The Status Civilization

by Robert Sheckley

  Chapter Five

  Barrent needed time to recuperate from his violent entry into Omeganlife. Starting from the helpless state of a newborn, he had movedthrough murder to the ownership of an antidote shop. From a forgottenpast on a planet called Earth, he had been catapulted into a dubiouspresent in a world full of criminals. He had gotten a glimpse of acomplex class structure, and a hint of an institutionalized program ofmurder. He had discovered in himself a certain measure of self-reliance,and a surprising quickness with a gun. He knew there was a great dealmore to find out about Omega, Earth, and himself. He hoped he would livelong enough to make the necessary discoveries.

  First things first. He had to earn a living. To do so, he had to findout about poisons and antidotes.

  He moved into the apartment in back of his store and began reading thebooks left by the late Hadji Draken.

  The literature on poisons was fascinating. There were the vegetablepoisons known on Earth, such as hellebore, setterwort, deadlynightshade, and the yew tree. He learned about the action ofhemlock--its preliminary intoxication and its final convulsions. Therewas prussic acid poisoning from almonds and digitalin poisoning frompurple foxglove. There was the awesome efficiency of wolfsbane with itsdeadly store of aconite. There were the fungi such as the amanitatoadstools and fly agaric, not to mention the purely Omegan vegetablepoisons like redcup, flowering lily, and amortalis.

  But the vegetable poisons, although dismayingly numerous, were onlyone part of his studies. He had to consider the animals of Earth,sea, and air, the several species of deadly spiders, the snakes,scorpions, and giant wasps. There was an imposing array of metallicpoisons such as arsenic, mercury, and bismuth. There were the commonercorrosives--nitric, hydrochloric, phosphoric, and sulphuric acid. Andthere were the poisons distilled or extracted from various sources,among which were strychnine, formic acid, hyoscyamine, and belladonna.

  Each of the poisons had one or more antidotes listed; but thosecomplicated, cautiously worded formulas, Barrent suspected, werefrequently unsuccessful. To make matters more difficult, the efficacy ofan antidote seemed to depend upon a correct diagnosis of the poisoningagent. And too often the symptoms produced by one poison resembled thoseof another.

  Barrent pondered these problems while he studied his books. In themeantime, with considerable nervousness, he served his first customers.

  He found that many of his fears were ungrounded. In spite of the dozensof lethal substances recommended by the Poison Institute, most poisonersstuck single-mindedly to arsenic or strychnine. They were cheap, sure,and very painful. Prussic acid had a readily discernible odor, mercurywas difficult to introduce into the system, and the corrosives, althoughgratifyingly spectacular, were dangerous to the user. Wolfsbane and flyagaric were excellent, of course; deadly nightshade could not bediscounted, and the amanita toadstool had its own macabre charm. Butthese were the poisons of an older, more leisurely age. The impatientyounger generation--and especially the women, who made up nearly 90 percent of the poisoners on Omega--were satisfied with plain arsenic orstrychnine, as the occasion and opportunity demanded.

  Omegan women were conservatives. They simply weren't interested in thenever-ending refinements of the poisoner's art. Means didn't interestthem; only ends, as quickly and as cheaply as possible. Omegan womenwere noted for their common sense. Although the eager theoreticians atthe Poison Institute tried to sell dubious mixtures of Contact Poison orThree Day Mold, and worked hard to put across complex, haywire schemesinvolving wasps, concealed needles, and double glasses, they found fewtakers among women. Simple arsenic and fast-acting strychnine continuedto be the mainstays of the poison trade.

  This quite naturally simplified Barrent's work. His remedies--immediateregurgitation, lavage, neutralizing agent--were easy enough to master.

  He encountered some difficulty with men who refused to believe they hadbeen poisoned by anything so commonplace as arsenic or strychnine. Forthose cases, Barrent prescribed a variety of roots, herbs, twigs,leaves, and a minute homeopathic dose of poison. But he invariablypreceded these with regurgitation, lavage, and neutralizing agent.

  After he was settled, Barrent received a visit from Danis Foeren andJoe. Foeren had a temporary job on the docks unloading fishing boats.Joe had organized a nightly pokra game among the government workers ofTetrahyde. Neither man had moved much in status; with no kills to theircredit, they had progressed only as far as Second Class Resident. Theywere nervous about meeting socially with a Free Citizen, but Barrent putthem at ease. They were the only friends he had on Omega, and he had nointention of losing them over a question of social position.

  Barrent was unable to learn very much from them about the laws andcustoms of Tetrahyde. Even Joe hadn't been able to find out anythingdefinite from his friends in government service. On Omega, the law waskept secret. Older residents used their knowledge of the law to enforcetheir rule over the newcomers. This system was condoned and reinforcedby the doctrine of the inequality of all men, which lay at the heart ofthe Omegan legal system. Through planned inequality and enforcedignorance, power and status remained in the hands of the olderresidents.

  Of course, all social movement upward couldn't be stopped. But it couldbe retarded, discouraged, and made exceedingly dangerous. The way oneencountered the laws and customs of Omega was through a risky process oftrial and error.

  Although the Antidote Shop took up most of his time, Barrent persistedin his efforts to locate the girl. He was unable to find a hint that sheeven existed.

  He became friendly with the shopkeepers on either side of him. One ofthem, Demond Harrisbourg, was a jaunty, moustached young man whooperated a food store. It was a mundane and slightly ridiculous line ofwork; but, as Harrisbourg explained, even criminals must eat. And thisnecessitated farmers, processors, packagers, and food stores.Harrisbourg contended that his business was in no way inferior to themore indigenous Omegan industries centered around violent death.Besides, Harrisbourg's wife's uncle was a Minister of Public Works.Through him, Harrisbourg expected to receive a murder certificate. Withthis all-important document, he could make his six-months kill and moveupward to the status of Privileged Citizen.

  Barrent nodded his agreement. But he wondered if Harrisbourg's wife, athin, restless woman, wouldn't decide to poison him first. She appearedto be dissatisfied with her husband; and divorce was forbidden on Omega.

  His other neighbor, Tem Rend, was a lanky, cheerful man in his earlyforties. He had a heat scar which ran from just beneath his left eardown almost to the corner of his mouth, a souvenir given him by astatus-seeking hopeful. The hopeful had picked on the wrong man. TemRend owned a weapon shop, practiced constantly, and always carried thearticles of his trade with him. According to witnesses, he had performedthe counterkill in exemplary fashion. Tem's dream was to become a memberof the Assassin's Guild. His application was on file with that ancientand austere organization, and he had a chance of being accepted withinthe month.

  Barrent bought a sidearm from him. On Rend's advice, he chose aJamiason-Tyre needlebeam. It was faster and more accurate than anyprojectile weapon, and it transmitted the same shock-power as a heavycaliber bullet. To be sure, it hadn't the spread of heat weapons such asthe Hadjis used, which could kill within six inches of their target. Butwide-range beamers encouraged inaccuracy. They were messy, carelessweapons which reinforced careless traits. Anyone could fire a heat gun;but to use a needlebeam effectively, you had to practice constantly. Andpractice paid off. A good needlebeam man was more than a match for anytwo widebeam gunmen.

  Barrent took this advice to heart, coming, as it did, from an apprenticeassassin and the owner of a weapon shop. He put in long hours on Rend'scellar firing range, sharpening his reflexes, getting used to theQuik-Thro holster.

  There was a lot to do and a tremendous amount to learn, just in order tosurvive. Barrent didn't mind hard work as long as it was for aworthwhile goal. He hoped things would stay quiet for a while so hecould catch up to the older inhabitants.
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br />   But things never stayed quiet in Omega.

  One day, late in the afternoon as he was closing up, Barrent received anunusual-looking caller. He was a man in his fifties, heavy-set, with astern, swarthy face. He wore a red ankle-length robe and sandals. Aroundhis waist was a rawhide belt from which dangled a small black book and ared-handled dagger. There was an air of unusual force and authorityabout him. Barrent was unable to tell his status.

  Barrent said, "I was just closing up, sir. But if there's anything youwish to buy--"

  "I did not come here to buy," the caller said. He permitted himself afaint smile. "I came here to sell."

  "Sell?"

  "I am a priest," the man said. "You are a newcomer to my district. Ihaven't noticed you at services."

  "I hadn't known anything about--"

  The priest held up his hand. "Under both the sacred and the profane law,ignorance is no excuse for nonperformance of one's duties. Indeed,ignorance can be punished as an act of willful neglect, based upon theTotal Personal Responsibility Act of '23, to say nothing of the LesserCodicil." He smiled again. "However, there is no question ofchastisement for you as yet."

  "I'm glad to hear that, sir," Barrent said.

  "'Uncle' is the proper form of address," the priest said. "I am UncleIngemar, and I have come to tell you about the orthodox religion ofOmega, which is the worship of that pure and transcendent spirit of Evilwhich is our inspiration and our comfort."

  Barrent said, "I'll be very happy to hear about the religion of Evil,Uncle. Shall we go into the living room?"

  "By all means, Nephew," the priest said, and followed Barrent to theapartment in back of the store.