“Let me know if that rocking horse ever goes on sale.”
“Sure thing,” he replied as I walked out the door.
Once outside, I glanced back over my shoulder. To be honest, I wasn’t sure whether I was looking at the horse or looking for Rob.
—
Jen was having a Fourth of July barbeque and invited me and TJ. I wasn’t sure whether I would go or not. The fourth would have been Tom’s thirty-first birthday. We always celebrated with sparklers on his cake. I didn’t think I could spend that day with anyone else. Just me and TJ.
Jen had been excited when she invited me to her party, telling me about the themed foods she was making, the people she was looking forward to introducing me to. I should have told her then that I wouldn’t be able to make it, but I didn’t want to put a damper on her enthusiasm. Then I felt guilty, like I’d led her on.
Two days before the Fourth, I realized I shouldn’t put it off any longer and texted to tell her I couldn’t go to her party. She seemed disappointed, but I knew it was for the best. While I would have liked to meet more new people, I didn’t want to try to make small talk when all my thoughts were with Tom.
TJ begged me to make a sparkler cake anyway. “It’s a tradition,” he said, his big blue eyes, so like Tom’s, pleading with me. “I promise to help and even do dishes.” We both knew his version of helping with the dishes would be licking the beaters. Still, I shopped for ingredients and sparklers while TJ was in camp.
The Fourth was Saturday and TJ was home all day. We spent the morning making Tom’s special cake, which didn’t take long given it’s boxed Angel Food with chocolate whipped cream frosting. I’m pretty sure Tom picked chocolate for TJ’s sake. As predicted, TJ sat on a stool and licked the beaters. He also got to stick the sparklers in, his contribution every year since he was old enough to put them in without ending up with frosting all over himself. After lighting the sparklers, I took some pictures of TJ’s face next to the cake, a Happy Birthday Dad card on the other side.
From the front porch swing, over the tops of the houses, we could see faraway fireworks. We sat there eating our cake as we watched the bright, colorful explosions. It was bittersweet. TJ and I each tried to hide our sadness from the other, but I knew, once we retreated to our rooms, we’d each give in to the grief that still had us firmly in its grip.
Chapter 6
O
J
uly fifth dawned sunny and bright. And hot. I peered in the bathroom mirror at my red-rimmed puffy eyes. I needed a couple of teabags to reduce the swelling. TJ wasn’t up yet, and I made my way to the kitchen as quietly as I could, being careful not to wake him.
Minutes later, I was again lying in bed with the damp bags on my eyes. It had been a painful night, filled with thoughts of Tom, of how big the hole was he’d left behind in my heart, of how much I missed him. I’d hugged my pillow, trying to pretend I was holding Tom. That only made it worse. But this morning, I would put it all aside. Tom wasn’t coming back and I had to go on living. For TJ and for myself.
I gave myself half an hour for the teabags to work, then peeled them off my eyes and carted them into the bathroom to toss. I examined my face hopefully. It wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier. It would do.
I hummed a little as I brushed my teeth and stepped into the shower, scrubbing my shampoo-laden hair and rinsing off coconut-lime soap, feeling refreshed.
Wrapping my hair in a towel and pulling on my terrycloth robe, I stuck my head in TJ’s room, finding him still asleep.
Good. That meant I had time to dry my hair and dress before I needed to start breakfast.
I was surprised I felt as good as I did. Maybe all the tears had cleansed the grief from my heart. At least for a little while.
By the time TJ ambled downstairs, I had scrambled eggs and bacon warming on the stovetop.
“Hi, honey,” I said. “Hungry?”
“Um hm,” he said, rubbing his eyes.
“You okay?”
“Dot was crying last night,” he said through a yawn.
“Dot? Who’s Dot?”
“You know. Dot. Alexa’s Dot.”
I stared at the back of his head, frowning, as I dished up his breakfast.
“Alexa can’t cry. Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?”
“Mom. I’m eight. I’m not a kid anymore.” He looked at me with a scowl. “I don’t imagine things.”
“Tell me exactly what happened, then.” I slid onto the chair opposite him at the table with my own plate of food and gave him my full attention.
“My light was off. Well, except for the night light. And I was thinking about camp on Monday. That’s when I heard it.”
“Heard Alexa?”
“Yes. It sounded like this.” He made an exaggerated sobbing sound.
“But how do you know it came from Dot?”
“Because I told her to stop and she did.”
“That’s strange, all right, sweetie. I can’t imagine what it was, but call me next time it happens so I can hear it, too.”
He nodded as he stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth, apparently tired of talking about it.
I thought about TJ’s odd story while I finished breakfast and stacked the dishes in the dishwasher, then forgot it as I dialed Jen’s number to apologize again for missing her party.
“We missed you!” she said, a smile in her voice. “People wanted to meet you.”
“Sure they did,” I said with just the right amount of skepticism. “It was . . . the Fourth is Tom’s birthday, and I needed to be with TJ.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. No wonder you didn’t want to come to a party. It totally makes sense.”
“Thanks for understanding. We had a cake to commemorate the day. It wouldn’t have been right to not honor it, at least this first year. But today’s another day, and TJ and I are going to the town square to see if anything’s going on there today. Any chance you want to meet us there?”
“What time are you going?”
“In an hour or so. I want to do something fun for TJ.”
“Sounds great. I can’t wait to meet him.”
—
The town square was busy with people celebrating the Fourth of July weekend. Booths decorated in red, white and blue lined the street, selling everything from T-shirts and jewelry to artwork and knickknacks, along with several food vendors who kept the revelers well-fed. Jen found us by the hotdog booth chowing down on holiday fare that we normally made a wide berth around. TJ had a hotdog—plain, of course—and potato salad. I’d loaded my plate with a burger and fries. And a ton of ketchup. Jen slipped onto the picnic table bench opposite TJ and smiled warmly.
“That looks good,” she said to TJ. “Do you recommend it?”
He nodded vigorously and gulped the bite of hotdog. “It’s great! Don’t put that goop on it, though. That ruins it.”
“He means mustard and relish. He hasn’t progressed to condiments yet.”
“I don’t like them, Mom,” he retorted.
“I know, sweetie. Maybe someday you will, though.”
He shook his head as he took another bite, sure that day would never come.
“The burger’s pretty good, too,” I said. “Go grab something and come have lunch with us.”
Jen headed for the burger grill and was back at our table in no time, plopping down next to TJ.
“The town square is really fun on holidays. I’m glad you’re here to experience it,” she said to TJ before turning to me. “After we eat, I’ll introduce you to a few of the locals. I know just about all of them.”
We sat enjoying the sun, which hadn’t reached insufferable yet. Jen glanced at TJ, and said, “How’s summer camp going? Your mom said you made some new friends?”
“It’s cool. I like the hiking. I hope we see bears!”
“Please, God, no!” I said. “Thanks for putting that idea in my head.”
Jen laug
hed. “We don’t see a lot of those around here. But, who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.”
“That would be the best thing ever!” TJ’s face radiated with excitement at the possibility.
“Come on.” She bumped him with her shoulder. “Let’s explore the festivities.”
We stopped at almost every booth in the park, and Jen introduced me to the person manning each one. She wasn’t kidding about knowing just about everyone in town.
TJ suddenly perked up and waved. “Mom, there’s Mike and Kevin!” He looked at me over his shoulder for permission, and rushed off to join his friends.
“Let’s go say hi to their parents,” Jen said. “If you haven’t met them yet, I’ll introduce you.”
A small group of people sat on blankets, a couple of coolers holding down the edges, and the boys gamboled nearby.
A woman who seemed a little older than me waved and invited us to join them. She moved over, making room for Jen and me on the blanket.
Jen leaned over and gave her a hug. “Melissa, this is TJ’s mom, Kelly. I thought you should all meet since it appears your kids are fast friends now.”
I greeted Melissa and she motioned toward another woman sharing the blanket. “Sherry, this is TJ’s mom, Kelly.”
“I love your outfit, Kelly” Sherry said, indicating my white cotton shorts and light blue short-sleeved top.
I laughed and made a little curtsy, not easy from a sitting position. “Thanks. It’s courtesy of one of the cute shops on Main Street.”
“I’m pretty sure I know which one. Love shopping there.”
In a few short minutes I’d met Melissa and Sherry, their husbands, and a few other friends. My little circle seemed to be expanding. It was nice to lounge around in the afternoon sun. I felt almost normal again.
—
“Let’s go check out the sidewalk sales.” Jen stood and pulled me up from my spot on the blanket. “It’s okay if TJ hangs out with you guys for a little while?” she asked Melissa, who smiled and waved us off with a “Sure.”
We browsed the boutique where I’d previously dropped $200, and I managed to find a white cotton eyelet sleeveless shift dress and cemented the store’s position as being my future go-to spot for whenever I needed to find something cute. I picked through a tray of accessories while Jen paid for the shorts and T-shirts she’d picked out.
As we passed the shoe store half a block down, Jen grabbed my arm and dragged me inside to point at a pair of white sandals she thought would be perfect with the outfit I’d just bought.
“It’s a good thing you work for a bank,” I said. “I might need a loan if we keep finding things I need to have.”
She laughed. “I’ve got you covered.”
When we passed the antique store, the skin horse stared longingly at me through the front window. Or maybe it was me with the longing look. “Let’s go in here,” I said, turning in the door.
I glanced at the counter, searching for Rob, but an older woman was minding the store. She waved a hi to us, asking if she could be of help.
I started to say no, but then approached her. “Do you have any chains?” I pointed at my neck. “Maybe a longish one?”
“We do.” She pulled a tray out of the glass display case. “Here are a few. Are you looking for gold, silver, what?”
“I want it to go with this.” I dug in my purse searching for the pendant. My fingers closed around it and pulled it out. I opened my hand to show her.
“Oh, you bought that pretty piece. I didn’t realize it was gone.”
“I did. It just spoke to me somehow. The guy who was in here sold it to me for a dollar. I hope that was all right?”
“Oh, Rob. Yes, of course it was all right. I’m glad it found a home.” She smiled as she lifted a silver chain. “How does this one do?”
I set the pendant on the counter next to the chain. “Let me try it on.” I threaded it through the pendant’s loop and fastened it around my neck. “What do you think? I asked, turning to Jen. “Is this too long?”
“No, I like that length, and the pendant looks great on you. You look very elegant wearing it, with your long blonde hair falling around your shoulders.” She comically wiggled her eyebrows.
I gave her a playful shove. “I guess I’ll take it,” I said to the saleslady with a laugh. “I don’t need a bag. I’ll wear it. Since my friend thinks it makes me look elegant.”
She smiled and rang up the sale, and I handed her my Visa. As she handed it back to me, along with the slip to sign, I asked, “I don’t suppose you know anything about the necklace? Rob didn’t know where it came from.”
“Actually, I found it while hiking up in the Red Creek Range. It was in the path, and I accidentally kicked it and it glinted in the sunlight, otherwise I wouldn’t have seen it. I brought it back and cleaned it up. As far as where it was before it wound up on the hiking trail, I have no idea.”
“Oh, well, that’s more information than I had before. I really like the pendant, and I’m glad you had a chain so I can wear it.”
“I’m glad you like it. I’m Gina, by the way. You’re a friend of Jen’s?”
“I am, lucky for me. I’m Kelly.”
“Why, thank you,” Jen said, nudging me with her elbow.
“Well, I’m glad to meet you, Kelly,” Gina said. “I hope you’ll stop in here to browse every now and then.”
“I’m sure I will. I came in here the first time to look at that rocking horse in the window.”
“Isn’t it wonderful? It needs a good home, in case you know of any.” She winked.
“I’d love to have it. Who knows? Maybe one of these days, if it’s still here, I’ll decide I can’t live without it.”
A smile crossed her face as she gave me a knowing nod. Jen and I waved goodbye and headed back to the town square. I wanted to pick up TJ and stop at the market on the way home.
Jen gave TJ a hug. “I used to babysit your new best friends, you know.”
“Really?” He looked up at her shyly. “I wouldn’t mind if you want to babysit me, too.”
“I don’t really do that anymore, but you never know. Maybe I will sometime.”
I looked at TJ. I think my son had a little bit of a crush on my new friend.
Chapter 7
O
A
frightened “Mom” roused me from a fitful sleep. I swung my legs off the bed, the hardwood cool against my feet. “I’m coming,” I called as I rushed to TJ’s room. I found him sitting up in bed, his eyes big and worried.
“What is it, sweetie?” I asked as I sat beside him. “Did you have a bad dream?”
“Mom, Alexa was crying again.”
“What do you mean?” I tipped his face up and looked him in the eyes. “Alexa can’t cry. She’s not a real person. Tell me what happened.”
“I was asleep and I heard a little girl crying. There wasn’t anybody in my room but I could still hear it.”
“Maybe you were dreaming.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. “I wasn’t dreaming, Mom.”
“Okay, then. Maybe it just sounded like crying.”
“There were words, too.”
“Words?”
He nodded. “I said, ‘is anybody there’ and the crying stopped. Then Alexa said Help us.” His serious eyes dared me to not believe him.
“Let’s ask her,” I said. “Do you want me to ask Alexa?”
He nodded, wide eyes watching me.
“Alexa, are you crying?”
No. I’m not crying. Maybe it’s raining . . . in the cloud.
“Alexa, is someone in there with you crying?”
I don’t know that one.
“See, honey. It wasn’t Alexa.”
“But I heard it.” He turned his face away from me. “You don’t believe me.”
“Honey, I believe you heard something. I’m just not sure what it was. Do you want m
e to sleep in here with you tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, let me turn off the light.” My fingers were on the switch when an item caught my eye and I paused.
“TJ, why is my necklace on your dresser?” I picked it up and showed it to him.
“I don’t know. Why would it be in my room?”
“I left it in my room. How did it get here?”
“I didn’t take it. I don’t know why it’s here.”
“There are only two of us in this house. I didn’t bring it to your room, so you must have. I’m not mad, honey, but I want you to tell me the truth.”
There was no mistaking the hurt in his eyes. “I didn’t do it, Mom. Honest.”
He looked like he was telling the truth. I’m pretty good at reading my son, and I would swear he wasn’t lying. Confused, I shook my head and turned off the light. “Okay. No problem.”
I climbed in beside him and pulled the covers up over his thin shoulders. He rolled on his side and I draped my arm over him. I didn’t know what was going on in here, but I intended to make sure he wouldn’t be afraid the rest of the night.
I think we both slept well, and if Alexa sobbed her little heart out, neither of us heard her.
In the light of day, the odd experiences didn’t seem so urgent, but I’m not gonna lie. The events from the night before worried me. Twice TJ thought he heard crying in his room. What would cause that? And I was more than a little concerned about the incident with my necklace. I knew I hadn’t taken it into his room, and he insisted he didn’t touch it. I’d never known him to lie to me, and he didn’t look like he was hiding anything. But nobody was in the house except us. If there was a logical explanation for what was going on, I wanted to hear it. Until then, I had to wait to see if anything else was going to happen. There were enough other things to deal with, and I didn’t want to dwell on it.
After I dropped TJ off at the Methodist church parking lot, I decided to treat myself to a mocha at Jane’s Special Coffee. Jen insisted that the locally-owned coffee shop would beat anything I’d had in a big city. The day having already reached eighty-four degrees, the cool interior of the coffee shop was a welcome respite, and the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans was heavenly. I ordered a mocha and moved out of the way of others waiting to place their orders. Based on the crowd, I was thinking Jen must be right about the quality. When my name was called, I collected my coffee and pushed through the door, nearly colliding with Rob Porter on his way in. Only his hands gripping my bare shoulders prevented me from crashing into him.
Under the Willows Page 3