by Ford, Mia
I knew that this was going to be grief sex. It would be the kind that just worked out of his system and nothing more. I was selfish and wanted to be the one if only for tonight. Remy pushed me back to the bed, kissing my neck and murmuring that he needed me. I didn’t fight him, allowing him to strip me down and kiss down my body. His lips and hands were amazing, and I moaned as I arched my back, offering him more of my nipple.
Remy never said my name, and I figured that he’d remember none of this. It was best that way. We had too much history to take this any further. I gave him my body and a piece of my heart that night, crying out when he sheathed himself and slid inside of me. Remy was long and thick, stretching me wide as I clutched his shoulders. I would never forget that night and it vastly overshadowed my first time with a casual boyfriend a year ago.
Remy took me hard and fast as I cried out his name, so close to my second orgasm that I couldn’t stand it. I rocked with him, coming hard before he turned to his back. “Fuck me, baby. Make me forget this day.” His voice was soft and slurred as I looked down, taking in all his perfection. His hands wrapped around my hips as his eyes closed and I started moving up and down. He filled me as I moved, and his hands were tight around my body. There might be bruises but I rode him harder, feeling like his orgasm might release the demons in his heart. “Fuck,” Remy cried out as he drove himself inside of me, stilling as my third release washed over him. I collapsed beside him, overwhelmed with all of this as I closed my eyes. Every nerve ending in my body pulsed as I breathed in deeply.
I’d felt his hands on my body and his tongue gave me one of the best orgasms I’d had in my life. His cock added two more to that and I blinked for a moment as I gazed at him.
Remy was sleeping. He was breathing hard but asleep and I took a moment to take him in. I had sex before this once but wasn’t sure what to do now. Do I throw away the condom and let him assume that he took a cab here on his own? Would he even remember that I was with him past the bar?
I decided to clean him up and slipped the condom off, wrapping it up in a tissue before tossing it deep inside of the bathroom trash. We’d taken Remy’s car here, and I ordered an Uber to pick me up, deciding that I would tell his family that he needed some time alone. I was certain that Remy would never hurt himself, but I didn’t like seeing him drink every night for the next two weeks. Brinley thought he slept with a different girl every night. That hurt me more than I wanted to admit but I could never tell her why.
I came back to reality as I pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage. Remy parked beside us and I blushed as I opened the door, watching Brinley get out. The house was dark and quiet, and we made our way in as Remy got water for all of us. He told us to get some sleep, and I watched his ass as he walked towards the stairs, remembering how it felt to have it in my hands as I asked him to go harder and deeper.
I smiled at Brin and we followed him up the stairs and went into her spacious bedroom. It was the size of a studio apartment with a King-sized bed that we shared when we were here. Remy had a similar bedroom down the hall, but I had barely seen it. As much as I wanted to climb into his bed but that would never happen. She pulled on some shorts and a tank top before dropping against the pillows and passing out. I changed into yoga pants and a big t-shirt before slipping onto the balcony, breathing in the ocean air, and listening to the waves on the beach just behind Brinley’s house. It was paradise here.
I played back the night with Remy for what felt like the millionth time. I knew that Brinley was sleeping and sunk into the lounge chair with a sigh. I’d been using it for a memory since it happened, and I drew my knees to my chest slowly as I stared at the stars. I slipped my hand between my legs and over the lace finding it warm and damp. Seeing him tonight stoked a fire in me that I was certain would never die. I slipped my fingers under the material and circled my clit, remembering how his tongue felt against me. It was perfect. Within a few moments, I was coming, and I bit my lip to stay quiet as the release pulsed through me. Even as a fantasy, Remy gave me the best orgasms that I’d ever hard.
I closed my eyes and relaxed when I was finished, breathing slowly. The air felt great against my heated skin and I considered sleeping out here. It was safe and private, and I could wake up and go inside when the sun came up. I was on vacation after all.
I woke up when the sun was coming up and blinked slowly. It was colder now, and I stood to go inside and get into bed, hoping for some more sleep before we went shopping. Melinda woke us up at nine, asking if we were up to this as she peered into the bedroom. Brinley mumbled back at her and I smiled at the woman apologetically. She told us that she would be ready in an hour and I shook my best friend.
We managed to shower and leave in time. Brinley skipped makeup and wore dark glasses while I looked like my usual natural self. Makeup was for special occasions. We started the day with coffee and then hit the shops. Melinda and Brinley adored shopping while I tolerated it. My mother was the kind of woman to get it all done when needed as opposed to making several trips to the mall. I looked at some clothes as they caught up, still stuck on the memory of Remy.
Over lunch, I drank some water and enjoyed a fresh salad. Melinda had looked at me a few times over the course of the day with a worried expression, but I smiled at the table. She knew we went out and might be tired, so I’d pass it off as that.
It had nothing to do with living in the same house as Remy for a month if not more. Nothing at all.
We got home in the afternoon and Melinda started something in her Instant pot for dinner. She swore by that and told us that she’d buy us one when we got our own place. I went up to Brinley’s room and dropped my bags on the floor as I yawned. There had been no sight of Remy all day, but his car was here. I assumed that he was sleeping or resting. I knew that we had a couple of hours before dinner and dropped to the bed for a little nap.
Brinley joined me, and we slept curled up beside each other for a little while. It felt so good to have the time to just relax after so many late nights studying for tests. I earned my high grades at college and it would help me with a job down the line. I just wasn’t interested in that now and my parents left behind a generous inheritance to take care of me. I’d rather have them than their money, but I couldn’t change anything.
We got up for dinner and I took in the sight of Remy in his board shorts that hung low on his hips. He wore nothing else as he watched something on TV and I almost stopped breathing. Brinley strolled by, so we could help with dinner and I followed, staring straight ahead. We plated the chicken and rice and took everything to the dining room table, telling the guys that the food was ready.
Brinley talked about our informal plans over the next several weeks as we ate, and I let her drone on. I was good at that and I ate slowly as Melinda smiled at me. Remy seemed lost in thought and I met his eyes a few times over the meal as he shook his head at me. Remy always said that Brinley talked too much and sometimes he was right.
After dinner, she got a call about a party at a friend’s beach house. She told me about it and I said that I’d rather stay in tonight. She could sleep there if she couldn’t drive home. Brinley asked me if I was sure and I smiled and nodded. I was more of a once a month party girl and she had plenty of friends here.
She showered and dressed, hugging me before she left. I loved Brinley and kissed her cheek before she walked out of the door. I wore a pair of leggings and a t-shirt to fall asleep in later and walked out to the back deck to look over the water. It was just a few steps down to the private beach and I looked around at the blue sky and wispy clouds.
I headed down in my sandals and stood at the edge of the sand for a moment. San Francisco had nothing on this place. I slipped my shoes off and walked towards the waves slowly, letting the peace of the ocean take me over. I’d spend some time out here tonight and then read a book upstairs until I fell asleep. That was a perfect night.
I wandered through the waves as I lost myself in everything aroun
d me. My parents loved the ocean, and I always felt closer to them on the beach. We loved each other and knew it when they died. I never doubted that but regretted that I didn’t return Mom’s call that afternoon. I was busy with Brinley and planned to do it later but instead, I got a call from the police.
I moved into her house after that. Her mom handled the sale of the house and helped me with the inheritance while I recovered from my loss. I’d never forgetten it. I looked forward at the long stretch of sand and breathed in the ocean air. Something made me turn around, and I noticed Remy standing on the deck looking in my direction.
There were times that he looked at me that made me wonder if he remembered our night together. His gorgeous blue eyes could get so intense but then he’d look away from me. I didn’t want him to remember even as I longed to sleep with him again. I stared for a moment and then turned to look at the beautiful sunset as the sun dropped behind the horizon. When it was dark, I headed back to the house and smiled at Melinda as I walked in. “Are you okay, sweetie?” Her voice was soft, and I nodded.
“I am just relaxed for a change. It feels great.” I dropped onto the couch and leaned back as she found a movie on the flat screen.
“That’s what this time is for. You have plenty of money to tide you over until you decide what to do. They made sure of that.” She patted my hand, and I smiled as I thought back to all she did for me.
“I need to do something with my degree.” I watched the movie for a moment and glanced towards the stairs as I heard footsteps. Remy walked down in the same shorts, staring at his phone.
“Are you staying in?” Melinda asked him as he looked up in surprise, his eyes resting on me.
“Yeah. I’m still tired from the drive,” he told her as I raised a brow. He was as into going out as Brinley was on a normal night. Something got him down and possibly made him come back here. He wandered into the kitchen and sat down to send a message after getting some water. I shared a look with Melinda and she smiled as she shrugged. I watched part of the movie before excusing myself to go upstairs. I propped myself up on the pillows with the windows open, pulling up my newest book on the kindle.
I woke up later in the dark as Brinley bumped around the room. “Hey. Were you okay to drive home?”
“Yeah. It was mellow.” She replied as she disappeared into the bathroom to change. I slipped under the covers and placed the Kindle on the table as Brinley joined me. We talked a bit about the party and fell asleep.
I woke up before Brinley and got up to use the bathroom, pulling on a loose sweatshirt to go down and make some coffee. The house was quiet, and I assumed that Brad was at work. I used their single cup maker and turned to go outside to drink it, pausing when I saw Remy stretched out on one of the lounges. I considered staying inside, but it was too gorgeous out.
Sliding open the door, I took a closer look. I could see that he’d gone for a run on the beach and was just resting with a bottle of water in his hands. His t-shirt was damp with sweat and I took in the curves and planes of his amazing chest. Remy glanced up, smiling weakly when he saw me. “Want coffee?” I asked, holding out my cup. He shook his head, and I took a seat in the lounge beside him, staring over the beach. We were both quiet for a while and I shifted in my seat. “Are you doing okay?” I asked him softly, stealing a look in his direction.
“I just came here under messier circumstances than planned.” He responded as I nodded. I understood that life worked that way. “I need to put it all behind me and move forward… get a job. That will ground me.” Last I heard, he had a great job in Seattle. I chose not to ask and nodded.
“You have options between working for a firm or for yourself.” I offered as he took a long drink of water.
“I do.” I felt something on my arm and looked over to see him touching me gently. “How are you holding up?”
“With what?” I asked as I looked into his eyes. They looked tired.
“A lot has happened to you over the years. I would imagine that graduating without them there hurt.” His voice was husky and low, and I forced myself to lie still.
“It did. I miss them so much, but I accepted what happened back then. I know they’re here with me on some level. Your family has been great about trying to be there for me.” I felt him stroking me and considered curling towards him for more of his touch.
“You’ve been there for all of us, Celia.” I smiled and stared forward, not reading into his words too much. “You’re one of the best people I know.”
“I don’t know about that,” I argued lightly as I remembered my moving right past the night that I slept with him.
“I do. You’ve always given me a sense of comfort. It’s like you are wise beyond your years.” He fell silent. “I don’t remember a lot of what went down after Jessie died but I do know that you helped me.” I froze as I wondered how much he remembered.
“You needed it. You helped me so much through my parents’ accident and I wanted to return the favor. We lost a lot quickly to tragedy.” I assured him, wondering if it wasn’t grief sex for me as well. I certainly worked out some emotions that night.
“I don’t think that I gave to you what you selflessly gave to me,” Remy spoke in a low voice and I stilled completely. “I was drunk, Celia. I know that, but I have flashes of us in my head. I hear you sometimes in my dreams.” I blushed and sipped my coffee with shaking hands. “I’ve thought about it a lot over the years.”
“It was just a bad night for you,” I told him as he pulled his hand away. “Maybe I needed it as well. My mom only died a few months earlier.”
“Maybe. I just didn’t see you as the type to do something so intimate just to make someone feel better,” he said as I took a long, slow breath. I’d never do that for just anyone. I wanted Remy since my hormones kicked in and the door was open.
“I wouldn’t for someone casual. But we know each other well and I think we were there for each other. It worked out good at the time.” I hated talking about this and felt his eyes on me.
“Do you ever think about it happening again?” Remy asked as I started to look in his direction, terrified of what I might see.
“Good morning.” I jumped as Melinda greeted us. “I’m sorry. Were you sleeping?”
“Just talking, Mom. Enjoying the morning.” Remy replied in a clipped tone as I winced.
“Mind if I get some coffee and join you?” She asked, and we told her to go ahead.
When she was inside, I felt his touch on my arm. “This isn’t over, Celia. We’re going to talk about it next time we’re alone.” I remained quiet and Melinda came outside to sit at the table. She flipped through the paper as she drank her coffee, letting us sit in an uncomfortable silence. I wasn’t sure if Remy just wanted closure on the night or to sleep together again. I made small talk with Melinda once she was done with her reading, laughing in the right places.
We went in to make breakfast once Brinley woke up, allowing me to avoid Remy for the rest of the day. I went to a movie with Brin that night and we hit up our favorite coffee shop afterward. It was late when we arrived home and walked upstairs. I could see the light on in his room and struggled not to go knock on the door.
I made it to her room and into her bed. Sleep took some time to come to me as I played back the morning over and over. His words had left me curious and aroused. At one point when Brinley was sleeping, I went outside and tried to get myself off to relieve some pressure. After I was done, I headed downstairs for water and carried it back up, stunned when Remy opened his door. I paused and stared at him, watching as he reached out to pull me inside. “What are you doing?” I whispered as he closed his door.
“We’re going to talk,” he replied as I frowned.
“Haven’t you slept yet?” I asked as he took my hand and lifted it to his nose. Shit. I didn’t wash my hands after I was done masturbating, not thinking that someone might be awake.
“No. Have you?” He inhaled deeply, and I watched as his tongue slipp
ed out to taste my skin. “Is this from our previous discussion, Celia?”
“I don’t think we should talk about that,” I said as he slipped a finger into his mouth, sucking my juices off. I was too weak to move, but I knew that this was dangerous.
Chapter Four
Remy
Celia looked at me with wide eyes as I sucked her sweet nectar from her finger. She was touching herself at some point tonight and I knew it was because of this morning. Fuck if I didn’t jerk off to the spotty memories that I had from the night. I wanted to drag her to the bed and slip off her shorts to taste her myself.
“I think we should talk about it,” I replied slowly to her earlier protest.
“Remy, you were grieving and drunk. I was just there for you to work that out, nothing else. It could have been any woman.” Celia told me as I barked out a low laugh.
“I’d never be vulnerable like that with just any woman. I needed someone I trusted, someone that got me.” I hissed as I reached out and pulled her against me.
“You slept with several women after that. You moved on just fine.” She said in a shaky voice as I dropped my forehead against hers. She was right, but I had to explain myself.
“I did. I hadn’t remembered our night yet, Celia. I felt like an asshole when I did.” I confessed as I reached out to cup her face.
“When was that?” She asked as I frowned.
“Two years later. I dreamed about it and put the pieces together, realizing it actually happened.” Understanding crossed her face as her eyes widened. Celia struggled against me and tried to pull away.
“We can’t…” she murmured before I kissed her. It was all still there: the electricity and the magnetic attraction between us. She moaned in protest for a moment, but I held her tight, knowing that she wouldn’t get away. Soon enough, I wouldn’t need to hold so tight. She gave in before and she would again.
In a moment or two, Celia melted against me. I felt her arms slip around my neck and slipped my arm around her tightly. It was true that I was drunk and grieving the time before with Celia, but I’d been attracted to her for a couple of years by then. I knew she was eighteen deep down even though I started jerking off to her before that. The moment she started growing up, I was a goner. I considered myself lucky that I got her at all.