Rya and Dallas are there, along with Carson. Cara and Cottom are also standing at the door. Cottom presses himself against the wall as Caleb goes by; he looks the same way he looked the first time Caleb entered Belac’s house. He held the scent of Belac’s spread legs on his mouth, and she held Cottom’s smell down her throat. Wary, alert, ready to run really fast because Caleb’s claws were out and so were all his teeth before Belac had to get hers out to channel Caleb away from Cottom’s neck.
If I close my eyes, I can still hear Belac telling Caleb how he ruined her life when they first met. That everything she has built is for nothing because it’s expected for her to be marked and taken away by him. The hatred I heard from her was always reserved for her brother, never anyone else. It’s the first time I ever saw her cry. Caleb had no idea what to do when she started crying. He opened up his arms, and Belac told him to go away, for now. She cried all night long; I was the one to hold her for the very first time. I held her until she fell asleep. She woke up assigned to her fate, shoulders bent, not the leader she was the day before. When her brother told her what was going to happen she spit in his face, and they fought. It’s not the first fight I witnessed between them, but I felt as if it would be their very last.
“I wanted to do this myself.” Cassius’s voice pulls me out of those memories.
“We want to come, plus Cara and Cottom didn’t go to the party last night. The Luna was excited for all of us to come as soon as possible. She has a beta that has been rejected by his mate, and her son lost his mate a few years ago. There are two available females there as well.” Rya points all the reasons that all of them should go, and Cassius relents with a nod of his head.
“I’m ready. Are you guys?” Dallas is letting the pups go out the front door first with their suitcases on wheels. Caleb nudges the shoulder of Cottom before going out the door. Cottom does not move. Not even blink. He lets the male go by him. Never provoke Caleb.
Cottom found out the hard way when he tried to joke about the situation between them. Caleb wasn’t laughing. He’s no jester.
Caleb destroyed Cottom’s face. Dallas had to pull him off the male who couldn’t get off the ground after the altercation. Currently, they are trying to find Cottom a new pack to go to. Clayton’s pack seems like the perfect fit, but Caleb visits that pack a lot.
Cottom doesn’t want to leave until Belac comes back, but I’m afraid for him if he stays. The violence is escalating. He wants to say his goodbyes to our leader of the Wildflower gang, as Rya likes to call her. To her, we are Wildflowers.
Everyone makes it outside; Caleb is holding onto Dee’s hand while trying to keep the two small males out of the front ditch. He turns toward me. “Aren’t you coming?” I shake my head no and open up the passenger side door to Cassius’s truck.
“You’re coming?” Cassius frowns.
I nod my head, looking straight ahead while clicking my seatbelt.
“You shouldn’t come, Specs.” His hand squeezes into a fist. I want to ask him why, but the armor of my teeth keeps everything inside; nothing is able to escape through the small gaps between enamel.
The drive is quiet. He doesn’t talk over the radio like he always does when it’s him and me inside of here.
I watch the way his fingers grip the steering wheel, flexing his hands at times. He actually checks his face in the mirror, and I want to tell him he’s beautiful. The words stick like thick syrup in my throat. It’s hard to swallow.
Letter 3
Cash,
Dallas is back without Rya and I can’t help but feel relief for Clayton.
I hope Clayton is happy. I hope Rya can forgive him. After all, she forgave me in her own way, didn’t she?
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. I am. I am so jealous it’s hard to breathe. I hate her most of the time. I hate her so much my gut hurts. When I found out Rya was Clayton’s mate, I wasn’t that jealous of her. She wasn’t anything I should be jealous of and Clayton didn’t really seem affected too much by the bond.
We were cruel to her, we were cruel, and looking back, cruelty isn’t what love should be.
My jealousy grew over the years, as she grew. We didn’t see her a lot, but when we did, I would watch Clayton and see if he was affected by her. Sometimes I would catch him staring at her. I’d catch how more and more his eyes couldn’t look away from her. Then she went away and I prayed she’d stay away.
Every time Clayton tried to mark me, my hatred for Rya grew. The mark never stayed, and after some time, it hurt to be bitten by him. It hurt so bad that I had to tell him he couldn’t try to mark me because I couldn’t take the pain from his bite. When your teeth sunk into my neck, I thought I actually could die from pleasure; it was so intense that I came. You felt me come with your teeth dug deep. Your mark stayed and I fucking hated you for it, but deep down, I wanted you to do it again and again so I could pretend it was Clayton that was doing it to me.
I hated Rya when my heat came. Clayton couldn’t get me pregnant. We would pray to the Moon together to give us a miracle at first, then we would curse the Moon for her selfishness. Clayton and I could have made a beautiful family.
I’m looking down at my belly right now, watching the twins move inside me, and sometimes I pretend they are Clayton’s, and you are just a dream, a terrible dream.
You thought things would change when I became pregnant, that I’d come around. The look on your face when you found out I tried to get rid of them. All I ever wanted was to be a mother, and here I was trying my best to kill what was inside me. You took the silver hook from my hand and I honestly thought you would put it through my throat. I begged you to do it.
I knew that changed you. I knew seeing me with my legs spread and the blood on my hands that it changed you. If I ever hoped of being loved by you, it vanished that day. I don’t blame you for everything that happened after that. I blame myself more.
The way you screamed at me, it shook my wall I built to combat you, the bond, everything. Your finger pointed at me and you yelled, that all I wanted for the longest time was to be a mother. Then I screamed back, that you were right, I wanted to be a mother but not to your pup. I told you that the pup would come out weak just like you. I told you I could never love something so weak and small. I told you that you could never measure up to Clayton. You let me slap you that day. You let me hit you over and over again until I fell down. I think I bit you, and you didn’t hit me back, you went quiet, and I think that was the scariest I ever saw you. Something inside you broke that day. I felt the snap.
You shaved your head, and I wanted to die.
That scene always plays out in my mind. If you didn’t come at that time, I think I would have succeeded in killing them. I don’t think I would have ever been able to forgive myself if I did that.
I apologize for saying all those terrible things to you. They won’t be weak because they came from you. I was angry. Anger drives you to say things you don’t mean. Not an excuse. I shouldn’t be excused for what I have said to you. I just want you to know I’m sorry.
Sometimes I think my love made me become this monster willing to kill anything that stood in my love’s way—even my own children.
I’m sick. I feel sick that I could even go there, to try and kill my pups because they came from you and not him.
When you read this letter, burn it. Never let the twins see this because it would fuck their minds up if they knew their mother wanted to kill them. They would be fucked up for the rest of their lives if they knew I tried to get rid of them. Tell them their mother always wanted them and that I love them.
Kennedy
Chapter 4
Peach Bruises Form after the Study in Scarlet
It feels as if I’ve started to bleed internally when the truck stops.
“Are you all right, Specs?” The palm of his hand cups the back of my head to trail fingers down my neck to rest on my shoulder. I feel the weight of it. Heavy, warm, tender.
; I want to say, “Look at me, I’m right here,” but I can’t say it because he’s staring right at me.
He frowns, clearing his throat.
“Have a drink of water.” He twists off the cap, handing me the bottle. It’s hard to drink, even harder to swallow. I choke, and he rubs my back in small circles with his fingertips.
“Don’t be nervous; I’m right here. Nothing is going to hurt you in there. Nothing. The evil queen can’t get you when you have your knight by your side.” He brings his made-up fairytale story between us as he searches my face. Cassius gives me a crooked smile, and I have no choice but to follow his lead and give him mine back.
It ends with him getting out of the truck and me closing my door. I follow behind him, watching the nerves knot along his spine. Even his breathing is changed, and he wipes his hands on his jeans. He never gets nervous. Never.
It starts with me pressing the flat part of my palm between the shoulder blades of his back, trying to ease the tension. He leans his spine into the touch. I wasn’t prepared for that.
“Thanks, Specs.” The smile he gives me curves at the edge of his mouth, and I want to curve myself sideways just watching that face.
Dallas’s knock on the door draws the smile away from Cassius. Rya is holding a jar of honey that she gives as gifts to the packs she visits. They are from the wildflower garden she planted in a barren spot that was hard to grow anything in the territory. Now it’s full of life and the best honey is made from it. The farm even makes wildflower soap now.
Cassius takes a long breath and fixes his face straight.
“Welcome, please come in.” The Luna of the pack is there to greet us all with a smile showing a hint of teeth.
“I brought a small gift for you, and thank you for letting us come today on such short notice.” Rya hands the dark honey to the Luna, who is smiling wider. A very respectful smile, I think that’s what Luna Grace would say about it.
“It’s wildflower honey. My mate has several beehives on our territory that she takes care of in her spare time.” Dallas’s voice is light when his eyes fall on Rya’s.
“You’ve grown since the last time I saw you. How’s your mother and father doing?” The Alpha isn’t bigger than Dallas, who now is exactly the same height as his father. Luna Grace made a comment a few months ago about noticing how Dallas is coming into himself. She squeezed the Silverback’s hand while pressing a kiss to his eye that was swelled shut. It was the first time Dallas got the best of his father.
“Good. They wanted to come, but Cash thought it best they stay home. This isn’t official.”
“Understandable. This is my son, Tate.” A male steps forward with his hand outstretched.
“Dallas.” His hand engulfs the other male’s hand.
“This is my mate, Rya.” Dallas holds Rya by the hip.
“My brothers, Cash and Carson.”
A hand reaches behind, pulling me from my hiding spot.
“This is our Treajure.” Dallas has a way of making me feel that I belong to everything.
A gasp from the Luna with her hand over her mouth. Pushing my glasses back up, I keep my head raised. I feel like peeing.
“Is she from your pack?” The words are bristled out.
“She’s part of our pack now.” Rya’s tone is in direct contrast with the Alpha’s tone.
“What pack did she come from?” Every pack I come into contact with wants to know where I come from. They hold hunt in their voices; they just don’t understand that the man is a hunter and nothing survives long once he catches you. They all would die, and I would be the cause of it if I open my mouth and talk.
“We don’t know where she comes from. She doesn’t talk much.” Rya presses her chest into my back and gives me a soft hug from behind. A nudge of her cheek to mine.
“It’s nice to have you here, Treajure. Please feel at home in our house.” The Luna steps closer; I have to concentrate not to pee when she presses her cheek to mine. Rya is holding my hand, and I squeeze hers back.
“This is Cottom, and this is Cara.” Dallas finishes our informal introductions. Cara tries to look at the future Alpha, and he doesn’t give her any notice.
We are directed toward a table that can’t even compare to the Valentines’ table. Nothing can compare to that table, ever.
Dallas sits directly across at the end of the table from the Alpha. A place of honor. Rya takes his right. We all sit down after that. Cassius keeps looking around because there are no females here. Maybe she decided not to show up and I could almost sing. Almost.
There is another male wolf that wasn’t introduced by the Luna. He’s a big wolf, just as big as Caleb, not much smaller than their future Alpha, Tate. He keeps looking at Carson.
A hard knock on the door before it’s swung open has Cassius straightening in the chair. The ridge of my spine stiffens because two she-wolves walk in who make my shoulders sink down.
No scars, no glasses. “I brought the wine.” No problems speaking even if she sounds nervous. I don’t understand why she’s nervous; I’d love to be what she is.
“What a treat for us.” The Luna takes the box from her hands.
“This is Addie and Hazel.” There is pride held in how the Luna says Addie. I thought for sure she would be Hazel. The way the Luna says Hazel is filled with distaste; she can’t even pretend to smile through the name.
Caramel would be jealous of the color of her eyes, with a hint of mint that clings around her pupils. They remind me of Kennedy’s picture that Cassius tells his day to in the middle of the night. She’s fully female, fully on display, and fully stoned out of her mind. Lips open, then half-close. She has great hair, I think to myself while touching my own hair.
This is what bleeding feels like, watching him look at her. He’s never looked at another female that way before except for the wall picture and on very rare occasions I thought he looked at me that way before he turned his eyes away to focus on something else.
He is soaking in the rays of her while I can’t help feel the wilt of skin and bones.
Blood rushes in. “This is my mate, Rya.” He sounds far away introducing everyone.
“This is Cottom, Treajure, and Cara.” I have to tear away from his eyes to look into hers that grow wide, then half-lid back down. Hazel sways with a wobble. She might be drunk too.
“My brothers Carson and Cash.” There is a tug of a smile on Cassius’s lip; my heart bleeds for that smile. I’m bleeding out in front of everyone, and no one even knows.
“I thought this was an unofficial visit?” There is something sharp and stabbing behind Hazel’s words. She points a slender finger at the son of the Alpha. Her face is all fire, and a vein in her forehead pulses.
Cassius stands. “They insisted on coming. If it were up to me, I’d be alone with you right now.”
I am bleeding…
The words blaze a fire through me. I’m burning up—turning to ash by what he just said. I don’t want to burn, not this way. Not like this.
“Really.” It’s sneered out, through teeth that flash, sharp and white. She’s no longer soft; she’s stone-edged. Her focus seems to come back as she sits down. Disgruntled.
“Would anyone like some wine?” The Luna seems nervous. Hazel has a fight in her eyes when she regards Cassius.
Hazel reaches for a bottle of wine, fills her glass to the rim, leans over, and loudly slurps from the edge. She smiles now. I look at everyone and everyone is watching her like she’s a show you can’t look away from.
Her fingers curl around the stem of the glass, knuckles blanched white.
Without any manners, she lifts the glass to her lips and pours the wine down her throat in one swallow. Even Crane, the pussy smasher, would be put to shame with how fast she just chugged a glass of wine back.
She pours another.
There is a belligerent look in her eyes toward Cassius, with a lifted lip flashing whites in disrespect. If I had a knife, I would throat cut her.
<
br /> Carson is open-mouthed, Rya shifts in her seat, and Cassius looks unbothered.
“Addie, this is good. You made this yourself?” the male that wasn’t introduced says, loud and proud. Impressed.
“Yes, it’s my grandmother’s recipe, but I made it.” Her face blushes, lips unloosen, a smile creeps out.
“What kind of wine is this?” Rya is focused on the wine, not on Hazel, who is taking bigger and bigger swallows from her glass.
“Honeydew wine. It’s made with the leftover fruit I have in my garden. I have honeydew, apple, and pear wine.” Addie’s shoulders seem to curl around themselves after she’s done speaking. All eyes are on her as she stares at her plate.
“It’s delicious,” Hazel slurs, exaggerating the word delicious. Her second glass of wine is gone and she’s moving on to the third.
“So, Tommie, what are you doing now?” Carson asks the male who the Luna never bothered to tell us his name. Tommie, it suits him.
“I’m working in the investment division in the pack.” Tommie shifts in his seat. The tips of his ears are red, with hair falling into his eyes before he pushes it back.
“Really? I thought you were being recruited hard by that firm in the city.” Carson leans into the table. I can’t stop staring at Cassius, who can’t look away from Hazel.
“I decided not to go with them, not a good fit.” Tommie sips on his drink; he swallows loudly.
“Did you go to the same school as Tommie?” a female asks that is sitting beside the Luna, who just asked Carson the question.
“We went to school, even had a few classes together. We did some training as well.” Tommie’s hand goes through his hair. His neck is red.
Hazel gives Cassius eyes that could maim. She doesn’t like Cassius, and for a selfish moment, I want to scream thank you to the Moon.
“You look familiar. Have we met?” Rya asks Tommie, but all I can hear is the pounding of my own heart, because I can see the pound of Cassius’s neck vein, dilated and pulsing.
The Wildflower Series Page 55