by Lucy Langton
Maria sighed deeply as she shut her eyes and tried to push out all thoughts. She knew that no one would believe her and perhaps even convict her of insanity caused by being out at sea for so many months. Once she returned to England, she’d have a whole new game of survival to play. One which would force her to pretend and act pretty in front of society’s eyes. Maria would continue to act innocently and gain the trust of many, but in the back of her mind, she’d always be looking for a way to escape.
Tears came afresh to her eyes as she rolled onto her side and held a pillow to her chest, wishing it was James she was clinging to. She didn’t know how she was going to live her life without him, or even survive the next few weeks until his trial and ultimate death, but survive she must if she was ever going to find peace with herself again. But for now, in this early morning, Maria allowed herself to cry and feel miserable.
Chapter 26
Gregory had become truly worried about Maria the past few days at sea. Though she was present at every meal and smiled politely to the admiral and his officers, she ate very little. When a meal wasn’t being had, Maria stayed to her cabin, rarely coming out and only then for necessities. Gregory tried to have her walk with him along the main deck for some fresh air and beautiful views, but she always denied him, explaining she needed to rest or declaring that she simply needed to be alone.
The night England’s shores came into view, excitement ran through the crew like a bolt of lightning. Everyone was excited to disembark the ship and be on solid ground again. Gregory was thrilled to be able to return Maria home to her family and soon be back in the country where they grew up. He wished that a change of scenery would brighten Maria’s mood. But as Gregory went to announce their arrival to England, he watched her simply nod in response, with no excitement at all.
Gregory sat on the edge of Maria’s bed where she lay resting. She’d dressed at least and had pinned back her hair, but she lay still and unmoving as though she’d been sleeping again. Gregory lightly rested his hand on her shoulder, wishing he could take out everything that was paining Maria.
“Dear sister, why don’t you tell me about it? What has you so melancholy that even the knowledge of being able to see our parents again in the morning doesn’t bring life back into you?” Gregory said softly. He hadn’t wanted to press his sister, but his concerns for her health and well-being had begun to bother him dearly.
“Gregory, it is hard to put into words the pain that courses through my body. I know we will return to England, and I will be under society’s eyes. There is a sort of pressure that is placed upon me as a young lady that I had been free of for many weeks. I’m sure in time I will return to the way of things and the culture of England, and though I am glad to be returning home and to see my parents again, it will simply take time for me to recover from all of this,” Maria said softly. She’d turned to look into her brother’s eyes, pleading for him to simply take her words as truth. She didn’t dare describe how her heart was breaking, that the best of her would probably die with her lover. That she’d never feel joy and happiness again because the man she loved most in the world was about to be hung. No, there was no way she could describe this to him in a way that he’d understand and forgive her of. This was a pain she’d have to conquer and bury deep down inside her.
“I suppose I can understand that, in a manner of speaking. As I am not a young lady, there are things I will never understand,” Gregory said with a chuckle, causing Maria to smile.
“Yes, you’ll never understand what it’s like to wear a corset for an entire evening, being expected to dance and dine with that damn thing on as you try to breathe and talk at the same time,” Maria said, giggles starting to erupt.
“Indeed, sister, I will certainly never have to experience that. Or have to eat dainty bites of food or always wear the proper shoes and gowns for morning, afternoon, and evening time,” Gregory mocked in a flowery voice, imitating a young lady.
Maria was laughing hard now as she turned fully towards her brother and sat up. “And you have no idea how bothersome it is for Father to introduce me to every eligible gentleman in the room, regardless of age, appearance, or characteristics. Could you imagine me marrying a man twice my age simply because he has a large fortune?” Maria said as they continued to laugh together.
When their mirth subsided, they simply looked at each other. As the pain began to wind back into Maria’s heart, she tried hard to push it back, at least when she was around her family. She knew she needed to be strong now, or else everyone would find out the truth. And if Maria knew how to do one thing right, it was how to be strong when most people couldn’t.
“It is good to hear you laugh again, Maria. I am terribly worried about you and certainly had no idea you felt so much pressure returning to England,” Gregory admitted as he took Maria’s hand and held it softly in his.
“It is not that of a man to know the inner worries and fears of a woman,” Maria said simply, knowing that she couldn’t fault her brother. Surely not, since he didn’t know the whole truth.
“I suppose not,” Gregory said with a chuckle. “But we shall retire quickly to the country, as soon as you’re fit for the journey. There will be no society’s eyes there and you’ll be free to act as you please.”
“You are very kind, Gregory. I will then look forward to the next part of our journey and envision our country estate. Before long it will be the holidays and snow will surely fall. There is plenty to look forward to,” Maria said, trying to appear more positive in front of Gregory even though her words were laced with a lie.
“Indeed. Now, I’ll leave you till morning. I would rise early if I were you since the ship is expected to finish docking by first light,” Gregory said as he rose from the bed.
“Of course. I’m sure everyone will be eager to see us,” Maria said with a soft smile. She tried to muster up her excitement for seeing her parents again and did her best to smile sincerely at Gregory.
“So much so that I’d wager our mother will cause a scene at the ports,” Gregory said with a final laugh before leaving Maria alone.
The moment the door was shut, Maria’s mask fell and she allowed the pain to take over her once more. It was hard to keep it at bay, but it was good practice for when she’d be under her parents’ eye continuously. Maria forced herself to ready for bed, to prepare her gown for the morning, and ensure that all her things were packed for when they’d depart from the ship. It was this busy work that allowed her mind to keep from being distracted from her painful thoughts. But as she climbed into bed, she knew that sleep wouldn’t come easy to her. All she could think about was James, knowing that tonight was the last night that she could possibly sneak below and see him one last time.
“But what good would that do?” Maria asked herself as she forced herself to lie down and close her eyes. Seeing James again would only cause the pain to be renewed, and it would possibly be even more hurtful to leave him again. No, the best thing she could do was forget that James had ever existed, that her love for him had never been. The sooner she forgot, perhaps the sooner her pain would go away. But as sleep came for her, Maria knew that she was only lying to herself. And that wasn’t a smart thing to do when you could only trust yourself.
~*~
“Get some sleep, gents, because in the morning you’ll get to see the insides of your new home in London, England,” an officer called over the prisoners late that night, causing the other officers to laugh and sneer at them. It had been an unpleasant experience having to guard such filthy creatures, the stench and rot filling their nostrils every time they had to come below deck. Soon they’d be home and done with this mission, which greatly excited the officers.
For James, it meant that soon his misery would be over. He’d spent his days thinking of Maria and his nights dreaming of her. Sometimes he’d wrapped his arms around his body, imagining what it would be like to hold Maria in his arms again. He tried to send out messages of his love into the night, pray
ing she felt his love for her until the moment he’d be hanged. Somehow, someway, he wanted Maria to know that he’d always love her and would carry that love into the next life.
James was done crying, done trying to figure out a way to see her again. He didn’t participate in the discussions at night amongst the other pirates who still tried to think of a way to escape. Once news reached his ears that Captain Maidus had been thrown overboard, he knew that there was little hope that their leader could come up with a plan to help them escape. As James’ eyes roamed over the men he’d considered family for so long, his heart ached for them too, knowing that they’d all face the same fate soon.
It was hard to distinguish the crew members anymore since they were all covered in filth, blood, and dirt. Somewhere around him, James knew that Leonardo was still with them. He’d heard Jenkins’ angry voice ring out at one point, causing the guard to silence him quickly. Someone had said that Louis had died upon their ship and James was at least thankful that the lame man had received a swift death and hadn’t been made to suffer like the rest of them. Towering above the rest of them was Geoffrey, always sitting stoic as though he could destroy the guards with his stare alone, but without his swords, he was just a man. He was also one of the few who still talked of escaping.
“When they come for us in the morning, we could overtake them. They think we are weak, but we are pirates. We could take them with our bare hands,” James could hear him say from a few cells down.
“And how you suppose we do that chained?” another responded, dismay in his voice.
“I’ll pummel a guard to death and get the keys,” Geoffrey replied with distinction.
“And what happens when they just shoot us?” someone spoke up, scoffing at the plan.
“We kill them before they can fire a single weapon,” Geoffrey said as though it was plain and simple to understand. For him, brute strength always won. For the rest of the pirates, they needed their swords.
“And let’s say that we overthrow the guards, kill everyone on board, and take control of the ship. How then do you expect to outrun every ship in London’s harbor, sail back down the river to open waters, flee the entire side of England through the channel and make it to the ocean? No matter what we do, we end up dead,” Leonardo called out above them all, causing the guards to scurry his way. But he slunk back against the wall, putting his head down so as to be avoided. The guards didn’t bother with him, knowing that soon they’d be rid of these pests.
There was no discussion after the guards left and Leonardo’s words sunk into their minds. James could hear a few crying, their sniffles ringing out every once and a while. Perhaps none of them really thought they would ever be caught or that Captain Maidus would ever lead them astray. When the Captain had described his plan to attack Portsmouth to them, they’d all been excited, especially when the Captain showed them his official papers. It all seemed too easy, that they would just land, steal, and leave again.
Perhaps it was his foolish idea to kidnap Maria that had led them all to this point. He’d kidnapped plenty of men and women in the past so it never occurred to him that this one instance would lead to their demise. James considered this for a while, wondering if it was he that was to blame after all. But as James thought of Maria and the love they’d been able to share for a short time, he knew in his heart that he’d always choose her no matter how many times he was given the chance to make a different choice. His love for her was strong and would be the last thing he thought of as his executioner put the rope around his neck.
Chapter 27
Anxiety ran through Maria like a wild current as she held tightly to Gregory’s arm. The planks to the docks were being lowered and she knew that at any minute, her parents would come into view. She’d worn the nicest gown that had been in her trunk, hoping to still appear as proper as she could be. In her other hand, she held a parasol above her head as though she could shield her skin from any more sunlight. At least her hands were gloved in lace and very little of her skin was exposed as she wore a high collared gown that had ruffles up her neck. And with her golden hair hanging in curls around her face, she felt hidden enough.
“Miss Maria, it’s been a pleasure to make your acquaintance these last few weeks. I pray dearly that your future is bright, and that the rest of your days are filled with happiness. I wish the best for you and your family,” Admiral Reed said as he approached the two, giving them a deep bow as he said his words.
Maria dipped her head in return as she placed a smile on her lips. “Thank you, Admiral Reed. I’ll always be grateful for your rescue,” Maria replied, giving the admiral a pointed look. He certainly couldn’t believe her words, but at least she was being kind to him in public.
The moment the planks were lowered, Gregory said his goodbyes before leading his sister slowly down the planks. At the bottom, they reached the docks that would lead up to the streets above. They walked slowly in the early morning, their eyes searching for their parents as they wound their way through the docks, through those mingling about as they either unloaded or began to load other ships that were docked. Maria refused to look back to see if the pirates were being unloaded as well, and to see if she could get one more glance of James. But she continued to look ahead of her and try to forget the pain that plagued her heart.
“Maria! Gregory! Oh, I see them, Lord Willcox!” a female shouted from above. Maria looked up to see Charlotte’s shining face, as though she was a beacon in a sea of darkness. Maria smiled at her as Gregory led her up the stone stairs to the street. Their parents came into view next and Maria noticed the paleness in her mother’s face. She remembered Gregory’s words and was at least pleased to see her out and walking.
The moment Maria stepped onto the street she was enveloped by her parents. Gregory was kind enough to take her parasol as her father kissed her soundly on the forehead and her mother squeezed her tightly, sobs escaping her mouth.
“Shh now, Mother. I am well and looking forward to returning home with you,” Maria said, trying to calm her mother. It wouldn’t be long before they would start to gather onlookers, and even here at the ports, word could travel swiftly into town and along the streets of the prestigious. Maria already feared the tarnish to her family’s name with her kidnapping and only hoped that society had pitied them instead of turning their noses up at her parents.
“Indeed, dear. Let’s get the children home and have them settled. They must be exhausted,” Lord Willcox said, giving Maria space again. “But words can’t describe how happy we are to see you, my dear.”
Maria looked up into her father’s eyes and saw pools of tears. She couldn’t help herself as she embraced her father again, tears streaming down her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Father, for those awful words I said,” Maria sobbed as she clung onto him. Lord Willcox returned her embrace, hugging her tightly to her chest, never wanting to be apart from her again.
“Now, now, all is forgiven, my dear Maria. I still love you,” Lord Willcox said, causing Maria to cry even harder as she stammered out her own declaration of affection towards her father. After a moment more, he led his daughter and wife to the waiting carriage, and Gregory was kind enough to escort Lady Morgan along with them.
There was all manner of chattering going on as Lady Willcox and Lady Morgan fussed over Maria. Gregory loved the way Maria smiled as the two women assured Maria that she was gorgeous, even with her tanned skin.
“It gives you an exotic flare,” Lady Morgan assured, squeezing Maria’s hand.
“And it will fade by next Season,” Lady Willcox added, pleased beyond words to see her daughter again. She had to continually dab her eyes as she cried happy tears, all her fears and worries fleeing before her eyes as she could gaze upon her daughter once more.
Maria didn’t want to displease her mother by stating she didn’t want to attend next Season, but for now was simply pleased to be moving further and further away from the ports and out of sight of any ships. She mostly tried not to thi
nk of James and what he must be going through right now as he was thrown into prison.
“I’m sure Lord Crawford is looking forward to seeing you,” Lady Morgan said, bring Maria’s focus back to reality. Charlotte gave her a meaningful smile, and Maria did her best to look pleasant.
“I look forward to thanking him for his assistance which resulted in my rescue. I’m sure if it hadn’t been for his uncle’s connections that this day wouldn’t have happened,” Maria said, doing her best to speak honest words. But the chatter in the carriage seemed to die down as they realised just how fortunate they were that Maria had been rescued, and what could have happened to her if she hadn’t.