by V. Vaughn
As my running heats up my muscles, I notice how the desk is set up so one can look out the window. The view is of the forest that lines the Le Roux property, which is disappointing, because I'd have liked to watch the goings on at the Le Roux home. I notice two guys standing on the edge of the lawn talking, and one of them glances up at me. I stop moving and give him a cocky grin as I wave. Maybe I'll flash them later for something to do, and the thought makes me laugh softly to myself before I drop to do some pushups.
Sweat is damp on my forehead now, and I think about what might happen to me. Mating with Max isn't going to be as easy as I thought. From what I know, werebear don't do the polygamy thing, and I assume that Audrey's outburst this morning means Max has to figure out which one of us he wants. My gut tells me that he should choose her, considering she's the one with family money and prestige. And that means my life may depend on him choosing me, because I can't imagine Audrey would let me hang around if he chooses her.
Hell, my life might be in danger now. Even though Audrey didn't kill me this morning, who's to say she won't find a way? And if she doesn't, I wonder what typically happens to the true mate who’s left out. Do they get another? Do they spend their life stuck in love with a mate they can't have? And if they’re a human who knows about werebear…
My door lock clicks open, interrupting my morbid train of thought, and I lift up to a sitting position when Reese walks in. I hop to my feet when I see he brought a platter with thick, roast beef sandwiches, chips, apples and a stack of cookies. "Wow. You know how to do lunch. That's a lot of food."
"I'm hungry too."
I smile before I realize what I'm doing, and I tell myself I’m happy he’s eating with me because now I can pump him for information.
"Were you working out?" he asks as he sets our food on the desk.
"Kind of. I had a little pent-up energy to get rid of.”
He nods and sits in the chair. That leaves me the option of sitting on my bed to eat, but I want to make Reese a little uncomfortable. I think he's into me, and I'm going to use that to my advantage. I hike up a hip to sit on the desk and grab half of a sandwich. "What did you do to get the babysitting job?"
"I found you," he says with a smirk before he takes a large bite of his sandwich.
I chew on my mouthful and swallow. "Hardly seems fair." I scan his body with my gaze. "Or do you all think I'm that dangerous? Because a warrior half your size ought to do."
He swallows his mouthful and asks, "How long have you known you were half werebear?"
I see how this is going to go. I have to give a little to get something. "A while. Do you guys get two true mates often?"
"It's rare. Know what clan you're from?" Reese flashes his fangs at me as he takes a massive bite of his sandwich. I’m not sure if it’s instinctual as a warrior protecting his clan or if he’s trying to scare me.
"Nope." I grab a chip and crunch on it before I speak with food in my mouth. "What happens to the mate who loses out?"
"Depends. Why do you want to be a werebear? We are animals, after all."
"Why wouldn't I?" I frown because I still want to know what will happen if Max chooses Audrey. "What are my chances it can happen? Say if Max decides on Audrey."
Reese blinks a few times, and I think I surprised him with what I figured out.
I sigh. "Audrey wouldn't have been so pissed off if she knew he was hers."
Reese nods before grabbing another sandwich. "It's still possible."
"Like a snowball’s chance in hell?" Damn it, he's frustrating. I reach over and touch his arm. "How possible?" He looks down at my hand and then up to my eyes as if he's trying to figure something out. Or as if he's waiting for me to say something. His silence makes me notice his mouth, and I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. He grabs my fingers to remove my hand, and a weird zing runs up my arm. I yank my hand away. "What?"
Reese grabs an apple and leans back in the chair as he inspects it. "Can't say."
I grab a cookie and jump off the desk in annoyance. "You won't say. This has been fun, but I could use a nap now."
Reese lets out a low growl, and a musky odor that’s not unpleasant fills the room. Is that him? He says, "And I could use a run." He grabs the tray and grips it so tight the metal creaks as it bends. And I wonder how it is that Reese’s frustration over having to deal with me can be so damn sexy.
Three
Madison
"Ugh." When I step into my dorm room, I'm greeted by the foul odor of Josie's sweaty laundry. I swear it's getting worse. I set down the bakery box I’m carrying and go over to my closet to grab my air neutralizing spray, and the can hisses as I walk around spraying it. I've been so busy planning the start of my new life with Trent for the past few days that I've only been back to my room to grab more clothes, and Josie hasn't been here a single time.
I texted her a couple times to find out how she is, but I haven't gotten a reply to the one I sent yesterday asking if she'd like to hang out. I had hoped to spend one more night as a human with her, having a few cocktails, talking about how nervous I am, and filling her in on the process so far. I really want to tell her about my meeting with Marion Robichaux yesterday, too. The alpha was an experience. I figured Josie would want to know all about it since she plans to become a werebear one day.
But now I'm afraid my roomie is pissed off at me, which is why I brought her a cinnamon roll from the cutest little cafe Trent's mom told me about. I do understand Josie probably feels like I ditched her, and in a way I have. I've been so involved in things with Trent and assimilating into a clan that I've barely had time for my classes, and I'm dangerously behind on my homework. I've neglected everything except my relationship with Trent.
I put the bakery box on Josie's desk and grab a note pad to leave her a message, and I smile when I dot the I in my name with a smiley face, knowing it will make her roll her eyes. I miss my cranky roomie, and I hope that once I'm a werebear I can find a way to stay close to her.
I glance around my dorm room and let out a sigh. It feels like a lifetime ago when I arrived wondering what my new life in Maine was going to be like. But it's only been weeks, and I had no idea what was in store for me. I came to school obsessed with the idea of finding my father, and I still want to, but I think I was really destined to find Trent.
Looking back at my childhood, and especially my high school years, I realize that the feeling I didn't quite fit in was warranted. While I was popular with girls, I wasn't the cute little skinny thing most guys liked. And when I did have boyfriends, I was self-conscious about being big. But Trent makes me feel as if I'm the sexiest woman he's ever known. And I'm about to belong to a clan where my size is actually normal.
But most of all, a sense of contentment has settled over me. It's as if I've finally found the home I never realized I was looking for. I walk over to my dresser to find my loosest, most comfortable clothing. It's going to take me a day or two to recover from my transformation, and everything is going to be sore. I'll be glad I don't have to struggle with buttons or zippers.
I'm nervous about changing. Trent and I are meeting with Lucy Robichaux, who is some kind of expert for changing human women into werebear. Trent's mom Livy told me that Lucy first witnessed it back when she was in college and her human roommate discovered her true mate. And that girl, Tori, became the alpha to a clan! I'll admit for a moment I considered something like that could happen to me, but then I realized I wouldn't want it to. I think having the ability to change into a big bear is going to be all the power I can handle.
Now whenever a human wants to become a werebear in the Robichaux clan, Lucy is the one who facilitates it. Not that it happens often, but I’m glad to know someone who has seen multiple humans change is going to oversee my transformation. Trent and I are meeting with her later today to discuss how things will happen, but I have a general idea based on what he knows.
I grab two pair of sweatpants to toss in my bag. Apparently I'm going to be
handcuffed and have my ankles cuffed to a bed. Once he bites me, I’ll feel intense pain and begin to change. I guess the process is so agonizing that I would hurt myself trying to dig at whatever is causing the pain if not restrained. I shudder as I try not to imagine it. When it's done, I'll be a werebear who can heal from the process in a day or two.
Trent swears nobody's ever died from changing. Part of me wants to ask Lucy, but because it's not going to change my decision, I probably won't. I know in my heart I'd never be able to back away from life with Trent.
I glance around the room one more time and my eyes land on the source of the stench that's already seeping through the air freshener. I'm tempted to leave a note for Josie to do her laundry too, but I don't. It's not like I plan to spend another night here once I'm a werebear. Trent said it would be too dangerous until we know for certain I have control over my shift. I smile to myself as the zipper of my duffle grinds shut. I wouldn't want to sleep anywhere but his bed anyway. Nothing feels better than his arms around me at night.
He also said my senses are going to feel like they're on steroids. I'm going to be able to hear, see, smell, and taste everything better. I guess it's going to be a good thing, but it might be a curse too. I grimace and rethink that note to Josie about doing her laundry. I walk over to her closet and grab her laundry detergent to put on the pile of clothes in her basket. As a strong hint.
I hear two girls giggling as they pass by my closed door, and I wonder what it must be like to hear things people don't think you can. That might be another one of those new abilities I won't always appreciate.
A photo on my bureau catches my eye, and I walk over to it. It's of my mother and me at the beach one summer. The frame is cool in my fingers as I pick it up, and my heart aches as I think about her. We're wearing ridiculous floppy hats we'd gotten at a tourist trap and smiling with sun-kissed faces and bright eyes.
My mother was my best friend since I can remember. I think it’s one of those things that happens when you’re all each other has got, and there are times I still can't believe she's gone. I really wish she were here to talk to about what I'm going through. I chuckle, because I think the moment Mom heard what I was doing, she would've been in her car and on her way up to hold my hand through the change. Well, once I convinced her becoming a werebear was what I was destined to do.
I get why she didn’t tell me what my father was. Since Trent told me she wouldn’t have been welcomed into the clan, there was no reason for her to think I would be either. Her secrecy was for the best. But the thing is, if she’d learned what I know about being a half, I bet she would have understood. She would have wanted me to be this happy.
My throat thickens, and I clutch the photo to my chest. I miss you, Mom. I open my bag up to put the picture in it, and I wish my mother could be here for my wedding and to see her grandchildren. My grief is still so fresh at times, and it nearly overwhelms me. I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly as I blink back my tears, and I wonder if there will ever come a time when missing her doesn't hurt this much. When she died, I'd never felt so alone. And since my stepfather wasn't in my life, in a way I really was.
I sniff and hoist my bag up over my shoulder. I picture the smile Trent gives me when his heart is full of love. Love for me that's so strong we'll be able to get through anything. And it occurs to me that I'll never be alone again. Now I’ve got Livy, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite people, and the rest of Trent’s family, as well as an entire clan whom Trent assures me will be happy to pull me into their tight community.
It’s a little strange to think about so many people willing to accept me without knowing who I am. But I guess that happens when you’re living with a secret as monumental as being a shape-shifter in a world that doesn’t believe they exist and would totally freak out in cruel ways if they did.
I step outside my room, and the lock clicks when I twist my key. As I walk toward the elevator, I imagine what the general population would do if they discovered the underground world of werebear. Our history shows humans don’t accept things they don’t understand very well. Our fear takes over. It’s kind of ridiculous too. Like a dog that’s been chained up, our knee jerk reaction is to bare our teeth and do harm to protect ourselves. So, something as huge as a person who can become a bear? Well, even my optimism doesn’t let me believe people would find a way to accept it. Heck, there’s already a group who wants to kill off werebear. The very thing I’m about to be.
The door of the elevator whooshes shut, trapping me in the small space, and my stomach flips. I’m still queasy when I step out and walk through the lobby. I stop for a moment and glance around at a world I never realized was so much more than I could see, and I’m filled with a mix of excitement and sadness. But I’m no longer fearful. I’m headed toward becoming the werebear woman I was meant to be.
Four
Max
Audrey’s footsteps thud in time with mine as we walk as bear along a path in the woods. I was right that my recently broken legs don’t cause me as much pain in my animal form as they do in my human one. I’m considering a light jog soon if it keeps up.
I’m tempted to break into a sprint to get out of here. With Audrey. It would be so easy to just grab her, hop in her car and drive back to the West Coast. We’d go to my town in British Columbia about one hundred miles north of Washington state. To the Lévesque clan, where I’m next in line to be alpha. We’d have all those kids I want and live with the power and prestige being an alpha commands. Eventually, we’d be the two-alpha power couple running my clan.
She’d learn to love the Pacific Northwest and the way our forests are little bit greener and the mountains bigger than here. I wouldn’t steal her away completely, though. One of our children will be in line to become a Robichaux alpha and he, or she, would need to become part of that clan. Especially since making Audrey my prima would mean I’d be taking her away from them, and she’d have to remove herself from taking over her clan to live thousands of miles away in mine.
Of course, this dream is based on her agreeing to it. I chuckle to myself, because from what I’ve seen, Audrey won’t leave her kingdom easily to join mine. When— if—we get to that point, I suspect it’s going to be a difficult decision for her to make. I’m getting ahead of myself with my wishful thinking anyway. My reality right now is figuring out which one of my true mates I belong with, because if I screw this up, it could be the end of all werebear.
We’re closer to the river now, and the rush of water fills my ears. A slight tremor of panic runs through me as I recall nearly drowning. But I’m not weak enough to let it matter, and I decide to jog. The impact of my weight landing with force sends shock waves through my back legs, but it’s not painful. It takes a lot more than broken bones to stop an alpha. Although being trapped underwater nearly did. Awe fills me when I think about how Audrey managed to lift up a body of water and a waterfall to save me. Pride comes too, because my mate is one powerful witch. It makes me want to believe she’s the right one.
Audrey is jogging beside me and letting me set the pace. It’s so easy to be with her; how can she not be the one? The prophecy does say to use my mind to pick the right mate. But while everything is pointing toward Audrey, my logic says I also need to spend quality time with Josie if I want to make a wise decision.
We’re close to the river now, and Audrey takes the lead to head us away from the cliff we launched off of two days ago. My ears begin to ring with the rush of falls as if we’re right on top of them, and the water turns dark and murky with evil waiting for me. I gasp for air as the river rises up and reaches for me. Icy fingers clutch at my throat as I struggle to breathe. No!
I raise my arms swiftly to break the hold, but the vision lifts as suddenly as it descended on me. And I know it wasn’t really a prediction of the future. It was fear. Fear I won’t allow to cripple me. The ground is soft under my feet as I follow Audrey into the water.
I’m up to my belly in the river now,
and I blow out a breath before I dive in to swim. The weightlessness of my limbs makes any lingering pain disappear, and I roll over on my back to float and bask in the sun. But I’m not enjoying it. I can’t because I’m the one thing that could save or destroy my race, and I have a weighty decision to make.
I consider what little I know about Josie. She’s a human who is ballsy enough to slam me up against a wall and kiss me. And damn, what a kiss it was. From what I overheard this morning, she’s got the nerve to ask to become a Le Roux too. She’s definitely a strong enough personality to deal with an alpha mate, and I’m as physically attracted to her as I am to Audrey. Her bear is dormant right now, and from what I’ve heard, that means she hasn’t been able to tap very far into her animal side. The side that is primal and fierce. I chuckle to myself as I try to imagine Josie being fiercer than what I saw in our brief interaction outside the diner bathroom. I bet she’ll be a powerhouse.
Audrey moves to float next to me, and I imagine she’s struggling to be patient and let me sort things out. One more reason I should stop procrastinating about getting to know Josie. But being here with Audrey fills my heart with our love, and I want to hang on to what feels good, natural, and the way it should be for a little bit longer.
I can’t seem to trick myself into enjoying the moment, so I roll over with the intention of swimming back to shore and doing what has to be done. I glance over at Audrey, and she tilts her head away from shore before she swims that way. I easily justify following her by the fact that I’m a guest in her territory, and I discover she’s taking me to a fishing spot when I notice salmon in the water. She swipes her paw through the current and stabs one as I stand. Audrey catches me off guard when she tosses a salmon my way.