by Em Petrova
“You got a thing for her.”
He cracked an eye at Zayden. “What makes you think that?”
“Anybody with a set of eyes can see it. And she was lookin’ her fill plenty.”
Hell—was she? He didn’t want to know that, because he’d only have a harder time peeling himself away from her.
“I ain’t good for anybody.”
“Yeah, you’re surly. You used to be much more fun.”
As he cocked a brow at his brother, he closed his hand around a pile of sawdust on the ground. Then he straightened and tossed some dust in Zayden’s face. The dust covered his sweaty skin and clung to his hat. Zayden let out a holler and tore off his hat to knock the dust off.
Dane grinned. “Just like ole times, Z.”
His brother grunted but Dane could see he fought a smile. “Back in the day when you and Asher threw dust at me, I’m pretty sure I whooped both your asses. You ready for that, Dane?”
He bobbed his head once. “Bring it.”
Zayden chuckled and instead of rushing him and knocking him on his ass, he swiped another hand over his face and placed his hat back on before getting to work again.
Time passed with only the clunk clunk of wood against wood as the pile grew larger. When it was time for a breather, Dane grabbed his jug of water and took a load off on a felled log. Zayden did the same.
“So…weddin’ venues, huh?”
Zayden lowered his jug. “Yeah. Money’s tight for both of us. With the ranch draining money and Esme taking night courses to complete her degree, neither of us have much to spend on expensive wedding halls.”
“Like a firehall?”
“Even the Stokes Fire Department wants eight hundred bucks.”
“For that shit hole?” He shook his head, incredulous. “I guess there’s only one alternative, then.”
“What’s that?”
“Vegas. You get a preacher, a certificate, one digital image—”
“What the hell?”
Dane went on, “—and weddin’ music of your choice to be played over the chapel speakers, all for the bargain price of $295. But that doesn’t include a $50 celebrant fee.”
“What the fuck is that?”
Dane shook his head. “Never did find out. And I do caution that the digital photo is printed out on-site using a cheap printer, so it’s a bit grainy.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think it’s Esme’s style. She wants her family there.”
“Maybe you need a chapel in the pines on the mountain, where it all began.”
Zayden froze with the water halfway to his mouth. “Dang, that’s a great idea.”
Dane laughed. “She’d go for that? You can’t exactly get up the mountain in high heels.”
“No, but a pair of hikin’ boots is all ya need, and Esme loves to hike. Only problem would be Mimi…” He scratched his jaw.
“Problem solved—I’ll carry her on my back.” He stood and stretched the kinks in his back put there by moving around thousands of pounds of wood between the two trees.
“Dane.”
He looked up.
“You’ve been different these past months. It’s been nice.”
Dropping his gaze, he kicked at a sliver of wood. Seeing it made him think of the injured horse, which led to thoughts of Brennah. He hadn’t seen her in two weeks either. “Thanks. I feel better.”
“What’s different?”
“Been attendin’ some meetings.”
“Meetings? AA meetings?”
“Yeah. It’s helped explain things in my life. Behaviors and such.”
“Damn, bro. That’s great. I’m really proud of you.”
Dane gave him a grateful smile. “I appreciate that. Now, if you don’t want to end up wearin’ more of this sawdust on your face, you’d better get up and start pitchin’ logs on the pile.”
Zayden unfolded his long legs and stood from the log. “How ’bout a challenge?” he drawled.
He cocked his head. “Whatcha got in mind?”
“The man who tosses the most on that pile in a minute wins.”
“And the loser?”
“Buys the other a steak dinner out of his earnings.”
Dane rubbed his stomach. “Could go for a steak right now. I’ll take that bet.”
* * * * *
Zayden’s hand came down hard on Dane’s shoulder. “Thanks for the steak. Was real good.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it was.”
“You shoulda gotten one for yourself instead o’ that burger.”
“Burger was fine.” Anyway, he wanted to keep what cash he could in his pocket. The only way to pay back the debt was to keep from spending it. Cutting trees didn’t pay as much as dancin’ onstage, but he’d take what he could get.
“I’m headin’ to Esme’s place, but I can drop you at home first. C’mon.” Zayden started to his truck.
Dane stopped. “Think I’ll hang here in town a while. You go on to Esme’s.”
“You gonna raise some hell?”
“Nah.” He looked up the road in the direction of the vet clinic. “I thought I might see a friend or two.”
Zayden followed the direction of his gaze and then gave a grunt. “If ya need a ride home, gimme a call.”
“Thanks.”
Zayden got behind the wheel of his truck and drove off, leaving him standing there feeling a little like a lost puppy.
Brennah often worked into the evening. She might still be at the clinic.
He took off walking. The city had decided to widen the sidewalks to accommodate more tourist foot traffic, and he was glad to keep a wide berth of people as he walked. He passed a coffeehouse with live music pouring through the open door. People sat on small café chairs on the sidewalk sipping beverages and eating on tiny plates. Not his style.
He continued on. The hardware store was just closing shop, pulling displays of garden tools inside before locking up for the night. Not for the first time in his life, he found himself wondering about people’s lives.
As a kid, he’d see a buddy being picked up by his mother and imagined his home life. Sharing a real meal around a dinner table, family members discussing their days rather than getting into arguments. In Vegas, it was easy to pick out tourists from the die-hards of the city, many who were too exhausted after entertaining or serving everyone else just to make a buck. Those people went home and fell into bed.
But men like him slept most of the day and got up for the night shift. The timetable threw him off-balance, and if he did find himself with downtime, he’d hit the casino.
Since his return to the ranch, he didn’t have much downtime at all. Work always filled his days, and he collapsed into bed at night, only to rise at dawn and do everything over again.
When the clinic came into view, he stopped on the sidewalk, still some distance away. He couldn’t do it. Seeing Brennah would only screw him up and hurt her.
He turned back. Maybe some live music and coffee wouldn’t be so bad. But as his boots carried him past the place, he couldn’t bring himself to go inside and continued down the sidewalk, past the steakhouse and farther. Until he stopped before the entrance to the bar, he hadn’t realized his destination.
This did not fit into the steps of the program.
He could resist the drink, though. He’d just wander in for the company, maybe buy some of the guys who’d spotted him drinks when he came to town a beer or two.
He pushed through the door and inhaled the scents of alcohol. Damn—just like coming home.
Sidling up to the bar, he took a stool. The bartender gave him a nod of greeting. “What can I get ya?”
“Uh.” He swallowed. “Just a Coke.”
“Rum and Coke?”
“No, just Coke. Thought I’d just sit and watch the game.”
He nodded and moved to the cooler to fetch a can of soda. With the cold can in Dane’s hand, he rested his elbows on the bar top and gazed at the TV over the bar. A few minutes later a co
uple guys entered.
“Moon! Haven’t seen ya down here in months. Your brother holdin’ ya hostage on the ranch?”
He chuckled. “Something like that.”
“You ain’t drinking?” The guy he knew from his old hell-raisin’ days stared at the drink in Dane’s hand.
“Thought I’d come here to buy you a beer.”
“Well, hell, that sounds mighty nice of ya.” He sat and so did his friend. Dane bought them both a round, peeling off a few bills. The rest he stuffed deep in his pocket, to send to Big John.
The three of them got to shooting the breeze, and pretty soon talk turned to the game. “Man… I bet my team can kick your team’s ass,” one guy said.
“Hell no. I’ll take that bet.” He slapped a twenty on the bar and then looked around at Dane. “Dane, who are you puttin’ your money on?”
He stared at the TV for a long minute before he reached into his pocket. “I’m with you, man. All the way.”
* * * * *
“Doctor Brennah?”
She turned from the microscope, where she was examining some matter on a slide. Lots of parasites in this poor kitten, but with treatment, she would be better in no time.
“What is it, Mindi?”
“We just got a call from Buddy’s owner. He’s having some discharge from the wound you stitched and they don’t know if he needs to be seen.”
She nodded. “Probably best. Have him come in later this afternoon wherever we can squeeze him.”
“Will do. And the dog we just got that sample on earlier, he definitely needs treatment for worms.” Mindi scrunched her nose.
“Thanks, I’ll take care of it.”
Brennah’s mind shot in the usual ten directions while she finished checking the slide under the microscope to determine just what medication would work best on the cat’s parasites. Tonight she hoped to work with Ladybug a little bit, but she may not have time.
Mindi bounced back into range, today sporting some very loud blue scrubs with butterflies on them. “Oh, do you need any help getting your pigs to the fair in a few weeks? Charlie says he can swing by your place with his trailer and pick up whatever animals you need hauled over to the fairgrounds.”
Brennah smiled. “That would be great. I didn’t know how I was putting them into the SUV.”
They shared a laugh. “What about your horse? Will it be ready for the competition?”
Pressing her lips together, she shrugged. “She’s come a long way, but I can’t say she’s perfect. A month isn’t very long to train.”
“Maybe you should hire someone to help train the mare and get her ready in time.”
Her gaze flew to Mindi’s. Did Dane say something to her or Charlie? As far as Brennah knew, they didn’t speak, and the possibility seemed unlikely.
“I did have an offer,” she admitted.
“Oh? Who? I probably know him. In a town this small, the Stokes Ag Fair is like a family reunion.”
She dipped her head and focused on the microscope slide again. “Uh, Dane Moon.”
“Dane? Wow.”
Raising her head, she looked at Mindi. “Wow what?”
“Wow, he’s hot.”
Brennah’s stomach fluttered. Hot didn’t begin to describe the cowboy. “I haven’t noticed.”
“Doc, you must never have set eyes on the man before if you haven’t noticed? I heard he was a male dancer in Vegas.” Her eyes grew wider with each word.
“Who are we talking about?” Kylie came out of the back room leading a dog she’d just taken outside for a short walk.
“Dane Moon.”
“Oh, he’s hot. I saw him yesterday down at the bar when Alex and I went in for a drink.”
Brennah’s heart came to a slamming halt. The bar?
“He was the life of the party down there, and believe me, that place could use a lift. Usually it’s just the same old depressing guys taking up the barstools all night.”
Throat threatening to close on her words, Brennah asked, “What was he doing that made it so fun?”
“Placing bets on the game. Things got pretty rowdy too.”
Her heart sank even lower. Drinking and gambling—the two things that Dane Moon should avoid.
It didn’t matter to her, now, did it? He’d made things clear they weren’t seeing each other anymore when he walked out weeks ago. Let the jackass make more mistakes—what did she care?
She whipped back around to the microscope and yanked the slide off. With quick movements, she cleaned the slide and placed it in the container to be sterilized later. When she approached the vet techs with a short, “Excuse me,” they stared at her as if she’d grown a pair of furry ears.
“I’ve got work to do. I don’t have time to stand around gossiping about people.” She rushed away and for the rest of the afternoon, she buried herself in the lives of her patients and worked long into the evening.
By the time she settled for her daily email purge, her emotions felt as if they’d been steered close to the edge of a cliff, and one puff of air would send her teetering over the ledge.
When she opened another email from Shania, she prepared herself for more pleading to make arrangements for the Skype interview. Sitting back in her chair, she read over the email. Sure enough, Shania provided a couple options for times with Dr. Clemens.
Well, what the hell? Why shouldn’t she at least talk to the doctor about the opportunity? Maybe life kept throwing the chance at her because Fate decided to push her to grab on with both hands and take the ride?
Though she was still adamant that she loved the small-town veterinary practice, her patients and her mini-farm, she owed it to herself to be open to other opportunities.
She poised her fingertips over the keyboard. Should she type a reply and snag one of the appointment times?
You shouldn’t base any of this choice on Dane. He didn’t take you into consideration when he started drinking and gambling again.
Mind made up, she tapped out a reply and hit the send button. Then she sat back in her chair and stared at the computer screen. Why did that hurt so much?
* * * * *
Fuck. Dane stared at the ceiling, not seeing anything but blackness. The sun might not have yet risen—or it could be in the inside of his soul.
Dammit to hell, he’d jumped right back into his old habits, and now not only did he have empty pockets, he hated himself too.
The job had paid them a grand, which they’d split equally. Forty-five had gone to a steak dinner for Zayden and a burger for him, a buck-fifty on a Coke at the bar—and every last dime now sat in his old drinkin’ buddy’s pocket after he’d lost everything on the bet.
All this could have easily been prevented, and the temptation gone, if he’d only continued walking to the vet clinic. Seeing Brennah and filling his time with something good and wholesome would have stopped him from sitting at the bar. Even if he hadn’t touched a drop of liquor, he returned to his old vices, same as his old man.
I’m no better than him.
He climbed out of bed and reached for his jeans. Something clanked on the floor, and he switched on the lamp to see the AA token lying there on the hardwood, taunting him. The object had a habit of falling out of his pocket at all the wrong times. He should just toss the damn thing out in the field and let the earth bury it deep where nobody would ever set eyes on it again.
In the end, he stuffed the token deep into his pocket along with his cellphone. He needed more work to keep him out of trouble until he grew a brain and said no to the things of his past. Later, he’d go into town and put up some of the flyers Zayden had printed for the tree service. And he’d ask old Travis at the feed store if he could unload trucks or stack grain in order to pay off some of the grass seed he’d tacked on to Zayden’s bill. If his brother had discovered his purchase yet, he hadn’t spoken a word, but that wasn’t like Z.
Dane could also hit up Brennah about training her horse. If he worked with the animal days while B
rennah worked, he could still help her without torturing himself with her presence. And he’d fill his hours in the process.
Glancing at the clock, he saw he had some time to kill before she woke. He’d walk through the field and see if the grass started sprouting.
Setting off in the dark reminded him of sneaking out in his younger days. What kind of man would he be if not for his father tearing him down at every turn? The physical abuse was nothing compared to the lasting effects of the mental and emotional. How had Dane come to follow in the footsteps of the man he despised most in this world? And how had he allowed that to happen?
Well, he’d just found step number four in the program, hadn’t he? The deep, moral inventory of himself.
He issued a long sigh and slowed his steps. Yeah, he’d fucked up more than he cared to admit to, and he continued to fuck up now. Walking into that bar had been a mistake. Walking away from Brennah another.
How to make things up to her—or to himself? Didn’t he deserve to treat himself better too? If he didn’t give himself the best possible chance, he might as well dig his own grave next to his old man’s and climb in.
Thinking of his brother, pride flooded in. Zayden had discovered the magic of being a man unlike their father—living up to his potential by running the ranch right. He didn’t swindle, steal and cheat to get what he needed for the Moon Ranch—he went about living the right way.
He’d also found a good woman and doted on her as much as he ever did Mimi.
Dane dropped his head, staring at the darkness and fog swirling around his boots. He wanted to be healed—goddammit, it was time.
He walked on, legs carrying him right up to Brennah’s front door.
For a moment, he stood on her porch, fist poised to knock. Then he turned away.
She worked long hours and needed her sleep. He’d wait to speak to her about the horse training. In the meantime, there was a lot of work to be done on her small spread that he could do for her.
He circled the barn and got to work.
Chapter Eleven
Brennah stared in awe at the tidy barn, the happy horses grazing in the field and the llamas that had been fed and watered. Only one person could be responsible for this—Dane.