by Ford, Mia
“Yeah,” I replied. My mind was blank from the sight of her.
“Good luck.” She moved to walk in front of me and I watched her for a second before I jogged after her.
Mom was reading on the couch and stood up. “You look fantastic, Remy. You’re a shoe-in for this job.” She came to hug me, kissing my cheek as I smiled.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said as she smiled up at me. She wasn’t as vocal as Brinley about her disapproval of my lifestyle, but I could see it in her eyes. “It’s going to be good.” She didn’t know the details about the fight in Seattle with my former boss or my fear that he may have blacklisted me in the industry. I also never expected to walk in on him balls deep inside of my girlfriend.
“I’ll make dinner, so we can celebrate.” She smiled, and I nodded before heading to the door. I heard laughter through the screen leading to the deck but chose not to look over. Celia was too distracting for me and the words of my fight with my sister were still fresh in my mind. I got into my car and started the engine, taking a deep breath.
I made my way to the office centered in the city, parking in the garage and slipping my ticket into my interior pocket. I walked to the sidewalk and looked to the right before heading towards the glass building. I missed Seattle sometimes and the way I could walk along the water when I needed to think. San Diego was beautiful, but it reminded me of the days that I’d raise hell with Jessie. I blinked and headed across the courtyard and inside. I walked to the bank of elevators and pushed the button for the sixth floor, breathing in softly.
I stepped from the car and walked towards the large reception desk where two women sat manning phones and computers. They were as flawless as the marble floors and spotless windows and I looked down at the blonde. “Good morning. I have an interview with Mr. Stanley at ten.”
She searched the screen of her jumbo monitor and nodded. “Remington Parker.”
“That’s me,” I said as she shot me a fleeting appreciative look.
“His office is to the end of this hallway.” She pointed right, and I glanced over to see that it curved. “He has an assistant seated outside and she’ll let him know that you’re here.”
“Thank you,” I told her before I moved towards my future. I saw a redhead sitting at a similar desk and she glanced at me with a small smile.
“You must be Remington.” She told me with a bright smile.
“I am.” The woman introduced herself as Heather and told me that she would alert Rick that I was there. She offered me something to drink before she called him, and I shook my head, thanking her. It was clear that she would be up for lunch after this interview, but I wasn’t interested. I was still dealing with the aftermath of the other night. I walked to a small couch and sat down, waiting for the go ahead to walk into the apparently large office.
Heather told me to go on in and I stood, pressing my hands down my jacket before I stepped inside. The office was spacious and offered an amazing view of the city and far away ocean. I looked at the older man with graying brown cropped hair, walking over to shake his hand. “Mr. Parker. It’s good to meet you.” He looked into my eyes with a smile and gestured for me to sit down. I took a seat in one of the comfortable chairs across from his desk and he settled into his huge chair. He glanced down at the paper in front of me that I assumed was my resume and cleared his throat.
The question came up about Ian and I wondered how to answer for a moment before saying that we had a difference of opinion and I decided to move here earlier. I was coming back at some point as it was. Rick nodded, and we moved on to my experience and passion for my job. I left with a good feeling and a promise that I’d hear from him soon along with another firm handshake.
I headed back to the street and looked back and forth for a moment. I was here and might as well grab lunch. I slipped my jacket off and folded it over my arm, decided to go to a little Italian place on the corner.
I was aware of the women that looked at me as I passed them, but I didn’t acknowledge it. I was stuck on the two kisses that I’d shared with Celia and the way she made me feel inside. I needed to get past that, but I knew kissing someone else wasn’t the answer. I walked into the heavy door and asked for a table for one as the woman raised a brow at me.
I was seated and asked for a beer as I looked over the menu. I ordered the lasagna and pulled out my phone to read the notifications on the screen. There were a few emails about possible freelance work and I starred them as I sipped my beer. Mom sent a text asking about the interview and I smiled as I responded and told her that it went well. I just wished that I could talk to her about Celia and my growing feelings for her.
I ate lunch slowly and considered my options if the job fell through. There were other firms in San Diego as well as LA and even the bay area. There was nothing holding me here except some stupid invisible bond to memories. I could do anything I wanted and was free to move anywhere.
I finished what I could on the plate and pushed it away. I left a bill on the table and walked outside, heading to my car. I drove to a beach that was smaller and lesser known, one that I hung out with Jessie a lot. We partied plenty but also liked down time where we could just talk and bounce ideas around. I parked all the way to the right and stared through the windshield for several minutes.
He knew about my crush on Celia and teased me often about it. Jessie was the only one, and he took it to the grave the night he was speeding on the highway and crashed into a rock, sending him over the edge of the cliff into the water. He was such an asshole for leaving me that way. I sighed and leaned back, feeling the exhaustion from the last month getting the best of me. If I closed my eyes for just a minute, it wouldn’t hurt anything.
I came to later, noticing that the sun had moved a lot in the sky. I fell asleep? I glanced around and clicked on the car to see the clock. It was three hours later, and I blinked. I checked my phone for messages and set it down when I just saw a couple of texts. It was nothing about the job.
I noticed movement to my left and frowned when I saw a familiar red car. Celia? She parked in the first makeshift spot and leaned back, seemingly deep in thought. When did she learn about this beach?
I watched her for a while and Celia finally looked over at me. Her eyes widened in surprise and I grinned as I shrugged. She got out and walked over to me with a large sweater wrapped around her small body, and I watched as she slid into the passenger seat. “You know about this place?” I asked once she closed the door.
“I found it on a drive in high school and it became my thinking spot away from the beach behind your house. It’s small and remote and that is the kind I prefer.” She shrugged, and I smiled. Celia liked it for the same reasons that we did. “How did you find it?”
“Jessie and I found it one afternoon, and we came here for the same reason. I still do when he’s heavy on my mind. It’s like I can feel him here or something.” I looked forward, and she sat silently beside me.
“I feel my parents at every beach but mostly the one by your house. We spent a lot of time there for dinners and just summer days. They loved it and were getting ready to look into buying one of the homes once Dad retired.” I gazed at her, never knowing this before. “It didn’t happen. I suppose I could have done it myself but living in a big house all alone was depressing, no matter how gorgeous it was.”
“I understand,” I told her as I looked at her profile. She was beautiful, and I reached out and took her hand. Celia looked at me with a frown, but I saw the need in her eyes. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
“Not with you,” she replied as she looked back through the windshield.
“Why? Weren’t we good together?” I asked as she smirked.
“You were drunk and grieving, and I was still spinning over my parent’s loss. It was a great adult way of releasing our demons and yes… it was great. I’ll always remember it.” I watched as she smiled. “It wasn’t more than that and we have moved on.”
“You’ve felt that way w
ith another man?” I demanded as she blushed.
“No. I’ve barely been with anyone else but I’m not that kind of girl.” She replied as she shot me a dark look. “I think you find comfort in women in general, not me. I know how you’ve been through school, Remy. I was there.”
“I don’t. I try to, but I felt at peace with you that night when I fell asleep. I hated waking up alone.” She pressed her lips together and sadness crossed her face.
“I did too, but I never went to sleep. I destroyed the evidence and left that night.” My face fell as I thought back to how many women wanted to stay the night with me. The one that I needed walked away the moment I was asleep.
“I see.” Celia opened her door and returned to her car, starting the engine, and backing out of her spot. I watched her, feeling the pain of being alone in the morning the same way I did then. I just didn’t know why and contributed it to the loss of my best friend. Knowing the truth hurt worse.
I pulled out and headed home, knowing that Mom would want me there. She was cooking dinner and wanted good news. I parked in the garage and sat for a moment before grabbing my jacket and walking into the kitchen. Mom was standing at the stove stirring something and I recognized it as her famous Chicken Marsala. “There you are. I thought they might have hired you on the spot.”
“No, but I’ll hear something soon,” I promised her as I excused myself to change. I looked down the hall as I pushed through my door, not hearing the girls. I changed into workout shorts and a t-shirt to cover the scratches, heading back down. I told Mom about the interview, skipping the part about my old job and it made her smile. Dad came home just before dinner and Brinley and Celia showed up from a quick trip to the store just as we were getting ready to sit down.
“There you are.” Mom told them in a disapproving tone as Brinley flushed.
“Sorry. There was a sale.” She murmured as Celia shot her a look. She avoided my eyes like the plague and took her seat as Brinley set the bags down on the couch.
“I don’t ask you to be here for dinner every night, Brin. This is a special occasion.” Mom reminded her as Brinley shot me a curious glance.
“Did you get the job?” Her words bit into me as I sipped my water.
“No, but the interview went well. I expect to hear something soon.” I smiled as she smirked at me, my eyes moving towards her best friend. Celia was staring at her plate, pushing food around as everyone talked around her. I wondered what I could change about earlier for both of our sakes, but it was already done. I focused on the meal, eating it so Mom wouldn’t know that something was up. I needed to fake it right now and pretend to be happy about the job.
When dinner was finished, I saw the cake that Mom sent the girls out to get. I thanked her, telling her that nothing was final yet. It was my favorite flavor-Boston creme-and I knew that she was trying to cheer me up. I enjoyed a slice and excused myself to take a walk on the beach.
If I got the job, I would stay here. I could live at the house until I found the right apartment and then start over in a sense. If I was turned down for the job, I could look elsewhere and have a fresh start in another city. It might work out better than it did in Seattle, right? I looked down the long expanse of beach and sighed, knowing that San Diego felt like home to me. It felt like home to both Celia and me. I kept walking, feeling the food in my stomach like a knot. I needed to get over this shit, but the usual tricks wouldn’t work. Sleeping with one girl after the other stopped being a fix once I remembered the night with Celia. As much as I tried to deny it and continue to make mistakes, it didn’t heal any of the wounds.
Even settling down in Seattle never felt right to me. Since I was working a great job and had a life starting, I figured that a girlfriend would make it all better. She fucked with my head and I never even loved her, never considered bringing her home.
The girl I wanted was already here, but I screwed that up. It was unintentional and due to the fact that she knew me so well, but I messed it up. I needed to start with someone new.
I was in the final decision mode when I turned to look behind me, seeing Celia waiting at the other end of the beach. Her dress blew around her legs as she stared at me and I raised a brow. I couldn’t see her face. What was she doing? Someone called her name, and I saw my sister on the deck, waving her hand. Celia looked at her, back at me and then ran for the stairs as Brinley said something to her.
By the time I got home, the girls were gone. Mom said that someone called about something and they left, asking me if I wanted to watch a movie with her. I settled on the couch, sipping water. “Are you okay, Remy? You’ve seemed down since you got home. Did something happen in Seattle?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing to worry about,” I replied, meeting her eyes with a smile. “People aren’t always what they say they are.”
“That’s true.” She nodded and sipped her glass of wine gently. “You’ll be okay. You’re a good man, Remington.”
“Brin doesn’t think so,” I mumbled as Mom seemed to consider that.
“She’s your younger sister, Rem. That’s to be expected but I think she also sees herself in you. You have some of the same habits.” Mom was careful with her words, but I heard what she was saying. I just didn’t want to think of Brinley that way.
“That’s gross, Mom,” I told her as she laughed a little.
“For the record, I worry about both of you. With the things you’ve been through and her rebellious nature, I am awake a lot at night. Even Celia keeps me awake when I realize how lost she looks. She hasn’t followed in Brin’s footsteps too much, but I think she’s trying to find herself.”
I wanted to tell Mom that Celia did find herself in bed with me, letting go in ways I’d never seen her do. I held back. “She just graduated. She’ll be fine. She has options to choose from.”
“She’d rather have her parents than that money. I try to give her what she’s missing but I don’t think I do sometimes.” Mom shook her head sadly.
“Just be there for her. She was amazing at school and those grades will reflect later. She’s not a screw-up and wants to get somewhere in life.” I admired that about Celia. Even with her loss, she fought for what she has. I did decent in school, along with my sister but neither of us were like Celia. She was an anomaly in some ways.
“I want that to steer her. I’ll just be there when I can.” Mom looked at the screen at the movie that was beginning, seeming to be done talking for the night. I dropped my head back and tried to watch it, but my eyes started to droop.
I woke up later in the dark with a blanket draped over me. I heard voices and blinked as someone appeared in the dim light of the kitchen. My sister’s voice came from upstairs and I turned my head to see Celia getting some water and the short skirt that she was wearing made me sit up straight. She turned to see me awake and kicked off the heels, walking barefoot towards me. “Where did you go dressed like that?” I demanded as she paused.
“I went to a party. Stop trying to act like my father.” She barked at me before her hand went to her mouth. I stood and caught her as the tears started, guiding her to the couch. “It still hurts to say that.” Celia sniffled as I smiled and stroked her soft hair back. I knew how close they were when he was still alive.
“I know, baby,” I whispered as I closed my eyes, thinking about Jessie.
“I went out with Brin and dressed the way the guys would like. I thought that I could kiss one, and he’d magically sweep me off my feet. I thought that I could date like normal people.”
Dread filled my heart as I licked my lips. “And what happened?”
“I did it, but it didn’t feel right. He tried to get me into a room and I fought him.” I pulled her closer and let the rage fill me slowly.
“Are you okay?” I asked gently, keeping my hold on her light.
“I’m fine. I went outside and hid until Brin wanted to come home.” Celia told me as I relaxed. “Why doesn’t anyone feel like you, Rem? I just want to feel the w
ay I do when you kiss me.”
“I feel the same way.” I breathed as we moved closer on the couch. I stared into her eyes as she sniffled. I wiped at her eyes and she tried to smile. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” She whispered as I licked my lips slowly. I looked up the steps to see that they were dark and flicked the TV off to put us in even more darkness. I moved my mouth against hers gently as she gasped, loving the heat that passed between us. Celia slipped an arm around my neck and pressed closer to me, her lips parting for mine. I tilted my head to deepen it and she moved over my lap. I felt her heat over my shorts and resisted the urge to reach down and cup that perfect ass. “Remy,” she murmured as she rocked against my swelling cock.
“We need to take this to my room,” I told her, knowing that I was going to have a hard time stopping.
“Outside,” she told me as I helped her get up before doing the same. I looked around again before we went out to the dark deck, closing the screen behind us. I hoped that someone would realize we were out there and not lock us out. In a way, I wouldn’t mind. She led me down the steps and to some rocks as I followed her with a smile on my face. Celia turned to look at me in the moonlight as she sat down on a high, flat rock. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Me neither,” I replied as I stepped towards her. I cupped her face, still leaning down to kiss her as she whimpered against me. Our mouths parted, and tongues danced together as I pressed between her thighs and slid one hand down her neck. When we broke for air, I had her tugged completely against me and our kiss was ravenous. I pressed a soft kiss to her lips as she stared at me, not sure what I should do now. This was different from the night I slept with her. I wasn’t anywhere near drunk and not grieving as much. We were both lucid and aware of everything that was happening.
I wanted a lot more than just tonight.
“Celia… where do you want this to go?” I whispered as she blinked at me. “I have been attracted to you for a long time, but I respect your doubts. I feel them.”