by AJ Alexander
I sigh, thankful that my friend understands what I need even when I can’t explain it.
Me: Thank you for everything.
Rylee: Anything for you two. Anything.
I throw my phone onto the seat beside me before backing out of the spot and heading toward the Corporate Cares office downtown. Maybe throwing myself into work will help me forget the mess my life has become.
Chapter Five
Tyler
Watching Lucy walk away from me damn near broke my heart, but trying to talk to her when she has dug her heels in won’t help either of us.
I sigh as I head back into the garage. May as well find something useful to do. I head over to Colton’s backup engine. Being a gear head through and through, I know my boy has the best there is, even for his back up.
Dangling from a cherry picker in the corner of the shop is a 2.2-liter twin-turbocharged, direct-injected V6 engine from Honda. I know this isn’t the normal engine Colton uses, but I was able to talk him into grabbing this one for a steal. I walk around the engine taking in the sleek design and polished chrome. When I get this baby up and running it can go roughly 12,000 rpm.
“You are seriously going to fix this piece of junk.” I spin around, catching a glimpse of Colton standing in the doorway. He has a bright smile on his face that means his practice laps went well.
“Did you beat your time?” I ask before I guide the engine on to the engine block.
“My good luck charm was watching, so you know I couldn’t go anything but fast.” I shake my head at Colton. Anyone who knows him wouldn’t expect any less. People don’t call him Mr. Arrogant for nothing.
I unbolt the intake manifold and oil pan before Colton speaks again. “You going to tell me what happened with you and Lucy? Rylee is beating herself up for shoving you two together like that.”
“Nope.” I respond as I clench my teeth tightly together. Colton has been nothing but good to me and I need to keep my temper in check.
“I doubt that. Come on, man, we’ve been to hell and back together. Talk to me.” I hear him place his helmet on a nearby workstation.
“The person who has been to hell is me. You were here, living the dream while I lost everything I ever wanted in life.” I throw the socket wrench I was using to the floor with a clang. It slides across the floor stopping just short of hitting Colton’s foot.
“You have everything right here in front of you. You just need to stop being an ass long enough to grab ahold of it.”
“That’s bullshit and we both know it!” I yell, no longer able to control the anger bubbling inside me. “You knew! You knew all this fucking time and never once said anything to me.”
“Things aren't always how they appear, Tyler,” Colton responds calmly.
“She has a kid, Colton. That’s not something you can make a mistake in seeing. That little boy can’t be any more than three years old and looks exactly like her.” I turn, placing both hands on the workbench in an attempt to calm the storm raging in my heart. “She must have been waiting for me to disappear so she could jump into bed with someone else.” I grip the edge of the bench tightly, the edges cutting into my skin mimicking the pain I feel in my heart.
“We all know how much Lucy loves you. You just need to pull your head out of your ass long enough to remember that.”
“Don’t you mean loved?” I turn and ask him, hoping he can give me something to go on. Something to help me understand why him and Rylee would do this to me. “There is no way that woman who left here still loves me.”
“It doesn’t help that you called her a whore to her face. I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you after that either.”
“How do you know what I said to her? Do you have the garage bugged now or something?” I smirk at my friend before grabbing another socket wrench from the toolbox and removing more parts from the engine.
“I know you, Tyler. I know seeing Lucy with a kid hurt like hell, but you did what you always do. You reacted before thinking things through.”
I remove the fan wheel and place it on the bench behind me, not bothering to look up before responding. “I really wasn’t in the mood for a heart-to-heart about how happy she has been since I left.”
Colton shakes his head as he steps closer to me, smacking me in the back of the head, “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass, Tyler?”
“What the hell is your problem, man? What happened to bros before hoes? I can tell Rylee and Lucy have gotten close since I was gone, but I didn’t think you would have such a vested interest in whether she and I got back together.”
I pause and think about Lucy and the little kid holding her hand when I saw her. Suddenly the obvious answer dawns on me “Or is there more? Do you want your problem to go away? Not only does the rugrat look like Lucy, but he also looks a lot like you.” I drop the socket wrench I was holding on to the ground and pull my fist back ready to punch Colton in the face. “How could you do that to Rylee? Wasn’t that shit with Tawny enough? You just had to go after my girl too.”
Colton must expect my outburst because he reaches forward, grabbing my wrist and wrenching it behind my body. I need to raise my heels off the ground to stop him from breaking my arm.
“I will let your cheap shot fly, but only because I understand you’re hurting right now. But don’t think for one minute I would risk my relationship with Rylee over a piece of ass. Tawny tried that shit already.”
He releases my arm, pushing me to the ground. I stand quickly, standing nose-to-nose with my boss and friend. “Lucy is so much more than a piece of ass,” I growl.
“You need to remember that before you lose two of the best things that ever happened to you. Get out my garage and cool off.” Colton sidesteps me and heads out of the garage, leaving his helmet on the workbench closest to the door.
“God damn it!” I shout, looking for something to throw or break to let out the anger filling my veins. I breathe in and out, my anger subsiding with every breath.
Colton is right, that was a cheap shot. I know the bullshit he went through when Tawny made the accusation that her kid was his, trying to take advantage of his memory loss.
“I’m a fucking asshole,” I sigh before I begin cleaning up the tool I threw. “I should have known better. There is no way Colton would do something like that to Rylee, not after everything she has already been through because of him.”
Even when he had no memory of her, Rylee stayed by his side through all that bullshit. He’s a different person since they finally got together, a better person. Just like I thought I would be when I came back here to figure things out with Lucy.
I grab a grease rag off the bench and shut off the lights; I have some groveling to do. I pull my cell phone from my pocket and dial Rylee’s number. It barely rings before she answers. “Check your text, I already sent you her address. She gets off of work around five. We are supposed to have wine and girl talk, but for you I’ll make an excuse.”
I smile. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Nothing. Now don’t screw this up,” Rylee pauses for a moment, and I hear a tiny voice in the background. “Gotta go. I’m a princess in distress and shouldn’t have a cell phone.” She giggles quietly before ending the call.
Rylee must be at the House, the foster home she works at and where she spends almost all of her free time without Colton. I’m half tempted to call Kellen and see if he wants to blow off some steam with a couple of beers later, but knowing Rylee, she already informed everyone I have a prior engagement for the evening.
“Guess I should head home and change. If I am going to be asking for a second chance, I should smell like something other than motor oil,” I mumble into the empty shop as I shut the light off and head toward my car.
I pull up the text from Rylee and plug the address into my phone. It seems we have similar styles in houses. She only lives about a mile down the road from me. I’m not entirely sure if this is a blessing or a curse.
Chapter Six
Lucy
My day went from bad to worse after my supposed meeting this morning with Tyler. I couldn’t focus on anything and ended up having to stay almost an hour later than usual because I had to redo some purchase orders for the fundraiser.
“Man, what I wouldn’t give for a glass of wine and a hot bath,” I mumble to myself as I climb out of my car and head for the front door.
I texted Rylee to let her know that I would be running late. Thankfully she was already on her way to the house with Colt.
“Momma’s home!” Rylee chirps from her place on the couch with Colt as I walk through the door. He quickly slides down off the couch and comes barreling in my direction. I don’t even have enough time to brace for the impact when he runs right into my legs, wrapping his tiny arms around both of them.
“Hey, little man! How was your day with Rylee?” I drop my purse on the floor and pick him up, placing a wet kiss on his cheek.
“Ew, dat gross Momma.” He makes the most adorable face as he reaches up and wipes my kiss off his cheek. “Rweey said I need to go to bed like a good little boy because momma has company.”
I look around Colt’s head making eye contact with Rylee as a masculine voice fills the room. “Hello, Lu.” A shiver runs up my spine as I walk further into the house and see Tyler standing near the back door.
“Hello, Tyler. I apologize for leaving abruptly this morning, but I had a meeting I needed to prepare for at the office,” I respond robotically, hoping he will just let what happened slide.
“There is no need to apologize. I was being an ass. Shit, sorry.” He turns a light shade of red before rubbing his hands down his face. I giggle quietly as I see how ashamed he looks for swearing in front of Colt.
“Although I try to curb my swearing in front of Colt, he spends plenty of time around the track to have heard a word or two. I just hope he never figures out what they mean.” I smile as I place Colt back on the couch with Rylee. “We can head out back and chat.” I motion toward the back door; he nods his head before sliding the door open and waiting for me to go out first.
There is a light breeze blowing through the back yard as the sun sets behind the trees. “You have a beautiful home.” He comments from beside me before taking a seat on one of the chairs on the deck. “We must have similar tastes because I only live about a mile or so down the road.”
I sigh, just my luck. “What did you come here for? I think we both said everything we needed to this morning.” I wrap my arms around my waist, protecting myself from whatever other hurtful things he wants to say to me.
“I want to apologize, Lu. I should never have said those hurtful things to you. I don’t know how I expected you to wait for me all this time and not move on with your life.”
“Things change just like people. I don’t regret my son.” I skirt around the truth. I know that he has every right to have a relationship with his son, but how am I to know that he won’t just run out on him when he finds something better.
“I regret ever leaving you.” Tyler pushes up off the chair and stalks toward me. “I regret not explaining to you why I had to leave, but most of all I regret losing you.”
He stops in front of me, close enough to lean forward and capture my lips with his. I hold my breath praying he won’t kiss me but also hoping he will. Suddenly the door flings open beside us and Colt comes barreling out the door.
“Push me, please,” he says, just like a little gentleman.
“I’m sorry, buddy. Momma is talking with her friend, but maybe Rylee can push you while we finish.”
“Rweey left. She told me to come out here and play.” I smirk at my friend’s antics; she always knows when I need her help. Colt tugs on the leg of Tyler’s pants, “Can you push me?” he asks, giving his best puppy dog eyes.
Tyler looks at me with a panicked expression waiting for some instruction on what to do. I cross my arms and wait; I have no desire to help him out of this one. Besides, I was thrown in the deep end of motherhood. It’s his turn to figure things out on his own.
“As long as it’s okay with your mom.” He stares down at Colt with nothing but wonder in his eyes.
“It’s okay with me. Have you had dinner yet?” Both of them respond no before racing toward the tire swing in the backyard. I watch as Tyler carefully lifts Colt into the swing, reminding him to hold on tight before giving the swing a light push.
Colt squeals, “Higher! Higher!” as he kicks his feet in joy. Tyler smiles, not his patented smirk, but a genuine smile. The one that was only reserved for me when we were together.
I watch them for a few more minutes before opening the door and heading into the house. If it was just Colt and myself, I would probably just make some mac and cheese with a vegetable and call it a day, but since Tyler seems to have invited himself to stay, I need to make something more filling.
Rummaging through my cabinets, I smile when I notice I have all the ingredients to make my mother’s spaghetti sauce. Colt loves it and I used to make it for Tyler occasionally when we were dating. This will be the perfect meal for us to share as a family.
As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I banish it. “We are not a family. I don’t even know if he will be sticking around long enough to get to know Colt,” I mumble into the cabinet as I grab a can of crushed tomatoes.
I assemble the ingredients on autopilot letting my mind go through all the possible scenarios of what could happen if I let Tyler into Colt’s life - I come up with nothing.
Everything leads me to believe that once Tyler finds out that Colt is his son, he will have one of two reactions. Be incredibly pissed that I kept this from him for the last four years or two he will turn tail and run. My mind is fixated on one option, but my heart is leaning toward another. Most importantly I have to do what I think is best for Colt.
I finish assembling all the ingredients and turn the sauce on to boil. As I reach into the cupboard for noodles, I catch a glimpse of Colt tackling Tyler to the ground and raising his tiny arms over his head in victory.
The smile on both of their faces is contagious but doubt quickly creeps into my mind. I know in my heart Tyler will be a great father to Colt, but is he ready to take on that responsibility? Am I ready to let him back into my heart again?
I don’t know the answers to either of those questions, but I’m willing to take a chance and find out.
Chapter Seven
Tyler
“Again! Again!” He shouts as he knocks me down on the ground. I chuckle in response as I wrap my arms around his tiny waist and roll onto my knees.
“I’m sure your momma is almost finished with dinner by now. You should probably head inside and wash up,” I pause, remembering that I have no idea what his name is.
“Hey, what’s your name anyway?” I ask as we head toward the house, hand in hand.
“Colt, ike Coton. We ‘ave the same birfday too.” He smiles brightly up at me as my chest tightens. I take a deep breath and release it. Colton already said this little man isn’t his and I believe him, but knowing he has a connection to this little man that I never will hurts. I wonder if Lucy would tell me who the father is or if I know him. Any man that would desert his son is a piece of shit and deserves to be shot.
I pull the sliding glass door open and the smell of Italian spices fills my nostrils. I would know that smell anywhere. Lucy must be making her mother’s spaghetti sauce. Memories of Lucy and I having dinner at the garage, eating from deformed Tupperware containers fill my mind. She would bring me dinner on race nights, making sure I had something in my stomach before hitting the pits.
My mind is brought back to the present by Lucy’s voice coming from the kitchen. “Go wash your hands. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
“That’s my cue. It was nice hanging out with you, Colt. Ask your momma to bring you down to the garage one day. You can help me work on the engines.”
“Weally?” Colt’s blue eyes light wi
th excitement as he hurries toward his mother. “Can I Momma?” Lucy gives me an exasperated look before smiling down at her son.
“We will see, but right now you need to get washed up for dinner. Then it’s off to the bath for you.”
“Aww…” Colt whines as he heads toward the back of the house.
“I’ll just let myself out. Hope you two have a good evening.”
“Aren’t you staying for dinner? You said you hadn’t eaten yet.”
I rub the back of my neck at a loss for words. “If you really don’t mind, I miss the taste of your cooking.”
Her cheeks pink in embarrassment. “It’s nothing to write home about but I remember how much you loved my mom’s spaghetti sauce. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to make any meatballs.”
“Trust me, anything you make is fine. It would have been eating takeout or a microwave dinner for me.”
We both laugh, a comfortable silence settling between us. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, but if you could make sure he isn’t flooding the bathroom, that would be great. He sometimes gets overzealous in his attempt to make all the germs go away.”
“No problem,” I respond before heading in the same direction Colt did a few minutes earlier. I can hear his little voice singing happy birthday come drifting down the hall. It only takes me a few minutes to find him in the bathroom, elbow deep in soapy water.
“Hey, buddy. Your mom sent me to see if I could help.” I pump some soap into my hands and scrub the grime off them.
“Your hands are dirty,” Colt comments as he removes his hands from the sink and reaches for a towel. “Good fing momma told you to wash hands before dinner. We all get sick.” He climbs down off his little stool and waits for me to finish.
He hands me his little towel to dry my hands. “Thanks, Colt.”