“Sarge,” he says in a low voice.
“Jensen,” I reply in the same tone.
“I know it’s not my business…but I feel like I need to say my piece anyway.” I pop my neck from side to side and give him a look. Out of respect for the man I’ve been in combat with, I give him a nod.
“Amber, or Isabella, or whatever she calls herself, cares about you. I was in there, talking to Agent Evers, and he shared a good bit of information with me. The New Orleans trip was off the books completely for her. She went off the grid and almost got fired for it. They almost pulled her from her UC investigation. She chose to come with you because she cared about you and trusted your instincts. She almost lost her job and the investigation she had devoted herself to for the past few years.”
“I get that Jensen, but…”
He holds up a hand to stop my words. “I’m not done. I know lying to you was shitty. I get that. Trust in a relationship is so important, but you didn’t hear me; she trusted you. More than her job. I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t call you on your shit. It’s not fair to her, for you to not trust her just as much. Trust that what you had was real, you know her. You might not know the little things about her life, but you know her. Trust that she was as torn up about this as you are.
“I don’t know her very well, but I saw her fall apart in the hallway after you walked away, and that was not a girl who was using you as part of her cover. A lot of things, she did wrong, but I can’t say you or I wouldn’t do the same in her position. Put all of your own baggage to the side and think about it logically.”
I’m shocked into silence because Jensen is usually silent, easygoing, and gets along with everyone. For him to call me out like this, he must really want to see Amber and I work our shit out. After I’m silent for a few minutes, Jensen sighs and opens the car door. I watch his back retreating into the precinct and the anger I’m feeling eases slightly, but I’m not ready to let go of it completely.
I jump out of my vehicle and slam the door a little harder than necessary with my left hand. I stalk into the precinct with multiple eyes on me. The scene I caused earlier seems to have caused a little bit of a stir. That, or the whole of St. Louis PD is a bunch of gossiping old biddies. I hear whispers and grit my teeth against the uncomfortable sensations that come with being the center of attention. As I enter Narcotics, Titus falls into step with me. The look on my face has rookie detectives scattering and Titus lets out a chuckle. He puts an arm around my shoulders and steers me towards the meeting.
The doors to the conference room slam open as I shove through them and all heads turn our way. My mouth tightens as I see Amber standing close to Jensen and her partner, Daniel. In the far corner, I see the bulldog bartender from Dark Angels and my eyebrows lift before I remember she was Amber’s original “in.” She was betrayed nearly as much as I was. To my shock, she heads to Amber and hugs her, and my eyebrows furrow. Titus lets out a low whistle and all heads turn to us again, while Briar smirks. Jensen is staring at her like he found God.
Ignoring the looks Amber is shooting me, I heave myself into one of the chairs facing the front of the room while Titus takes the place next to me. Captain Marshall and Deputy Director Nader choose that moment to enter the room. Amber walks to the front with Briar on her heels, and Jensen strides over to take the seat on the other side of me. Danny sits down on his right and just like that, the meeting commences.
“Gentlemen, if you aren’t aware, this is Briar Thames. She is my connection to Club Exile, and in the interest of honesty, she’s also a part owner. Along with Nikolai Borakov and Nathaniel Crane, they are all co-owners. As of right now, Nathaniel Crane needs to be considered a suspect for his connection to Nastassia Bennett. As Miss Bennett was overdosing, she told me her Master had given her the heroin. Ms. Thames does not believe it possible, but I wanted to put it all on the table.” She takes turns looking at every one of us while Briar’s lips press down in a thin line.
“Getting back to the task at hand, Briar has consented to a number of things. As of right now, all of us are undercover. Not in the way I am, because you Narcotics detectives are known around here, with the exception of Mr. Michaels, but this is just going to look like all of you are kinky bastards. We will spend the next several days going to Club Exile as members. We, unfortunately, have to be paired up as Dom/Sub couples, so it will go me and Sergeant Stone.” A muscle jumps in my jaw and her gaze falls heavy on my face, but she continues while still staring at me. “Next couple is Ms. Thames and Mr. Michaels. Which leaves…”
“Oh, hell no,” Danny and Titus speak at the same time.
“Agent Evers and Detective Masterson. You two can pick which one gets to be the top,” she says with a wink, and if looks could kill, she would be dead from two different sets of glares. I stifle a laugh and have to remember I’m angry at her.
“Why can’t I be with Merida over there?” Titus asks, gesturing to Briar, and Jensen stiffens next to me. Briar grins wolfishly at my partner.
“Because, Detective, I would chew you up and spit you out. Besides, I chose Golden Boy over there, and what I want, I get.” She shoots Jensen a wink and my old combat buddy clears his throat. There’s a little color high in his cheeks. I just shake my head at the two of them.
“Amber, we’ve been partners forever. Why am I not paired with you?” Danny’s voice rings out and I grit my teeth to keep from snapping at him. Even though I’m angry and feeling betrayed, I somehow still consider Amber mine. Her gaze locks on me, melting a little more of my anger.
“Because, Moose, Delilah would cut off my fingers and your penis if I let you go to a sex club paired with any female, even me. You know that. And I don’t fuck with Del,” she tells him complacently. He seems to ponder her words for a moment before he sits back and nods.
“Touché. Proceed.”
Titus twists around to gape at him. “Dude, you can’t seriously be okay with this.”
Danny shrugs at my partner’s words. “You don’t know my wife. That’s not an empty threat for her.”
Titus’s mouth drops open and he opens and closes it like a gaping fish. Laughter starts deep in my belly and I tamp it down.
“Fine, but I get to be the top,” my partner grumbles. I smirk and Amber smiles.
“When we go in, we need to observe, participate, if necessary, to keep attention off of you, but only if absolutely necessary. We’re searching for the dealer at the club. He will lead us to the supplier. I’m sure of it,” Amber continues after the outburst. Every head nods.
“We’ll go in tomorrow night. So, I suggest everyone gets some sleep tonight because tomorrow, every one of us is letting their freak flag fly. Here, I have a packet of all the information I’ve compiled on the dealers and the overdoses. Read up, study, and maybe you’ll see something I’ve missed. We’ll meet here tomorrow at nine p.m. Dismissed.”
As everyone gets up to leave, they all take the packets of information Amber has placed on the table near the door. As the room empties, I reach for a packet and a slim hand grabs my wrist. I look up into Amber’s serious face.
“Stoney…please just talk to me.” Her words hit my heart and I stand stock-still, simply feeling her hand on my wrist.
“I can’t…not tonight. Tonight, I need to be mad at you. What you did was shitty. I’ve calmed down enough to recognize I’d probably do the same thing in your situation, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still angry that you couldn’t trust me with something this big. I’ll be the one on your team tomorrow. But tonight, I need to not be near you.”
She swallows hard at my words and releases my wrist. “All right. I get it. This isn’t over though.”
“I think it was over before it ever really began,” I tell her sadly.
“Bullshit. I didn’t take a knife to my best lady bits for you to tell me it never was. Put your big boy pants on and talk to me when you’re not as mad. We won’t stop being an us just because you’re mad. Most couples fight
. Ours just includes drug cartels, getting knifed, getting shot, and an undercover operation. We are going to be couple goals one day, whether you like it or not. I get it though; you just need to be mad for a while. Go do dude things. Hit something, shoot a gun, and drink a beer. Breathe.”
With those words, she flounces out of the room and I can only blink, dazed.
Chapter Thirty-One: Amber
The night was long and sleepless for me. I kept tossing and turning, then waking up clutching my phone, waiting for Stoney to call me and tell me all is forgiven. I don’t know how he went as long as he did without me talking to him. If this is how he felt…well, then I’m an asshole. The hotel bed, while soft, is not my bed at home. It’s hard for me to get comfortable, and since the amount of sleep I get is in direct correlation to how crazy I am the next day, I feel terrible for everyone who comes into contact with me.
My mind keeps racing and the only solution to my sleepless night is the exact solution that Stoney used to get me to talk to him. A little light stalking. I’m up and out of bed, putting clothes on. I hit my knee on the end table and swear silently. Finally, as I pull the first shirt I grab over my head, I make my way silently into the foyer of the suite we’re staying in, only to stop short when I see Danny holding a coffee cup out to me. My brows lift as he looks me up and down and starts laughing. I glance down and almost facepalm myself.
Neon purple yoga pants, a bright red shirt that has “Nymphomaniac” written across it in black, with mismatched sneakers greets me. The only defense is that it was dark, and I was in a hurry.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going at four a.m. dressed like that, Bella?” His words come out choked with laughter as I look down at myself a second time. My eyes shoot up as I hear a click, to discover he’s taken a photo on his phone, the dick.
“Oh…I’m just going for a little light stalking, no big deal,” I say airily as I wave my hand around. My eyes narrow after a moment. “Why are you awake already? And why do you have coffee for me?”
“Well, I know you. I knew you’d probably be up around three or four, so I set my alarm, but in all actuality, you’re about as silent as a fart in the middle of standardized testing at school. Where the hell did you get that shirt?” He’s still laughing, and I almost hit him but snatch the coffee instead. I take a sip and spit it back out.
“I thought you said you know me. This coffee tastes like tar. And, for your information, Zaydra gave me this shirt. As a joke, but it was still a sweet gesture.”
“I said I know you, as in your mannerisms, not how you like your coffee. That’s relationship shit. Tell Zaydra to buy Delilah one of those, and me one if they have men sizes. We’re going to take family photos in them.” He pauses. “Wait…light stalking? Who are you stalking now? Please tell me it’s not Stone. He probably needs time, Bella.”
The indignation is written all over my face as I gently place the cup of sludge on the counter and make my way to the door. “It’s definitely not Stoney. It’s…Brian Rock. He’s my new main squeeze. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
“Okay, smartass. Brian Rock…Ryan Stone. You’re funny.” I feel him shake his head at me and freeze at his words. “You know you shouldn’t be going anywhere; you have a hit out on you. If you’re going, I’m going too.” I forgot about the hit out on me, freaking mooseknuckles. I step back inside and slam the door like a petulant child.
“You’ll see him tonight, Bella. Give him the space he needs to digest all this new information.” His words make too much sense to my sleep-deprived brain.
“You know what would help him digest it faster? My boobs,” I snark. Danny rolls his eyes as I plop down on the couch. Danny sits across from me on the dildo throne. I mean, the loveseat.
“Michael is making you watch me, isn’t he?” I grouse, throwing my head back against the cushion.
“Michael isn’t making me do anything, it was my idea. I knew you’d get antsy with Stone not talking to you. I knew you’d make a run for him. You can’t do that without backup. There is a serious hit out on you. I don’t think they know where you are, but I can guarantee they’ll be watching him to get to you. Where is my logical best friend?”
I stare at the ceiling, mulling over his hard truths. “I left her in Virginia, with the morals I had against taking my clothes off for money to further a case. You have to abandon a lot of things undercover, Moose, you know that. Logic was the first to go, but I hear you, no more running off half-cocked by myself. I don’t have a death wish.”
The couch next to me dips and I turn my head to see him holding the liquid sludge out to me. With a grimace, I take it.
“Bella, I respect the hell out of you for this case, you know that, right? Most people couldn’t do what you’ve done, but you need to put yourself first. Your safety is important. I appreciate the sentiment of you not going off half-cocked, but until we make it to the club tonight, I’m gonna be stuck to you like glue.”
My eyes roll so hard, they might just get stuck that way. “Tell Delilah that you’re a buzzkill. Divorce is still an option.”
“She knows I’m a buzzkill, and she loves me anyway. Thank you very much.”
It’s going to be a very long day.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Ryan
The day drags by with just my thoughts to keep me company. My body has stayed sprawled on the couch where I passed out the night before. I’ve talked myself out of and back into the relationship with Amber. My thoughts are finally dragged away from her as Jensen calls me to tell me he’s on his way up. I look around at the disheveled state of my apartment and mentally shrug. He knows I’m going through shit right now. I could have very easily passed out on the floor, but I didn’t, so it’s progress. My demons have come out to play in full force.
Thankfully, Collin gave Jensen a master key, so I don’t have to move off the couch. He stops short at the visual of my apartment, which has borne most of my anger over the last day. He just shakes his head and steps carefully over glass, a lamp, and pizza boxes. He looks around at the whiskey bottles and empty beer bottles with disgust.
“Man, if this is what love does to you, I’m never falling in love.” He takes a seat on the only chair facing me.
“Fuck off. It’s been a bad couple of days. I was shot, if you can recall,” I grumble.
“Yeah, man, I know. But you’ve been shot before, and stabbed, and practically blown up, and you never reacted like this. Your demons are riding you hard.” His clear blue eyes pin me. I swallow hard and nod slightly.
“I’ve always had flashbacks. Getting shot seems to have made them worse and, adding in Amber’s betrayal, I’ve lost my shit a little bit. Sue me.” My words leave me with a growl.
“Jesus, Collin was right. You really are like a bear with a sore paw right now. Ryan, you’re not the only one to get flashbacks, trust me. You’re just too fucking stubborn to get help for them. You’re going through a rough situation, and I get that. I’m going to let you be angry. What I’m not going to let you do is destroy yourself on your quest to be angry and right. Talk to the girl, Stone. She deserves to be heard because she always heard you. Be angry, feel sorry for yourself, but listen to her. Especially before we head to the club tonight. We don’t have any clue what kind of situations we’ll find ourselves in tonight. Got me?” Forceful Jensen shocks the shit out of me again.
“Yeah, I got you. Remember, I’m still your sergeant though,” I grumble at him as he rises from the couch.
“Sure, Sarge. By the way, shower. You smell like the bathroom of a dive bar.”
I flip him off and he chuckles, heading for the elevator. My head feels clearer than it did the last few hours. I heard the truth in his words, and I know I need to hear Amber out, even if it means my pride takes a hit.
My phone is situated somewhere under the couch, so I wouldn’t text her. I hit my knees to search it out. After practically lifting the couch up with one arm—since I basically only have one good one right now—I find my
phone. I see no new messages and my heart sinks a little bit. I shake off the melancholy and decide to text her first.
Hey. I decided to hear what you have to say. You can explain it to me some more, if you have time before we head to the club.
I curse lightly because as I’m rereading it, I realize I sound like an asshole. I almost fumble the phone out of my hand as it buzzes.
All right, Detective Dickface, I was in the neighborhood anyway. No, I was not stalking you, if you’ll let me up in five. I’ll make sure to leave Danny outside. Also, don’t be a dick. I like it better when it’s in your pants and not in your personality.
It makes me laugh that she calls me on my shit, every time. After a few minutes, I hear the intercom buzz twice to inform me of someone on their way up. I panic and start rage cleaning, letting her sit on the elevator for longer than I should have. When I finally open the door, Amber gives me a slightly pissed off look before she wrinkles her nose at the same time as I let out a guffaw at her outfit.
“You need a shower,” she says, at the same time I ask, “Is this how you dressed before too?”
I look at her sheepishly as I indicate for her to come in. I don’t know how she can dress so ridiculously and still be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
“I dress how I am as a person. Freely.” She sniffs indignantly and my cock hardens in my sweats.
“Okay, Miss America. I’m going to go shower now. Please have a seat, I’ll be out shortly.” I run to the bathroom to escape her disarming presence. I remove my sling and climb into my behemoth shower. The hot water hits me and I let out a heavy sigh. Her presence always causes me to be a little bit crazier than I normally would. It completely throws me off my game, it always has.
Wannabe: An Against The Odds Novel Page 16