by Matt Kahn
When you are unaware of how truly healing each reaction can be, you are likely to perceive it from within the framework of ego. In ego, it’s common to project blame or act out a variety of defenses toward whomever you believe is the cause of your outburst.
Due to the discomfort and inconvenient nature of certain feelings, it makes sense why so many people would hope to avoid being honest since it seems to instigate so many emotional reactions. Yet, when you know that whatever you or anyone else is feeling is a healing taking place, you are able to harmonize with the will of the Universe to consciously advance the evolution of humanity—one heart-centered interaction at a time.
Once everyday life is recognized as a playground of spiritual evolution, the real goal is learning how to courageously stand at the forefront of your own healing journey. As you accept how incredibly healing each moment can be, you are no longer obligated to judge yourself, even if failing to act in a loving manner.
No matter how much effort is exhausted, the goal of acting in a heart-centered way does not occur on a regular basis when your nervous system is overstimulated.
This is why unraveling the overstimulated nervous system in the most loving manner is the central theme of the new spiritual paradigm. By acknowledging how often the opportunity to heal yourself and others is offered throughout the play of life, your attachment to ego begins to dissolve. From that space, you are no longer victimized by reactions or in need of blaming anyone for how you feel. Equally so, you don’t have to be afraid of projecting your feelings onto others since it is only likely to occur when bottling up your emotions in an attempt to hold it all in.
During the course of an emotional reaction, it may feel as if you are about to explode and cover everyone in sight with the ferocity of inner turmoil. However, if you welcome each sensation with openness and breathe into the center of whatever is felt, you can hold a sacred space for each moment of healing without being engulfed in discomfort, frustration, or pain.
When you do not openly welcome emotions, the overstimulated nervous system is fueled into greater perpetual motion. Every time someone is blamed or judged for a reaction you are having, the cells being healed are immediately filled back up with patterns of emotional debris. This can lead to future moments of emotional reaction in which life orchestrates a series of events just to help you revisit the feelings that cause you to lash out, shut down, or withdraw.
As each pattern is faced, you are liberated from tendencies to fight against the catalysts that inspire your most powerful moments of transformation. Through a renewed interest in welcoming your feelings and being honest with others, the more easily life can guide you into relationships that support your highest evolution.
While some people believe others cannot handle their truth, the honesty I am suggesting is not a weapon of any kind. Radical honesty has nothing to do with confrontation, accusation, or blame. It is an instinctive level of discernment in noticing the difference between projecting accusations and openly sharing what is felt in your experience.
Deeper Along Your Healing Journey
Another relieving aspect to radical honesty is remembering that your evolution occurs during every sincere sharing, no matter how anyone responds. This is because their response reveals what is ready to be released out of their energy field, just as your willingness to share assists in your healing as well. Whether you are being triggered or triggering another, the goal is to let go of your defenses in support of the evolution of all.
Sometimes the best support is letting someone else be heard. In other instances, it is giving someone the space they need. In whatever way it is offered, life’s most inconceivable miracles enter your reality once you respect the healing journey that many don’t even know is taking place.
When a discussion quickly escalates into a heated argument, the point is not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing with anyone or needing that person to validate your position. It is an opportunity to witness how cleverly everything has been orchestrated to inspire personal growth. No matter the situation, any sense of discomfort acts as a clear reminder that you are not being completely honest with yourself or others. That is because the discomfort represents cellular memories in need of being released that are held in a stagnant position through an aversion to honesty.
This emphasizes the most important meaning of the phrase “the truth shall set you free.” There are many who desperately want to be set free, but not nearly as many who are willing to set themselves free by standing in the presence of truth.
Such a truth isn’t initially asking you to admit anything to others but to answer the call of radical honesty by confessing the nature of your experiences to yourself. Once you’ve admitted the truth to yourself, your ability to intimately share with others becomes far less threatening. During any moment of honesty, you can also acknowledge the important decisions you may be avoiding that remain in your best interest to follow.
Even if your honest sharing brings relationships or career opportunities to an abrupt end, this is the grace of life’s inherent perfection showing you how incredible your path is meant to be, once you’re pointed in a brand-new direction. With renewed faith in the will of the Universe, the precision of integrity clears out of your way that which no longer serves you. Even if your life is turned upside down, that can only create space for greater horizons to appear.
In your own unique way, you can acknowledge radical honesty as one of the most powerful spiritual practices of the new spiritual paradigm. When you remember that whatever you are feeling is healing, you can rejoice in the number of times per day you are working in collaboration with the Universe to uplift the world.
For many, there is an understandable difficulty in welcoming emotions that are reminders of a painful past. You can resign yourself to embracing particular feelings, but ultimately, you cannot control whether or not your innocence feels threatened and chooses to hide. Despite how stuck you may feel, you are here to dissolve the veil of denial with the power of your own loving support.
Whether you begin with one statement of “I love you” or are able to repeat your personal love statement to yourself for a few minutes at a time, it is like reminding a child who hides in a closet that it is finally safe to come out and play. The analogy of the child is your own innocent nature hiding in the closet of your heart. Once it feels safe to come out of hiding, you are sure to regain its trust for the journey ahead.
Above and beyond any spiritual attainment, your willingness to be completely honest and loving with yourself is what reflects the maturity of an open heart. Even if you find yourself afraid to be honest, take the time to love the one who is afraid and release more cellular memory out of your energy field.
An Empathic Child
As I came to understand the inner workings of ego in adulthood, I instantly remembered myself as an empathic child. I clearly saw my young self as an “energetic sponge,” sensing the unresolved emotional debris in the hearts of everyone around me. I then “saw” that as a very small child, I had made a subconscious decision: If others seem blocked and unwilling to love me as I am, then let me replicate the conditioning I feel in their field in attempt to free their heart.
In such an innocent way, I thought that once they were free of the conditioning I felt weighing them down, there would be nothing blocking their heart from giving me the love I so eagerly desired. Even though my intention was to take on their pain to lighten the load, I was merely replicating their perception of experiences within the cells of my body. As this process of replication occurred, I was attempting to be a perfect mirror of their conditioning, hoping that if they could see themselves reflected in me maybe they would be more emotionally open with me.
On some level, I did this to be more like the world I viewed as a way of creating resonance with the overstimulated nervous systems of those around me. I then saw how the overstimulated nervous systems of all beings created a global energy field known as the collective unconscious. This col
lective unconscious had manufactured a cultural sense of agreement that an overstimulated nervous system is the normal way in which human beings operate in everyday society.
As those memories continued, I saw that prior to coming to this planet and incarnating into my family, I was like an angel sent from heaven who agreed to replicate this conditioning in order to inspire greater awakening for all. I agreed to do this, so at a certain point in my evolutionary process, I would begin waking up to transmute the conditioning I had collected. Through the interconnection of One, I knew such a process of transmutation would create a ripple effect to wake up all beings in existence. I realized that I purposefully incarnated into a family to take on the conditioning they carried as a way of liberating countless lineages of conditioning throughout history that had yet to be resolved.
As I started to understand that an attachment to ego was literally as gripping and intense as one’s nervous system is overstimulated, I started to recognize some very interesting connections.
When the door of your heart is closed, you tend to feel separate from the truth of your own divinity. This makes it nearly involuntary to negotiate, fight, defend, and seek ways to regularly enhance an imaginary identity of ego. With no malice toward the phenomenon of ego, I saw it as a place my innocence hid until my healing journey began.
As I learned to love what arises, I noticed how quickly my body would relax. In a state of relaxation, my innocence felt safe enough to come out of hiding. The more I relaxed, the more consciousness expanded. As this occurred, I spontaneously experienced the opening of chakras, or energy centers in the body; the activation of dormant DNA strands; the emergence of greater intuitive gifts; along with many other spiritual milestones that many pursue with exhaustion.
With the emergence of these activations that only love can inspire, I was able to harmonize with life in a way that everything seemed to conspire in my favor. It also became apparent that anything occurring in my favor was also the highest possibility for everyone around me.
From that renewed space of energetic alignment, I could manifest things just as quickly as I imagined them while drawing toward me more conscious versions of each person, even if it drastically differed from the way they acted outside of my presence. Even throughout the various stages of enlightenment and beyond, I discovered that every single goal explored on a spiritual path effortlessly occurs as your nervous system is unraveled—one “I love you” at a time.
As a result, the need to fight, defend, and negotiate vanished, as a heart-centered consciousness was revealed. From that space, there was no one to wrong or any need to be right. There was simply a willingness to notice the activity of life and respond with love for the evolution of all.
Ending the Struggle with Discontent
What if there were no need to be right? What if you were no longer interested in being defensive toward anyone, even when overlooked or wrongly accused? What if instead of focusing on what you don’t have or how unfair life seems to be, you welcomed the most incredible possibilities into your life by opening your heart? Perhaps you might discover an open space within each scene of your play, where there are opportunities to act as honestly, accepting, and supportive as only love knows how to be.
When a brand-new way of being is discovered, you are able to see nearly every battle in life as a fight against the feeling of discontent. An obvious sign of discontent is whenever there is a person or circumstance that you blame for any experience.
In fact, simply by surrendering the tendency to blame throughout stressful or painful situations, you may experience far less pain and stress along the way. This helps to free you from the pitfalls of suffering instead of perpetuating it through defensive behavior. It’s normal to oppose discontent when it can be seen as exactly the way you don’t wish to feel. Yet, it is the impulse to deny, avoid, shut down, or lash out against any perceivable cause that prevents you from discovering something more meaningful about it.
A Compulsive Pattern of Seeking
Underneath the feeling of discontent is a compulsive pattern of seeking. Within this subconscious pattern, there is an impulse to seek out more of something in an attempt to avoid the despair of having less. For example, many people believe they will have less anxiety as long as they seek out more forms of security. It’s as if the ego believes, “If I add more things to my collection, the inevitability of loss won’t sting so much.”
The subconscious pattern of needing to gain something in an attempt to avoid the pain of having less is woven throughout the fabric of society. Perhaps someone who grows frustrated with their career makes a drastic move around the globe to an exotic new country. Shortly after their arrival, the new location doesn’t feel as new anymore as the ego looks in alternative directions for additional forms of reinvention.
Maybe in the aftermath of losing a loved one, an ego suppresses its pain by purchasing luxury items or tries reliving the past to remember a time when life was happier.
Of course, not every decision or purchase suggests an ego at play. It’s the beliefs you have about your choices or the hope of what such things will bring you that indicate whether an ego is collecting more as a remedy for having less.
Even on a spiritual path, the tendency to seek, as a way of trying to resolve the feeling of discontent, acts as a telltale sign of how overstimulated a nervous system happens to be. In some instances, ego can use a spiritual path to seek more clarity in hopes of having less confusion. That can even be an aspiration of the highest order to seek more liberation as a way of suffering less often. The ego can also rearrange the polarity of more or less by trying to have fewer thoughts or less fear as a way of creating more peace of mind.
While nearly any aspect of life can be a way for the ego to reinvent itself, even adopting a new and improved spiritual persona along the way, the one thing ego cannot use for perpetual reinvention is love. That is because love is a high vibrational energy that directly addresses the source of ego.
When love is invited into your life, it unravels the subconscious patterns that keep you so dissatisfied through a constant need to seek. This means you don’t have to exhaust yourself by living under a spiritual microscope. Instead, you can make opening your heart your central point of focus and allow love to find a way to resolve it all for you.
The Cycle of Acquisition and Elimination
When the nervous system is overstimulated, the ego oscillates between cycles of acquisition and elimination. First, it seeks out more in an attempt to be farther away from the perceived hardship of less. Once it has satisfied a momentary hunger for more, it inevitably switches gears and uses the same seeking energy to eliminate things from its life.
An example of this could be an insatiable desire for a soul mate relationship that is believed to be the remedy for loneliness. More often than not, the one seeking such a partner finds one. Maybe the romance lasts weeks, months, or even years, until the one who pursued a relationship so passionately now believes their happiness will be found in being single. Once they are single and available, they soon explore the possibilities of finding a different partner, repeating the same pattern no matter how long the new relationship may or may not last.
Of course, there are also people in relationships who would be much happier if they left, but when the cycle of acquisition and elimination continues in such a predictable, repetitive manner, it might be time to take a closer look at the forces that influence you.
You might even be reading this and thinking, I’ve become aware of these patterns and cycles, which is why I’m on a spiritual path attempting to resolve them. This can get even more frustrating when the very path you pursue to address the issues of the ego becomes a new way for the ego to reinvent itself.
It can also become more complicated if a spiritual path teaches you to monitor or oppose your ego only to create a new spiritual persona that patrols your psyche to make sure no ego makes an appearance.
Instead of overwhelming yourself by trying
to keep it all straight or working so hard to do the right thing, I invite you to immerse yourself in love—no matter how many patterns, beliefs, judgments, or self-defeating habits remain active in you. The fact that you are here reading these words offers renewed hope that life is pointing you in a direction where your greatest success is ensured.
By loving the one who can’t do anything right, loving the one who feels like a failure, or even loving the one who is burdened by discontent, you immediately turn a corner in the direction of true heartfelt relief. This is why I say you always deserve more love, not less. By offering more love to your true innocent nature on a regular basis, the measurements of gains and losses, along with the patterns of acquisition and elimination quickly fall apart.
In essence, being caught in patterns of ego creates the very discontent that an ego is trying to resolve. That is, until you directly address the core of human suffering by returning to love—once and for all.
Once you recognize each compulsion for more of this or less of that as ways in which your inner child cries out for love, a world of pain, stress, injustice, and antagonism becomes a reality of peace, freedom, inspiration, and joy.
5
The Overactive Mind
IN THE PRACTICE of loving what arises, the heart isn’t always the part of the body calling out for your attention. While the heart can always remain your central point of focus, it is helpful to unravel the nervous system by sending love to an overactive mind. As your life experiences may reveal, your mind may be as noisy as your heart is closed. By allowing the mind to be embraced as a child in need of kindness, support, acceptance, and attention, you are able to end each conflict within yourself by honoring the one who cannot be silenced any longer. Many have turned their mind into battlefields in response to the hurtful, destructive, or even judgmental thoughts that consume their attention.
While it makes sense to imagine how peaceful your mind would become if only you could unplug it from the outlet, the mind only remains overactive as an attention-seeking device the Universe uses to help you return to love.