by Dyan Chick
That was more of an explanation than I was used to getting from any of the other princes I'd been traveling with. I wondered if I could press my luck. "So why is the Winter Court separate from all the others? Why did you leave during the war?"
"I think that's enough history for today," Cormac said.
"You can't keep her sheltered forever," Tristan said. He offered me his elbow. "Why don't I give you a tour?" He glanced back at the other Fae. "Don't worry, Kai will show you to your rooms shortly. And I'll bring her back in one piece."
I felt like I was being pulled in two directions. Behind me, the princes had saved me countless times. Dane and Ethan who I'd been intimate with and Cormac who I fantasized about being intimate with. We'd known each other such a short time yet they already felt like they were part of me.
I hesitated next to Tristan, working up the willpower to follow him. I wanted to hear what he had to say and I was curious about what insight he might offer. He might come across as cold and impersonal, but he was the only one of the four who easily answered my question.
"Don't worry, I won't bite unless you ask me to," Tristan said, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
I glanced at his teeth and caught sight of his sharp canines. Fae teeth were definitely more predator than human. I knew I should've felt fear from that glint in his eyes. He was trouble and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. I threaded my arm through his waiting elbow, and without a goodbye to the others, I followed him down the hallway.
Chapter Three
"These used to be the servants’ stairs," Tristan said as we walked single file up a narrow, dark stairway. "Things were different when we were all part of the same kingdom. Servants in most Courts are expected to be invisible at all times. Here, it's a job. They're paid for their time and granted equal representation as a citizen."
"I saw the servants at Cormac's home and at a wedding we stopped at in the Autumn Court," I said.
"Cormac's father must be visiting the Queen then," Tristan said.
Tristan waited for me at the top of the stairs and I joined him in the hallway. "What do you mean?"
"All servants in Faerie belong to a different kind of Fae. They are Brownies, helper faeries. They don't have the same kind of magic as the High Fae, which all of the ruling class are. Which, I guess you are."
"My maid growing up told me I was a changeling before I fled the human world. She said she was a Brownie, and that she had been working for my mother," I said the words without really considering the meaning of them, or what Tristan might think.
He seemed to ponder me, his brow furrowed while he studied my face. "It's possible you're from a noble house then. While some of the merchant class can afford to keep and care for Brownies, they mostly serve the High Fae of the nobility."
"Then why did they send me away?" I asked.
"I don't know," Tristan said.
Not wanting to think about how hurt I felt, I changed the subject. "What do you mean by Cormac's father must have been away?"
"The Brownies in Faerie aren't free. They aren't paid for their work and they have no voice as citizens of the realm. It's one of the few areas in politics where Cormac and I agree. Neither of us believe they should be treated as less than us, but Cormac's father has a stranglehold on the old ways. I've heard the new Queen is more lenient with her servants, there's even rumors she pays them, but that doesn't mean they have a choice," he said.
I frowned, not liking what I heard. I knew the servants we had growing up weren't paid well, and I knew they had little voice when it came to matters of politics, but so had I as a woman. Politics was considered a man’s domain in the human realm. Here, they had a queen. Maybe it was time for me to start paying attention to the things going on around me. It might be possible to have a voice in this realm. "Everyone should be free to make their own decision. And they certainly shouldn't be forced to work for anyone."
"I think you're going to rather enjoy your time in the Winter Court," Tristan said. He swept his arm toward the long, formal hallway in front of us. It was lined with plush red carpet and the walls were covered with striped silver and white wallpaper. Now that I knew this place used to be the primary palace of the Winter Court, the extra attention to detail made sense. I walked down the hall as Tristan had indicated and he followed one step behind me.
"This floor contains my rooms. No one else uses them so they are very private. Of course, you're welcome to stay up here with me."
I stopped and turned to look at Tristan as I pressed my lips into a tight line.
"In your own room with your own closed door, of course." Tristan put his hands up in mock surrender. "These are the chambers designed for the Prince and Princess of the Winter Court. So there are separate bedrooms that connect to sitting rooms, dining areas, and a library."
He opened the door and we stepped into a comfortable looking sitting room. A sofa and several chairs were arranged around a low table. Against one wall was a dormant fireplace. A few shelves held what appeared to be games and books. I wondered if Tristan sat in here alone playing cards or if this was where he brought and entertained females.
Tristan cut through the room, walking straight toward one of two closed doors. He opened the first door, then crossed the room again to open a second on the opposite side. "This door," he indicated the right, "takes you to the prince's room." He swept his arm to the left. "This room is for the princess. While we are here, it's yours to use. If you want it."
I had to admit, I was curious what a room designed for a princess looked like. Taking slow steps, I walked toward the open door and stepped inside. Just like everything else in this palace, the princess's room spared no expense. A four poster canopy bed was the centerpiece of the room sitting on top of a massive ornate rug that probably cost more than everything in my entire childhood home. A wardrobe, two bedside tables, and a circle of four chairs in the corner completed the furniture. The chairs were situated next to a large glass window framed by sheer white curtains. Directly across from the bed, trimmed in white stone with silver inlay, was the fireplace.
The walls were white wallpaper covered in a pattern formed by silver birds. Everything about the room was simple, understated luxury. It was clear it was all the best money could buy, and yet none of it was over the top.
I could feel Tristan standing behind me now, his warm breath on my neck. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful."
"I imagine you'll sleep well here tonight," Tristan said. "And I'll be right across the sitting room if you need me."
"I don't know if I can stay here. I'm no Princess. I can stay in a guest room like the others."
"If you'd like to share with one of the males," Tristan said with a shrug. "You have to make a choice though, would it be Dane or Ethan? I suppose it could even be Cormac, maybe you're the one to finally thaw that icy soul of his."
My cheeks heated, but I didn't turn to look at Tristan. He had a point. If I slept near any of the princes, I would be tempted to crawl into bed with one of them. When I'd been with Dane, it felt natural and for the first time I didn't feel like I was letting anyone down or hurting anyone's feelings. Because it had just been him and me. When I did it with Ethan, the others were away. So I hadn't felt guilty, but now they were all here together and they might expect me to make a choice which was something I couldn't do.
How would I make a choice when the others would be watching me? I didn't want to offend anyone or be forced to make a choice. If being with one meant saying no to another, I wasn't sure I could do that. I didn't want to make a choice. "You'll let me sleep here, alone?"
Tristan inclined his head. "I'm not sure what your friends have said about me, but I don't force females to do anything they don't want to do. One day, you'll come to me. Until that time, I won't touch you."
I pressed my lips together into a tight line, trying to hide the rush of curiosity accompanied by a tingling between my legs. It wasn't fair that he had this kind of comman
d over my body without even knowing me. I wondered if my reaction had to do with the things I did with Ethan. Had he awakened some dormant part of me that now wanted to have sex with every male I met?
"You should probably go back downstairs and find your males, I'm sure they're coming up with all sorts of imaginative things that the two of us were doing in their absence." Tristan turned and walked toward the main entrance to the suite.
I followed him out the door, still too confused about the strange feelings I was having for him to speak. It was as if something in me had changed since arriving in Faerie. I'd never had feelings like this for any human men and now I found myself lusting after four Fae princes. I hoped my visit with the Queen would help me figure out some of the confusion I was feeling.
Downstairs, I found Cormac pacing in the entryway where we'd parted ways. He stopped walking when he spotted me.
"Waiting to see if I violated her?" Tristan asked.
Cormac frowned. "Cassia, I'm sorry you have to spend time with him."
"If the Queen proves she's Winter Fae, she'll get to spend so much more time with me," Tristan said.
"We'll see about that," Cormac said. "Cassia, I promised I'd start teaching you." He glared at Tristan. "And I make good on my promises. Always."
The tension in the room was suffocating and all I wanted to do was separate these two. "Thank you, for showing me around, Tristan." I turned to Cormac. "I'm ready to learn whatever you have to share."
Chapter Four
Cormac secured us a place inside an empty stockyard. The smell of animals hung in the air of the large wooden building and the soft dirt ground was filled with divots and footprints from the previous inhabitants. I didn't ask how he knew about this place or how it came to be empty. I was grateful for the moment of peace and a place with a roof over us for training.
Outside, icy cold rain pelted the roof like thousands of tiny stones falling from the sky. I always associated snow with winter, though I supposed we got our share of cold rain as the seasons changed in the human realm.
"The first thing you need to know about being Fae, is how to channel magic," Cormac said. "Now, I won't be able to help you with all the magic you seem to have, but at least we can work on you keeping it contained so it only comes when you need it."
"That would be nice," I said. "So far, I've blinded people when I'm scared."
"Yes, you have done that. Believe it or not, that's a sign of some pretty powerful pent up magic," he said.
"When I learn how to channel, can I still do the thing with the light?" I asked.
"Maybe," Cormac said. "I'm honestly not sure. I've never seen anything quite like it, but I have seen others manifest unusual magic when they didn't know how to use it. The difference is, it's usually in children and we know Fae magic strengthens as you age."
"Do you really think I have magic from three courts?" I asked.
He pursed his lips as if trying to keep from blurting something out.
"What?" I asked.
Cormac sighed. "I think you have magic from all four. But I'm not sure yet."
My brow furrowed. "What makes you think that?"
"Mostly, it's the way the Sodalis tracked you. Uncontrolled magic is like an invitation to the monsters from the Under. It's part of why we have the Academy to train young Fae how to manage their magic."
"That can't be it, though," I said. "From what you've said, any magic could draw in the Sodalis. Why would you think I had four Courts?"
He shook his head. "You have some of the Summer Fae qualities."
"Like?" I asked.
"Your ability to talk your way out of things, for one," he said with a smile.
"I didn't know that was a Summer Fae quality," I said. "What else?"
"It doesn't really matter," he said. "We need to focus on helping you keep your magic under the surface so it doesn't call to any more monsters."
I wanted to know more about what he thought could be attributed to the Summer Court, but I knew Cormac well enough now to know he wasn't going to tell me anything he wasn't ready to share. Hopefully, the Queen would help me figure all of that out. For now, I needed to survive. Anything that would prevent me from having to encounter another Sodalis was something I could get behind. "Channeling it is. What do I need to do? I'd really like to stop being monster bait."
"The first step in challenging is control. You'll have to learn how to cycle your magic internally," he said.
I lifted an eyebrow, waiting for more explanation. The only thing I knew about cycling was the way farmers would rotate crops.
"When your magic is near, you feel it, I'm guessing," he said. "You feel it inside of you trying to break free."
I nodded. "I do. It's like something clawing at my insides."
He blinked, looking startled by my description. "Most people describe it as a tickle. Clawing?"
"It's definitely not a tickle."
"Well, that's probably because you have multiple courts worth of magic. Fae are only meant to have one kind of magic," he said.
"What about the Brownies?" I asked.
"They have their own kind of magic," Cormac said. "Not as powerful as High Fae."
"Is that why they're treated like slaves?" I asked.
"Who told you that?"
"Tristan," I said.
Cormac shook his head. "We're working on changing that. But now isn't the time to discuss politics."
I blew out a sigh. There was so much I wanted to learn, but I wasn't going to last long if I kept attracting monsters from the Under. If the monsters didn't get me, someone would eventually end my life as Angela had suggested to keep them from returning. "Alright. Politics later. Cycling now. Where do I start?"
"When your magic surges through you, it has to have a place to go. If you don't use it, it stays exposed. It can be sensed by the creatures from the Under," he said.
"That doesn't make any sense," I said.
"It's just how things are, Cassia," he said.
"No, not what you're saying. The fact that I even had magic at all. Nani, the Brownie who hid me, said changelings are stripped of their magic. How did I even have magic for the Sodalis to find in the first place?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I don't know. But then again, I've never met anyone who naturally had magic from all four Courts. It must have been too strong to stay dormant in the human realm."
"How did the Queen get hers, then?" I'd been wondering for a while how the Queen came to have the same magic that was causing me so much trouble.
"When a Fae wins Queen's Trial, she's given the key to the ancient temples. They hold the power of how one can wield the magic of all four Courts. It's difficult to contain and control, as you're learning."
"Why don't more Fae go to the temples to gain the power?" I asked.
"It's dangerous," he said. "Raw, left unchecked, like yours, the magic could consume you. If a monster doesn't get to you first. Plus, it's well protected. We can't have that amount of power falling into the wrong hands."
I took a few steps away from Cormac, blood rushing to my ears filling them with the rapid beat of my heart. "You never said anything about the magic consuming me. You only told me about the monsters."
"I didn't want to scare you," he said.
"Trust me, I was already scared of the Under," I said. "Now you're saying it's possible the magic I have inside could be just as dangerous?"
"Listen, you survived the Sodalis. That proves that you're strong. I can't teach you how to use the magic, but I can teach you how to keep it from sending signals to the monsters as to your whereabouts." Cormac's brow furrowed in concern. "I can help you contain the magic, keeping you - not the magic, in control."
I shook my head and looked down at the dirt floor. I'd felt so much lighter after the Sodalis were killed. I thought my next hurdle was simply about meeting the Queen and getting some help. I didn't realize the magic I held was so dangerous. Before I came to Faerie, I was mourning my freedom as I prep
ared for a wedding to a stranger. In the last few days, I'd had glimpses of hope. Moments where I thought that things might improve. That I might have the freedom and belonging I longed for. Instead, it seemed the deeper I went, the less choices I had.
Lifting my chin, I tensed my jaw as I stared at Cormac. I hadn't gone through all of that to give up now. "Show me how to cycle."
His lips turned up in a smile. "You can do this."
I smiled back. "I'm ready."
Cormac placed both of his hands on his heart and inclined his head toward me. I followed his example, placing my own palms flat against my chest.
"Breathing is the most important thing to learn to control when cycling magic. Maintaining control of breath helps to guide the magic where you want it to go." He took exaggerated breaths in through his nose and blew them out through his mouth.
I felt ridiculous, but I followed what he was doing, keeping my focus on his dark eyes. He matched my gaze with unflinching intensity and I felt flutters in my chest again.
"Do you feel your magic flair when you're scared or angry?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "But not all the time. It seems to have a mind of its own."
"Part of that is your mind. When you maintain calm and keep your breathing even and your mind focused, you keep the magic from rising up. Once it flairs, it has to be used. You won't be able to send it away. So this tactic, cycling, is to keep the magic simmering just below the surface. It's strategic. If you ever need your magic, you want to release it at the right time, not waste it," he said.
"That's it?" I asked, dropping my hands. "Just breathe and focus?"
"Not quite," he said. "Those are the keys. The final step is to catch the start of the flair and tie it off."
My brow furrowed. None of the magic I'd seen or felt was tangible. It wasn't too different than the knots and flutters I felt in my gut and I knew I couldn't grab a hold of those. How was I supposed to do what he asked?