“I...I was just kiddin’, damn I can't shut this off, huh?”
“Doesn't seem like it,” she says shaking her head.
“Contrary to the tabloids, I really don’t sleep around that often.”
“No? Seems to me like you have quite a few women on your arm a week.”
She continues to look down, playing with the napkin on her hand.
“For events and stuff, sure, but I don't take them all home with me.”
We’re silent for a few minutes and I motion for the bartender to bring me a beer. He takes one out of the fridge, pops the top and slides it to me. I take it in my hand and tip it over towards Normani.
“To a very strip-free night,” I smirk.
She takes her glass, clinking it with mine but then sets it back down on the bar without taking a sip.
“Too much to drink tonight?” I ask.
“None actually. I don't drink. I just thought it would be weird if I sat here without one.”
“Really? Why not?”
“I just...I just don't,” she says quickly.
She still isn't looking at me and I can't help myself. I put my finger until her chin and lift her face to mine, our eyes meeting for the first time. They are so green and I have to blink to remember what the hell I was even gonna say.
“Can I ask ya somethin’?”
“I’m sure if I say no you will anyway,” she whispers.
“Why am I not your type?”
She blinks and turns away, forcing my hand to drop to my lap.
“I just don't do this,” she motions between the two of us.
“Men? Ah I was way off track, I'm sorry.”
She laughs shaking her head.
“I meant this, like you. Mr. Girls-Gone-Wild Gavinwood’.”
“What does that mean?” I ask my agitation starting to seep into my tone.
“I don’t normally do this, but eventually if I decide to, I don't want to be one woman among many. I want to be the only woman. You clearly don’t do that, hence, not my type.”
I arch my eyebrows and lean back.
“Maybe it's because I never felt the need to settle down. You don't know what my life is life, no one cares about regular old Devin, they want Mr. Smooth Talker with the black card. Why would I marry any of those women?”
I realize my voice sounds harsh and I see Normani gritting her teeth.
“Don't raise your voice at me,” she snaps.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. I apologize.”
I run my hand through the back of my hair and look around the bar. There's a jukebox in the corner and I glance over to Normani. She isn't looking my way and I feel like a jackass. My mama would smack me silly if she heard the way I just spoke to her. I keep fucking this up with her, what the hell is wrong with me?
I get off the bar stool and make my way over to the jukebox. I dig around my pockets for a couple quarters and scroll through the selections. My eyes immediately land on one and I smile, popping in the change and walking back over to Normani.
“I’m sorry. It’s a sore subject for me, I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you. Let's start over, for real this time. Dance with me,” I say lifting her hand gently, placing the ice back on the bar.
I examine it and put it up to my lips, kissing it. She looks over to me questioningly her mouth opening, just an inch when my lips make contact with her cold skin. She smiles when she hears the song.
“Those moves won't work on me, Gavinwood.”
I wrap my arm around her dainty waist and my big hand engulfs her tiny one. I rub my thumb along her hurt wrist, trying to warm her skin again.
We sway to the music and I move my head closer, my lips against her ear. I sing the words of the Lee Brice song to her, feeling the lyrics and how true they have become:
“I don’t dance,
but here I am
Spinning you around
and around in circles
It ain’t my style,
but I don’t care
I’d do anything
with you anywhere
Yes, you got me
in the palm of your hand, girl
'Cause, I don’t dance.”
I twirl her around under my arm and we connect again, our bodies swaying to the music. Her laugh is exhilarating, and I can’t help but laugh too. Back and forth the rhythm and the lyrics surround us like a blanket, a shield away from the world. A world that I know, has been harsh to this beautiful woman. A woman that I cannot shake from my heart, no matter how many times I try.
The music stops and I put my hand on the small of Normani's back guiding us to the bar.
“I think I'm gonna head up,” she says.
I nod and follow her out towards the elevators. The doors open and I let Normani step inside and then I follow.
“Thank you for sittin’ with me tonight, you didn't have to do that,” she says as she presses the button for her floor.
“I know I didn't, I wanted to.”
I press the button for mine, two floors above and watch as the elevator ascends, floor by floor.
The doors open and Normani steps out turning back around towards me.
“Goodnight De-”
“Let me walk you to your door.”
I step out, walking slowly next to her down the hall, hearing her breathing pick up, the closer we get to her room.
“So why'd you ignore me at dinner tonight?”
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, I just...I don't know.”
She stops in front of her door and looks up at me, playing with her room key.
“This is me,” she says.
“Have a good night,” I say leaning down to kiss her on her cheek.
She gasps and I pull back slow, smiling at her.
“You too.”
We're still standing there looking at each other, The need to press my lips to hers, taste her, make her feel good, make her smile, it consumes me. She shakes her head breaking our gazes and turns towards her door, slides the key and opens it. She walks inside and shuts it and I'm standing in the hall like a fucking idiot, throwing my head back exhaling. I walk back down the hall, kicking myself. I should have fucking kissed her.
Normani
I lean against the door and put my hand over my chest. That was the first time I let a man touch me like and God it felt so good. I didn't panic like I always thought I would. There is something different about Devin and it's scary how easily he can make me forget how broken I really am. God, he was so close to kissing me, really kissing me. Why didn't he kiss me? I shouldn't want him to kiss me.
I shake my head, thinking about his soothing voice, singing to me as he held me in his arms. His voice and the words to that song was like a barrier, surrounding me from my demons, blocking them out and making me feel safe.
I take my hair down from its clip and shake it free. I walk to the bathroom and slip off my dress, wrapping myself in the bathrobe. It's so warm and fluffy. I'll sleep like a baby tonight wrapped in this.
I hear a soft knock on my door and freeze. My body stiffens and all the possible scenarios run through my head. I walk towards it slowly, bracing my hands in the fighting stance I can maneuver in my sleep and check the peephole.
Devin.
I feel myself relax and open the door.
“Can I ask you somethin’?” he blurts out before I can utter a greeting.
“Again with the questions, are you always this nosy?” I ask crossing my arms over my chest.
“Your...did you do somethin’ different with your hair?”
“I just took the clip out. Was that your question?”
“No...no I...why are you not givin’ me a chance?”
“Devin…”
“You can give me an honest answer, I can take it. I just...I just wanna know.”
“I’m damaged Devin, really damaged. You don't need someone that is gonna make you work hard to love them.”
“I like
workin’ hard. I find that the harder you have to work for somethin’ the better it actually is. Anything else?”
“Well what if you find someone else that's easier...more available?”
“What if there isn't anyone else out there more perfect for me than you?”
“What if you hurt me? Mess me up worse than I already am?”
“What if I heal you? Make you see the good in the world again?”
“What if-”
“What if I kiss you Normani? Kiss you so hard that you forget all the reasons why this wouldn't work, and you only remember the one reason that it will.”
“What reason is that?” I whisper looking down at his lips.
Our faces are inches apart now, each excuse brought us closer and closer to each other. Like they were all obstacles and he knocked each one of them down, tossing them aside never to return again.
“When I want something I do everything in my power to get it, and when I get it, I worship it, appreciate every single thing about it, because I know what my life was like without it.”
I take a deep breath in and he moves closer as I close my eyes. He cups my cheek and then he runs a finger down the raised skin of my scar and I flinch, moving my face away.
“Don’t fight this Normani, try to let me in.”
“I can’t Devin, I’m broken. I’m so fuckin’ broken that-”
“Everyone is broken, Normani, some worse than others, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be happy...to make yourself whole again.”
“Devin, I can't do this relationship thing, especially not with a guy like you.”
“This guy standing before you ain't the one in those magazines. You're different, Normani, you make me wanna be different.”
“It's gonna be hard, why do you want that? Why not easy, why me?”
“Easy ain't real. Everyone deserves happiness. Let me erase that look in your eyes darlin’.”
“Devin I...it can't be. I've tried...for so many years I've tried.”
“Well now it's my job. You have a strength behind those eyes, Normani. Let me help you see what I see.”
“What do you see?” I whisper.
“A warrior darlin’. You're a goddamn warrior.”
He cups my cheek again and this time I don’t flinch. I let him run his calloused finger down my cheek. His thumb pulling down my bottom lip and I let out a soft moan. My body is responding and I’m trying to fight it, trying to suppress the need for him burning inside my belly.
“I’m gonna kiss you, Normani,” he says with question in his eyes.
He’s asking my permission and I fight a tear that threatens to escape. He’s handling me like a glass vase, the complete opposite of how I’ve been handled all my life, and the rush of emotions that are flooding my veins threaten to erupt. I nod my head and grab the back of his neck, crashing our lips together.
Both of his strong hands cup my cheeks and his lips dance with mine, his tongue slowly slipping into my mouth and I feel myself being pushed gently into the door. His hand goes down to my neck, the pad of his thumb caressing my pulse point and I hear my heartbeat in my ears. I hear nothing except that and the intoxicating sound of our lips crashing together.
I move my hand down to his abs, those rock solid abs that made me feel like I was punching a cement wall just an hour ago. I slip my hand under his t-shirt, feeling the warmth of this skin, his muscles tightening underneath my touch.
I feel his hand grip my waist tightly and I freeze, flashing back to a time when a man's hands weren’t as gentle as Devin’s.
“What happened, what did I do?” Devin asks pushing my chin up to look at him.
“Nothin’, I’m fine. I should get to sleep,” I say avoiding his gaze.
“Who hurt you, Normani? Who did this to you?” he asks running a finger down my scar again.
I move my face away and lightly push against his chest.
“Thank you for tonight, Devin. I really think you should go.”
I look at him now, my stare intent on scaring him away. It has the opposite effect though because he takes my hand and kisses the top of it, looking me right in the eyes, those gorgeous blues pulling me in, falsely making me believe that he can fix me, chase my nightmares away.
“Remember what I said, Normani, I don’t give up on things I want, and I want you. Not just in my bed, not just by my side at events, I want all of you, the broken and the beautiful. The edges and the resilience. All. Of. You.”
He moves closer to me and my body stills as I feel his lips press into my forehead.
“Ice that hand tonight. I'll call up a bucket from room service.”
He drops his head lower, kissing the tip of my nose, then the scar on my cheek and then he is gone. My heart pounding in my chest, beating faster than it has in a long, long time.
He is not them Normani. Don’t let him walk away. I close my eyes shaking my head, my hand on the knob of my room, ready to run and hide or take what I want for once in my life. I breathe deeply, in and out, in and out. I turn around quickly seeing Devin’s back walking towards the elevator.
“Devin!” I yell jogging towards him.
He turns around, his eyebrows furrowed and I grab his cheek, pulling his face down to me, our lips connecting again and his arm goes around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His hand goes up to my cheek, cupping my face as his lips mold with mine, taking and giving at the same time.
It's exhilarating, the happiness swirling through my veins. The security I feel with him, a different Normani. A Normani not hiding away, waiting for the storm, but taking what she wants despite the storm.
He breaks the kiss, our foreheads touching as he looks at me and smiles.
“Thank you for a great night,” I whisper.
I smile back and he kisses me again, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. He releases it slowly and I let out a soft whimper.
“Goodnight, Normani.”
He squeezes my hand as he walks away towards the elevator. I touch my lips with the tip of my fingers, smiling to myself.
I did it. It was a small step, but I did it. I won’t let them take anymore from me. It’s time to start breaking away from the fear, one foot in front of the other.
Devin
I walk back into our hotel room and I'm greeted by a whole lot of tits and ass and stupid goofy grins on all the guys faces. I shake my head as I make my way into the room Damon and I are sharing.
I turn on the light as I take off my t shirt. I'm walking towards the bathroom when I glance at Damon's bed. Only he isn't alone. His arm is draped across the back of a woman. A naked woman.
“What the fuck,” I whisper.
I walk closer to the bed and my fists ball, ready to fucking destroy him.
“Wake the fuck up you asshole. Get up,” I roar.
Both bodies stir in the bed and I see the woman's hand move from Damon's naked chest down to his waist.
“Ohh,” Damon whispers. “I need some rest you little brat.”
“Hey! Get the fuck out of bed and tell this homewrecker to get the fuck out. We’re gonna settle this you piece of shit!”
The woman shrieks and pulls the blanket up over her chest, turning towards me.
“Devin? What the fuck are you doin’?”
I close my eyes and unclench my fist shaking my head.
My sister. Thank fuck.
“I...I thought...shit this is fuckin’ awkward.”
“You thought I banged a stripper? Come on man, have some faith. I told you I wasn't and I keep my promises. You gotta trust me,” Damon sighs.
“I know man, I'm sorry. I just...I see somethin’ that is gonna hurt someone I love and I don't think, I black out. I'm sorry, I trust you.”
“Should I leave the two of you alone to kiss and make up?” Bella chimes in raising her eyebrows.
“Shut up,” I laugh. “I'll leave y’all alone. I'll go crash in a different room.”
“No, no I gotta go. I gotta c
heck on the girls,” Bella says leaning over to kiss Damon.
“You're still drunk Bells, I want someone to keep an eye on you.”
“Well you sobered me up pretty fast but if you're still not sure, you could always come and keep an eye on me.”
“Alright I'll be out in the livin’ room. Tell me when y’all are done.” I interrupt.
Changeup (Double Play Series Book 4) Page 4