by Jae
She wasn’t used to it. She and Dana hadn’t lived together, and she’d never been eager to have sleepovers because she knew they came with certain expectations. Maybe that was part of why she had been so willing to enter into a relationship with Ash, who was so deeply closeted that she rarely risked staying over or having Holly stay the entire night.
“Holly?” Leo called through the closed door. “You okay?”
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be right out.” She hadn’t realized how long she’d been in the shower. Hurriedly, she shut off the water, toweled off, and put on her pajamas.
A cloud of steam followed her as she opened the door to Leo’s bedroom. “It’s all yours.”
Leo’s gaze swept over the thin straps of her pajama top before veering away. “Are you really okay with this?” She waved her hand toward the bed.
“Leo…” She stepped closer until she could take Leo’s hand and feel her body heat. “If we’re doing this…” She paused, suddenly not sure if she was talking just about sleeping in the same bed tonight or about giving a relationship a chance.
“If we’re doing this…?” Leo prompted.
Holly gave herself a mental kick to unfreeze her brain. “You’ll have to trust me that when I say I’m okay with something, I am okay with it.” That didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous, of course.
“Okay.” Leo nodded. “I’ll try to do that from now on.”
From now on… She was definitely talking about more than just tonight, wasn’t she?
Holly stared at Leo’s retreating back. When the bathroom door clicked shut behind her, she told herself to stop overthinking things and slid beneath the covers.
The sheets smelled of Leo, and so did the pillow. She pressed her face against it, breathed in deeply through her nose, and closed her eyes. Mmm. She couldn’t say what it was that Leo smelled of, maybe almond soap and a faint trace of perfume. Whatever it was, it was nice. Very nice.
The water in the bathroom cut off.
Either that had been the quickest shower in the history of mankind, or Holly had lost track of time while she had immersed herself in Leo’s scent. Her cheeks burned.
The bathroom door opened, and Leo stepped out in a pair of cute, pink boxer shorts and a white tank top. The damp ends of her hair brushed her nearly bare shoulders, and Holly drank in the sight of her smooth skin and long legs.
Before Leo could once again ask if it was okay, Holly held up the covers, inviting her to slide into bed beside her.
Leo crawled into bed, and Holly settled the covers over them.
They lay on their sides, facing each other, not touching, but with just a few inches of space between them.
When Leo reached out a hand, Holly didn’t flinch away. She wanted Leo to touch her, to establish a connection.
Instead, Leo reached across her and flicked off the lamp on the bedside table, throwing the room into darkness. Only a bit of silvery moonlight filtered in through the window they had left open.
A wave of disappointment swept over Holly as Leo’s hand dropped back to the bed. At the same time, she couldn’t help smiling at herself and her own eagerness. Only twenty-four hours ago, she had wanted to keep her distance from Leo. What had happened to that resolution?
Slowly, careful not to brush against Leo’s body in the darkness, she turned around. The rustling of the covers indicated that Leo was doing the same, so now they were lying with their backs toward each other.
Holly lay with her eyes open, listening to Leo’s breathing. If one of them turned around in her sleep during the night, they’d practically be on top of each other.
“Holly?” Leo’s voice, sounding almost like that of a child, broke the silence. The mattress shifted as she rolled over, onto her other side. “C-can I…?” Her hand tentatively brushed Holly’s shoulder blade.
Instead of answering, Holly rolled onto her back and opened her arms.
Leo cuddled up immediately, one arm wrapped around Holly’s middle. She fit her face into the curve of Holly’s neck. Her hair fanned out across Holly’s shoulder and tickled her skin.
“Your heart is pounding,” Leo whispered into the darkness. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Besides, this is about making sure you are okay.” She tried to make out Leo’s features in the pale moonlight. “Are you?”
When Leo sighed, her breath washed over Holly’s neck, making her heart beat even faster. “I will be.” She shifted a little closer still, nestled their bodies together, and carefully settled her leg across Holly’s thighs.
As different as they were—Leo tall and slim, Holly curvy and shorter—they fit against each other perfectly. It was a completely new and yet strangely familiar feeling.
Leo hummed against her neck. “God, Holly. You have no idea how good this feels.”
“It feels really good to me too.”
“It does?” Leo asked quietly.
Holly nodded. “Oh yeah.”
“Good. I don’t want this to be just about what I need.”
Wow. How could she have ever thought Leo was a spoiled, egocentric superstar? She slid her fingers into Leo’s slightly wavy hair and started to caress her scalp.
Leo let out a sound that resembled a purr. Her eyes fell closed, her lashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly against Holly’s skin.
Holly tightened her hold. She wanted to hug this moment close forever. How could anyone think that anything could be more intimate than this?
“Holly?” Leo’s voice was already tinged with sleep.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Holly said, but she could tell that Leo had already fallen asleep in her arms.
Holly tenderly trailed her fingers through her hair and held her while she slept until she finally drifted off too.
Leo floated awake from the most amazing dream she’d had in years. She lay there with her eyes closed, trying to hang on to it for as long as she could. Then, as her brain became fully awake, she realized that it wasn’t a dream. She was still cuddled up to Holly, as if they hadn’t moved an inch the entire night. Maybe they hadn’t. Instead of tossing and turning with thoughts of her father all night as she had expected, she had slept peacefully.
At that thought, it all came flooding back with the force of a tsunami. Dad! Her body stiffened in Holly’s gentle embrace. A cascade of images from yesterday hailed down on her—her father lying motionless in his bed, the sound of his harsh breathing and then the awful silence, the ambulance doors closing behind him, and the piercing sound of the monitor in the hospital.
New tears burned in her eyes, but she forced them back. Her throat still felt raw from last night’s crying. Boy, that had been unexpected. Grief had moved in like fog, creeping up on her. The only thing that had chased away the swathes of mist had been Holly’s presence.
Leo clung to her and let Holly’s steady heartbeat beneath her ear soothe the jagged edges of sadness piercing her chest. In a little bit, she would get up and check on her mother, but first, she wanted a few more minutes in this quiet haven with Holly.
She lifted her head off Holly’s chest and watched her sleep. Holly’s full lips were slightly parted, and her auburn lashes threw shadows onto her cheeks in the soft orange light of sunrise. Her hair was mussed, and Leo’s fingers itched to reach out and smooth it back into place.
Tenderness filled her, almost like an ache.
As if sensing her perusal, Holly stirred against her and, still half asleep, snuggled even closer. It took another minute before her eyes blinked open. She stared at Leo for a few seconds, as if she couldn’t figure out what they were doing in bed together, then the corners of her mouth tipped up into a smile. “Good morning.” Her voice was husky with sleep.
Simply adorable. Leo smiled back. “Good morning.”
Ho
lly yawned and stretched beneath her, and Leo suddenly became aware of where exactly Holly’s leg rested—right between hers.
She bit back a groan and struggled against the urge to press even closer.
Holly reached up with one hand and ran her fingers through Leo’s hair while she studied her with a concerned gaze. “How are you feeling?”
Leo fought to sum up the chaotic mix of emotions running through her. Sad, surreal, happy, embarrassed, and a little aroused. “I’m okay.”
Holly gave a tiny tug on Leo’s hair and looked at her skeptically.
“Really,” Leo said. “It could be a lot worse.” Without you here. Reluctantly, she rolled to the side, away from temptation. “What happens now?”
“You should probably help your mother with the funeral arrangements.”
Reality hit her as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over her head, reminding her that there was a world full of problems beyond this cuddly, warm bed. She sighed. “Yeah.”
“I can help too, if you want.”
The cold receded a little. “Don’t you have to work?” That was what she had meant when she had asked her what would happen now—with Holly…with them. “I mean, you’re not our…uh, my father’s nurse anymore, so won’t the agency send you somewhere else?”
The thought felt wrong. Four weeks ago, she had viewed Holly as an intruder and wondered what she was doing in her parents’ home, but now Holly seemed to belong there. Imagining the house without her father and without Holly sent a shiver through her.
“Eventually,” Holly said. “But it’s Saturday, so I’m not working.”
Romancing Holly by taking her casket shopping hadn’t been part of Leo’s plan, but she felt ill-equipped to handle it all on her own. Was it wrong to lean on her so much? She had never relied on anyone, at least not for emotional support. Why change now?
Because she could, she realized. For once in her life, someone stood by her without expecting anything in return—and Leo wanted to let her.
“If you really don’t mind…”
“I really don’t,” Holly said firmly. “You don’t have to go through this alone, okay?”
Tears welled up unexpectedly. “Thank you,” Leo croaked out.
They came together in a tight embrace in the middle of the bed.
“You’re welcome,” Holly whispered against her temple.
Leo slumped into the passenger seat of Holly’s Jeep and pressed the balls of her hands to her closed eyes. Who knew that making funeral arrangements was so exhausting? When her grandparents had died, she hadn’t helped with anything beyond ordering the nicest wreath money could buy, but now she had to take care of everything.
Her mother wasn’t up to making any of the decisions—selecting a casket, picking out the clothes her father would wear, taking care of the obituary, and choosing which music would be played during the visitation and the funeral. The to-do list seemed endless.
“Home?” Holly asked from the driver’s seat of her Jeep that was parked in front of the funeral home.
“Not yet.”
“Leo, you have to take a break and eat something.” Holly reached across the middle console and put her hand on Leo’s leg for a moment.
The touch raised Leo from her emotional stupor. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward Holly. “I will. But there’s one more thing I need to do first. Can you drop me off at Ashley’s flower shop? I need to order the flower arrangements for the funeral.”
“I don’t need to drop you off. I can come in with you.”
Leo shook her head. Holly had helped her so much already. There was no need to put her through talking about flowers with Ashley. Surely Ash’s denial of their relationship still stung. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine on my own for this one. Maybe you should go home. Your family is probably wondering where you disappeared to.”
“Probably. But how will you get home?”
“I’ll just walk. It’s not that far, and I could use some fresh air to clear my head.”
Holly hesitated. “All right,” she finally said but didn’t look happy. She took her hand off Leo’s leg, put the car into drive, and pulled away from the curb.
Two minutes later, they were parked in front of Ash’s flower shop.
Holly shut off the engine. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”
Leo wasn’t, but she nodded anyway. “Will I see you…?” She cut herself off before she could add the later, not wanting to take it for granted that Holly would return to the house. “Will you come to the funeral?”
“The funeral?” Holly echoed. “You will see me later, when I come by to check on your mother.”
Part of the tension inside of Leo eased. She smiled at Holly. “Just on my mother?”
Holly mirrored the smile. “Well, since I’ll be there already, I might as well look in on you too.”
Their gazes held across the middle console. Leo felt as if strings were growing between them, tying them to each other and tugging her forward, toward Holly.
Holly leaned across the middle console too, making Leo’s heart pound with anticipation. When their lips were just inches apart, Holly paused, shook her head as if at herself, and then hastily retreated to her side of the car.
What…? No, don’t go! everything in Leo screamed out.
“I, um… See you later,” Holly croaked out.
Still staring at Holly’s mouth, Leo licked her lips and tried to get herself back under control. As much as she wanted to kiss her, Holly was right. They hadn’t resolved anything between them, and besides, this wasn’t the time or the place. “See you later.” Reluctantly, she climbed out of the Jeep and closed the door.
They looked at each other through the glass of the side window. Neither made a move to part ways.
Get a grip. Just because Holly wasn’t going to accompany her was no reason to act as if she were heading into a war zone, not a flower shop.
Holly gave her an encouraging nod and a wave before starting the Jeep and pulling away.
When her taillights had disappeared in the distance, Leo squared her tense shoulders and entered the flower shop.
The bell over the door tinkled. Moist air engulfed her, heavy with the scent of roses, orchids, and other flowers that Leo couldn’t identify.
There was no one in the store.
“I’ll be right there,” Ash’s voice came from a back room. The sound of a radio playing drifted over from the same direction.
Leo stuffed her hands into her pants pockets and looked around. A large refrigerated glass case took up one wall, while the others were lined with metal buckets and vases full of flowers in all colors of the rainbow.
Apparently, Ashley had done well for herself.
A minute later, Ash emerged from the back room in a green florist’s apron. “How may I—?” She froze. “Leo!”
Leo shifted on the balls of her feet. “Hi.”
Her gaze never leaving Leo’s, Ash rounded the counter. “I heard about your father. I’m so sorry.” She wiped her hands on her apron and then wrapped her arms around Leo.
For a second, Leo stood ramrod straight before lifting her arms to return the embrace. The heady scent of Opium swirled around her, triggering memories of high school. It had been Ash’s signature fragrance even fourteen years ago. Back then, Leo had always thought the perfume aptly named because it had been like a drug for her. She had lived for one of the rare but warm hugs from Ash.
Now all it did was make her think of the way it had felt to be wrapped in Holly’s arms all night. Apparently, Opium was no longer her drug of choice. She much preferred Holly’s lighter, more subtle scent.
“Thanks,” she mumbled when they let go of each other. “I’m here for, um, flowers. For the casket.”
Something shifted on Ash’s face, from a fri
end offering comfort to professional florist. “Of course. Did you have anything particular in mind?”
Leo lifted her hands and then dropped them. “I don’t have the slightest idea about flower arrangements for a funeral.”
“Lucky for you, I do,” Ash said with a soft smile. “Let’s see… Did your father have a flower he liked?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What about his favorite color?”
Jeez, this was embarrassing. She didn’t know the answer to any of these questions. Maybe she should call her mother. But then she decided not to. Her mother had been the one to take care of her father for many months; now it was her turn. “Um, blue, I think.” At least that was the color of the tie he wore most often.
“Blue. We can work with that. What about these delphinium?” Ash walked around the store and pulled out flowers with long stalks, their blue blooms encircling the stem. “We could weave in white carnations or maybe lilies or orchids.” She added the flowers she had mentioned and held them out for Leo to see. “What do you think?”
Leo tried to decide whether her father would have liked the arrangement. Had he even liked flowers? Finally, she decided that it didn’t matter. He was no longer here to see it, so the flowers were more for her mother than for him. “Looks good to me.”
“So, when will the funeral be?” Ash asked.
“Monday at ten.”
“I’ll make sure the casket spray is at the funeral home in time.” Ash put the flowers she had pulled out back into their buckets. “Do you want me to arrange flowers for the altar and boutonnieres for the pallbearers too?”
Leo had no idea what boutonnieres even were, so she nodded. “Yes, please. Just bill me for everything.”
Ash shook her head. “No bill. I won’t charge you for a thing.”
“Ash, you can’t—”
“We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
Were they? Leo wasn’t sure. Ash paying for the flowers seemed odd, definitely beyond the status of their relationship. “You’re friends with most people in town. If you did this for everyone…”