by Dyan Chick
"Thank you. I know what you risked to do this. I won't let you down," I said.
"I know you won't." She turned away and stepped into the cave.
I followed behind her, feeling a strange sense of detachment from her. I felt like I was isolated, on an island of my own making, not quite fully immersed in any one place.
Chapter Six
I sat alone in the guest bedroom I had been taken to. My whole life had become a series of travels from one place to the next without ever getting an opportunity to be comfortable where I was before I had to pack up and leave once again.
I nearly laughed at my own musings as I realized that in order to pack up, I would need to have some belongings of my own. I had nothing. I came to the Fae realm with nothing, and while I had gained friendship and love and a better sense of who I was, I was nearly as confused as I had been when I arrived. What was to become of me now?
Did I actually have the ability to compete against these females who had been raised from birth for the job of Queen? If the situation were reversed, and I was the one who expected to fight for this title that I had been raised for, that I had dreamed about, being groomed for since birth, I would not be happy to see an offspring of the current Queen entering the competition. I would feel betrayed, and hostile toward the stranger who knew nothing of our ways.
I'd seen it before, the whispers and stares directed toward my human family from those who had money for generations. New money was never taken seriously and was often looked at as a threat.
I wasn't new money here exactly, but it had to be something similar. Shaking my head, I tried to harness the peace and power of the valley my mother had taken me to. She believed in me and I was safe for now.
I straightened my shoulders and pushed the dark thoughts away. I'd been through too much and come too far to give up now. The other candidates wouldn't even meet me until we got to the top four. By then, I'd have proven myself with the first three trials, whatever they were. I'd have to make myself shine. I'd have to find a way to prove I belonged here. I might not know much about the history or culture of Faerie yet, but I had time.
Forcing what I hoped was a determined expression on my face, I marched toward the door and stepped into the hallway. A guard greeted me by inclining his head. "What can I do for you, my Lady?"
Lifting my chin, I worked to affect the heir of importance I thought matched the title he was using to address me. "I'd like to see the Autumn Prince. Can you take me to him?"
Of all my companions, the one who had the best understanding of court life was Cormac. If I was going to learn how to act the part, he was the one who could teach me.
"This way, my Lady," the guard said with a gesture of his hand.
I followed him down a long hallway and continued my quiet contemplation. I'd sure seen the inside of enough palaces to last me a lifetime. If only the social climbing human who had claimed to be my father could see me now. He'd have given anything for a chance like this.
To be fair, he probably would've sacrificed Rose for a chance like this. I wondered how much he knew about the inner workings of the Fae. Had they told him anything other than the fact that they would pay him if they kept me alive? How he would be kicking himself now if he knew who I was and the chance that I had in front of me. Served him right, the man never cared for anyone or anything aside from money and status. And while money could be used to buy wonderful things, it meant nothing if you were alone.
With each step down the hall, my chest tightened with longing contrasted by occasional flutters of hope. I'd only been parted from the princes for a few hours, but seeing a familiar face and feeling a familiar embrace made my throat tighten with need.
How was I going to get through weeks without them when hours felt like days? We turned the corner and then turned another and I heard the sound of male voices growing louder as we approached. The tightness in my chest gave way to relief as I recognized both Cormac and Ethan's voices.
I bypassed the guard and picked up my pace to one that was probably too quick for a lady, but I didn't care. Happiness overtook me as I crossed the threshold. I came to a sudden stop as I caught sight of Tristan. I wasn't ready to deal with him yet.
Ethan was the first on his feet and the first to sweep me up in a hug. He lifted me, spinning in a circle as he pulled me so close to him I lost the ability to breathe for a moment. After setting me down he pressed his forehead against mine.
"You haven't even left yet and already I feel pain from your absence."
"I feel the same," I said. Then I lowered my voice. "Please tell me you worked something out and I don't really have to go."
He straightened, and let out a sigh. I searched his blue eyes for any sign of hope, but all I could find was reserved acceptance. He was going to let me go. They all were. I blinked back tears and swallowed hard, willing the emotion to leave my face. I brushed my fingers over Ethan's cheek and he caught my hand, pressing it against his face then pulling it to his mouth kissing my palm. Clasping my hand in his he lowered it. "It's only a few weeks, you'll be back before we all know it."
"Liar," I said, forcing a smirk on my lips.
Someone cleared their throat and I turned, startled. I'd forgotten that Ethan and I weren't alone. "Should we give you two some privacy?" Tristan asked.
I glared at him. "You could give me my life back."
"I'm not taking your life, princess. Just a couple of weeks of your knowledge. Have you forgotten that you're immortal? In the grand scheme of things it is hardly any time at all."
"How was your time with the Queen?" Cormac asked, seemingly unfazed by the drama playing out before him. "Did you get everything you needed?"
"I actually have some questions for you," I said. "Maybe we can talk?"
"Of course," he said.
Taking a deep breath I walked deeper into the room and settled onto the green velvet sofa. Ethan sat next to me and Cormac and Tristan settled into the sofa across from us.
"Don't you have anything better to do?" I asked, looking at Tristan.
"Not until we return to my castle," he said with a grin.
It took every ounce of my willpower to refrain from rolling my eyes at him. I had a feeling he enjoyed seeing how far he could push me. So I turned my attention to Cormac. "I want to know everything I can about the political structure, social habits, and culture of Faerie. If I'm going to make an attempt at becoming the Queen, I need to know what I'm the Queen of. It's not fair to any of the Fae who live here to have someone ruling them who doesn't even know their history. I didn't even know how weddings worked. I don't know anything of the structure of your religious system. I'm like a child here, and until I know those things, I have no place even pretending I should be the Queen."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tristan lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He looked completely interested in what I was saying.
"You're right," Cormac said. "You need to learn all those things. But I don't think we'll have time to cover all of that before you go."
"Don't you see this is why I can't leave," I said, glancing at Tristan before returning my gaze to Cormac. "Everyone says I need to do this, but I'm not ready. If I'm wasting my time in the Winter Court, I'm not going to stand a chance. How can you just sit by and let him take me away like this?"
"Enough," Cormac said.
"No!" I jumped to my feet. "No. It's not enough. You all keep me in the dark and then you send me away and you don't even care. I'm sick of this and I don't want to be part of any of these games anymore."
"Enough!" Cormac yelled.
I've never heard him raise his voice and the sound startled me, causing me to freeze in place, eyes wide. My lower lip trembled as disappointment coursed through me. When I regained the ability to move, I shook my head at him. "No. Not enough. I expected more from you."
I turned and walked out of the room. If he wasn't going to help me, I'd look for a library. Somewhere I could get some answers. Or maybe I co
uld find Dane. He was one of the only ones who would stand up to Cormac when he got this way.
"Cassia, wait," Cormac called.
I ignored him and continued walking down the hall. I could feel him behind, me but I didn't turn around.
"Cassia," he called again.
I stopped and turned to face him. "You can't keep everything from me. Hiding this from me is going to get me killed. How am I supposed to have a chance at this if I don't know what I'm up against?"
"I know," he said. "It's just that I don't want you to change."
My brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
He sighed. "Your intentions and ideas are so pure. You come from a place of intuition and heart. You aren't letting anyone else influence your opinions. I've tried for years to get things to change around here and I'm always met by excuses about how we can't change because of tradition or because it's the way things are. You don't know how things are so you aren't locked in."
I took a step closer to him and touched his arm. "You're going to have to trust me."
"I know," he said, setting his hand on top of mine.
"Besides, I have something none of the others have." I reached for his face, gently lifting his chin so dark eyes met mine. "You as a moral compass to guide me. If I'm off track, you can help bring me back."
Cormac smiled and clasped my hand with both of his. Slowly, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed me as if he were kissing a dignitary.
I looked away from him as disappointment sank into my gut. Biting down on my lower lip, I pulled my hand away from him. Every inch of my skin was on fire from his touch and I ached to be closer to him. Intimate with him. But he maintained his distance. Every time I thought I'd broken through, he pulled away.
"Have I upset you?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No. It's not you."
"I know I don't always do the right thing, Cassia, but I do care for you. Is it the information? We can talk right now. I'll tell you anything you want," he said.
I looked up at him through my lashes and I saw it: the want in his gaze. I'd seen it before, when we were alone in the stock yard. We'd had a moment before Tristan had torn it away from us.
My heart beat faster and flutters filled my chest. I knew he could feel the pull between us the same as I did. How was he resisting this so well? It was taking all of my willpower to keep my hands from finding their way under his tunic.
Breathing shallow, I took a few steps toward him, closing the gap between us. "It's not that, Cormac. I mean, I want to know all those things, but there's something else. Don't you feel it?"
Fear seized me as I waited, my half confession hanging between us.
"I'm no good for you, Cassia. You know I'd do anything to protect you, but you're better off spending your time with Ethan or Dane. I can't give you what you need."
"That's not true," I said. "If anything, I'm the one who isn't good enough for you. You're a prince. I'm just a changeling."
"You're going to be Queen," Cormac said. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
I reached up and caressed his cheek with my palm, letting my fingers linger at his jaw. I felt him lean into my touch. "No more self-loathing. If it helps, consider that an order from your future Queen."
He smirked. "You're not Queen yet."
"No, I'm not," I agreed. "But with your help, I'm starting to believe I might be. And I insist on having you by my side. In every way possible."
Cormac was very still for a moment, then he sprang to life. Before I realized what he was doing, he had me in his arms, lifting me off the ground as he pressed his mouth against mine.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him hungrily while he walked down the hall. We tumbled into the first closed door we found and he threw me on a couch in an empty study.
My whole body was on fire with need and the place between my legs tingled in anticipation. I clenched my thighs together, unwilling to allow myself to believe anything was going to happen. It was too good and I never wanted it to end. Taking shallow breaths, I tried to steady myself as I looked up into those dark eyes, drinking in every inch of him.
In all the excitement, Cormac's hair had come loose of its usual plait down his back. Long, dark waves of hair hung loose around his face cascading down to his collar bone. He was breathing just as heavy as I was.
I wasn't sure if he was trying to restrain himself or if he was deciding how to make his next move on me. Either way, I was afraid that if I said anything, he'd walk away, leaving me here to wonder what could have been. I couldn't let him stop now. Weaving my fingers through his dark hair, I eased his head closer to mine, bracing myself for another kiss.
Chapter Seven
I pressed my mouth against Cormac's, hungry for the release of the tension I felt every time I was near him. Using my free hand, I grabbed hold of his upper arm digging my fingernails into his firm bicep.
Cormac pulled away from me, eyes wild, his breathing heavy. He smiled down at me, in a way that made him look like a predator about to devour his prey. His expression sent the slightest sense of alarm though me but it was quickly muffled by my want. The sensation of it sent a thrill through me that escalated into a tingling sensation low in my belly. I had never wanted someone more than I wanted Cormac.
I reached for him again, intending to pull him back to the kiss he'd broken but he pulled away, grabbing hold of both of my wrists in one of his large hands. Taking shallow breaths, I stared up at him, desperate for more. We seemed to be exchanging a silent conversation, unable to express our needs and desires with words. It was as if he was fighting the way he felt. Like an animal in heat trying to break free of the mating instinct.
I leaned forward, wrists still bound, and nipped at his earlobe.
Cormac let out a growl then buried his face into my neck then he traced his tongue along my neck, up to my ear where he returned the nip on my ear.
I gasped, suddenly aware of how sensitive every inch of my skin was. The fabric of my dress was making my nipples uncomfortable and I shifted, trying to reposition myself. I wanted to free myself of my clothing but when I tried to move my hands, Cormac's grip tightened. With my wrists still bound, I couldn't take charge. I felt deliciously trapped by Cormac's whim. It was frustrating and amazing at the same time.
I clenched my thighs together as the wetness between my legs increased. Every inch of me was on fire and I was desperate for release. "Please." The word came out as a whisper between heaving breaths.
Cormac lifted my wrists above my head and using his free hand, he unlaced the top of my dress. The fabric hung loose, resting just above my nipples but he didn't touch me.
I whined in disappointed frustration, making a sound that was more animal than I thought I could make. Before I could beg again, Cormac released my wrists. He lifted me off of him, leaving me in a breathless heap on the couch.
I held my breath, frozen in fear as he took a step away from where I was sprawled out on the couch. My brow furrowed. "Don't stop."
That was all he needed. In an instant, we was back in front of me, pulling me up to a sitting position. Then, he dropped to his knees and lifted my skirt until it was bunched up around my waist. He opened my knees, spreading them apart. I felt my cheeks heat as he kissed my inner thigh. His mouth worked its way up to my center and I felt the heat of his breath against me while he continued to kiss me over my undergarments.
My head rolled back against the couch and I moaned in pleasure. His fingers teased me, still over the thin layer of fabric and I moaned again. It wasn't enough for climax and the agony of waiting was making me whimper. I reached down to remove my undergarments, but Cormac caught my hands, lifting them over my head again.
"Not yet," he said.
"I want you," I said. "All of you."
"Not yet," he said again, grinning.
He released my hands, then slid his fingers up the bodice of my tunic until he reached my breasts. He started off gentle, slowly caressing my breasts wo
rking his way to the sensitive nipples. I yelped as he squeezed them at the same time. A rush of pain mingled with the pleasure of his touch as he went back to the gentle caress. I leaned into him, encouraging him to continue, desperate for more. He lifted the dress over my head, leaving my breasts exposed to him. His mouth was on me again, tongue flicking each sensitive nipple, before I had time to adjust to the chill in the air. I wove my fingers through his hair as I held the back of his head against my chest. He continued to work his tongue and mouth over my breasts until I arched my back in pleasure, letting out staggered breaths as the feeling built inside me.
Just as the pleasure was coming to a peak, Cormac pulled away then leaned over me, boxing me in with his arms on either side. He made me feel small, and I had forgotten how much larger he was than me. For a second, I felt the slightest fear trickle down my spine as I realized how much I was at his mercy. The place between my legs throbbed in want as I realized that I liked being in his control right now.
Cormac leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. He was hungry, aggressive, unrelenting as his tongue pushed into my mouth until it met mine. He pulled back on the kiss, then bit down on my lower lip just hard enough to send a flicker of pain with the pleasure. It was as if he knew how to walk a tightrope between the two, keeping the pleasure at the forefront while the pain was just enough to push me over the edge. My undergarments were soaked and I let out a moan as he pulled his mouth off of mine.
Cormac stepped back and kicked off his boots, then removed all of his clothing from his bottom half, releasing his erection.
My eyes widened at the sight of him exposed and truly vulnerable in front of me for the first time. But that thought didn't last long as I watched him grow right before my eyes to an even more impressive size. Nervous, I clenched my legs together, afraid my body wouldn't stretch to accommodate him.