“You get ready for bed while I grab the gift,” Wyatt added.
“Ugh, do I have to? I’m not even tired.” The familiar grumbling almost had my lips curling, but it was the words being exchanged that gave me true pause.
They’re talking about getting ready for bed.
Does that mean they’re staying?
“It’s past your bedtime, Jamie.” Wyatt sounded stern. “You know how Auntie A feels about bedtime rules.”
“But she’s sick. We gotta make her soooouuuup,” he drawled.
“Do you want soup or her gift?” Wyatt asked.
“Both.” Jamie tried to move out of my arms, maybe to face the door, but I still wasn’t ready to release him.
“Can’t have both, little man.”
“I don’t like you right now,” Jamie pouted.
You and me both, I thought, finally braving a glance at the man in the doorway. His smoldering dark eyes narrowed, his brow furrowing with the look.
“Tell him it’s bedtime,” Wyatt demanded.
Fuck you, I wanted to throw back at him. “Is he staying here?” I asked instead, my voice hoarse from hours of crying.
Damn, I probably looked like a hot mess from not showering today… or yesterday. And essentially living in Jamie’s room, mourning him as if I’d lost a child.
“Yes,” he said slowly, his forehead crinkling in confusion. “Doesn’t he have preschool tomorrow?”
“Does he?” I wondered out loud. In New Orleans? Here? Where did he plan to send him? I had no say in it, just as Scott reminded me.
No control over the life of the little boy I’d raised as my own.
Because his father maintained all rights.
“Jamie, go brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Avery and I need an adult moment.”
“No.” I pulled Jamie back to me, afraid to let him out of my sight ever again. He might not come back.
Wyatt’s eyebrows lifted. “All right. Why don’t you help Jamie get ready for bed and tuck him in? I’ll be downstairs.” He left before I could reply, causing me to frown after him.
What just happened?
Oh, who cares, Jamie is back!
I hugged him again, earning me a groan that I adored far more than I should. “I missed you,” I breathed. “I missed you so much.”
“Next time, you come, too, ’kay? ’Cause I think you’d like Sarah lots. She’d be a good friend for you.”
“Sarah?” I repeated, frowning.
“Yep. She’s my new best friend. I like her more than rebel friend ’cause she’s funny. Well, rebel friend is funny, too. But in a different way.” Jamie pulled back, his little face thoughtful. “Can someone have two best friends?”
My heart was breaking over each word, but I couldn’t let it show. I’d already given away too much by being “sick” in his room when he got home. Clearing my throat, I finally sat up, swallowing the dread climbing up my throat.
“You can have as many friends as you want,” I finally managed to say, my voice softer than I intended. “Whatever makes you happy.”
“Ah, good, ’cause I like them both lots.” He brightened. “So next time, you come and meet them, ’kay? You need more friends, too. Lots of them.”
His words were a knife to my chest. He didn’t mean them that way, but I’d learned the truth of that statement over the last two days.
I had no one.
No one aside from Jamie.
Everyone I used to talk to sort of left after I took Jamie in, mostly because our lives didn’t gel anymore. It was hard to remain close when I had a son to take care of, especially one who wasn’t truly mine. A lot of my so-called friends told me to put the weight back on Jean, to force her to step up, but I couldn’t do that to Jamie. He deserved better.
However, it had left me alone.
Very, very alone.
“Auntie A sad,” Jamie said, his brow puckered. “Why sad?”
“I just missed you,” I whispered. “But I’ll be fine.”
Lies are bad, I always told him. Well, I’d just told the biggest one of all.
Because if this weekend showed me anything, it was that I would not be okay.
Not when Wyatt finally took Jamie away for good.
When will that be? Later tonight? Tomorrow? This week? Only Wyatt could answer that, and something told me he wouldn’t. Because he didn’t have to. At least, not in his mind.
It didn’t matter that I’d essentially raised his son for him these last four years. I was just an inconvenience related to a woman he clearly despised.
“You sure?” he asked, studying me intently in that eerily intelligent way of his. He saw far too much for a child his age.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I gave him my best smile, which probably appeared watered down and ugly.
His mouth twitched to the side. “You don’t need soup?”
If I didn’t feel so destroyed, I might have laughed. I probably did need soup considering I hadn’t eaten much since Friday, but food didn’t appeal to me at all. “I’m okay, dude. I don’t need any food.”
“ ’Kay.” His gaze brightened. “Gift time?”
That required going downstairs and facing Wyatt, something I was not ready to do. “What if I promise to open it tomorrow after you sleep? It’s past your bedtime.”
He sighed. “Bedtime, bedtime. I hate bedtime.”
“I’ll read to you,” I offered. “If you want.” He’d requested Wyatt the last few weeks, saying he enjoyed his voices better. I found it cute, so I didn’t mind. Tonight, however, I would mind if he turned me down.
Jamie glanced at his bookshelf and back at me. “I get to pick the story?”
“Of course.”
“And you’ll read to me?” he asked, warming my heart to where it almost beat again.
“I would love to.”
“Oooookay.”
Fortunately, that seemed to appease him, because he nodded and led me to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and went through his bedtime routine under my supervision. Then he picked out a book for me to read, just like old times. And fell asleep beside me.
I watched him for far too long, engraving every second into my thoughts in case this never happened again.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Jamie. I love you like you’re my own. No matter what happens.” A tear slid down my cheek, meeting his neck and causing him to stir. Or maybe it was my words. Or the way my body had begun to shake with a barely controlled sob.
I need to move before I break down right here and wake him.
With my hand over my mouth, holding in the sounds, I quickly crept out of his room and shut the door. Then I went straight to my room to take a shower.
That was the one place I could truly cry.
The sounds hidden by the running water.
I set the baby monitor up on the counter so I could hear Jamie if he needed me—could hear if Wyatt tried to take him again—and stepped inside the steaming marble.
And collapsed.
My heart and soul somewhere on the floor.
My life in ruins.
My future unknown.
17
Wyatt
What. The. Fuck?
I’d expected to find Avery well rested and excited to see us, not… broken. The way she’d clung to Jamie brought back so many memories of my own mother holding on to me.
Begging.
Pleading with Jonah not to take me.
But he always won.
His checkbook too big for her to argue. She needed him to survive, mostly because she’d given up everything to have me. She’d been too young, an innocent hotel clerk ensnared by a powerful man who refused to let her work anywhere in his industry again after getting her pregnant. Rather than fight him, or to try to find a new job, she gave in and agreed to his financial terms.
A deal with the proverbial devil.
One that he ended at his leisure, taking me from her ar
ms and leaving her to perish.
Avery’s expression tonight resembled my mother’s on the last day I saw her.
“I thought I was never going to see you again,” Avery had said.
And later…
“I love you like you’re my own. No matter what happens.”
I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but I wanted to understand. To find out what had put that shattered look on her beautiful face.
Had she thought we were gone for good? Didn’t she know I would tell her if I planned to take Jamie away from her?
No, better question—didn’t she realize just how impossible that would be?
He adored her, hadn’t stopped talking about her all weekend to everyone he met, saying over and over how much he wanted her to be there. It was why we’d bought her a souvenir—a gift that now sat on my dresser because I didn’t know how to give it to her.
I ran my fingers through my hair for the millionth time and blew out a breath. I’d left my door open, assuming Avery would want to talk. But she’d disappeared into her room over an hour ago. The water had run for thirty minutes, then the last half hour was too silent.
It was too early for her to go to bed.
So why hadn’t she come out yet? We clearly needed to discuss this.
I sound like a woman in a relationship—we need to talk.
“Shit.” I flopped onto my back, staring at the ceiling. Then sat back up again. “Fuck it.”
I needed to understand what was going through her head, and the only way to find out was to ask. It wasn’t like I just took Jamie away for the weekend without telling her. And hell, I’d booked her a spa package with a note suggesting she take the weekend to relax. So whatever had her all riled up was a misunderstanding, one we needed to address. Right now.
I didn’t bother putting on a shirt and, instead, wandered down the hall in just a pair of sweatpants. Avery’s door was ajar, her light still on inside.
I knocked softly. “Avery?”
No reply.
I nudged the door open just enough to see if she’d fallen asleep with her lamp on and found her sitting on her bed in a towel, staring at the wall.
“Avery?” I repeated.
Nothing.
“Are you seriously playing the silent game?” I demanded, shutting the door behind me and not giving a damn that she wasn’t properly dressed. Because fuck this shit. “What the hell is going on? Why are you so angry?”
Her head twisted slowly, her vacant eyes finding mine. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. What the hell is your problem?” I’d given her the weekend off. It was meant as a gift, one she clearly didn’t appreciate. And I had no idea why.
“My problem?” she repeated, standing, the first signs of life returning to her expression. “You want to know what my problem is?”
I folded my arms. “I—”
“My problem is that I have no rights,” she said, talking over me. “It doesn’t matter at all that I raised Jamie for the last four years. That I’ve cared for him as my own. That I’ve sacrificed everything for him. He’s not mine. He’s yours. And so, you’re allowed to just take him. Leaving me with nothing.” Her shoulders fell, tears brimming in her eyes.
I hated that look. Hated more that I’d put it there. “Sweetheart, I didn’t—”
She charged at me, shoving me hard in the chest. “Don’t call me that!” she yelled, shocking the hell out of me. “Don’t belittle me. Not now. Not over this. Not after…”
She cringed, her face etched in pain, her eyes an image that would haunt me forever. What have I done?
“You’ve ruined my life,” she whispered. “You’ve taken everything from me. He was mine. My world. And you took him.” Her fist slammed against my pec. Not hard enough to hurt, but it definitely grabbed my attention. More punches followed, each one more defeated as she repeated, “You took him. You took him. You took him!”
I wrapped my arms around her, catching her as she collapsed on a sob. The sound of her anguish pierced my insides, destroying me on a level I didn’t know existed. “Avery…”
“I hate you.” Her broken voice destroyed me, along with her heartfelt claim. “I… I…” She buried her head against my shoulder, her body shaking so violently from the onslaught of her emotions that it was a wonder her towel hadn’t fallen yet.
I carried her to the bed, holding her as she completely fell apart.
All her sadness, her anguish, and her fear poured out of her in hurtful waves that dragged me into the depths of the ocean with her. I absorbed it all, lent her my strength while she cried, and listened when she finally decided to speak.
Her words.
Her statements.
They left me at her feet, undone by her raw honesty. The pain I’d unknowingly caused. The burdens of her past.
She told me about Jean, how she constantly threw every burden and problem at Avery. Because Avery always fixed everything. She took care of others, including Jamie. And she adored that child, had loved him with all her heart, only to find out I existed.
“He’s the only one I have left,” she said, more than once. Apparently, this weekend had truly driven that point home because there’d been no one who could help her. She thought Jamie was gone, and she had no one to call apart from her sad excuse of a lawyer.
Hearing her side, understanding what she thought had happened, killed me. I had an explanation, one that would make this better, but she needed to confide in someone, and so I let her.
It was as if a dam had opened, allowing her to speak freely for the first time in years. Her wall of courage had crumbled, and she needed someone to help her restore it. And for some wild reason, she’d chosen me. Even though I’d been the one to destroy her, to bring her to her knees, it was my strength and reassurance she sought now. And I gave it to her in spades.
I gave her everything.
Because it was what she needed, what she deserved.
Since when do I care about others? I thought at one point. Then realized that was the very reason we’d landed in this mess. I hadn’t considered what my last-minute trip with Jamie would do to Avery. I made assumptions, thinking she’d be fine. Hell, I expected her to be happy.
How wrong I’d been.
“I’m not used to considering consequences,” I admitted what felt like hours later.
Avery had finally calmed down, her body cocooned against mine beneath the sheets, her head on my shoulder. It was probably the last place either of us expected to be tonight. Yet it felt amazingly right, apart from her damp face against my skin. I never wanted to make her cry again. Although, this hadn’t all been me.
The woman had been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She needed a break, she needed someone else to shoulder her burdens for her, at least for a little while. And I happily volunteered myself for the job. It was the least I could do after everything she’d done for me, for Jamie, and even for Jean. Avery deserved so much better, and a foreign part of me longed to give it to her.
My desire to destroy the woman I thought wanted to illegally adopt my son felt like a lifetime ago. I’d spent the entire weekend defending her, stating over and over that she couldn’t possibly be the woman Kincaid depicted in those documents.
Garrett said I was blinded by my dick.
He was wrong.
Avery had more than proven herself to be a hardworking, dedicated mother to my son. And tonight only further confirmed that my feelings about her were accurate.
She’s not Jean. Not even close.
No, Avery was, quite simply, amazing.
“Jamie broke my phone,” I told her now while combing my fingers through her long, blonde hair. “That’s why your calls went unanswered. I thought we were giving you a weekend off, to relax.” I understood now that we should have called her from Mershano Suites and given her an update. Jamie had asked several times. If only I’d listened to him, her pain could have been avoided. “I’m sorry, Avery.”
�
��It wasn’t very relaxing,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from all the crying.
“I see that now. But I hadn’t meant the spa appointments as a taunt. They were supposed to be a gift, a way to thank you for everything you’ve done.” And wow, that had backfired. She thought it’d been a cruel joke. “I’m not used to answering to others, to having to think about how my actions may impact another person. It sounds selfish and conceited, and I suppose it is, but it’s how I’ve lived for so long. I was more concerned with making Jamie comfortable than anything else, and I didn’t think it all through. But I never meant to take him from you.”
She remained quiet for so long that I thought maybe she’d fallen asleep. Until she cleared her throat. “And what about…? What about the future? When do you plan to take him?”
Avery had already admitted to not being ready to let Jamie go, to not knowing how to live without him, that he’d become her world. And each statement had reminded me of my own mother, what she must have gone through when Jonah took me from her.
“I won’t be doing anything without talking to you,” I admitted, brushing my lips over her forehead. “Which reminds me, I want to go on a field trip tomorrow.” Or later today, if I was reading that clock right. We’d been up half the night already. Normally, if I were up this late in a woman’s bed, it was to do something very different than holding her while she cried.
“Field trip?” Avery repeated, tilting her head back to stare up at me. “Where?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to go into it now.” Mostly because I didn’t have the energy to tell her everything Kincaid had found. Besides, it would be easier to show her. Garrett would be making the arrangements for me. I just had to show up at noon. “Are you able to take the day off work?” I’d meant to ask her that when I first arrived, but things had derailed swiftly.
“I’ve already called off,” she admitted. “I, well, I expected to spend the day with my lawyer.”
Hmm, yes, though I wasn’t sure how he could have helped her. Fortunately, it would no longer be necessary. “I know you don’t have a lot of reason to trust me—especially after this weekend—but I promise to talk to you before I make any further decisions about Jamie.”
The Rebel’s Redemption: Mershano Empire Series Page 12