less pajamas and sent it to DTF before turning off the light and tucking myself into my feathered bed. I pulled the covers over my shoulders and sighed happily. I was halfway to dreamland when I heard a quiet knock on my door.

  Damn it, Ma.

  I shuffled across the floor and unlocked the door.

  “Did you forget something again?” I asked, opening the door to see that it was only Weston.

  “No. I just wanted to see you in the pajamas I picked out. Check it out!” He turned around, showing me his buttoned-up flap covering his butt.

  “Yeah, yeah. I noticed. I gave your mom a show too. Thanks. For the pajamas.” I narrowed my eyes and made my way to shut the door, but he put his hand against the doorframe, stopping me.

  “I came over because I wanted to thank you for being so wonderful down there. And I was wondering if maybe you were up for some talking. I could use some help with getting my mind off of tomorrow’s big day. No telling what kind of stunt my brother will pull to get his name on everything!”

  I rubbed my eyes and yawned. “Sure. Come on in. No promises I won’t fall asleep though. I’m exhausted.”

  I opened the door. Weston ran inside and dived into the bed, bouncing on his knees.

  “Slumber party!” he announced.

  “No. This is me being nice and letting you tell me your feelings, so we can both get some sleep.”

  He sighed, lay down on the bed, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Oh, where do I begin? I think my troubles all started when I was four.”

  I crawled in bed next to him, propped myself up on my elbow, and prepared for a long night. “Mine started when I was four too. Go on.”

  “I was just kidding. I don’t know when mine started. Probably the teenage years when my brother and I became competitive. He’s not a total asshole or anything. I just want what I want, and that’s not for him to run the family business. Only me. But now that you started on feelings, I want to know what started at four with you.” He turned his body toward me and sat up on his elbow too. Dan was only inches from my face.

  “I thought this was a conversation about you?”

  “Not anymore. I don’t want to relive it all. You tell me about you.”

  “Okay. I don’t particularly like reliving mine either, but here goes. My dad left when I was young. My mom was never around. She worked odd jobs to make ends meet, and her free time was left with deadbeat boyfriends who didn’t have jobs. They used her for her money, never paid any attention to me. Stole shit. Talked down to my mom and me. Did drugs. I had a lot of men coming in and out of my life. Now, I know my mom was only looking for love, but she forgot that she had it all along with me. I loved her, and I needed that love back. But she was gone, finding love from men. And I get that people don’t want to be alone. But we don’t need partners in life to make us happy. Hell, I’m happy with just having friends with benefits for now. Works for me,” I rambled, feeling my blood pressure rise.

  “I’m so sorry, Nikki. I can’t imagine growing up, not having anyone to guide me really or not having a support system. You’ve done amazing for yourself. She missed out on you. Where is she now? Do you talk to her still?”

  “It’s not her fault. She grew up in a vicious cycle. Chaos was her normal. I get it now. But, no, she’s not here anymore. She died six years ago. Breast cancer. That’s why I cut mine off and filled my chest with fake ones. She had the gene, and so do I. We learned some tough lessons that last year, but it was too late. She was gone before we got to mend much. I don’t fault her. She will always be my mama. I just wish she could have given me the family life I needed and wanted. Probably would have saved me some hard life lessons.”

  I rubbed my eyes, surprised at m
yself for getting so damn deep with Weston.

  “And you don’t want the family life anymore? You’re happy being single and getting your needs met with friends with benefits, you said?” His brows pulled together.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want all of that anymore. I’ve never had it. I guess I gave up on it because it’s just … too late for me.”

  “Fiddlesticks! How old are you?”

  “Twenty-eight.”

  “I’m thirty-four, and I’m not giving up on family life.”

  “But you have a family life.”

  “I know. But I want more. I want my own one day. Ten acres of land just like this here. I want to tell my grandkids to pull my finger while we ride on tractors and laugh at our five dumb dogs.”

  “You have this all planned out, don’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  “I hope you get what you want,” I whispered, gently reaching out to stroke Dan before I knew what I was doing.

  “I hope you find what you want.” He smiled back at me, taking my hand and kissing my fingertips before sliding out of bed and disappearing into the night.

  I stared at the ceiling and turned the celestite ring I wore on my index finger back and forth. My mom had given it to me right before she passed. She had told me it was known as the cosmic lullaby crystal. She had asked that when I wear it, I should think of how she would forever sing me lullabies to make up for all those nights she’d missed singing them while here on Earth. Despite our rocky relationship, I never took off my celestite ring.

  SIX

  Weston

  “Rise and shine, dear!” my ma called, tapping on my door. “Breakfast is gettin’ cold! Hurry down!”

  I rubbed my eyes and let them adjust to the sunlight streaming through my window. I had woken up in the middle of the night, nervous over the big day. I knew my parents would keep me busy enough to keep my mind off of it, but I didn’t want to leave Nikki alone with my family—especially Wes.

  I groaned like an old man as I pushed the blankets off of me and rolled out of bed. Today was the day that my entire family would meet my fake fiancée, and I needed to prepare myself. I jogged in place for fifteen seconds and did half a push-up and two jumping jacks to get my blood flowing. When I bounced in place, my flannel pajamas rubbed scratchily against my stubbled manscaping, reminding me that I had gotten too carried away with that damn razor. I tugged the elastic waistband and peered down between my legs. Razor burn dotted my entire nether regions.

  Ouch!

  I stuck my hand down my pants and itched around my balls. When I had shaved myself smooth yesterday, I never thought about the aftermath of growing sandpaper back. I opened my bedroom door and hobbled to the bathroom in hopes of finding something, anything, I could use to give me some relief. I itched, I burned, and I cursed my dick.

  “What are you doing?” Nikki laughed, stopping me in the hall and catching me with my hand still down my pants.

  “Nikki!” I yelped. “Good morning.” I reached my hands up above my head as if I were being held up.

  “You can put your hands down, silly. I’m not arresting you for scratching your johnson.”

  I winced, nodding and shuffling my feet inside the bathroom.

  “Be right back,” I croaked.

  “Are you okay? You don’t look so good. Did you … sleep on your penis wrong or something? Is that a thing?”

  “No, no. I … had a mishap. With a razor.” I cupped my dick, whimpering.

  “You cut your dick?” she gasped.

  “Shh! No! Golly, if Ma heard you say that, we would be in a pickle! No, I didn’t cut my dick! I got carried away in the shower when I was doing my manscaping yesterday, and I shaved everything clear off! Now, I’m paying for it.”

  “Why would you shave it all off?”

  “Because I have sascrotch! That’s why! I’m a woolly mammoth! Think Dan is just confined to my chin? Think again,” I blurted, putting my burly shame out there for her to take or leave.

  Her eyes crinkled. “Sascrotch? So, you’re trying to tell me you’re a manly man then. Not some smooth-shaved city boy.” She stepped closer to me.

  “I guess you can look at it that way. Except now, I’m a stubbly porcupine who needs to change out of this flannel and into nothing because my balls are rubbed raw, and I itch like the dickens.” I stuck both hands down my pants and went to town, scratching, groaning in relief.

  “The dickens?” She laughed. “Calm down there. Let me grab some coochie cream, and you’ll be good to go. You might need to slather yourself up a few times today though. Also, your cock is going to smell like cotton candy.”

  Nikki ran into her room and came back out with a small bottle of lotion, dangling it in my face. “Take it. It helps. I learned the hard way, being a stripper. You have to be pretty much hairless. I should buy stock in this stuff. Anyway, see you at breakfast!” She turned around and left for downstairs.

  “Thanks, wifey,” I croaked, shutting the bathroom door and lubing up every inch of my botched manscape. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach as I wondered why she had brought coochie cream to my parents’ house.

  By the time I made it to breakfast, my balls had quit burning, and I could walk straight. The smell of bacon, my ma’s special cinnamon rolls, and coffee had been enough motivation for me to fly down those stairs and join my family circus.

  “Good mornin’!” I said, bending down to kiss my ma, who was pouring Nikki a cup of coffee. “And good mornin’ to my beautiful wife-to-be too!” I kissed Nikki’s forehead.

  “I trust ya slept okay?” Ma said, grabbing another mug.

  “I did. Here, sit down. I got it. Let me serve you!” I insisted, pulling out a chair for my overworked mother.

  Nikki smiled. Her eyes followed me as I fixed my ma a plate before going back to make my own and settling down.

  “He is just perfect, isn’t he? You know, you can judge a man by the way he treats his mother,” Nikki said, taking a bite out of her cinnamon roll.

  The sticky icing rolled down her bottom lip before she wiped it away and licked her finger … slowly. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her.

  “He has always been the sweeter one. Not to say Wes isn’t sweet. He is too. But he is more push and shove, and my Weston here is more of a step aside,” Ma said, patting my back.

  Nikki caught me watching her and winked, sucking on her finger again.

  What in the world? Does she want my body? Does she think I’m sexy?

  The song popped into my head as her little cocktease gave me newfound motivation.

  “Well, it’s easy to step aside and be a gentleman when you are surrounded by lovely women,” I said.

  “Yeah, not like that lizard lady you dated!” Dad said, grabbing a plate and sitting down beside me.

  Nikki’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. I never told her about the lizard lady for apparent reasons.

  “Yep, yep.” I cleared my throat. “So, what time is everyone supposed to be here?” I pushed the food around on my plate.

  “Your brother’s supposed to be here just after lunch,” Ma said. “But everyone else should be arriving around six. Caterers should be set up by then. The band starts at seven and the fireworks at nine. Lord willing, everyone should be out by midnight!”

  “Sounds like a fun party!” Nikki said, smiling over at me.

  “It’s the best! We do it every year. You’ll see. Maybe by this time next year, you’ll have a baby in your belly, and I’ll be a grandma!” Ma clapped.

  “Lord willing,” Nikki replied, not missing a beat.

  “Can I help you clean up, Ma?” I asked, finishing my plate and taking it to the sink. I grabbed Nikki’s and took it to the sink too.

  “No, sweetie, you may not! The cleaning crew helped a bit this morning. They’re cleaning our room right now but will be back to help me shortly. You just show that pretty bride of yours around. Take her out on the tractor and show her
the farm.” Ma reached across the table to pat my hand.

  “Tractor shmactor. Take her on the four-wheeler to the mud pit,” Dad said.

  “Mud pit?” Nikki squealed. “Can we, Weston? Please, please, please!”

  “Well, if you insist. I hope you’ve got some clothes with you that you don’t mind getting dirty,” I replied. I hadn’t been mudding since that one night in college when I drank too much Jack Daniel’s and danced naked as a jaybird in a puddle. That was the latest mudding experience I’d had, which had sworn me off of mud—and Jack—ever since.

  “Let’s go! I‘ve got something I can wear,” she said, hopping up out of her seat, thanking Ma for breakfast and kissing her cheek before taking off upstairs.

  “I reckon that bride of yours has a wild streak in her.” Dad grinned. “Reminds me of your mama.”

  “Oh, you! Hush!” Ma cast her eyes away and blushed.

  This was beginning to be awkward territory.

  “All right. I’ll just step out and be back around lunchtime. See ya! Thanks for breakfast!” I backed away from the kitchen and ran upstairs.

  Nikki was already in her room with the door shut. The thought of her back at the table, licking those lips, sent my willy jumping in my pants. Just knowing that she was on the other side of that door, naked, had me all riled up. I stopped right outside of her door, hesitating on if I should knock or not.

  “What are you doing?” she blurted, opening the door so fast that a mad rush of wind slapped me in the face.

  “How did you know I was out here?” I asked.

  “Because you sound like a Clydesdale walking up the steps. Now, where is this mud wrestling going to happen?” She stepped out of her room in only a tightly fitted white tank and a pair of jean shorts.

  “I, uh … I—what—shorts.”

  She cringed. “Yes. I am in shorts. You should be too. It’s not like you haven’t ever seen these before!” She pulled the neckline of her tank down, letting her boobs pop right out in the open.

  “Bra!”