“Sometimes it helps to talk them out with a perfect stranger.”
He smirked. “Interesting that you’d think you’re perfect.”
“A perfect idiot,” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She scooted next to him, brushing her bare knee against his. “Would you rather be alone?”
“Hell no. I finally figured out in the last month I’m sick of spending my life alone. And just for the record, I’m not hiding from anything or anyone. Not anymore.”
“Tell me what’s going on.” She took his hand. “Come on. You know you want to.”
“Sweetheart, no wonder you and Duke don’t get along. You are a damn bulldog.” Nathan squeezed her hand. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Then I’ll start,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. You were right, going after me the day of the inspection. I should’ve told you about the Maxwell Competition and my reasons for entering it. I felt guilty, especially after you told me what happened with Malcolm. From the beginning I’d convinced myself by the time I finished the landscaping you’d be long gone and it wouldn’t matter.”
Tate refrained from comment and let him talk.
“The last month has sucked big time. Of course, I worked eighteen hours a day the first week so I wouldn’t have to think about you.” He drained the last swig of beer and set the bottle on the ground. “For the first time in my life, work didn’t help. So I stopped working entirely.”
“What?”
“Hard to believe. But I did it.” A small grin curled the corners of his mouth. “However I did spend a disproportionate amount of time just sitting in the Bobcat thinking.”
“Nathan. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know. Still, you made me question everything. I didn’t like the answers I found. I expected any woman who came along had to accept me for what I am.” His laugh was harsh. “Arrogant, huh? When I found that winyan and had your acceptance, I let you go. I did nothing to stop you.”
Tate held tightly to his hand.
“When I stormed in here today, Val was having none of it. She told me unless I took a good hard look at myself, and made some changes to my pathetic one-track life, that I wasn’t good enough for you. Which is what I feared all along.” A spark of hurt dimmed his eyes.
“You are good enough for me—”
“No”—he dropped a gentle kiss on her palm—“I’m not.” He paused. “I guess when I spent all my time working I had little time to work on how to be a good man. But I can learn.”
“Hush.” She caressed the frown marring his cheek, biting back the hot rush of tears before placing her finger over his lips. “You are a good man. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
His back remained stiff even as his voice lowered to a whisper. “And yet you left.”
Tate winced at his pain-filled tone. “And yet you didn’t ask me to stay.”
“I would have if you’d given me the chance.” He faced her. “Let me get this out, okay? After you’d gone back to Colorado I was furious. Not at you, at myself. You’d gotten exactly what you wanted, sex without strings. Not your fault that I had fallen for you. But I was afraid to tell you. I couldn’t figure out why you’d want a hick Indian who knew nothing about relationships. I’m an idiot when it comes to this romance stuff.”
“I always thought you were a romantic idiot. I still do.”
He kissed her. “God, I’ve missed you. If being with you means moving to Denver, then I’ll go. Right now.” His hand caressed her shoulder, but an expectant pause hovered in the air.
Tate inhaled. Exhaled. “There’s something you should know.”
“What?”
“Nothing you could have said or done that day after the inspection would have changed my mind. Val tried. Grace tried. But I had to go back to Colorado.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t trust the changes I’d been through. I didn’t want to give up everything I’d worked for. Regardless if my mother was the one who initially pushed me, it was my own drive that forged my career. And I couldn’t trust myself on why I’d fallen for you. Was it sex? Was it love? I wasn’t sure whether I was rebelling against my mother by latching on to the one thing guaranteed to prove she had no control over my life or my decisions—a serious relationship.
“That excruciating drive to Denver gave me lots of time to think.” Nathan’s thumb feathered gentle caresses over her knuckles. “I spent three miserable weeks at my job. I realized that no matter how high I climbed that ladder, I wouldn’t be happy.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was on the wrong ladder. I don’t want to be a corporate graphic artist. I create art because I love it. Somehow I’d lost the thrill of creating. I’m still going back to Denver.”
His hand dropped like a rock. “But—”
“Only to collect my stuff,” she assured him, clasping his big, rough hand in hers, loving the way they fit together. “I plan to go back to school for a teacher’s certificate in the fall. I’m finally going to do what I want to do. Teach kids to love art.”
He hauled her onto his lap, holding her so tight to his chest that she almost couldn’t breathe. “And your mother?”
“I told her if she wanted a career in graphic design, she should apply for the recently vacated senior artist’s job at my old firm. I’m done trying to please her. I realized I’m happier living away from my parents. They’ll come and visit.” She scowled. “Probably way too often.”
Nathan tipped her chin up. She shivered at the raw emotion etched on his face. “Of course they’ll be welcome in our home anytime. I want our children to know their grandparents.”
She swore her heart stopped beating. “What?”
“That’s my clumsy, highly unromantic way of telling you I love you, Tate. And I want you to marry me.” He rested their brows together and whispered, “I’ve been dying inside a little each day without you.”
Her mouth trembled. “Nathan—”
“You changed me. Besides pointing out my workaholic tendencies, you showed me unconditional love. Every second I’m without you is time wasted.”
Tate was happily stunned into silence.
He pulled her closer. “Say something. Say you love me, or I swear I’ll do something drastic.”
The rumble of his deep voice against her ear sent shock waves rippling through her body. “Hmm. Like what?”
“Like something romantic. I’ll show up on bended knee with a gigantic diamond, a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates. Hell, I’ll even buy you one of those puffy white kittens you’ve always wanted if it’ll help my cause.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Yes. I do. Before you waltzed out here tonight, I’d made up my mind that selling my business would be the ultimate romantic gesture.” He held her face in his hands with the utmost tenderness. “Tate. I can’t live without you. I need you so damn much it’s scary.”
Every doubt fled in the face of his love. “I don’t need romantic gestures, Nathan. Surely you realize that.” Circling her arms around his neck, she whispered, “You’re all I need. Wherever you are is home.” She pressed her lips to his softly. Once. Twice. Three times. “I love you.”
“Thank God,” he muttered, diving into her mouth for a complete taste of her.
She shivered when she realized he needed her as much as she needed him.
“Say it again,” he urged, peppering kisses over every inch of her face. “Say it so I’ll believe you’re really here giving me, giving us, another chance.”
“I love you.”.
“So you are going to marry me?”
“But don’t you want to woo me? Take things slow? Discover whether or not our relationship is based on more than sex?”
“Not on your life. I think I loved you before we ever officially sealed the deal that night in the bathroom.”
“Then my answ
er is yes.” Tate ran her tongue down the column of his throat until he groaned. “But part of me is thinking the big diamond and the kitten are pretty good ideas. Will you keep me in cat food now that I’m unemployed? At least until I sell the house?”
His hands slid down to squeeze her butt, and a familiar, wicked gleam lit his eyes. “I have a better idea.”
“Out here on the bench? I’m game.”
“I love that completely sexy look. We are going to make love until neither of us can walk. Later.” He kissed her, giving her a hot sample of what was to come. “Here’s the deal: how about if I pay your tuition in exchange for you teaching me everything about computer graphic arts so I can create my own landscape designs? We’ll sell my house and keep yours. It’s nearly a done deal anyway.”
“What?”
A splash of red dotted his cheeks. “I was the potential buyer you’re here to meet. I hope you’re not mad, but I was going crazy without you.”
Another wave of love flowed through her. “Really? You’d want to keep the money pit? Why?”
“You love it and I love you.”
Smart, sweet man. He understood her strange affection for the old Victorian. She had a feeling Aunt Beatrice would be pleased the house would be filled with love and laughter.
“Besides,” he continued, “the award-winning xeriscaping is awesome. Plus, it’s big. Tons of room for Duke.”
“Duke?” she repeated. Visions of doggy holes the size of craters danced through her mind. “Won’t he destroy all your beautiful landscaping?”
“Nah. Our kids will keep him in line.”
“How many kids?”
“Twice as many as Val and Richard. She and I have always been pretty competitive.”
Tate gasped until she felt his smile against her skin.
“Kidding. We’ll see. It’ll probably take lots of practice.” He grinned. “Tons of practice. Two, three times a day. For fifty or sixty years at least.”
“Sounds like a plan.” As Nathan captured her mouth in a lusty kiss, she felt their bonds strengthen with every touch, every breath.
He framed her face in his big, callused hands. “You are so beautiful, so sweet, inside and out. I never believed I’d find someone like you. I never thought I could be this happy.”
“Me either.”.
“You really want me just as I am, jungle girl? Red skin, long hair and all? Not gonna be an easy road for either of us.”
Tate knew happily-ever-after wasn’t just for fairy tales. Nathan’s parents had forged their own path for almost forty years. “Of course I want you just the way you are.”
“You sure it doesn’t bother you that I’m dirty most of my working hours?”
“The only permanently dirty thing about you is your mind, Nathan LeBeau,” she said haughtily. “And I happen to really love that about you.”
“I’ll show you dirty.” In one quick movement he’d moved them off the bench and down to the ground.
Sprawled across his chest, Tate felt their hearts beating as one. This went deeper than simple lust. It was love. Pure, strong and true. They stared at each other without speaking for the longest time.
The happiness shining in Nathan’s eyes mirrored her own. They’d found their own nirvana.
A slow, sexy smile lit up his face. “So you want to get down and dirty? Right now?”
Tate grinned back at him. “I thought you’d never ask.”
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Lorelei James is the NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author of erotic westerns in the Rough Riders series and the Blacktop Cowboys® series, erotic romance in the Mastered series, contemporary romance in the Need You series, and the New Adult Rough Riders Legacy series, as well as several stand-alone novels and novellas. Lorelei lives in western South Dakota—yes, by choice—with her husband, and Copper, their crazy corgi who has made their empty nest more interesting.
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