by AJ Alexander
“I’m not running, but the last thing Lucy needs is to deal with my bullshit. I love those two deeply. You call me if they ever need anything,” I choke out before reaching around her for the door. Thankfully, she steps out of the way as I open the door, closing it tightly behind me.
I walk to the end of the driveway and turn to take one final look at the place I wanted to call home someday. As I walk toward my rental house, I send up a silent prayer that someday Lucy will forgive me for leaving her, for not being there when she needed me the most.
Now all I can do is wait. The ball is in her court now.
Chapter Sixteen
Lucy
I hear the door shut quietly behind me as the weight of Tyler’s words bear down on me. Not in a million years would I have thought Tyler was in rehab. I mean yeah, we were partying hard during that time, but he seemed fine.
I sigh before turning to open the sliding glass door. I’m sure Rylee and Haddie are just waiting to hear about what happened. As soon as I get the door open, I’m bombarded with a million questions.
“Can you just give me a minute to process what happened?” I shout, stunning Rylee into silence. “I’m sorry, Ry. I didn’t mean to yell at you, but I just need a minute, okay?” I give her a pleading look before she nods her head.
“Haddie is playing with Colt in his room. Apparently, Tyler brought him a new racetrack, and he wanted to show it off.”
“Thanks, Ry. Did he tell you what happened?” I look around the room, and as expected I don’t see any signs of Tyler. Of course, he would drop a bombshell like that on me and then disappear.
“No, but based on the anguish and pain in his voice I know what happened. He told you, didn’t he?”
“Is this what you were keeping from me? The big secret that little old Lucy wouldn’t be able to handle.” I push past her and head toward the back of the house. My mind is still a mess from everything that has happened in the last few moments, but I need to focus on Colt.
To say I was shocked to hear him ask Tyler to be his dad is an understatement. The tenderness and love I saw in Tyler’s eyes as he tried to answer my son’s question was amazing.
“A penny for your thoughts?” My mind is brought back to the present by the sound of Haddie’s voice. She is sitting on the floor next to Colt. He has a huge smile on his face as he turns the little knob on the control in his hand, making the small race car go faster around the track.
“When I figure out what is going on in my head, I’ll let you know.” I have a seat on the opposite side of Colt and rub my fingers through his curly blond hair to get his attention. “What do you have there?”
“Tywer got it for me! Now I can make race cars go fast just like him.” He drops the controller onto the floor before throwing his tiny arms around my neck and giving me a big squeeze. “Where’s Tywer?” He pulls back and looks me in the eyes.
“He had to go home, but he said he will come back and hang out with you again another time.” I give him a fake smile; I don’t have the heart to tell him that Tyler won’t be coming back around again.
“Oh,” he whispers before his entire body deflates.
“How about I order that pizza I promised you? Rylee and I will stay with you tonight,” Haddie says as she pushes up off the floor to stand.
“A sleepover?” Colt asks, looking back and forth between Haddie and me, his smile growing with each pass. Haddie nods her head yes, and he squeals in delight. “Can we make a fort? Tywer said we would make one but he had to go home.”
Haddie rustles his blond curls. “Sure thing, ‘lil man. Anything you want, but you have to clean up your room and take a bath for momma, okay?”
“Otay!” he shouts as he cleans up his racetrack and putting it in his toy box.
“I will run you a bath while you finish cleaning up.” I place a kiss on the top of his head before following Haddie out of the room.
As soon as I step over the threshold, Haddie questions me about what happened. “I have no idea what went on when you went outside. Rylee just told me to take Colt to the back of the house and not come back out there ‘til you came to see us.”
“Colt asked Tyler to be his dad,” I say as I enter the bathroom and turn the warm water on. I watch the tub fill slowly before putting a few drops of bubble bath in it.
“I don’t know why everyone is so upset about that. I think it’s great that he is so taken with Tyler. It will be much easier for you to start dating this way.”
Haddie has no idea how much more complicated our situation is than that, but I’m the one who kept secrets from my friend. “Tyler is Colt’s dad,” I blurt out, ripping off the Band-Aid quickly hoping we can move on to something else.
The shock of my statement is written all over Haddie’s face, but she quickly composes herself before speaking. “Does he know?” I shake my head no as I shut the water off and wait for Colt to come barreling into the bathroom.
“Do you intend on telling him?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, which is the truth. Knowing why Tyler was away for so long doesn’t negate the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to call or even send word that things were okay. I had to grow up quickly, for different reasons, but it forced me to get my life together because of Colt.
“I’m disappointed in you, Lucy. No matter what that man has done in the past, anyone can see how much he cares for you and Colt. Not telling him he is the father of this amazing little boy is cruel.” Haddie spins on her heels and heads out of the bathroom door.
“I know,” I whisper after her. If Haddie is anything, she is honest. She doesn’t sugar coat what she is feeling or whether she thinks you’ve made poor decisions. Before today I was never on the opposite end of her judgement.
“What do you know, Momma?” Colt asks as he strips off his clothes and climbs into the bathtub.
“I know that I love you very much,” I smile at him before taking a seat next to the tub on the floor.
“And Tywer. You luv him too, right?” He asks as he plays with his bath toys.
“Wash first and then you can play.” I hand him a loofa with some soap on it and wait as he soaps up his arms and stomach. I turn around as he stands to wash the bottom half of his body.
“I’m all done,” he says as he splashes down back into the water.
I decide this is as good of a time as any to discuss his conversation with Tyler earlier. I know he must have a million questions that only I can answer. “I heard what you and Tyler were talking about before I came home.”
Colt immediately stops playing and turns toward the bathroom wall. “I trouble?”
“No, baby. You aren’t in trouble, but do you have any questions you want to ask me about what Tyler said.”
“No. Tyler luvs me and I luv him,” he responds matter-of-factly like that is the only information he needs.
“Okay, but if you have questions, you can ask me. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
He gives me a bright smile before he goes back to playing with his toys. I know I’m going to have to tell him about his father and why my family is so absent in our lives, but that can wait.
I pull down the detachable shower head and turn the water on, waiting for it to warm up. Once it is warm, I get Colt’s attention before spraying down his head so I can wash his hair.
“Did you and Tyler have fun today?” I ask as I scrub his hair clean before rinsing him once again.
“Yes! We played tag, and he owed my how to play aseball. He pushed me a lot on the swing.” His little face scrunches up as he thinks about everything they did during the day.
I pull the plug and wait patiently for him to finish his tale. “Oh! He romised we would ake a fort in the tree. He even said I coud help.”
“That’s great! But you know I can just buy you one, right?” I wrap him in a fuzzy towel and carry him to his bedroom. “Tyler has work to do for Colton. I’m not sure he will have too much time to come and build that for you.”
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As I place him down, he brings his tiny little hands to my cheeks. “He romised,” he says, straight faced and full of conviction. It’s sad that my son has more faith in Tyler than I do, but it’s hard to change at the drop of a hat.
“Okay. You get dressed while I change my clothes. I’m sure the pizza Haddie promised will be here soon.” I give him a smile before walking across the hall to my room.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, I slide down to the floor and let all the emotions I’ve been holding at bay loose. I sob for the pain I heard in Tyler’s voice before he left. I cry for the pain I have felt for the last four years after being abandoned by the one person I thought would be with me forever. But most of all I cry for my little boy who may have just lost the father he had no idea was his, and it’s all my fault.
“He’s finally asleep,” I say as I enter the living room and flop down on the couch next to Haddie.
“Thank heavens! I thought he would never go to sleep. Remind me to never give a child ice cream at seven o’clock at night.”
“We did tell you, but you decided you knew better than either of us. Lucy should have made you calm him down for bed,” Rylee chastises us from the armchair near the back door.
Pillows and blankets are spread out all over the living room from the fort we made after dinner. Plates of half-eaten pizza are on the entertainment center above the television.
“I don’t want to clean up,” I whine as I continue to look around the room.
“Fine, we can clean up later. Why don’t you tell us what the hell happened between you and Tyler earlier?”
I should have known these two would not let me get away with not discussing what happened. “You already know what happened, Ry. Hell you knew what happened before either of us did. So why don’t you tell me what happened?” I push up from my place on the couch and grab a blanket off the floor and fold it.
“Don’t blame this shit on me. Yes, I knew Tyler was in rehab when he left. I also know that he didn’t want anyone to say anything to you about what he was going through. He wanted you to have a chance at being happy.” Rylee rips the blanket out of my hands before continuing. “He was so worried about coming back here and ruining your life, he stayed away. He took the small tidbits of information you allowed Colton and I to share with him and cherished them.”
Tears stream down my face for the second time today over Tyler and his absence of the last four years. “Why didn’t he call or come home? Why did he leave me?”
“Why didn’t you call him or better yet, why does that man not know he had a son? Haddie asks from beside me as she leans down to grab a few pillows off the floor.
“He left me,” I respond stepping over the piles on the floor and heading out of the back door.
“So what? He left, but he told you he was going. He could have left you with nothing, not even a voicemail, but he took a few moments to think of you.”
Haddie steps out of the door and Rylee follows behind her, but I refuse to acknowledge them. I could have called, but after hoping for him to turn back up I got the message. He didn’t want anything to do with me.
Rylee wraps me in her arms as Haddie comes up behind me and places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “He loved you enough to walk away and not bring you down with him. Yes, he didn’t call or write, but why would he come back when he knew you were doing so much better without him?”
“I wasn’t better,” I whisper before laying my head on Rylee’s shoulder. “I was lost, afraid, and so alone.”
“How would he know how you felt if you never let any of us tell him? All he knew was you had moved on with your life. It seems he tried to make a new life for himself without you but found his way back to you all over again.” Rylee takes a step back, supporting my body at arm’s length.
“I’m scared,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around my center.
“Who isn’t scared of falling in love?” Haddie chimes in from beside me.
“Colton and I wouldn’t even be together now if I let my fear win. I had to fight for our life together from day one, but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it for the world.”
Rylee wraps Haddie and I both into a group hug. “The only person that can fill in the blanks of your story is you.”
As my friends and I look out into the night sky, a sense of peace settles over me. I may not agree with Tyler’s why, but I can agree that we both had the wrong idea.
We are so much stronger together than we ever will be apart. Just look at the awesome little boy we created together.
“I think it’s time for me to make a phone call.” I unravel myself from our group hug and turn to head inside.
“Fuck the phone call. Get your man, girl,” Rylee says before breaking out into a fit of laughter.
“We can hold down the fort here. Go have some fun and don’t rush home.” Haddie smirks at me before I head back inside.
I grab my keys and bag from the hook by the door and rush out of the door.
Chapter Seventeen
Tyler
“Stupid piece of shit,” I mumble into the empty garage as I lower the engine I’ve been working on into our test car, an Acura NSX retro fitted with a roll cage and all the bells and whistles.
“Need any help?” Colton chimes in from behind me.
“Yeah, get your ass on the other side of this thing and help me line it up.” I shake my head. It would have been smarter to wait until someone was here to help me. Dropping this beast into a car is not easy.
“Couldn’t you have chosen a better car to test this out on? Hell, I can have the guy drop it into one of my cars to test, no reason for you to go through all of this trouble.”
“The engine will slide right into place with no trouble, now that I have help,” I grunt as we slowly lower it into place, “Now all I need to do is connect it to the transmission and then continue connecting the dots. I should have this baby on the road in no time.”
“You are going through a lot of trouble for a backup engine?” Colton grabs a rag from the bench, wipes his hands and then throws the greasy rag at me. “I’m sure you have better things to do than hang around here at night.”
“Yeah, and so do you, but I’m sure Rylee called and told you what happened with Lucy earlier today.”
“Actually, Lucy did.” My head spins in his direction, waiting for him to continue with his story. “She called in a panic when you weren’t home. Apparently, she ran out of the house to come see you, but you weren’t there. Lucky for her you have no life, so if you weren’t at home, I knew you were here.”
“Thanks, asshole,” I grumble before grabbing the tools I need to put the engine back together.
“Didn’t you hear me? Lucy is waiting for you.”
“I heard you, but I have to finish this. You have a race coming up. I don’t want you to throw a rod during the race and not have a reliable back up.” I bend over the side of the car and get to work connecting the engine to the transmission. Once that is finished, I pop in new spark plugs and then grab the box of spark plug wires off the floor and connect them.
“That’s it? You have one minor disagreement and you will turn your back on her again?”
“I didn’t turn my back on her in the first place. You know I had no choice but to leave her, but I had a choice to not stay away for so long.” I stand up and look at my friend. Colton has everything he has ever wanted with Rylee. They have had their ups and downs but he always had her in his corner. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me all on my own.
“She has a better life now and a little boy to take care of. I should have stayed away.”
“You are dumber than I thought.” Colton walks over and leans against the car beside me. “You left to get your life together. It’s not like you left to go hang out on a tropical island somewhere.”
“I know that and now so does she, that’s the problem. I didn’t mean to tell her how I did, but it just came out. All she did was yell at me for leaving h
er, as if I had another choice.”
“How is knowing the truth ever a bad thing?” Colton walks around the car, bumping me with his shoulder. “Last time I checked, you being in rehab was the big elephant in the room.”
“It was until Colt asked me if I would be his dad. Everything has changed now. I didn’t realize it but I have fallen in love with that kid. I would do anything to have been his father, to be a man he could look up to when he grows up.”
“And you still can.” Colton pulls the wrench out of my hand and gives me a small shove toward the garage exit. “Stop worrying about all the reasons you aren’t good enough and remember the most important one.”
“And what is that?”
“That you love her, you ass. Now get the hell out of my garage and don’t come back without your girl. I’ll shoot her a text to let her know I sent you her way.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you have done for me over the years.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Colton gives me another shove toward the exit before shutting off the lights and heading toward the door.
“Shouldn’t we clean that up?”
“I’m the boss. I pay people for those things.” We both chuckle as we shut the door behind us. I’m a man on a mission. It’s time to finally prove to my girl I’m here to stay.
Colton taps the roof of my car as I step inside. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“That doesn’t leave much. Be safe,” I call out of the window as I pull out of the lot and head toward home. A million different scenarios run through my head as I drive home.
I have no idea why Lucy came to see me in the first place, but I’m sure it has to be important for her to leave Colt. Hopefully, we can talk things out and she and I can go on the date she promised me.
Quicker than expected, I’m pulling into my drive as I catch sight of Lucy sitting on the steps leading to my front door.