by Michael Todd
“Amen to that,” Gunnar said as he stepped cautiously from the tiny trail into to the larger one they’d followed the day before that had led them to the field of zomberries. “But for the record, I still think this is crazy.”
“Look, I’m thankful you saved my life, I really am. But with all due respect, there’s only one part of this mission that will make any difference at all, and that’s Dr. Kessler.” There was strength in Cort’s voice—not steel exactly, but definitely a firmness Ava hadn’t heard before. “He holds answers that can turn the tide against the Zoo. Without him, we might not be able to contain the jungle beyond the second wall. If we lose Kessler because we’re saving a bunch of people who understood their life might be worth more as a sacrifice, we might doom all of Africa, Europe, and eventually, the whole world. I don’t want to think what this place will do if it makes it to the ocean.”
Gunnar shook his head, “Nothing makes Kessler more important than these others except a potential knowledge. As far as we know, he won’t remember shit after binging on berries. The only lunatic I’d risk their lives to save is Manny.”
Cort stopped abruptly. “But…but it’s our orders!”
“You know, pencil-pusher, you almost had me. It damn near brought a tear to my eye, thinking about them kangaroos back home being eaten by constrictadiles and all, but orders? That’s what you have? Orders? Screw your orders. Grabbing Kessler could merely be political, and I don’t give a shit about someone’s leg up in life. We grab as many people as we can and get ʼem all to safety.”
“But—”
“It’s time to shut up,” Gunnar said and peered furtively around a bend in the path.
Peppy dropped to a crouch beside him and peered past his shoulder. “It looks like our meat shields moved camp.”
“A good thing is that there’s no sign of the alicon—”
“Let it go, Gunnar. Let it go,” Manny said.
“I still don’t know why you all get to decide this stuff, but whatever,” the soldier grumbled, but he gestured to an area off the path. They followed him into cover and studied the clearing in which the drugged humans sprawled, most apparently unconscious.
“Are we all clear on the plan?” Ava asked as she removed her pack, placed it on the ground, and gestured to Manny for a sip of water. She’d filled her own pack’s water pouch with as much green slime as they’d been able to make.
“No offense, Ava, but it’s not exactly as complicated as the time me and a team of eleven monkeys lifted a pound of diamonds out of a jewelry shop in Gibraltar.”
“Wait, what?” Gunnar turned to Manny and grinned.
“Monkeys Make Out with the Rocks of Gibraltar. No way you could’ve missed that headline,” the pilot said. “It was international news. I was interviewed on the BBC. They never suspected a thing.”
“Can we focus? If I’m ever stuck in the Zoo, I’d like it to be because I ran out of bullets and was ripped limb from limb, not because you two buffoons made a bunch of crap up and got us all captured by a bunch of brainless zombies.”
“Seriously? I’d rather be one of them than get eaten.” Manny gestured to the people in the clearing. Some were sleeping while others shoved berries into their face or tranced out like Abbott had. Two were awake and on their feet—a man and a woman—and seemed to be engaged in the ancient craft of beating the crap out of each other. “And they were monkeys, not baboons.”
The man punched the woman in the head hard enough to knock her down. She tried to push herself back up, but he kicked her in the face, and she stopped moving.
“No way. There’s a finality to death.” Peppy retrieved the rope made of twisted vines from her backpack. “There’s an elegance to it, if you will. No one writes an obituary or goes to a funeral because someone lost their mind.”
“Does anyone see Dr. Kessler?” Cort asked and studied the downed soldiers through the branches.
Ava crouched and squinted through the plant growth that shielded her. “No, but that’s irrelevant. If this guy leaves or goes down, it’ll be the perfect time to start the plan.”
“You mean grab them one by one, tie them to trees, and make them puke?” Gunnar didn’t sound too sure of the plan, but he took rope out from his pack as well. They’d start with the army issue and switch to the vines they had gathered from the Zoo when the real ones ran out. Everyone had agreed that it would be a disaster if they ran out of rope halfway through. Hopefully, they had made enough.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look.” Manny pointed at the man who’d won the fight. He walked a little farther and kicked one or two of the stupefied people on the ground. When he elicited no reaction from them, he sat clumsily. “Looks like it’s about time to move.”
“Last chance to find Kessler and get out of here. There’s no telling when the rest of them will wake up.” Cort looked around desperately but with the people lying down or slumped as they were, it was impossible to tell them apart.
“You’re a tenacious little pencil-pusher, aren’t you?” Manny asked around his grin.
The drugged man flopped down onto his side. The clearing was still and silent except for the intermittent sluggish movements of the mindless soldiers.
“All right, are we ready?” Gunnar scanned the treetops. “There’s no sign of our big bad snaky friend. I count eleven people out there. Let’s hope that’s all of them.”
“Here goes nothing,” Manny muttered and snuck out into the clearing. He grabbed a fistful of berries, smashed them between his fingers, and rubbed them on his face before he approached a soldier whose back was turned toward him. He crouched beside him.
“Evening, mate. Do you know where I can get some more of these delicious zomberries?”
The man turned to look at the pilot, who promptly punched him in the face. None of the other soldiers seemed to notice that anything was out of the ordinary. Manny dragged the soldier quickly out of the clearing.
“One down. Tie him up. I’ll go in for another! This is fun!”
“No way. My turn.” Gunnar stepped forward, smeared his hands and face with berry juice, and shambled over to a woman who stuffed her face mindlessly with more of the zomberries.
“Brains…brains!” he said and stumbled toward the woman. She looked up and turned her head to the side like a dog, confused by the attempt at humor. “Uh…wait, let me start again. I meant berries…berries!”
The soldier snarled but he was ready. She rushed him and he held the butt of his rifle to meet her onslaught and she struck it so hard, her legs flew out from under her like a cartoon character. He dragged her back to be tied up. “I like this plan.”
“My turn,” Peppy said. The three had agreed to work in rotation so everyone would stay fresh and to prevent fatigue, but now, they simply seemed like they were messing around.
Peppy, once she’d disguised herself with berry juice, approached a man who lay on his back and stared at the canopy of the Zoo. His jaw worked repeatedly like he was chewing something, and Ava didn’t want to think about what it might be.
The other woman crouched next to him. “Do you ever think about the inevitability of death? How even if you live to a hundred and have a hundred grandkids, our entire planet will simply be swallowed up by the sun when it dies? And even if we do manage to become a space-faring species, we’ll eventually perish when the universe itself suffers from its eventual and unavoidable heat death?”
“Wha?” the man grunted. Ava felt certain, despite that he was currently a berry-addled zombie, there was a hint of existential doubt in his grunt.
Peppy stuffed a gag in his mouth, looped a rope around his neck, and dragged him back to the edge of the clearing.
“That’s it for the close ones. Now, we get creative,” Manny said.
Ava couldn’t believe it. They were enjoying this way too much.
“Gunnar, Gunnar. Two are shuffling this way. Do the dash and snatch.” Manny was already unspooling rope
“On the two of them? No fuckin
g way.”
“If we do this, I’ll give you back that pack of smokes.”
Gunnar darted from cover and raced past the two shuffling soldiers. They snarled at him and gave chase. As soon as they were distracted, Manny went in pursuit and threw the loop of rope around the legs of the one in the front. He crashed to the ground, the pilot yanked the rope tight, and the other man tripped over it.
“That counts two for me!” Manny said and dragged the lassoed man back while Gunnar lugged the other.
“What? No way. I was the bait. One of them is mine.”
“Do you want that pack of smokes?”
Gunnar grumbled under his breath but stuck his hand out. Manny slapped the pack into his palm and turned into the clearing.
“There are only three cigarettes in here, you dingo-loving son of a bitch And…you dipped them all in mud.”
“Dogpile!” Manny yelled—way too loudly—and crashed into a group of three of the zombified humans.
Gunnar cursed and ran out after him and Peppy followed in seconds. Between the three of them, they were able to restrain the soldiers.
Two others shuffled toward the edge of the clearing and approached Ava, Cort, and the bound soldiers. Ava could swear there was one more, but right now, that didn’t exactly seem a priority.
One of them snarled at her, a woman with a shaved head.
“I like your makeup,” she said, and the woman lunged at her. Ava stepped to the side, raised a branch, and smacked the woman on the back. As the soldier fell, Ava dropped on top of her and pinned her down. “I’m sorry, that was a lie. That makeup is a little too much.”
Cort didn’t have nearly as much luck. The soldier pushed through the underbrush and the lieutenant backed away. He stumbled over branches, which slowed him down, and finally, he tripped and the soldier landed on top of him. Ava couldn’t help as she still struggled to restrain her zombie.
“Get off of me!” Cort yelled.
“I thought you said we should leave them,” Manny said as he sauntered through the clearing. “Not a priority and all that. Orders are orders and whatnot.”
“I was wrong. Please, Manny. Please! Not like this.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you can ask more nicely? With a cherry on top?”
Gunnar kicked the man off Cort. Peppy dropped to subdue him and the two privates bound his hands, stood him up, and tied him to a tree.
“Not cool, dude,” Gunnar said. “And this one counts for me.”
“What?” Manny shrugged. “I only tried to teach him the error of his ways.”
“You gloated while the pencil-pusher could’ve died,” Peppy said. She, too, sounded pissed.
“Uh, guys, can we come back to Manny’s douchebaggery in a minute? We have one left.” Ava said from where she still struggled with her opponent. She nodded in the direction of the clearing.
“Douchebaggery? Now come on. He wasn’t in any danger. That dude didn’t have any berries and it’s not like they’re biters.”
“That’s him, isn’t it?” She stood as Manny secured the soldier she’d wrestled and tied her to a tree.
“That’s him,” Peppy said. “Kessler.”
“I forgive you, Manny,” Gunnar said. “If anybody’s a douchebag. It’s that guy.”
Kessler stared at them from across the clearing. His fists were clenched, his scowl stained with berry juice, and his expression cruel.
“That’s the guy who kicked that woman!” Cort said, his voice still shaky.
“Yep,” Gunnar said.
“We should’ve gone for him first,” Cort protested. “Now, he might get away.”
“Somehow, mate, I don’t think that’ll be an issue.”
Kessler screamed and ran toward them.
Peppy and Gunnar split up immediately. One moved right and the other left, while Manny planted his feet, lowered his center of gravity, and grinned. His posture reminded Ava of the incredible hulk. So that made Kessler…Wolverine?
The scientist hurled himself at Manny with enough force to send him stumbling. He tried to punch his attacker, but Kessler was too quick and remained inside Manny’s reach. The fistful of berries darted continually toward the pilot’s mouth.
“I thought you said this bloke never did anything for himself,” Manny said as he blocked another of Kessler’s berry-fueled punches.
“Maybe he had a midlife crisis.” Gunnar stepped from the jungle behind the scientist. He slid an arm around the man’s neck before Kessler threw an elbow into his gut and rammed him aside. “And started working out,” the private finished breathlessly.
Kessler ignored Gunnar and lunged at Manny again. This time, he got close enough to punch him in the face and left a smear of berry juice across one of his opponent’s eyes.
“Damnit, I can’t see. This is like when I fought that damn spitting cobra.”
“Bullshit.” Peppy dropped lower and swept the scientist’s legs out from under him.
He landed with a solid thud but managed to twist as he did so and knocked her prone beside him.
In an instant, he brought a hand forward and berry juice dripped from his fingers as he swung it at her face.
Manny caught his arm before he could bring it any closer.
“Yep, exactly like that spitting cobra,” the pilot said as Kessler tried to writhe out of his grasp.
As soon as she was free of his weight, Peppy struck viciously and kneed him in the crotch. He winced—barely a reaction at all considering the very real smush of knee on flesh—but it was enough to distract him. Gunnar tackled him from behind and hurled him completely off Peppy, who scrambled to her feet only to pile on top of her teammate.
Ava flung herself on Peppy’s back.
Their combined weight was enough to finally slow the deranged man. It took them all to stop Kessler and the truth of that made Ava realize how lucky they were that Manny had been able to stop three of the soldiers at once. They must’ve been in a different part of the zomberry cycle or something, she decided.
“I’m impressed.” The pilot crushed one of Kessler’s hands under his boot until the man released his fist of berries. “But teamwork makes dreamwork, mate, and from what I hear, you never learned the finer points of cooperation.”
The scientist howled and Manny used the opportunity to shove a rag in his mouth.
They endured another rough couple of minutes as they hauled the prisoner to his feet. Ava was shocked at the man’s strength. All the soldiers seemed to have a higher pain tolerance and be stronger than they had been when not lost to the madness of the zomberries. Kessler, especially, seemed to be able to pull on a well of hidden energy that far surpassed what she would suspect from a bony scientist. They finally manhandled him against a tree and tied him securely.
Cort watched the entire thing, speechless. The man had been way harder to subdue than the others. “Maybe you guys were right. We could never h ave taken him with the others still loose,” he said, still awestruck at the reality that four of them had wrestled this literal mad scientist.
“See? The pencil-pusher learned,” Manny said. “Now, let’s get to work. We have a lot of puking to get through.”
Chapter Sixteen
Being tied up to a tree didn’t exactly have a calming effect on the zombified soldiers.
“They’re like a Greek chorus,” Manny muttered. He stood barely inches away from one of them, a man with a mustache stained by the dark, blood-red of the berries.
Ava gave her “medicine” a quick stir. She wanted to be sure it was all evenly mixed. They’d been fortunate to be able to gather all the ingredients without attack by one of the dozens of Zoo creatures in the process. She wanted to ensure that all the soldiers were given a similar dose, as it wasn’t likely they’d manage to make more. The Zoo wasn’t patient with intruders. “A Greek chorus? I didn’t expect that sort of reference from you, Manny.”
“A bunch of freaks wearing less clothes than they should, moaning like they all want to jump sh
ip and fool around with each other, and about to eat a delicious soup they’ll all puke up? Sounds Greek to me.”
“Romans were the ones with the vomitoriums,” Peppy interjected. “But honestly, I’m impressed.” She held her weapon at the ready and kept a watchful eye on the vegetation around the grove of bound soldiers. “I love the Greeks. They weren’t afraid of a good tragedy—like surviving a bunch of monsters only to be murdered by the humans you tried to save. Or tying all these people up and making them vomit, only to be attacked and devoured by something else. Yeah, you’re right. The Greeks would’ve loved the Zoo.”
“Is everyone ready? This might get loud,” Ava warned.
“We should start with Dr. Kessler.” Lieutenant Cort scanned the jungle constantly as well. Ava could tell that he didn’t have the experience the others did, though. While their eyes seemed to peer through the gloom of the understory, the lieutenant’s eyes darted across the shadows and searched for the outlines of the monsters that might kill them. It was a rookie mistake. Those who had more experience knew it was better to look for movement rather than for hidden monsters.
“Fair enough.” Ava dipped a bowl into the rubber bladder of green slime.
“Manny, open his mouth.”
“You got it, mate.” He swaggered up to the scientist and yanked the gag out of his mouth. “Are you interested in hearing about our appetizers, Doc? Today, we have a lovely stew made with nasty-ass leaves, some stems that make your fingers numb, and roots filled with gross mucousy stuff. We call it The Cleanse. Our master chef guarantees it will leave you feeling like a different person.”
Kessler strained against the ropes and snapped his teeth. The pilot pushed his head against the tree, grabbed his chin with his other hand, and forced his mouth open.
Ava poured her concoction down his throat. The man gagged and coughed up some of the brew, but most of it went down his throat.