by Ford, Mia
Fuck.
“I had lunch plans, and they fell through. Want to grab something with me?” Amy pressed her full chest forward, and I noticed the buttons that opened to reveal her generous cleavage.
“I’m sure you can find something on your own. I was planning to work through lunch.” I informed her in a clipped tone as she dropped back against the seat.
“I just wanted to talk a little bit. We haven’t had the chance.” Her voice was soft, and I ran a hand through my hair. “I miss you, Rem.”
“Amy, you need to stop this. We are done and we're not back in Seattle. It is on you, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended on our own. We weren’t the best couple.” I reminded her as she pressed her lips together.
“We were good in bed,” she offered as I closed my eyes. She was right. We were good there, but it was all lust and on the surface. I got into a relationship with her, but it wasn’t because I was in love with her. I never used those words with her and just got caught up in the comfort of something familiar.
“That wasn’t enough to make you stay faithful, was it?” I shot out as she flushed.
“It was an accident with him. We were drinking after a long day at the office and it just happened. I could tell that you were growing distant with me and just kept doing it. I wanted to feel needed.” Amy stood and closed the door.
“You got your wish. I was focused on building a good business, Amy. I didn’t expect to get fucked over in the process and assumed you’d understand my focus.” I felt anger rising inside and wondered if this was the fight that never happened. “You were in school for the same thing.”
“I know I was. Things got so messy, Remy. I knew after you left that I loved you. I regret everything.” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed heavily. “There're things you didn’t know because at the time it didn’t matter. I had a miscarriage a month after you moved and two weeks after he died. I was alone through that.”
“Who was the father?” I asked as she stared at the ceiling with a shrug.
“I was on birth control as you know. I was just under eight weeks along, so it could have been either of you.” She said softly as her eyes closed. “When I lost the baby, I just kept it to myself. There was no one to tell in Seattle and you couldn’t change anything.”
“I still can’t. What do you want me to say, Amy?” I demanded as she looked at me with watering eyes.
“I want to hear that you’re sorry. I didn’t want to lose my baby, Rem. It was the only piece of you I had left.” She dropped to the couch and crossed her toned legs as I looked away.
“If it was mine,” I reminded her as she rested her head in her hands. “I can’t change anything that happened, Amy. It’s over. We need to focus on what we have now in our lives and I don’t know about you, but mine is pretty fucking full right now.”
She jerked back, staring at me with wide eyes. “Remy. Don’t be like this.”
“I don’t want you back,” I told her as she stood to walk towards me. I watched as she unbuttoned her shirt and opened her bra, cupping her breasts once she was bare. “Get the fuck out of here, Amy. I don’t miss anything that we had.”
She smiled as she stroked her hard nipples and I looked down. “I know you remember fucking these.”
“I moved on. Maybe you should do the same.” There was a knock at the door and Amy pulled her shirt closed, rushing into my bathroom as Rick called out my name. “Come in!” I called out as the bathroom door clicked shut.
“Hey. Have you seen Amy? I was going to see if she wanted to grab lunch. I assume that you’re staying in?” He asked as I nodded. “I need some fresh air and one of Tony’s sandwiches. Want something?”
I heard the door open and gestured to the bathroom. “Amy’s in there. We were going over something, but I think she wanted to grab lunch.” Amy walked with her clothes straight and buttoned completely, running a hand through her hair.
“Want to grab a sandwich?” Rick asked her as she forced a smile to her face.
“Sure. Let me grab my purse.” Amy left the office with a hard stare my way and Rick followed her as I let out a long sigh. What the fuck was that? If she wanted to play this that way, she’d be fired and looking for something else. She walked by with Rick a few moments later, talking closely as I watched her work her charm on him. I was an asshole for thinking that this could work. She had an agenda from the beginning.
I ordered some Italian and relaxed for a moment as I waited. I called Celia to hear her voice, and she sounded happy to hear from me. I went to sleep with her in my arms last night after fucking her hard and good. It was her nipples and pussy that I dreamed about no matter the past I had with Amy. We chatted through lunch and I promised her I’d be leaving by five tonight.
I worked and went home and that became my life. Amy still flirted with me when she got me alone and my threats to fire her became more vicious. I knew that she was sleeping with Rick based on the dazed look on his face and the way he looked at her. Stupid move on his part. I assumed that he’d figure out who she really was and end the job himself. I just worked and went home to Celia, turning Amy away when she hit on me.
It wasn’t ideal. I thought that she’d keep it at work or stop once she was with Rick. I knew they did it in his office some days and the office were starting to talk, taking away all attention from myself. She seemed to lose interest in me and I allowed it to happen without repercussions for her former actions.
I was at home one weekend three months after she stripped in my office, sitting on the beach with Celia. We were spending time in the sun and headed in to go to dinner that night, planning to look at houses for sale. I jumped into the shower and rinsed off the sand quickly, so she could take her turn. Celia was submitting something to a client, and she was standing by the bed when I left the shower with a towel wrapped around my waist. I glanced over as she slowly turned with a broken expression on her face. “Rem?” She asked as I noticed she had my phone in her hand.
“What?” I asked as I stepped forward, draping the towel I was using on my hair over my shoulder. I eased it from her hand, seeing a pair of familiar tits on the screen. “Fucking hell.” I grumbled, throwing it down and turning to Celia.
“Who is that?” She asked in a hollow voice as I pulled her against me.
“Amy has my number, Celia. There is nothing between us though. She’s with Rick now and I think she probably meant to send this to him.” I wanted that to be true as I stared into her face, seeing insecurity flooding her eyes.
“Are you sure?” She asked, and I cupped her face to kiss her. I hadn’t been honest with her about the way Amy was acting and I sensed it was going to kick me in the ass right now.
“I am. I’ll let her know.” I said before kissing her again and whispering that I loved her. I told her to take her shower, so we could go out, offering to join her to prove my love as I winked. I knew how to lay on the charm as well.
“I’ll be out soon.” I saw the tears forming and held her hand as she tried to pull away. “I need a minute, Remington.” I noted the formal use of my name and let her go, watching the door close before I sat on the bed. I breathed in and reached for my phone, sending a message back to Amy. I told her that she probably sent that picture to the wrong phone and that she should watch it. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
A: I knew who I was sending it to.
R: Are you drunk? I don’t want anything like that to do with you.
I deleted the photo the second I had my phone again, rage flooding my veins.
A: I am but I might do it sober.
R: Don’t ever text me again. We can discuss work at the office, but I am deleting everything about you from my phone.
I did just that, blocking her for good measure. When the shower finally shut off and Celia opened the door, I had my phone on the counter and smiled at her. “Just as I thought. She’s drunk.”
“Okay,” she told me softly as I stood and pulled he
r against me.
“You are the only woman for me, Celia. Ever.” I found her lips as I looked to make sure the door was locked, tasting the mint as I deepened it. I wasn’t familiar with fixing things with a woman, but I knew that sex changed a lot. Celia moaned against me and I slipped the towel down before dropping to my knees. I pressed my mouth to her pussy and licked gently as she slid her hands into my wet hair. Teasing her, I pressed her down to the bed and spread her thighs before sucking her into my mouth. Celia bit her lip and dropped her head back as I worked her into a hard release, needing one of my own. I pushed her back further, teasing her sensitive nub before sliding inside. “Love you.” I stared at her as I fucked her, seeing her eyes flit open briefly.
“I love you,” she breathed as she rocked against me, needing it deeper. I moved harder as she moaned softly, trying to stay quiet. We both came together, and I held in the groan as I pressed myself into her neck. “Remy. Oh, God.”
I dropped to my side, arm wrapped around her as we recovered. “I know I’ll be hungry now.”
“I think I will, too.” She stared at me for a moment as love filled her eyes. “I hate that you work with your ex.”
“I do at times myself. She’s Rick’s problem now just like she was Ian’s before. I am just where I need to be.” I kissed her nose gently, and she laughed softly. We stood and dressed for dinner, deciding on a casual pizza place as she slipped on a loose sundress. I pulled on shorts and a t-shirt and we both grabbed our sandals before going downstairs.
Mom and Dad weren’t home, and we smiled at each other as I walked her to my car. I’d been trying to get her to buy something new for herself, but she argued with me. It ran just fine. I knew that there was a certain sentimental value to it, but I wanted her safe when she was driving. I also knew that she wasn’t willing to dip into her inheritance unless absolutely needed. “Drop it for tonight.”
“Fine. I am going to wear you down.” I told her as she laughed. She was carefree again, and I was happy, hoping that I got through to Amy. I wanted her to ease off and focus on my boss, who seemed crazy about her.
We went inside of the restaurant and got a booth in the back, ordering sodas and looking at the menu. Celia told me about some of her clients and I told her about the better parts of my job, expressing my love of the projects I worked on weekly.
We were laughing and holding hands as we walked down the street to look into the shop windows and drag the evening out. I was having a great time with her and slowed as we passed a real estate office. I walked over, tugging her by the hand as I looked over the flyers in the window. One happened to be a beach house a few streets away from my parents and I read over the specifications slowly, finding it to be perfect. “Look at this, Cel.” I pointed at the window and she moved closer to read it. “It’s perfect. We both have money saved, and it’s close to my family. It’s even a little smaller so we don’t have to worry about massive place.”
“You want to buy a house… with me?” She asked in a shaking voice before she looked at me.
“I want forever with you. I know this might be moving in the wrong order but I’m ready for my own place. If we need something bigger down the line, it’ll sell just fine.” I grinned and looked at her.
“Remy… this is so fast. Are we ready for this?” She asked as she looked at the flyer and back at me.
“I don’t worry about anything ending between us but if it does, we can both agree to be adults about it. We can figure that out.” I pressed her to the window and kissed her hard, feeling her moan against me.
“Let’s look at it,” she whispered as I grinned against her lips. I got the number to the realtor into my phone and snapped a picture of the window. We took a walk on the beach and headed home to look at the laptop at other pictures of the house. It was gorgeous inside and an open floor plan that Celia loved, but I sensed her hesitation.
“Celia? What’s going on?” I asked as I pushed away the computer.
“This just seems fast,” she murmured as she stared at the table.
“We’ve been living here together and there’s so much wasted time with us. Let’s move towards our future.” I said as I grabbed her hands. “Don’t doubt this.”
“I can’t help it, Remy. There was that picture and I am still working through the fact you work with your ex. I know how you used to be.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, and she stared at the floor.
“Jesus, Celia. I thought you were all in.” I told her, leaning back as I stared at the dark night outside of the window.
“I am but buying a house is such a big thing. I am going to invest a lot of money into this and I’m scared. That money is such a bad reminder for me but it’s my security blanket. I don’t want to do this and lose everything.”
“You are one of my best friends, Celia. You are my best friend and my everything. I want this with you.” I told her as I stared at her. “We can rent something if you want. I can move slow with you.”
“Yeah, maybe we should. We can afford that with our jobs.” I nodded slowly, clicking out of the site, and walking over to get a beer. I knew that something changed with us tonight because of that picture. There was a part of Celia that didn’t trust me.
I loved her for so long and wanted her to be my forever. I drank most of the bottle as she wandered out to the deck, dropping into one of the chairs. I wasn’t sure how to prove my feelings towards her. I deleted all of Amy’s information and I’d push for her to get fired tomorrow. I’d tell Rick everything. I’d quit if Celia wanted me to.
I walked outside with my second beer, dropping beside her. “What can I do to make this better?” I asked as I reached for her hand.
“Let’s slow down. Let me ease into this. I’ve loved you for so long, Remy. I’m scared to lose this after my family.” I could understand that. “Let’s start by looking for an apartment.”
“Fine.” I agreed, holding her hand tightly, trying to convey my feelings.
Chapter Fifteen
Celia
I was still awake well into the night after Remy fell asleep. I told him that I wanted to look for an apartment, but I feared even doing that. The picture that Amy sent to him was intimate and told me that they might not be as innocent as he suggested they were. I’d done some stalking online and knew how gorgeous she was. Remy spent every day with her and they were together in the past. There were hard feelings, but he was willing to give her a chance.
Remy was so much like his mom.
I tossed and turned until I stood to get a glass of wine. I needed to relax and sleep because I had a lot of work to do in the morning. I poured a big one and sat down outside, listening to the waves crash against the shore. I remembered the pictures online of the beautiful house and wanted to cry. I could afford it and more with his help, but I was too damn scared.
I pictured us being stable and happy there. I could see myself writing at the window overlooking the beach and cooking dinner when he got home from work. We could take walks on the beach at night and sleep in our own room in our own house listening to the ocean. I sipped my wine again, wishing my mom was here to talk to me. I knew that she’d tell me to choose Remy and trust him with my life and my heart. That was what I wanted him to do for me but there was so much fear. I wondered if I had issues with abandonment as I looked at the stars, despite being in love with Remy.
I woke up to the sky brightening, blinking as I sat up. I fell asleep out here. I glanced down to see the near empty glass of wine and pushed my hair back as I shivered. I grabbed the glass and jumped up, heading inside as I locked the door. I rinsed it in the sink and hurried to my room, finding Remy awake and staring at the ceiling. “I fell asleep on the deck. I didn’t mean to.” I told him, slipping under the covers and against his warm body.
“Did you?” He asked softly, not looking at me. “Since we’ve been together, even since that first night; I never wanted to wake up without you. When I got you, I swore I would have you with me and I woke up alone. I
didn’t know if you left me or the house, or our entire life.” I stayed still. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t had a relationship like this before. Amy was nowhere near this, Celia. I worked more than anything else back then. Now I feel like I’m working towards a goal.”
“You don’t still have feelings for her, do you?” I asked as I turned to face him, slipping my arm around his stomach.
“No. I forgave her and let the anger go, but I’ll never have anything left from that. She hurt me and mocked all my hard work, Celia. I swore that I’d never do that for anyone else until we got together.” I felt him tense under my touch. “You’re my first love, Celia. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re my first love, Remy. I am so scared of losing you.” I told him as he covered my arm with his large hand. “I guess losing both parents left me on shaky ground and I’m sorry.”
“I understand,” he replied and stroked my skin. The alarm went off and he sighed. “I am going to talk to Rick at work. He shouldn’t be sleeping with an employee to begin with and now that it’s getting sloppy, I think she needs to be let go.”
“Okay,” I said as he moved to sit up. He kissed my cheek before moving to the bathroom to shower and I snuggled under the blankets. I loved that this room smelled like him and us. I wondered if that scent might fade from the way he was acting towards me. Remy wasn’t being the aggressive man with me that I’d seen in the last several months anymore. He was acting scared and probably the way I was being towards him.
It hurt when it was thrown back at you, intentional or not.
Remy got out of the shower and dressed for work. He was quiet and had a calm expression on his face as I watched him. “Are you okay?” I asked as he glanced at me.
“I just don’t feel like we’re so secure anymore.” He shrugged. “I hope it passes because I love you, Celia. I’ll never love anyone else, but you need to trust me.”