by Ella Maven
“That won’t happen.” I could hear the frown in his voice.
I propped my chin on my fist to look at him and yes, his lips were turned down in a frown. “How do you know? Amnesia is a thing. Head injury, mental trauma. It can be caused buy a lot.”
He hesitated before speaking again. “Then we’ll start over again.”
My stomach fluttered. “What?”
He shrugged. “We’ll start again rebuilding what we have. Because I know you, Bloom. I’ll always know you.”
“Bloom?”
I shook my head out of my thoughts. Last night’s dream was so vivid, and I couldn’t understand why I had it. Would I lose my memories again? No matter what Cravus said, that would cause him great pain.
“Bloom?” he spoke again, louder this time.
I jerked to attention and rubbed my eyes. “Yeah, sorry.”
“Are you feeling okay?” He was frowning, but this one was full of concern.
I smiled at him. “I’m fine.”
A while back, we’d begun to see the buildings of Haliya dot the skyline, and with every step we drew closer. After finally taking our hands off each other in that cave, we’d enjoyed some grilled croyc before attacking the last leg of our journey. Cravus aid we’d arrive at the gates by nightfall.
“The Kaluma will have contacted the Council, so they should be expecting us.”
He was eager to get home. I could tell by how fast his strides were getting. I practically had to run to keep up with him. Skags had long retreated to his sling on my chest and slept peacefully while sweat dripped down my back.
“Do the Kaluma have aircraft to travel between planets?” I asked.
“We do, but usually the Council gives us passage—it’s included as a bonus when we get contracts for our missions.”
“And they’ll let me go home with you?”
He snorted. “I’d like to see them try to do anything else.” He smiled. “Don’t worry, their job was to find you a decent home anyway, and now they don’t have to pay your living expenses.”
“What does that mean?”
“When they arrange for a species to be rehomed, they pay their new owners for a period of time until they agree to your full-time care or send you back.”
I couldn’t help wrinkling my nose. “And I would have been… alone. Alone and scared and unsure of who or what I was…” I shuddered. “I don’t want that existence.”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “And you won’t get it.”
The sun had just kissed the edge of the horizon when a dust cloud exited the gates of Haliya and made its way toward us.
“That must be the Council,” Cravus pointed out.
“Nice of them to come get us,” I murmured, watching the dust ball grow closer. I could just make out the silhouette of a vehicle. “You must be special.”
“We have a good relationship with the Council. Bosa worked for them for several cycles and never failed a job.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting Bosa.”
Cravus’s grin widened, and his eyes went a little distant. “He’ll be happy to meet you too.”
Cravus gripped my hand as the vehicle sped closer. We stopped when it came to a halt in front of us. I waved the sand dust out of my face and sputtered as the doors opened and a few massive, armored aliens with yellow eyes emerged. I took a step back, uncertain of these big furry creatures, but Cravus held me in place.
He stood tall and strong, chin lifted, as another creature slowly emerged. He was silver-furred and hunchbacked. His front fists dragged the ground, and his head was a concave disk. He had three holes below his neck, which opened to reveal teeth from over top a protruding lower lip. He was ugly, and a little scary, but Cravus didn’t waver.
“I want to again apologize for the behavior of my fellow Ubilque who was not honest with Bosa about his last mission. Garquin has been dealt with.” Cravus nodded, and only then did the Ubilque draw closer. His eyes, nearly in shadow, shifted to me. “Hello human, I’m Jukren.”
I nodded, my voice failing me. He didn’t need to know my name, did he? I just wanted to be somewhere alone with Cravus. I didn’t like all these eyes on me. But apparently, I was already dismissed, because Jukren immediately focused back on Cravus. “We have a new owner already lined up for her—”
“She’ll be coming with me.”
Jukren’s fur rippled down his back. “Excuse me?”
“You don’t have to pay us any living expenses. I’m keeping her. She’ll be going home with me. If I need to pay extra for her transport, I will.”
Jukren blinked at Cravus then turned to another Ubilque who was just now emerging from the car. “The Kaluma wants to take the human with him.”
They both stared at each other a moment, and unease slid under my skin like a splinter. Next to me, Cravus shifted his weight and his muscles tensed.
“Is there a problem?” he asked sharply.
The other Ubilque clapped his furred mits. “No, of course not. None at all. Please settle yourself in the back of the vehicle.”
“Are we heading to the docks now?” he asked.
“We learned of your impending arrival a little last minute, so we’ll need to have you spend the night in Haliya.”
Cravus’s nostrils flared, and I knew he didn’t like that answer. “We can just spend the night out here—”
“We insist.” The Ubilque’s mouths stretched into smiles that were more horrifying than reassuring.
Cravus’s jaw flexed, and then he nodded before pulling me along beside him. “We will accept your hospitality.”
He was so formal with them, and when he walked past, I noticed they backed up, clearly aware of his power and how he could harm them if he wished. As long as I had Cravus at my side, I knew everything would be okay, even if these creatures gave me the creeps. They were the good guys. I shouldn’t judge just because they weren’t cute and cuddly aliens. I kind of wanted to touch their fur, but I didn’t dare reach out, worried they’d bite my hand off with one of their mouths.
Cravus helped me inside first, and I settled into a backseat before he climbed in after me. Jukren leaned in as Cravus helped me get settled. I saw the flash of something shiny in his hand catch the light of the setting sun. My eyes met his, and this time, he wasn’t smiling. He lifted his hand and before I could get a shout out, he plunged a needle into the side of Cravus’s neck.
“No!” I screamed just as Cravus let out a roar that nearly blew out my ear drums. He threw himself out of the vehicle, but the Ubilque sidestepped out of the way, so Cravus hit the ground on all fours. His body swayed, and I lunged out after him, collapsing to the ground at his side as he began to foam at the mouth.
“What did you do?” I screeched at the Ubilques, who stood in front of us, backed by four of the armored guards. “What did you do?”
“He won’t die,” Jukren said calmly.
Cravus was convulsing, his eyes rolling back in his head, and I held onto him as his body shook. Through gritted teeth, I could just make out one word, repeated over and over again. “Bloom. Bloom. Bloom.”
“Then why did you do this? What’s going to happen to him?”
The Ubilque leaned down where I was on my knees, Cravus’s head in my lap. “The same thing that happened to you. We’re erasing his mind.”
I didn’t think. Rage ignited my blood. Pain and terror seized my heart. So, I attacked. I felt a blow on the side of my head, and my world went dark.
When I woke up, the first thing I saw in the dim light were bars. Metal bars. I gripped them and tugged, but they didn’t even rattle. I was back in a cage, somewhere I promised myself I’d never be again. My head pounded, and when I prodded my temple, my fingers scraped dried blood. What had happened? My brain was moving too sluggishly.
Desperation swamped me as I felt in the sling for Skags. Finding it empty, I scrambled on my hands and knees searching my cage for his furry body. “Skags?” I called out, and I heard his
squawk in response. Peering through the bars of my cage, I found him in his own little cage nearby, peering at me as his whole body trembled in fright. “Skags,” I pressed my palm against my forehead in an attempt to hold back the tears. “Are you hurt?”
Of course, he couldn’t answer me, but I swore he knew what I asked, because he gave a little twirl in the cage to let me know all his limbs were working. His tail was pinned between his legs, a surefire sign he was terrified.
I glanced around, trying to determine where the heck we were. There were no lights—only a few flickering lanterns hanging off the stone walls. I got the impression we were underground, maybe in a basement. I blinked into the darkness, because I could see another cage a few feet away with a solid shape slumped inside.
Then everything came back to me at once. Meeting with the council members to get passage home, only for them to inject Cravus and tell me they were erasing his memories…
“Cravus!” I called out, but my voice was hoarse and broke on the second syllable. I could have killed for some water. I swallowed and tried again. “Cravus!” The shape didn’t move, but I could tell it was him. I gripped the bars and shook them as hard as I could until my shoulders ached. “Cravus!” I screamed.
Still, he didn’t move, and I couldn’t stop the tears now. But they were more than tears, this was a flood. A river of salty liquid running down my cheeks to drip off my chin. We’d been so close. He thought we were safe. I thought we were safe. And then this… why would they erase his memories and not mine? I had to have hope that whatever they used didn’t work. That it would only knock him out for a bit.
A door opened, and a bit of light spilled into the room before a dark figure shuffled inside. I swiped at my face as the creature stepped into the light of a lantern. Jukren watched me carefully, his disked head tilted. “Hello, human.”
I wished for a weapon. “You said he wouldn’t die.”
“And he’s not dead. He’s just sleeping. His body has a lot of work today to wipe out his memories.”
“How dare you, you evil bastard,” I hissed.
He hummed. “My implant isn’t translating those words for me. I assume they’re not nice.”
“Fuck you,” I spat.
“You might be in debt to him for saving your life, but there’s no need to be this hostile. You will be taken care of. We already got what we wanted out of you.”
I went still. “What?”
He settled his hands on his protruding stomach and thumped his skin with his fingers. “We have been working on a memory eraser for a very long time. You and all those creatures in the transport were our test subjects. Your anatomy was closest to the Kaluma, and it was effective on you.”
“I was just… I don’t get it. Why do you want to erase memories?”
“We want the Kaluma warriors working for us. None of this home transport business. We’ll leave some home to procreate but many of the warriors, like this one,” he pointed to Cravus’s form, “are unmated yet useful.”
“You fuckers.” The curses were just coming to me, like they’d been dormant until I became so angry I could barely see. Even now, the edges of my vision were tinged red, and my heart pounded so loudly, it could probably be heard on Earth, wherever that was. “I thought the Council was upstanding.”
“It was, but we have had… a little mutiny.” His mouths twitched happily. “Sympathizers for the exploited of the Rinian galaxy, like you human, are no longer in power. The Council will now see greater profits and power.”
“On the backs of warriors like Cravus?”
“Not everything is fair, human.”
“I hate you,” I whispered.
“I’m sure you do,” he said. “And you’ll probably hate your next owner too, but that’s not my problem.”
With one final look at Cravus, he walked out the door. I tore off my boot and made to throw it at him through the bars but thought better of it. I needed my footwear.
Slumping down into the corner of my cell, I curled my knees up to my chest and dropped my head. Alone, I cried. I still had hope he’d remember me, but if they injected him with whatever they’d used on me… I knew better than anyone how well it worked.
There was nothing in my cell. No food. No water. No place to relieve myself. Just a stone floor. Skags had been quiet, and I crawled to the front of the cage to get a better look at him. His head was bent, and his little jaws were moving, and that was when I realized he was gnawing on the lock of his cage. He wasn’t bolted like me but instead his small door was shut with some sort of tie. I gasped when a snapping sound echoed in the small room and his door swung open.
“Skags!” I whisper shouted, afraid someone was listening. With a squawk of excitement, he leapt down and scurried between the bars of my cage. As soon as my fingers touched his fur, I let out a sob and curled him into my arms. He wriggled happily while I soaked his back with my tears. “We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?” I whispered to him. What plans did they have for him? I stroked his fur and rubbed his ears.
My mind drifted to the future I’d seen in my dreams—sleeping in Cravus’s bed, making friends with the other female human at the settlement, and just… being happy. Cravus had said my dreams could tell the future, but it didn’t look like that was going to be my future.
I stared at his slumped form, wishing he’d wake up and say my name, smile at me, call me his kotche. “Cravus,” I called out.
He didn’t move.
I cried for a while, cuddling Skags to my chest, until he grew tired of my whining and squirmed to get down. He scurried out of my cage and made his way over to Cravus. I could just barely make out his little body crawling over Cravus, nipping at his pants, and making his excited squeaks.
When Cravus didn’t wake up, a dejected Skags returned to my cell where he curled up next to me with a long sigh.
I checked the bolt of my cell, but there was no way for me to break it or budge it. I studied every inch of the room I could see, but nothing stuck out to me as a way for me to escape. I was starting to panic again when the door opened and Jukren walked in, this time with two other Ubilques and more of those furred armored guards with the yellow eyes.
“Wake him up,” he barked. The armored guards had lengthened sticks and used them to poke through the bars and prod Cravus.
For a moment, he was nothing but dead weight, but then he let out a little groan, and I rushed to the bars of my cage. “Cravus!” I called out. I wondered why they hadn’t gagged me. I could talk to Cravus now, and I could remind him of who I was. Stupid Ubilques. “Cravus!” I called again.
His eyes opened, the fluorescent blue glowing in the dim light of the room. He blinked and shook his head quickly as if clearing it. His hand gripped his short hair, which had grown longer during our journey.
“Crav—”
“Hello,” Jukren spoke, interrupting me. He walked to the side of Cravus’s cell. “How are you feeling.”
“Cravus!” I called out.
“Who is yelling?” Cravus murmured in a deep, scratchy voice.
My heart stopped. “Cravus,” I called again, my voice cracking. “It’s me, Bloom.”
“Do you know what that is, Warrior?” Jukren pointed to me with a claw.
Cravus’s head turned to me. Our eyes met. The blue flickered.
“I’m Bloom,” I choked out, feeling like I was bleeding out from the inside. “I’m your kotche.”
Cravus blinked slowly before turning back to Jukren. He answered with one word. “No.”
And my entire world fell apart. “No!” I screamed, my muscles giving out until I collapsed to the floor on all fours. “No!”
“Let’s run some tests,” I heard Jukren say, but I was too focused on getting my heart to pump and my lungs to inflate when suddenly the air seemed too thick to breathe. Cravus, the one who brought me back from the dead, who showed me who I was… didn’t remember me.
I watched through blurry eyes as they picked him up off
the floor and marched him out of the room. He didn’t look back at me. Not once. He walked obediently with his head bent in a way I’d never seen him before. Subservient. Not a proud Kaluma warrior.
I choked out his name one more time before the door slammed shut, the sound like a laser shot. Surely, I was dying. The pain was indescribable. Skags was in a frenzy next to me, and while I thought I had cried all the tears I could before, that was nothing compared to the torrent I unleashed. All I could picture was his vacant blue eyes. My beautiful, strong, amazing Cravus…
“You promised!” I shouted into the empty room. “You said you’d always know me. You lied!”
But no one was there to respond to me. No one rushed back into the room to save me. It was just me and Skags, and those assholes taking Cravus somewhere doing who knew what…
I rubbed at my eyes, anger starting to take over my despair. No, this was not going to end here. Cravus had said that if I lost my memory again, then we’d start over. I couldn’t give up now. He might not know me anymore, but things had changed from when we first met.
Because now I knew myself again. I put my all into my family and relationships. I cared for others. I loved fiercely and most of all, I didn’t fucking give up. My skin tingled with renewed determination, and my blood flushed hot.
I reached for Skags and felt fur on my fingers but when I looked, Skags was sitting next to me. Alone. His fur matted down in the shape of my fingers, but my hand was… invisible?
I gasped shifting to my knees. I held my hands out in front of me, but I couldn’t see them. I was… “I blanked,” I whispered. “I’ve actually blanked.” It didn’t make sense, as I didn’t try it, but I couldn’t deny that I was in fact invisible.
“Skags,” I whispered, reaching for him. He was confused at first, but my touch was familiar. I tucked him against my body, and I crouched at the door of my cage. Now all I had to do was wait.
Ten
Cravus