I tilted my head to the side to blink at him. “How did I do that?”
Spencer kept his focus on the crackling, popping fire. “I was about to make a huge mess of my first kiss with Ashley.”
“Oh, man. Then I’m doubly sorry about my timing.” That may have been the biggest lie I’d ever told Spencer.
“I’ve got a confession.” Spencer finally looked at me. “Remember the kissing booth, when I didn’t want to have to kiss?”
“Yes.”
“Hold on to your hat—that’s because I’m not real confident about my kissing technique.”
“You’re not?” I’d never known Spencer to lack confidence in anything. It wasn’t that he was full of himself. He simply wasn’t afraid to challenge himself or afraid to fail. Yet not with kissing. Huh.
“Have you kissed a lot of girls? I mean, do you know what you’re doing?”
“I’ve kissed one girl,” he said, turning his head back up to the sky.
One? My hot, smart, funny, talented best friend had only kissed one girl? My heart stuttered in my chest. Maybe even stopped for an instant, and I had to mentally shock it with paddles to get it going again.
“One girl? Was it in fifth grade in a closet with Essatay Artinmay?”
“If that’s pig Latin for Tessa Martin, then yes.” His blue gaze hit mine, and his sweet sincerity was like a soft punch to my stomach. “So, see why I’m a little nervous? I might totally suck at kissing.”
“Okaaay, so here’s a crazy idea . . .” I was having an out of body experience. Like when your mouth takes over, and the rest of you is floating overhead, and you plaster your hands over your eyes so you don’t have to watch the train wreck in progress. “Do you want my help?”
“Help?” The fire made his eyes glitter like living flames. Sort of like some zombie might have turned him, and I shivered in my seat. “Like Google how to kiss? That kind of help?”
“I mean, help you practice. It’s not exactly something you can ask anyone else. Or maybe Cody will help you. What do I know?”
“Practice? You mean you and I kiss?”
I couldn’t decide if his tone sounded shocked like, you and I perform brain surgery? Or was his tone more relaxed like, you and I bake cookies?
“It usually takes two people, yes. At least, that’s what it said on Google.” It was a good thing it was dark out because I could feel the bright flags of heat in my cheeks. “You know what? Nevermind. You probably have cooties anyway.”
“Whoa, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’d love your help.”
“Fine.” I sighed, making it sound like it was a huge sacrifice. “You ready? Go ahead and kiss me, and I’ll let you know. I’ll give you a totally unbiased score, and I won’t let the East German judge have a say.”
“Okay, here goes.” Spencer leaned forward, and I met him halfway.
He slid his hands around my jaw, pulled in a deep breath, and pressed his lips to mine. The warm firmness of his lips instantly shut down my brain.
I fell into his kiss, and I never hit bottom. I felt the pull, the pull of the black hole opening up and sucking me into an alternate universe where all my crazy daydreams became a reality. The top of my head tingled, and some bird fluttered wildly in my chest like it was trying to take flight. Talk about being lost—I was lost in Spencer’s kiss and didn’t want to be rescued.
The kiss didn’t shock me. The kiss felt perfect. What was shocking was when it ended. When his lips slowly left mine, and we sat—both breathless, his forehead resting against mine—while I scrambled to climb out of the kiss and back to reality.
Sitting back, I ignored my racing heart and replaced the former biggest lie I’d ever told him with the new updated biggest lie, “That was okay. I think you’re fine.”
“Only okay?” Spencer leaned toward me again, looking hotter and more dangerous than the fire. “I really think I should try again.”
“Not necessary. I mean fine as in very good. You do not have to worry.” Me? I was so not fine. I needed to worry because I was in deep trouble. I’d been hiding from my feelings for Spencer for a long time. I’d even been able to pretend nothing had changed with our friendship. The friendship that meant everything to me. The friendship I refused to risk losing.
His kiss blew up the biggest lie of all, revealing the sad truth: I was in love with my best friend. My totally off-limits best friend.
Which was why I was going to stuff it all back down.
I stood, needing to get away from Spencer. I needed to focus on as many non-Spencer things as possible. In fact . . .
“Go ahead and give Brian my number.”
“What?” Spencer stood, his forehead creased in concern before he fell into step next to me as we walked toward the gravel lot where we’d parked. “Is this because of the jerk from tonight?”
“No. This is because you were right. I need to take more risks. He’s nice, so I’ll give him a chance.” I wanted to believe what I was saying, but I was afraid my heart wasn’t in it.
“With great risk comes great reward.” He said it like it was his mantra for this year.
“I hope so,” I said, flashing him a stiff smile. He was the best guy I knew, and he deserved to be happy.
“I hope so too,” he said, giving me a long look. I figured he was trying to make sure I wasn’t scarred from my ding-dong-ditch date tonight. “Hey, I’d like to invite Ashley to listen to our band practice, but only if it’s okay with you and the guys.”
I ignored the clutch of my heart. We’d never invited anyone to one of our practices. But change was in the air. Life was change, right? Just because I hated it didn’t mean I didn’t have to accept it.
“Are you okay? You made a funny face.”
“This change stuff is hard.” I huffed out a breath.
“Yeah, it is.” Spencer wrapped an arm around my shoulders and drew me into his chest. He held me there for a few heartbeats before placing a kiss on my forehead and letting me go, but not before smoothing a loose curl from my cheek. “You’re doing great, Martin. Pretty soon, you’ll be seeing things with fresh eyes. Change has a way of doing that.”
“It does, huh?” I squinted up at him through the dim light in the parking lot.
“Oh, yeah.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and huffed out a breath. “So, you’re okay with Ashley at practice?”
So much for a sweet moment. Sometimes I forgot that when Spencer set a goal, he threw himself body and soul into getting it.
“Yes, lover boy.” I laughed. “Invite your girl to practice. It’ll be fun.”
“Technically, she’s not my girl yet. I’m still working the plan.”
Right. Spencer and his plans.
19
Tessa
I was walking toward the cafeteria when a tap on my shoulder startled the heck out of me—guilty conscience. Sure, I thought Brian was nice and cute. I might have had a crush on him last year. But Spencer’s kiss kept running through my head. In retrospect, volunteering to help Spencer with his kiss had been . . . Well, it had been my dumbest. Idea. Ever.
Whipping around, I found myself face to muscular chest with Brian Muldowny. Wow. Who knew football could do this to a teenage body? I’d never gone for the bulky football type before, but this was definitely an interesting view. He was pretty ripped.
“Hi, Tessa,” Brian said, smiling down on me.
“You don’t use steroids, do you?” Oh, good gravy, why couldn’t I just say hi? Hi, Brian. Hey, how’s it going? Oh, heeey. Any of those would have worked. But no, my stupid mouth blurted out the random thought flashing through my brain. I slapped a hand over my mouth before I said something else stupid.
“No,” Brian said, gently removing my hand from my mouth. “And I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should.” My stomach rumbled, but I didn’t know if it was hunger, guilt, or nerves. Settle down. Give him a chance. Ignore Spencer’s kiss. Be open minded. It’s just lunch.
“
I don’t do steroids,” he said. “Now, are you ready for lunch, or have you changed your mind?”
“I’m ready. Did you want to sit with your friends?” Please say no. Please say no.
“Nah. I thought we could sit with your friends.” He shrugged.
“Sure.” Spencer would probably be at Ashley’s table, and Cody and the lacrosse guys were heading off campus for pizza. Hopefully, I could find Lexie or one of my friends from art class.
Brian’s gaze shifted up to my hair while his hands clenched at the strap of his backpack. “Your hair’s really . . . pink.”
“It is.” I pulled at one of my pink curls but quickly let go when I realized what I was doing. I glanced around, looking anywhere but at Brian, smoothing my hands over my soft, yellow, vintage swing dress. “What can I say? I gotta be me.”
“I admire how . . . different you are,” Brian said. “I should have asked you out when we were lab partners last year. I just never got the nerve to talk to you outside of science class.”
“But . . . here we are. Are you ready?” I asked, giving him my most dazzling smile and hoping it got less awkward as the lunch went on. “I’m starving.”
“Sure.” Brian glanced at my Rosie the Riveter plastic lunch box and blinked. “I see you brought your lunch. I need to hit the cafeteria line.”
“I’ll go through with you.” I focused on putting one foot in front of the other because I wouldn’t put it past my feet to fail me like my brain.
We worked our way down the line while Brian piled food—lots of food—on his tray.
“Wait.” I did a double-take on his tray. “Since when have they served banana pudding? And spring rolls? I love those.”
“You want one?” Brian asked me, his hand paused in the air.
“Banana pudding? I’ll fight you for it.”
His eyes went wide, and his hand hovered in the air over the refrigerated case, looking worried that I meant that for real.
“I’m totally kidding,” I said. “About fighting you for it. Not about wanting it, though.”
“Oh. Right.” He still didn’t crack a smile but quickly added another pudding and an order of spring rolls on his tray for me as Mrs. O’Brien, my favorite lunch lady, winked at me from behind the counter.
We moved down the line, grabbing food while I craned my head around the tables looking for Lexie, but it was crowded like a beehive in the spring. It was the sharp whistle that helped me hone in on her location. She stood on a bench waving madly at me. When I waved back, she popped back down.
“I found my friend,” I said, turning back to where Brian waited in line to pay. I pulled my purse from my backpack and reached in for my wallet.
“I’ve got it.” Brian pulled his wallet from his back jeans pocket and handed over his school meal card plus a few dollars for my food.
“Thanks.” I stared silently up at Brian and into his green eyes. It took me a second to realize he was waiting for me to get moving. Wonderful. My mouth, brain, and now my body had all shorted out. I did an about-face that would make a JROTC kid jealous and joined Lexie.
“Sorry it took us so long, but I’ve never been through the lunch line with a football player before, and all I can say is keep all body parts and loose items stowed for safety.”
“Hey, some of this food is yours,” Brian said in his defense. “A lot of the cheerleaders think salads and diet colas make up the whole food pyramid, so I’m looking forward to watching you eat it all.”
“I got some to share with Lexie.” I sat on the bench and guided Brian down next to me. “We always try to keep Lexie fed, because she gets grumpy when she’s hungry.”
“True fact,” Lexie said. “Hi, Brian. I know your brothers from band. I used to go to your house for quartet practice and drool over you, much to your brothers’ disgust.”
“Uh, thanks?” Brian side-eyed me, not sure how to handle that. But that was simply Lexie being Lexie.
She tilted her head before leaning forward with a wide smile. “Are you two on a date?”
“I wouldn’t call it a date,” Brian said, his cheeks competing with my hair.
“No,” I answered, throwing Brian a quick glance. “No. Just lunch between friends. That’s all it is. A regular old lunch.”
“Just lunch.” Lexie gave me an exaggerated wink. “Sure. I get it. It’s a non-date just between friends. A regular old lunch. It’s a—”
“Lexie.” I loved her like she was my own little sister, but she was the Energizer Bunny of no-filter conversations.
“Let’s deal, Tessa.” Lexie dumped her lunch out of the bag at the same time as she looked over my food and then over at Brian’s tray. “I’ll trade you my apple for your pear.”
“Sure.” I scoped out the possible trades. “I’m not touching your veggie wrap, but if you want to trade your bag of Funyuns for one of my spring rolls, we’ve got a deal.”
“Done.”
We pushed and grabbed our food trades quickly. Lunch period was only twenty-five minutes, and between the food line and talking, we probably only had ten minutes left.
I made fast work of my chicken salad sandwich from home, then started in on the spring rolls. “Mmm-hmm.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Lexie nodded at me, adding her own enthusiastic hum.
Brian worked through the food on his tray while we continued our getting-to-know-you conversation.
“New or old Star Wars?” I asked since I often found this dividing line illuminating.
“New, of course,” he said, causing Lexie’s gaze to whip over to mine.
Of course? Subtract one point from Team Muldowny. He wouldn’t have lost points for liking the new movies better. No, it was the “of course” that didn’t sit well.
I waited for him to take a turn at the conversation, but when the silence dragged on, I jumped back in. “Have you seen any good movies lately?”
“I guess the latest Fast and Furious.” He shrugged. “I’m not really into movies. I mostly watch football. I’m huge into the Carolina Panthers and college football.”
Liking sports wasn’t a deal-breaker. Not liking movies wasn’t either; it just gave us less to talk about. Unlike me and Spencer. Ugh. Stop it, brain. That kind of thinking was super not helpful.
“There’s Spencer.” I tipped my head to the far side of the room, over to where Spencer sat frowning in our direction. Strike that. Brian’s direction. Why would he frown at Brian when he was the one who gave Brian my phone number? And boys say girls are confusing. “Looks like he ate lunch with Ashley again.”
“Hey, Spencer!” Lexie called across and waved to get his attention.
And that was exactly when Brian disappeared under the table. Um, what? Was he ducking out of sight?
I leaned down, peering at him. “Are you afraid to have your friends to see you with me?”
“What?” Brian sat back up, looking calm and cool. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Did you duck under the table so Ashley and her friends wouldn’t see you with me?” I repeated. Because as much as I’d hate it if he said yes, I’d rather know. No way did I want to let myself like a guy who was embarrassed by me.
“No. I dropped my spoon.” Brian waved the plastic spoon for me to see before tossing it behind him into the trash can.
“You crawled under the table for a plastic spoon you were just going to throw away anyway?” I jerked my gaze over to Lexie to see if she was thinking the same thing. She sat, blinking her big blue eyes while she stared at Brian. Yeah, we were on the same page.
“I don’t like to litter.” Brian shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, who does?” I said in the perkiest voice I could fake. Because it sure looked like he was embarrassed to be seen with me. And then I saw him glance back over at Ashley and give one small nod. Huh.
Was that why Brian was embarrassed? Because he didn’t really like me? Had he only asked me to eat lunch because Ashley wanted me safely away from Spencer? It was too confusing to
figure out, and I was pretty sure I didn’t want to anyway.
This was the part of risk-taking I hated—the part when it blew up in my face.
20
Spencer
The next day, I laughed out loud, thinking about the drive to school. Tessa and I had told Lexie about the Zombie Attack maze, and she’d laughed so hard she’d squirted hot chocolate from her nose.
But then the corn maze story made me think of kissing Tessa, and I stopped laughing. I’d thought a lot about that kiss since my lips touched hers. Not that I had any other kiss to compare it to, but I definitely wouldn’t mind more practice if Tessa was willing.
“Hi, Spencer. What’s so funny at seven-thirty in the morning?” Ashley walked toward me, Trey at her side.
“Ah, just thinking about something my sister did.” I grinned. My morning was going so well, not even Trey’s face could mess with it. It got even better when Ashley gave me a hug along with a view of a pissed off Trey over her shoulder. Was life great or what?
Ashley pulled back to smile up at me. “I’ve got good news that’ll put you in an even better mood. Remember how you said you have to work Saturday night?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry I can’t go to the party with you, but I thought I could take you out on Friday night instead.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s perfect. Because guess what? Trey changed his party to Friday night—just for us!” Ashley said. “Isn’t that nice of him?”
I flicked my gaze to Trey, and “nice” wasn’t the word I’d use to describe his smirk. More like smug, diabolical, or nefarious. There was no way Trey wanted me at his party unless he was up to something. And now I was stuck because I’d already told her I was free on Friday.
“Only, I’m getting my nails done with my girls beforehand, and then I promised Trey I’d help him set up, so you can just meet me there.”
“Meet you at Trey’s? Sure.” I was going on a date with Ashley Marks. But . . . not really. Thinking back, other than the corn maze, I hadn’t been alone with Ashley since the first time we had lunch. I knew the popular clique of kids was more like a pack, but it was weird how Trey was always around.
My Totally Off-Limits Best Friend: A YA Sweet Romance (Sweet Mountain High, Year 2: A Sweet YA Romance Series) Page 9