by Ramona Gray
He blushed and looked away. She traced her fingers over his chest. “That’s what you want, isn’t it, Cooper? Me pregnant with your baby.”
“Do you want children?” he asked.
What would he do if she didn’t? He wanted kids and so did his lion. If Daisy didn’t want them…
“I do,” she said.
He knew he had a look of relief on his face, but he couldn’t hide it.
“Maybe not this year,” she said with a small smile. “But sooner than later. How many kids do you want?”
“At least two,” he said. “You?”
“I always thought three would be nice.”
“I’m good with three,” he said.
“But what about four?” she asked with a soft smile. “I’d like a big family.”
“If you want four kids, we’ll have four,” he said.
She laughed. “It’s kind of weird that we’re talking about how many kids we’ll have when I don’t know anything about you.”
“You know plenty about me,” he said.
“Oh yeah? Let’s see… I know you used to be in the military, Grayson is your best friend, you’re a great boss, and you’re really, really, really amazing at sex.”
“What else do you need to know?” he said with a grin.
She traced the tattoos on his chest. “I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know your middle name, if you have siblings, if you’re close to your parents, if you prefer cake or pie, or if you’ve been married before.”
He kissed her forehead. “James, one younger brother, yes although they live out of state, pie, always pie, and no I’ve never been married before.”
“Any serious relationships?” she said.
“Two. One when I was in my early twenties, and another a few years ago.”
“Can I ask why they didn’t work or is that being too nosy?” she asked.
“It’s not being nosy,” he said. “The first one didn’t work because I joined the military, and the distance thing made the relationship fizzle out. The second one, she had some anxiety issues and the career I’ve chosen can sometimes be dangerous. It was hard on her. She worried about me to the point where it was physically taxing on her. Eventually her anxiety and her stress were stronger than her love for me and we went our separate ways.”
“I’m very sorry,” she said.
“I was too, but it’s for the best. I love my job and even though I loved Marla, I couldn’t give this up. We’re still friends on Facebook. She’s married to a finance guy who works an office job, and they have two cubs. She seems very happy.”
“Did your lion think of her as his mate?” Daisy said.
“He loved her, but he hadn’t yet gotten to the mate point with her.”
“How long did you date?”
“Almost three years.”
She traced his tattoos again with the tip of her finger. “But we’ve known each other for only three months and he already thinks I’m his mate?”
“Yes.” He wanted to try and explain, to try and make it sound less fucking weird, but he stayed quiet. There wasn’t anything he really could say. It was fucking weird that not only was his lion instantly in love with Daisy, but he believed her to be his mate too.
Just your lion?
He stared at the ceiling, trailing his fingers over Daisy’s soft skin. No, not just his lion. He’d known too from the moment he saw Daisy that she was his mate.
“Is Marla a human?”
“No. Bobcat shifter,” he said.
“Have you ever slept with a human before me?”
“Yes. But you’re the smallest human I’ve slept with,” he said. “Your turn now.”
She made a figure eight on his chest with her fingers. “Rachel, no siblings, my parents died in a car accident when I was seven and I grew up in foster care, pie for me too, and nope, never married before. Only one serious relationship and you already know how that turned out.”
He cupped her face and made her look at him. “You grew up in foster care?”
“I did. My therapist said that’s probably why I want a big family. My lack of family as a kid, you know?”
“You didn’t have any other family who could take you?” he said.
My parents were only children and both of their parents had already passed. My mom’s best friend was my godmother. She was given custody of me, but she didn’t want the responsibility of raising a kid, so she gave me up to the system.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? She just gave you up?” Cooper stared at her.
“Yes. But to be fair, I was kind of an emotional wreck. I was crying a lot and being super clingy with her.”
“You were a kid and your parents just died,” Cooper said. “Jesus fucking Christ, of course you were crying and upset.”
“Monique said it was for the best. She said I needed to pretend I wasn’t sad and put on a happy smile, and a nice family would adopt me who would take better care of me than she could. She didn’t have a lot of money and I would have been a real financial burden. She thought we’d both be happier if I went to a nice family who had money instead of living with her and being poor.”
“Oh my fucking God,” Cooper said. “She’s a goddamn monster.”
Daisy frowned at him. “She wasn’t. It wasn’t her fault that I never got adopted like she thought I would. There were a couple of families interested in me, but I was still grieving for my parents and didn’t make a very good first impression. That isn’t Monique’s fault. Besides, she would send me cards a few times a year with five or ten dollars in it, and she took me out for dinner every year on my birthday.”
“Jesus Christ,” Cooper said.
“It was nice of her to do that,” Daisy said. “She didn’t have to, and the ten or fifteen dollars I got every year was like winning the lottery for me. One time she sent me a twenty-dollar bill and it was right before the scholastic book fair at school. For the first time since my parents died, I could buy books just like the other kids. It was a really great day and I have her to thank for that.”
Cooper’s stomach felt like it’d been bathed in acid. “Daisy, honey, she wasn’t a good person. Your mom and dad expected her to look after you, to raise you and keep you safe. To give you a happy life.”
Daisy just shrugged. “Life doesn’t always work out the way it’s supposed to for a person. She didn’t have to stay in contact with me or give me money. She took me to a real restaurant for my birthday, not just McDonalds or Burger King. During dinner, she would tell me stories about my mom and her when they were younger.”
He tried to keep his face neutral. How bad was Daisy’s childhood that this woman doing the bare minimum for her had seemed special?
“Do you still talk to her?” He hoped so. He wanted to meet the woman who had abandoned his mate as a helpless child so he could tell her exactly what special kind of asshole she really was.
“No, she stopped, uh, communicating with me when I was ten,” Daisy said.
“Of course, she did.” He made a low growl of irritation.
“It was my fault,” Daisy said.
“How the fuck could it be your fault? You were a kid.” He could hear the annoyance in his voice, and he tried to rein it in. The last thing he wanted was Daisy thinking he was pissed at her.
“I didn’t like the foster home I was in. It was… well, it wasn’t great. I asked Monique to let me live with her.” Daisy rubbed at the scar on her arm. “It didn’t go well. I started crying and getting emotional, and it really upset Monique. She said it wasn’t fair of me to put her on the spot like that and that she still wasn’t in a position where she could financially provide for me.”
Daisy grimaced. “God this is embarrassing. I probably shouldn’t tell you anymore because I don’t come off very well in the story.”
He cupped her face again and pressed a kiss against her mouth. “Tell me, baby.”
She sighed and rubbed at the scar again. “I basically begged her to let me live
with her. I promised that I wouldn’t ask her for money ever, and that I would be really careful with my clothes, so she didn’t have to buy me new ones.”
Her face turned a soft red. “I said I would only eat one meal a day. I even lifted up my shirt right there in the middle of the restaurant to show her how skinny I was in an attempt to convince her I wouldn’t eat much.”
Her fingers rubbed ceaselessly over the scar. “When she kept saying no, I started crying hard. Everyone was staring at us and it was a total scene. Monique took me out of the restaurant, drove me back to my foster home, and I never heard from her again. I looked her up on Facebook a few years ago. She’s married now and has a couple of kids. She looks happy.”
“Fuck her,” Cooper said. “She abandoned you twice as a child.”
“Well, I did cry a lot in the restaurant,” Daisy said. “We’re talking snot dripping and loud braying sobs.”
“So what,” Cooper said. “You were a child, Daisy.”
“I was ten and old enough to know better, but I was so tired of being afraid and -”
She stopped abruptly and sat up, pasting a smile on her face. “Enough about my sad sack childhood. What do you want to do today?”
“Why were you afraid?” he said.
She stared at the scar on her arm. “Because my foster home, it wasn’t…”
She swallowed hard and the scent of her fear drifted to him. He leaned in and kissed her shoulder. “It’s all right, baby. You can tell me. I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever again.”
She took a shuddering breath. “There was -”
His cell phone buzzed on the nightstand and Daisy glanced at it. “You should get that.”
“I don’t need to. What were you going to say?” He took her hand, linking their fingers, but it was too late. He could already see from the look on her face that she wouldn’t tell him. Whatever moment was happening had passed. If he tried to pry further, it would only make things worse.
He pressed another kiss against her shoulder before grabbing his phone. He read the text. “It’s Gray. I guess Shay talked to Ryan this morning. He wants to come over. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m on the cusp of madness again.”
“Again,” she said softly. “How close were you to going mad, Cooper?”
He didn’t want to answer but she squeezed his hand and persisted. “How close, honey?”
“Close,” he said. “My lion was – is – obsessed with you. Not being with you was difficult.”
She didn’t reply, and he cursed himself in his head. He was going to scare her away if he kept this up. “But he’s more chill about you now so, you know… I’m not a crazy weirdo or anything.”
Fuck. He was a complete idiot.
She laughed, and relief flooded through him when she pressed a kiss against his mouth. “God, you’re cute, Cooper Brooks.” A cheeky look crossed her face. “And I know that’s a lie. Your lion is one hundred percent into me.”
He grinned at her as his cell phone buzzed again. “Yeah, well, he’s not the only one.”
“Is it Boone? It’s Boone, isn’t it?” she said.
He growled playfully at her and she laughed again before taking his phone from his hand. She swiped to the camera and leaned against him, resting her head in the curve of his neck and aiming the screen at their faces. “Smile, Cooper.”
Instead of smiling, he turned his head and kissed her temple as she took the picture. He studied the picture when she handed his phone back to him. Daisy’s face beamed with happiness and her smile was gorgeous.
“Send that to Grayson,” she said. “That should help convince him you’re fine, right?”
He sent the picture off without typing anything before tossing his phone on the nightstand and pulling Daisy into his lap. He nuzzled her throat and then marked it with a few swipes of his face. “Yes.”
She stroked his thick hair. “What do you want to do today?”
“Whatever you want,” he said.
She thought for a few minutes. “There’s a park with some pretty walking trails not too far from the office.”
“I know which one you mean,” he said.
“We could go for a walk, maybe stop for coffee after?” she said.
“Sure.”
She grinned at him and he could smell her excitement. “I know it’s silly, but I’m really looking forward to this. So often when I’m out in public I’m afraid, but now I don’t have to be. I smell like you and even better, you’re with me. Shifters won’t come near me. I can be normal, Cooper. I don’t have to be afraid.”
He kissed her slender throat. “You don’t ever have to be afraid again, baby. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty
“It’s not a good idea, Daisy.”
“It is,” she said.
Cooper paced back and forth in the kitchen. His pupils narrowed into slits and Daisy waited as he spoke to his lion.
His pupils rounded and he shook his head. “It’s a terrible idea.”
“I know your lion wants you to do it.”
“I don’t care what he wants,” Cooper said.
“Yes, you do.”
Cooper growled in frustration. “We can do this later. It doesn’t have to be tonight. Can’t we just watch a movie or something? I’ll make you popcorn. Do you like popcorn?”
She smiled at him. “I like popcorn. And if you want to watch a movie, we’ll watch one. But after you shift for me.”
She knew why he didn’t want to. He was worried it would frighten her too much.
“Baby,” he said, “have you ever seen a lion in real life?”
“Well, not up close, but I’ve been to the zoo and seen them there.”
He groaned and rubbed at the back of his neck. “It’s not the same. My lion is big, okay? He’s going to want to touch you, to rub up against you and mark you. And I won’t have as much control over him. I can’t guarantee that I can stop him from marking you once I’m in my lion form.”
“I’m okay if he touches me.”
He made another noise of frustration. “You don’t know that. Look, I get why you think you need to do this, but it can wait.”
“Don’t shifters have to shift to their cat form on a regular basis to be happy and content? I read that somewhere, I’m sure of it,” Daisy said.
“Yes,” he said, “but I can shift when I’m alone.”
“Cooper, I understand why you don’t want to shift, but I think it’s better to do it sooner than later,” she said. “I’m not afraid of you anymore, I swear.”
“Me in my human form is a lot different than when I’m in my lion form,” he said. His gaze dropped to the scar on her arm. “There are claws and teeth, remember?”
“I remember,” she said. She couldn’t say this to him, but ironically, she was more afraid of a shifter when they were only half-shifted. Which was ridiculous but childhood trauma wasn’t exactly something that could be normalized.
“Next weekend,” he said. “I’ll shift for you next weekend.”
“I’d really like you to shift right now.” She knew she was pushing him and part of her hated herself for doing that to him, but she needed to know. If she was wrong and she was terrified of him in his shifter form, it was better to know now. Even a week later, it would be harder on both her and Cooper to end the relationship.
Relationship? You only started having sex with him last night and already you’re calling it a relationship?
She ignored her inner voice. What was happening between her and Cooper was unconventional and inner Daisy really wanted her to be freaked out by it, but she wasn’t. Couldn’t be. Not when being with Cooper felt perfect.
“Daisy…” Cooper said.
“It’ll be okay, honey. Please trust me,” she said.
His pupils turned to slits for a few seconds before he sighed and yanked his t-shirt over his head. He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them and his briefs down his legs. She giggled when he hopped on one leg and
then the other to remove his socks, but he didn’t smile. His face was tense, and he stared solemnly at her as he stood naked in the kitchen.
“My lion will never hurt you, baby. Remember that, okay?”
“I know,” she said.
He closed his eyes and she watched in fascination as his big body rippled and shook. He arched his back, lifting his face to the sky as bones cracked and muscles stretched, and hard flesh turned to fur. It took less than thirty seconds for him to fully shift and she stared in silence at the lion standing in the kitchen.
He was big. Much bigger than the lions she’d seen at the zoo. Or maybe it only felt that way because he was standing less than two feet away from her. She studied his eyes and wide nose, and the heavy brown mane before her gaze dropped to his paws. His claws weren’t out but she knew they’d be long and thick and razor sharp.
Before she felt even a trickle of fear, a familiar purring filled the kitchen. She lifted her gaze back to the lion’s face – back to Cooper’s face – and smiled at him. “Hello, Cooper.”
He purred again and took a step toward her and then another, his tail waving in the air behind him. He stopped in front of her and she reached out and brushed her hand along his mane.
The lion’s purring grew louder. She staggered back against the wall when he butted his head across her hip. A very human-like look of embarrassment crossed the lion’s face.
“It’s okay,” she said as she straightened. “I’m not hurt.”
He purred again and she braced herself against the wall when he rubbed his head across her abdomen. She buried her hands in his thick mane and scratched. He made an adorable trilling sound before rubbing his big body along hers a few times. She scratched down his spine, delighted at how soft his fur was.
He made a low roar and turned to headbutt her hip again. He stared up at her and knowing instinctively what he wanted, she moved to a chair and sat. He immediately crowded up against her, they were face to face now and she tried not to flinch when he rubbed his face across hers. She wiped the hair from her mouth and laughed when the lion purred and rubbed his cheek across her forehead, nearly knocking her from the chair.