by Mere Rain
“What? Tsugu, it was years ago, and I chose to do something I knew was wrong. It was my own fault.”
“But you wouldn’t have ever done anything bad without me!”
“I wouldn’t have ever had any fun without you. Anyway, that was just kid stuff, and I turned out okay, right?”
“You turned out great,” Akihito whispered. “I’m the bad one.”
“Tsugu, you’re the best friend!” Kenji’s upper arms were pinned by Akihito’s and his lower arms tangled in his clothes, but he managed to twist his wrist until he could grip one of Akihito’s chilled hands. “You’re fine. You’re just drunk.”
“No, I’m a bad person. Because I’m a liar. Because I want—I think about—”
“Tsugu—” Kenji was struggling to turn around.
Akihito grasped him more tightly. “Please listen, Kenji.”
Kenji sat still.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you this since I was seventeen, but I can’t say it while you look at me.” He rested his forehead against Kenji’s shoulder. He could feel Kenji’s quick heartbeat where his chest pressed against the other man’s back and in the pulse of his wrists against Kenji’s bare chest.
“Kenji, I love you. Not just as a friend.”
“I love you, too, Tsugu.”
“I have to confess the truth, even though I’m so afraid of losing you. My love for you is the most important thing in my life, and I can’t go on keeping it secret. I don’t know how I’ll go on living if you stop being my…. What did you say?”
“I love you.” He was still holding Akihito’s hand. “I want to spend my life with you, and share everything I have with you, and make love to you.”
Akihito was frozen where he knelt, shaking and weeping into Kenji’s shoulder.
“That is what you meant, isn’t it?” Kenji added nervously.
Akihito nodded.
“May I turn around now?” Kenji asked.
Akihito tried to loosen his embrace, but his arms seemed locked in place. After a moment, Kenji carefully released his hand and wriggled around, shedding his tangled shirt and jacket in the process, and slid his arms around Akihito’s waist.
He pressed his lips to Akihito’s hair. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I’m not,” Akihito sobbed. “Ah, I’m so scared.”
Kenji stroked his back gently. “Of what?”
“So many nights I’ve dreamed that you loved me. And then I woke up, and—I can’t stand it if….”
“But I did love you, Tsugu. All the nights that you dreamed of me, I was loving you.”
Akihito wept harder. He felt Kenji’s mouth move from his hair to his temple.
“Tsugu, can I kiss you?”
It was more difficult than he would have imagined to lift his gaze to Kenji’s, dark and soft in the dimness. He was trembling before their lips met. When they touched, a shock almost like a convulsion ran through him, followed by a wave of heat. His arms finally relaxed their death grip.
Kenji slid one arm free so he could move it higher, massaging the back of Akihito’s neck and stroking fingers through his hair.
“More?” Kenji whispered against his mouth.
“Yes.” Kissing Kenji more deeply, Akihito pulled him closer, leaning until he was prone in the grass with Kenji on top of him. He explored the lines of Kenji’s body the way he had longed to do for years, and Kenji slipped a hand under his shirt. The darkness around them smelled of cool earth and vegetation, and the only sound was the gentle rustle of leaves. They could have been the only two alive in a vast wilderness.
Kenji’s mouth left his abruptly. “That’s the train.”
They scrambled to their feet. Kenji struggled back into his shirt as they stumbled through the bushes to the station. The doors were closing as they arrived at them and half fell into the brightly lit compartment. It was jarring, like being woken from a beautiful dream. But Akihito noticed as they sat down that Kenji’s shirt was on backward, so it had definitely happened.
“Shirt,” he whispered.
“You have leaves in your hair,” Kenji murmured back.
Akihito glanced around to make sure no one was staring at them and lowered his voice. “Can you call first thing in the morning and reassure me that I didn’t dream the past hour?”
Kenji was silent for a moment, while Akihito’s heart plummeted. “Wouldn’t it be easier if I spent the night in your room and told you in person?”
“I know your parents aren’t crazy about me—”
“I meant because you have solid walls and I have shōji,” Kenji explained patiently. “We’d have to be really quiet.”
When Akihito’s pulse had settled enough for him to speak normally, he explained, “I meant, won’t your parents be upset if they realize we, um….”
“They’ll just have to get over it,” Kenji said firmly. “I’ve done everything they wanted for my entire life, but this is my choice, and I’m not giving you up for any reason.” Indifferent to whether anyone might be looking, he took Akihito’s hand and held it.
Akihito felt himself tearing up again, his throat tight.
Kenji leaned his shoulder against Akihito’s and said, “I think we should start celebrating Christmas.”
MERE RAIN is an international nonentity of mystery whose library resides in California.
Mere likes reading, travel, food, art, and you.
No, really! Feel free to contact Mere at [email protected]
By Mere Rain
The Last Birthday Party
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Last Birthday Party
© 2018 Mere Rain.
Cover Art
© 2018 Brooke Albrecht.
http://brookealbrechtstudio.com
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
Digital ISBN: 978-1-64405-042-2
Digital eBook published December 2018
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America