by Alexa Aston
More than anything, Geoffrey loved his wife enough to do what it would take to make her happy. He’d hurt her more than he had realized. He refused to continue to be a burden to her.
The time to contemplate was over. He knew the sacrifice he must make.
Geoffrey slipped from Mystery’s back but let the reins drop to the ground so that the horse could go free. He pulled out a knife from his boot, one that he’d found in the lodge and used to kill some game during the past few days.
Dropping to his knees, he raised his eyes to the heavens as tears streamed down his cheeks.
“Merciful Father, I ask your forgiveness for what I do. Please keep my sweet Merryn safe. Bring some happiness into her life, for I have made it miserable since I returned. I am no longer the husband she married and the man she loved. I am not worthy. Bless her and my children, Father. What I do, I do for her.”
And then Geoffrey slashed the blade across his wrist.
Chapter 23
“No!”
Geoffrey turned and saw Raynor ride into the clearing. His cousin leapt from his steed and rushed to him.
But not before he swiped the blade across his wrist again.
Raynor charged into him, knocking them both to the ground. The knife fell from Geoffrey’s hand. Raynor grabbed the dagger and flung it into the trees.
“God’s wounds, Geoffrey! What are you doing?” His cousin stood and then pulled him to his feet. Raynor tore a strip of cloth from his gypon and grabbed Geoffrey’s arm, shoving the sleeve up to bind the wound.
A small trickle of blood dribbled along Geoffrey’s wrist where he had twice tried to cut into the thickly-scarred flesh. Frowning, Raynor yanked the arm closer and examined it. Then without speaking, his cousin dragged him inside the hunting lodge. He found a bucket of water and bathed the cut skin in it before winding the cloth around it for protection.
Raynor seethed with anger. “Who did that to you, Geoffrey? Those scars run so deep that despite your frantic slashing, you barely punctured your skin.”
Geoffrey walked away and sat, knowing he must remain silent. Raynor followed him and took the chair opposite him.
“Why should you care?” Geoffrey finally asked. “You want me gone. I want the same. ’Twould be better for Merryn if I no longer existed.” His eyes met Raynor’s. “I heard your conversation in the forest. You declared your love for her. You begged her to seek an annulment.”
His cousin turned a dull red. “I am sorry that you did. But you obviously did not hear all of it.” Raynor ran a hand through his hair. “Merryn rejected me. She only wants you.”
Geoffrey’s heart pounded faster.
“She told me she only needed you,” Raynor continued. “That she had depended upon me for my help in running Kinwick all these years.” He shook his head. “She even apologized if she gave me a false impression regarding her feelings. Merryn told me that you are the only man she’ll ever love and she will take what she can get of you. Then she spurred her horse and galloped away. Mad as a hornet.”
Raynor rose and began pacing the small room. “I realized you deserved a second chance with one another, so I came to drag your sorry carcass back to Kinwick—even if I had to club you unconscious and lash you to your horse to get you there.”
Geoffrey had lived off hope for so many years in the dungeons of Winterbourne. He clung to it tightly now, allowing it to blanket him.
Merryn still wanted him, despite how he had disappointed her. He would do whatever it took to get in her good graces. He must justify her faith in him.
Geoffrey stood. “Then I suppose we should ride to Kinwick at once.”
The men left the hunting lodge and gathered up their reins. Geoffrey could not fault his cousin for falling under Merryn’s spell. He supposed all men fell a little in love when they met his wife. Her outer beauty was but a fraction of the inner beauty she held. He knew when push came to shove that Raynor would be in his corner—else he’d never have come to retrieve him in the first place.
They rode through Kinwick farmlands. As they passed, several people in the fields called out his name and jauntily waved. He greeted them in the same fashion, some of his old confidence returning.
The gates swung open and they made their way to the stables. A stable boy took their horses and promised to look after them, his eyes round with wonder at setting eyes upon the master. As they headed through the inner bailey, Raynor slapped him on the back, their old camaraderie once again evident, no grudges between them.
That pleased Geoffrey. He wouldn’t wish to be at odds with his cousin. He considered Raynor his best friend. And from Raynor’s words, he had stood by Merryn during her darkest time and aided her in the running of Kinwick.
“I owe you much, Raynor. Thank you. For everything.”
Geoffrey raced up the steps to the keep. Before he reached the top, the door flew open. Alys burst through the door as if catapulted from a trebuchet. She squealed with delight as she caught sight of him. He ran the last few steps as she latched onto his leg, holding on with a death grip. Ancel followed her but stood back, reluctant to give his affection so easily to a man who had deserted him and his mother.
He ruffled Ancel’s hair and then bent and hugged them both. As he stood, Geoffrey grasped each twin about the waist and tucked them under his arms. He marched through the door and didn’t stop till he reached the great hall. They giggled and squirmed as he spun round and round until he had to stop before he dropped them from dizziness.
As he looked up, his mother approached him, a tentative smile on her lips. He released the twins and strode toward her. Geoffrey enveloped her in his arms. She clung to him. It concerned him how thin she’d grown, but he would be present to remind her to eat. After all, she would have more grandchildren to look after if he had his way. She must keep up her strength.
Geoffrey spent the next hour visiting with many servants who appeared to welcome him home. Merryn must have spoken to the people as a group, for none asked him where he’d been or why he’d stayed away for so long.
Finally, he knew the time had come to see his wife.
He looked at his children, one perched upon each knee. He gave both a kiss and threw in a tickle for good measure.
“We shall celebrate my return this eve,” he promised them. “Now run along. I must speak with your mother.”
They scrambled down, eager to please him. Merryn had done a good job in raising them. He couldn’t wait to learn everything about them. Their likes and dislikes. What foods they enjoyed and what games they played. He’d already missed much of their lives and wanted to make up for that lost time.
Tilda appeared at his elbow. “My lord.” She bowed. “My lady awaits you in the solar.”
That took him aback. The night Raynor slipped him into the castle, Merryn had taken him to the bedchamber he’d used growing up. The one where they’d spent their wedding night. She had told him she remained in it all these years.
Geoffrey climbed the stairs to the rooms above. He walked toward the solar, his heart pounding. It had been his parents’ room and where the family gathered during private times. He had fond memories of his older sisters there with him before their marriages. Playing games. Sewing. Reading. Telling tales. He approached the door and knocked.
“Come,” a voice called out. The voice that made his heart skip a beat. The voice of the one woman he would always love.
Geoffrey pushed the door open and stepped inside. The large room spoke of comfort and status. He had loved the decorative woodwork and tapestries that hung on the walls, as well as the huge fireplace and scattered tables and chairs. More than any place at Kinwick, this one room said home to him.
Merryn stood by the fireplace, her hands folded in front of her. She’d changed from the light blue cotehardie she’d worn at the hunting lodge and now wore one of midnight blue. The color brought out her sapphire eyes. As before, his brooch graced the area slightly above her heart.
Geoffrey knelt befor
e her. His rough hands clasped hers. They gazed at each other wordlessly as he drank in Merryn’s beauty.
“I tried to take my life,” he said. “I believed I was a tremendous burden upon you and you have had far too many of those these last few years.”
Her body trembled. Her eyes welled with tears as she looked upon his bandaged wrist.
“I know you have doubts about us, Merryn. Even fears.” He tightened his grip. “I doubt I will ever be good enough for you. But I pledge to do whatever I can so you will believe in me—in us—again. I love you, Merryn de Montfort. More than life itself.”
“I let my anger get the best of me,” she admitted. “I should have focused on your return and rejoiced that I had you in my life once more. Instead, I allowed a wicked emotion to come between us. No more, my love.”
She tugged on his hands. He rose to his feet, standing mere inches from her.
“You cannot tell me of those missing years because of your honor as a knight and vassal to the king. I do not like it, but I will accept it. For in truth, the most important thing is that you have come back to me. God wrought an amazing miracle and I tossed it back in His face.”
Merryn’s face showed her concern. “I do trust you, Geoffrey. And I love you. With all my heart.” She glanced about them. “And here, in this solar—the private chambers for the lord of Kinwick—I hope to forge a new beginning with you.”
Tears fell from his eyes. “Know that every day I was apart from you, sweetheart, you were constantly in my thoughts. I did what I had to do to come back to you. I would march through the fires of Hell itself for a single smile from your lips.”
Merryn’s own tears spilled onto her gown. “I plan to give you that smile and many more for the rest of the days we will share together.”
Geoffrey embraced her, his throat thick with emotion. The sweetness of this moment would live within him till his dying day. He kissed his wife with a yearning that he hoped spoke of his endless love for her. She returned it with abandon and joy.
He finally broke the kiss, both of them breathless.
Then Merryn gave him a tender smile. “You know, my lord, you have seen the outer room—but the bedchamber awaits beyond that door.”
Geoffrey swept her into his arms. “I believe the lord of Kinwick must investigate every inch of the solar. And every inch of his lady.”
He carried her beyond the family room and into the bedchamber.
“Come, let me love you,” he whispered into her ear as he placed her on the bed.
Chapter 24
It surprised Geoffrey how quickly he adjusted to life at Kinwick. He saw familiar faces everywhere he turned and caught up on what had passed in his time away—marriages, deaths, and the birth of many babes.
Touring the estate on horseback, Merryn pointed out improvements that had been made and new fields that were being plowed. Farming and husbandry had never interested Geoffrey. His training had prepared him for war. But during this new time of peace, he found an appreciation for how Kinwick ran. Under Merryn’s leadership, the estate proved self-sufficient.
Going over the ledgers with his wife, he saw the profit the lands turned while he had been away. Though he still looked forward to training exercises with the knights of Kinwick, Geoffrey was happy to settle into a more domestic kind of life with his family.
Only the king’s upcoming visit worried him.
“You will find our king is witty in conversation,” Merryn shared. “He is one of the most intelligent men in the kingdom and still handsome for his age. His only flaw is his petulant attitude. Edward is quick to anger, almost like a small child who’s denied a toy.”
Though Geoffrey had only seen the king from a distance, Merryn told him Edward had visited Kinwick twice and would return for a third time during June. As May ended, Geoffrey’s anxiety grew.
Until a missive arrived.
He entered the great hall after spending most of the morning poring over the ledgers to familiarize himself with the husbandry of the estate. Kinwick easily fed its people. After storing an adequate amount of grain and keeping a certain number of animals from the herds each year, Merryn had begun selling off the surplus. Her planning left Kinwick with an abundance in its treasury. With the upcoming royal visit, the extra money would be needed. When Geoffrey studied how expensive it had been to entertain the king and his court on their last visit two years ago, the sum left him speechless.
The noon meal was about to start. He went to the dais and took his place next to his wife. Father Dannet blessed the meal. The pantler brought them bread and butter. Geoffrey split the trencher in half as Merryn accepted cups of poured ale from a page. He downed it and motioned for it to be filled again.
“Who knew laboring over numbers could be such thirsty work?” he said teasingly.
“I am happy for you to take on that responsibility,” Merryn replied. “And before the royal progress arrives, we should take a few days to visit all of Kinwick’s tenants.” She took a sip of ale. “They need to see you in person, Geoffrey. You can determine what repairs should be made to the various cottages across the estate.”
“When would these repairs begin?” he asked, interested in her opinion.
“Not until the fall harvest has been gathered. Winter is the best time.” Merryn took a bite of the pheasant. “Cook has done well today.”
Geoffrey bit into the boiled pheasant, succulent and spiced to perfection. Already, he had gained weight thanks to Cook’s delicious meals. His clothes fit him better and he felt stronger each day. The time to begin training again with his knights had come. He would spend time in the yard starting tomorrow.
Tilda appeared with a scroll in her hand. “My lord. This just arrived from the Earl of Winterbourne. The messenger said a reply is requested.”
She handed him the scroll. Geoffrey dropped it on the table as if it might burn his fingers. He returned to his meal. But what he swallowed left a sour taste as his stomach knotted painfully. Dread rippled through his body. He forced himself to keep his seat instead of fleeing from the hall in terror.
“I wonder what Lord Hardwin wants,” mused Merryn. “This is the first we’ve heard from him since his father’s funeral.”
Just hearing that name made Geoffrey’s head pound. He broke out in cold sweat.
“Open it,” she urged. “My curiosity is aroused.” She rested a hand upon his thigh under the trestle table.
Usually, her touch brought him comfort. He tried to draw strength from her love for him as he broke the seal and unrolled the missive. Geoffrey allowed Merryn to hold the left side as he did the right so they could read together.
To my special friends Lord Geoffrey and Lady Merryn—
I would ask for the pleasure of your company tonight at Winterbourne. We can dine in private as I introduce you to my betrothed. I also have a small favor to ask of you.
I hope to see you in good spirits and that you will accept my hospitality and stay the night before returning to Kinwick on the morrow.
Winterbourne
“We’ve never been close with those at Winterbourne, thanks to Lord Berold,” Merryn said. “It’s nice that Lord Hardwin is reaching out in friendship.” Merryn gave Geoffrey’s thigh a squeeze and took a sip from her cup. “I wonder what favor he might ask of us.”
A chill ran through him despite the warmth of the room. Hardie had asked two things of him when he granted Geoffrey his freedom. Geoffrey had kept his word and not revealed Berold’s role in his disappearance. Doing so had almost cost him Merryn’s love and trust. The second had been to grant some future favor, no matter what Hardie asked of him. That time had now arrived.
Geoffrey wondered what the price of his freedom would truly cost.
*
Geoffrey escorted Merryn into the great hall of Winterbourne. He glanced about the room and thought of all the meals taken here, all the feasts and celebrations that had occurred, while he shivered with cold and hunger in the damp dungeons below.
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“Welcome, my friends.”
Hardie approach them, his arms spread wide. The earl greeted Merryn with a kiss and then stretched a hand in greeting to Geoffrey. He took the offered hand as Hardie clapped him on the back.
“I am delighted that you accepted my invitation. Come. You must meet Johamma.”
They followed Hardie up a winding staircase to the solar. A petite, dark-haired girl of about ten and six sat with needle and thread. She smiled shyly as she put her sewing aside and stood to drop a curtsey.
Hardie took her elbow and guided her over. “This is Johamma, my betrothed. We shall marry soon.”
“I am pleased to meet you, Lord Geoffrey. Lady Merryn. Hardie has spoken highly of you both. I hope you will be able to attend our wedding.”
“We would be honored to see you joined in marriage with the earl,” Merryn told the girl. “Have you set the date?”
“No,” Hardie replied. “But I am eager for us to wed.”
“I only wish my parents could be here,” Johamma said. “They both passed away several years ago. My aunt and uncle raised me, but they are elderly and will be unable to travel to Winterbourne for our wedding.”
“Then I have an idea,” Merryn said. “King Edward will visit Kinwick this very month. He loves pageants and tournaments and any event which brings people together. I believe holding a wedding while he is here would be of great joy to him and the queen. What do you say? Would you like to marry at Kinwick before our king?”
Geoffrey’s hands fisted at his side. He held back the fury that raged through him. He saw the look of surprise cross Johamma’s face and then the sweet smile as she looked up at her intended.
Hardie ignored her and met Geoffrey’s eyes. “Would that suit you, my lord? I would not wish to impose on you in any way.”
Geoffrey forced his hands to relax. “We would be honored to host your wedding, my lord.”
“Then it’s settled,” declared Merryn. “Johamma and I shall see to the details.” She smiled at the young woman. “I look forward to getting to know our new neighbor as we plan for the wedding and feast.”