by Gale Stanley
“Can you do that? Keep your emotions out of it, I mean.” Sam let out a small sigh. “Because I don’t think I can.”
Luke forced the words out. It was best for everybody. “Then we shouldn’t see each other again.”
“I won’t try and influence you, Luke. Sleep on it. Listen to your ursine instincts. Your bear won’t steer you wrong.” They were Sam’s last words to him.
They dressed silently and walked back to town, parting ways without a word. There was nothing more to say, really.
Chapter Seven
After tossing and turning most of the night, Sam woke late in the day. Last night, he’d been so hurt that he didn’t even say goodnight to Luke. It was probably better that way. At least he and Luke hadn’t gotten into a big blowout.
Sam had never fallen so fast, and so hard, and he’d never revealed his feelings so early. Being with Luke felt different, real, and so right, it hurt. Besides, his time here was limited, and he had to make the most of it. He thought he did, then Luke had to go and ruin everything.
Sam knew Luke was confused, but instead of talking about it, he wanted to take the easy way out and end things. Well, shit, Sam knew all about confusion. He’d always been bisexual, but he thought he’d end up with a female, if only to reproduce and perpetuate their race. Then he met Luke. What he felt for Luke surpassed anything he’d ever felt for anyone. They connected on a primal level that ordinary humans could never know. Surely, Luke had to feel the same. The thought of ending this before it had a chance to really begin was unthinkable. But Sam still had hope that the blond bear would come to his senses.
Sam spent the rest of the day reading, walking, and getting his thoughts together, then he dressed for the meeting at Quinn’s house. He was looking forward to some alone time with Luke afterward. There was so much to talk about. Like many others, Sam had been orphaned early, grown up quickly, and spent a lot of years traveling and looking for others like himself.
Social and sexual identity crises weren’t unusual among shifters. Many felt unhappy and confused. They weren’t sure who or what they really were. Who wouldn’t be confused with all those human and animal hormones struggling for dominance? Still, the shifters Sam knew had come to terms with their genetics and made good lives for themselves. Luke would, too. Sam was sure of it.
When Sam arrived at Quinn’s, the usual suspects were present, minus one. Greetings were exchanged, and Quinn got right down to business. “Sam, I’m hoping you can offer some suggestions on beefing up security while we’re working.”
Sam’s furrowed brow must have conveyed his confusion. “Shouldn’t we wait for Luke?”
“Sorry, I thought I mentioned it. Luke is under the weather—”
“Drunk,” Ash blurted out.
Becca glared at Ash and turned to Sam. “It’s probably indigestion.”
Sam got a knot in the pit of his stomach. He told himself to stop judging Luke, maybe he was actually sick. But Sam’s gut told him different. Luke was lying so he could avoid seeing him. That really hurt. The pain of Luke’s rejection made it difficult to focus. Finally, Sam managed to talk over the lump in his throat. “Sorry to hear he’s ailing.”
“Fortunately you’re here,” Quinn said. “What can you tell us, Sam?”
Sam’s thoughts were chaotic, but he tried to focus. “I understand logging is dangerous. You really need a separate patrol keeping watch so the men can concentrate on work.” Sam swiped a hand through his shaggy hair. He found it hard to go on. Damn you, Luke.
“We have a manpower problem,” Ash said.
“I know.” Sam’s voice was flat. “We talked about having the women patrol Sanctuary. If there’s trouble, they can sound an alarm.”
“That’s an excellent idea.” In her excitement, Becca jumped up. “Several of us have wanted to do more for a long time now.”
Quinn smiled. “I know firsthand that Becca is more than capable. I propose that she head up the women’s security team.”
Sam feared he wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings from the others much longer. This called for an early exit. He stood and cleared his throat. “Sounds like you have a handle on things. I’m glad, because they need me back home.”
Noah looked disappointed. “I was hoping you would stay longer.”
Me too. “I left some projects on hold.” Sam forced a smile. “And I don’t want to outstay my welcome.”
“You could never do that,” Quinn said. “There’s always a place for you here.”
“Thanks.” Sam felt himself tearing up. “Can I get a ride to the airport in the morning, providing I can book a flight, that is?”
“That is fast.” Becca flashed him a questioning look. “When you make your arrangements, text me the time, and I’ll take you. I can pick your brain on the drive.”
* * * *
When Sam walked out of the clubhouse the next morning, he half expected to see Luke, but it was Becca waiting in the truck. Disappointed, Sam threw his bag in the back and climbed into the passenger seat. He couldn’t help asking about Luke. “How’s your brother feeling today?”
“I don’t know. He was still in bed when I left this morning. I’m worried. It’s not like him to be sick. He never misses work.”
Sam had his own suspicions, but he kept them to himself. He didn’t feel like talking, so he stared out the window. The closest airport was fifty miles from Sanctuary, and every passing mile put more distance between him and Luke. Inside he cursed himself for not making more of an effort to fix things, but it was pointless. Luke had deliberately avoided him. The message was obvious. It was over. Yet he couldn’t get Luke off his mind. Sam cursed himself for being a fool. He was better off without Luke. But if that were true, then why did it hurt so much?
Ten minutes into the drive, Becca finally broke the silence.
“I wish you weren’t leaving so soon. You’re going to be missed, Sam.”
Sam forced a bleak, tightlipped smile “Not everyone feels that way.”
“If you’re referring to Luke, you couldn’t be more wrong.”
Disgusted, Sam couldn’t help letting his feelings out. “Are you sure he’s really sick? I think he’s blowing me off?”
“I’m not sure at all. In fact, I don’t think he’s sick.”
Sam’s heart twisted. “Well, there you have it.”
“And I don’t think he’s blowing you off. I think he’s avoiding you because he can’t handle his feelings. He cares for you.”
“Bullshit.”
“My gut tells me I’m right. I can usually pick up on the emotions of friends, family, and sometimes even strangers. Right now, I’m sensing that you care for Luke, too.”
“You hardly know me, Becca.”
“Am I wrong?”
Sam sighed. “No. I admit I have feelings for Luke. But he doesn’t feel the same.”
“Don’t be so sure. He’s my twin. I know him better than anyone.”
“Maybe you’re too close. Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.”
“It’s you who’s not seeing the big picture, Sam.” Becca hesitated for a moment. “I don’t like gossip, but in this case I don’t think Quinn and Noah would mind if I share a little of their history.”
Sam had never seen a more loving couple than Quinn and Noah. He couldn’t imagine what their situation had to do with him and Luke, but he was curious. “I’m listening.”
“When Noah’s parents were killed, Quinn took on the role of guardian. I was probably the only person in Sanctuary who knew Noah had an adolescent crush on Quinn. As Noah matured, I watched that crush turn into love. When Noah came home from college, it became obvious to me that Quinn felt the same. But it wasn’t obvious to Noah or Quinn. Men can be so dense.” Becca paused long enough to make her point. “Noah was miserable, and he left Sanctuary to escape the pain of unrequited love. That’s when he got into trouble with traffickers. Quinn and I rescued him and brought him home. It was a wakeup call to Quinn. He’d
almost lost his soul mate. Are you willing to take that chance?” Becca’s words hung in the air.
Luke’s image, the sound of his voice, and especially his smell were burned into Sam’s psyche. A shifter’s pheromones were powerful signals. A bear would home in on a special scent like a missile on a target. It wasn’t a matter of choice. The call of the pheromone was irresistible. If Luke was feeling the call and ignoring it, he had to be as miserable as Sam was.
Sam should be happy to be going home. He’d always liked having his own retreat. There’s no place like home, after all. But Sam was starting to realize that home wasn’t just a place or a building. An old saying came to mind—home is where the heart is—and right now, Sam’s heart was with Luke.
“Turn the car around, Becca.”
Chapter Eight
When Becca and Sam reached the outskirts of Sanctuary, Becca stopped the car. “Where do you want to go, Sam?”
“Am I doing the right thing, Becca?”
“Absolutely.”
At any rate it was too late to turn around again. “I want to see Luke. Alone.”
“Of course you do. We’ll go to my house. You wait outside. When I leave with my mother, you go in and see Luke.”
“Won’t your mother be upset?”
“Maybe at first. She still thinks of him as her baby, but deep down she wants him to be happy. That’s the most important thing.”
But am I what he needs to make him happy? Sam sighed. “Okay then, sounds like a plan.”
* * * *
Luke heard someone outside the bedroom door. He assumed it was his mother. His father had left for work, and Becca had slipped a note under his door saying she was taking the truck to drive Sam to the airport. That hurt. Luke’s first thought had been to jump out of bed and take Becca’s place. He wanted to go to Sam and beg him to stay, at least until they talked things out. But in the end, he forced himself to stay in bed.
There was no denying the chemistry between them. As far as attraction went, Luke’s human side was highly dependent on visuals, but his bear relied on smell and was more perceptive. It was the bear who had known first that Ally was not the one. Then the beast steered him to Sam. Yeah, the sex was great, but he’d never thought about a long-term relationship with a man. The game plan had been a wife and babies. No shifter parent wanted to hear their son tell them he was gay. They all wanted a daughter-in-law and grandchildren.
If Sam just wanted sex, they could have fooled around longer, but Sam wanted something Luke couldn’t give him. Luke never wanted to hurt Sam, but love and commitment weren’t in the cards. Afraid the nearness of Sam might make him give in, Luke didn’t want a confrontation. Avoiding Sam was the only option.
Luke heard the door open, and he pretended to be sleep. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.
With his nose buried in the pillow, Luke didn’t realize it was Sam until the mattress sunk under the shifter’s weight. Shocked, Luke lifted his head. Sam looked better than ever. His black hair and dark eyes were gorgeous, but his scent and dominating masculinity were the turn-on.
“I thought you left,” Luke said.
“I tried, but I couldn’t leave without seeing you again.” Looking half-apprehensive, and hot as hell, Sam leaned over, and taking Luke’s face in his hands, he kissed him. Luke locked his hands around Sam’s neck and pulled him down. It had only been a day or two, but Luke found himself clinging to Sam as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.
Sparks flew in all directions. Sam’s kiss erased Luke’s thoughts, along with all of his doubts. Luke reveled in sensation, and his worries evaporated. He wanted the kiss to go forever. Sam made him feel like nothing mattered except the two of them. Drunk on endorphins, Luke needed to touch Sam, to get him naked and feel all that hard, masculine flesh. Then Sam snaked a hand under the blanket and gripped Luke’s hard-as-steel boner.
When they came up for air, Sam’s smirk said, I told you so, but when he opened his mouth he said, “I’m glad to see you, too.”
At a loss for words, Luke could only manage, “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I shouldn’t have gone running off with my tail between my legs.” Sam nuzzled Luke’s neck. “We deserve another chance.”
Oh shit. I’m in trouble. Luke tried to speak, but Sam captured his lips again. Luke tried to resist, he really did, but instead he fondled Sam’s crotch. He was as hard as Luke.
Sam stood and started taking his clothes off. Luke lay back and watched until Sam stood there in his boxer shorts, his boner tenting up the material. Luke got up on his knees and pressed his mouth to Sam’s stiff cock. Sam groaned as Luke sucked on the head through the cotton fabric. Sam’s breathing got faster. So did Luke’s. Finally Sam threw Luke off, ripped off his shorts, and climbed on the bed between Luke’s legs.
Fisting Luke’s cock, Sam stared into his eyes. “Did Ally suck your cock?”
“Not like you do. I always felt like she just wanted to get it over with.”
“This is mine now.” Sam went down on him, sucking hard and swirling his tongue around the head.
Sam pressed a finger against Luke’s asshole.
Luke trembled. “Oh, fuck.”
Sam lifted his head. “Did she touch your ass?”
“Never. She thought it was dirty.”
Sam pushed his finger in Luke’s hole. “What about you, Luke? Do you like what we do, or do you think it’s dirty?”
Luke gasped. “I love everything you do. Everything about you—”
Suddenly, Sam found his prostate, and Luke’s body jerked.
“Yes. God, yes.”
“You like that, baby? Like getting your hole finger-fucked. Or do you want more?”
“More, Sam. I want more. Fuck me. Please.”
“Did Ally beg like that when you fucked her?”
“No. Mostly she just laid there.”
Sam removed his finger. “I’m going to fuck you, Luke, because you beg so pretty. But you better promise me you won’t just lay there.”
“I couldn’t.” Luke started moaning. “I want it too bad.”
“I’m gonna let you have it good. I’m gonna fuck that ass real good.” Sam grabbed Luke’s ankles and yanked his legs up so they rested on Sam’s shoulders. “I want to see your face when I fuck you.”
Luke was burning up. He started to touch himself, pinching a nipple with one hand, while his other hand fisted his cock. His thumb spread the bead of fluid seeping from the slit on his cockhead.
Sam was staring at him intently. “Fuck, baby. You look so beautiful. I might just come watching you pleasure yourself.”
Luke moaned and thrust into his fist. “Now, Sam. Fuck me now.”
Sam spread him open and then pressed the head of his cock against Luke’s hole. He pushed hard and slid inside slowly. Luke felt full and hot. His muscles contracted around Sam’s flesh. They both groaned in unison, and then Sam started to move inside him.
“How do you want it, baby?”
“Hard and fast.”
Sam withdrew and slammed back inside Luke. Luke made guttural noises and flailed against him as Sam pounded him hard and fast. Then Sam shifted, raking Luke’s prostate with every thrust.
Luke’s balls drew up tight, and his cock pulsed. “Oh fuck. I'm coming. I'm coming. Aaahhhh…”
Through the spasms of his orgasm, Luke heard Sam groan and felt Sam’s seed shoot deep inside him. Then Sam collapsed and lay panting on top of Luke.
“Did you like that?”
“Couldn’t you tell,” Luke said. “I like you in my ass. In my mouth. Everywhere.”
Sam chuckled. “And I like you, because you’re as dirty as I am. I want to spend the entire day in bed and do nasty things with you.”
“If only. But you gotta leave, Sam. I heard my mother go out with Becca, but they can walk in any time.”
“Let’s take a quick shower and go downstairs to wait for them.”
“My mother will wonder why you came back.”
“I’ll tell her the truth. I came back for you.”
“No, I haven’t told my family about us yet.”
“Let’s tell them together.”
Luke held on to Sam’s hand. “Not yet. I want to prepare them.”
“You make it sound like a death.”
“Well, it is in a way. The death of their dreams for me.”
Sam expression tightened. “What dreams? A mate, a home, a family…we can still have all those things.”
“It’s complicated.”
“No, it isn’t. Grow up, Luke. You’re still looking at us like it’s a friendship with hot sex. I want more than that.”
Luke wanted to tell Sam how irresistible he was. How much he cared for him. But something held him back.
Sam sighed. “Early on, I realized how much I cared for you, but I was afraid to show my feelings because you only wanted a fling. But my feelings got deeper, and I knew we didn’t have a lot of time so I told you how I felt. And you pushed me away. Are you going to push me away again?”
Ultimatum time. It was the moment Luke had hoped to avoid. He wanted Sam more than ever, but it was too much, too soon. He needed more time. “No, I just want to figure things out.”
“What things? I’m falling for you big time. My pheromones tell me you’re the one. Feelings like that need to be mutual. I’m not getting that from you, and it’s painful.”
“Are you crazy? Can’t you see how much I want you?”
“Don’t play dumb. I’m not talking about sex. We both know that’s good. I want more. I suspect you don’t identify as gay because you don’t want to disappoint your family. You want a wife and cubs, but you still want bud-sex on the down low. Well, I’m not interested in male–male sex to relieve my needs. I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, Luke. I’m prepared to move here and be a couple. So put up or shut up.”
“I uh…I need to think.”
“Yeah, you think about it. Think about what a great life we could have together. I’ll be at the club house. Come see me tonight.”
Luke didn’t say a word as Sam put on his clothes and left, slamming the door behind him.