by Jessica Ames
“When did it start?”
“The night of your wedding.” I don’t plan on telling him we slept together. I’m not sure my brother is calm enough to hear it.
He scrubs a hand over his jaw.
“This, you and him, it complicates things, Kenzie. And when I say complicates, I mean it absolutely screws things six ways from Sunday. He’s from a different club.”
“Which I’m more than aware of.”
He glares at me. “It puts you in a difficult position if we ever go up against the Devils.”
“And how likely is that?”
“Six months ago I would have laughed if you’d said we would be going up against the Reapers.”
Fair point, but I’m not willing to let this go.
“The Devil’s Dogs are different. You know that.”
“All I know is I brought my sister here to be protected and now I find out she’s shacking up with their VP.”
“I’m not shacking up with anyone,” I sign. Maybe this isn’t the best time to tell Logan I’ve been claimed…
I don’t get a choice in the matter, though, because Dane’s gravelly voice cuts through our conversation.
“She’s mine,” he declares without a hint of fear.
My stomach clenches in response, my entire body going on high alert as I slide my gaze in the direction of my brother.
Logan looks shell-shocked for a moment, before he seems to pull himself out of it enough to grind out, “Yours? She’s not fucking yours.”
“Yeah, brother, she is. I claimed her—”
He barely gets the words out before Logan has him pushed against the wall, his arm against his throat.
“You fucking prick! You were supposed to be protecting her, not claiming her.”
I tug at my brother’s arm, mouthing the words ‘stop it’, but my silent pleas have no impact on the two men who are focused on each other.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Logan, but I won’t apologise for the way I feel about her.”
“You’re a decade older than her.”
“Wasn’t your dad fifteen years older than your mum?”
It was fourteen years, but who’s counting? His words shut Logan down completely. He can’t argue with it, because Dane is right—even if he doesn’t like that he is. Dad was older than Mum and their marriage, until he was killed, was a good one. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch. I still remember they argued when we were little, but I don’t remember any big blow ups. Everyone who mentions my parents describes them as the perfect couple, and I can believe that. Mum still hasn’t remarried, even though it’s been years since Dad died. Part of me wishes she would. I hate her being on her own, especially through things like this, but like Derek, she shows no sign of wanting or being ready to move on.
“That’s not the fucking point, Dane, and you know it’s not.”
“No, then what is? I love her, man, and I’m not going to let you take her from me.”
I jolt.
He loves me?
He loves me?
While I wish he’d chosen a better time to say the words, my heart soars. Dane loves me. How or why, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just know his words make me elated.
I grab his arm and tug it to get his attention, then I mouth at him, “You love me?”
He all but elbows Logan out of the way, so he can stand in front of me and cup my face in his big hands.
“I didn’t mean for you to hear it that way, but I do love you, and I don’t care about the fact you’re a Saxon and I’m a Devil. We’ll get around that. I’d never make you choose between me and your family.”
“You say that now,” Logan interjects, “but what if there’s no choice but to choose? What then?”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“What if it does?” he presses. “You divide loyalties when you divide clubs.”
“The Devils are bending over backwards to help you and the Saxons. We’re doing that because we’re friends and have been since before I joined my club. I don’t see that changing any time soon.”
“Besides,” I sign, “me being with Dane strengthens that alliance.”
Logan doesn’t look certain, but he doesn’t move to counter-argue it either. Mainly because he can’t. I’m right. This relationship does come with issues, but mostly it strengthens bonds between the two clubs, cementing us forever together. Dane and the Devils would always be more hesitant to move against the Saxons—not that they would—in any scenario. It gives both clubs a greater sense of security and ensures business and personal dealings between them remain strong.
The more the thought takes hold, the more I realise how beneficial this could be for my family, for my brothers and for the Saxons. I understand why they’d be worried, but this is a club we’ve been allies of since before I was born. Why would that suddenly change?
Logan’s gaze pins me as he says, “You’d have to leave Kingsley—your friends, your family behind. Are you prepared to do that?”
I would have to leave. Dane’s club is in Manchester and he wouldn’t give that up. I wouldn’t want him to. I knew what I was getting into when we started this thing up, and I knew it would mean I’d have to move.
“I’ll move.”
“Well, we haven’t discussed that yet,” Dane interjects. “I don’t want you moving if you’re not sure about it.”
“I’m sure,” I sign and nudge my brother to translate.
He does, grudgingly.
“He can’t even talk to you properly.”
“I’m learning. We talk via the phone app. It’s not perfect, but it gets the job done. I know a lot about your sister and what I know, I like. Man, I wouldn’t have claimed her if I wasn’t serious about where this is going.”
This seems to loosen some of the tension around Logan’s shoulders.
“Yeah, I know that, pal.”
Some of my own tension dissipates at the use of the word ‘pal’.
“I know it’s a lot to get your head around, but I promise I’ll do right by your sister and I’ll take care of her.”
He stares at Dane then shakes his head. “I can’t even think about this right now. I have shit back home and a wife who’s pregnant, miles from me.” He points at me. “Don’t do anything else drastic before we have a proper chance to talk about this.”
Logan gives me a glance before striding back into the common room, to Beth, no doubt.
I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. That was not the ringing endorsement I was expecting to get from my brother.
I don’t feel upset, which is what I expect, but I feel angry. I’m tired of my life revolving around what my family deems necessary. For once, I’m making my own decisions and I’m doing what makes me happy.
Maybe drama like this is why you thought it would be better to avoid overbearing bikers… a small voice in the back of my mind reminds me.
I silence it. I didn’t want a biker. I didn’t want to be caught up in this world, but I didn’t expect to fall for Dane when I thought it. I didn’t expect the depth of feeling I have for the man.
“You okay?” he asks.
I lift my eyes to him and mouth, “You love me?”
A smile flitters across his face. “Yeah, baby, I love you. I’ve loved you since that first night, I just didn’t realise that’s why I was so pissed you snuck out. I wanted to continue in the morning and you denied me that chance.”
“Sorry,” I mouth.
He cups my face. “Water under the bridge now, love.”
“I love you too,” I mouth.
He dips his head and then he kisses me until I’m breathless.
Chapter Eighteen
Logan doesn’t stay long, just overnight and then heads back with Dean. Both Liv and Beth are a disaster when they go, but they’re holding it together, not wanting to upset the other women who haven’t had a chance to see their guys.
“Do you think he’s okay?” Piper asks for the seventh ti
me. She’s taking the news about Jem being hurt hard and has been twitchy all morning. From the bags under her eyes, she didn’t get much sleep last night either.
“Logan said he was,” Sofia tells her, her voice soft. “If Lo said he was then he is.”
We’ve all gathered in the common room this morning, taking over the corner of the room that has unofficially become ours. All the girls are here, while Mum decided to spend her morning with Sammy’s gran, Jeanne, in her room, taking care of the little ones.
Charlie is, I notice, sitting at the bar with King, his attention sliding in our direction every so often.
“Jem will be fine,” I sign, offering a smile of reassurance. I’m not sure if Piper can understand me yet, though I know she’s having BSL lessons with Liv, Paige, Cami and Chloe. She must do, because she gives me a thin smile. I’m also not sure if I believe my words. My brothers have been known to lie to us in the past to stop us fretting over things.
“I can’t stop worrying about him.”
Paige reaches over Chloe to grab Piper’s hand. “He’ll be fine, honey. Try not to worry.” She nibbles at her bottom lip, which gives away how concerned she herself is.
Piper fiddles absently with the handle of her coffee mug, an almost haunted look in her brown eyes.
“I know it’s dangerous,” she says, “but I wish we were there with them. I hate being so far away.”
A murmur of ascent goes around the table. I agree with it too. I hate not knowing if everyone is okay.
Silence descends for a moment, while everyone stays locked in their own thoughts, their own fears. The air feels charged, thick with an unnatural tension that seems to leech any happiness out of the air.
“In other news,” Sofia says, breaking through the stalemate and silence, “I heard a rumour that my dear older sister has been claimed by Dane Lock.”
My mouth goes dry at her words and irritation flares through me that she wants to do this with an audience. Then again, I’m surprised it’s been kept secret this long. Probably, my only saving grace was the fact it was Liv and Beth who found out and neither of them are massive gossips. If Jamie and Sammy had found out first, everyone would have known in a matter of minutes.
“You’re with Dane?” Jamie demands.
“When did this happen?” Sammy questions.
Voices assault me and I can barely hear what everyone is asking of me. I put a hand up and everyone silences.
“One at a time,” I sign and Sofia translates. I glance at my sister. “Yes, I’ve been claimed by Dane.”
Sammy gasps at my revelation. “What the fuck, woman?”
“How do you get claimed by a hot guy and fail to mention it to anyone?” Jamie huffs.
How about because it’s no one’s business…
I don’t sign this, even though I think it.
“Things happened so fast,” I sign, and this is not a lie. Things between us have moved at warp speed, faster than any relationship I’ve ever been in before. “There wasn’t time to sit and update everyone.”
“How long have you two been an item?” Cami asks.
Inwardly, I cringe. This is not a question I want to answer, but it’s better to just get things out in the open.
“Since November—at Beth’s wedding.” I stick with the story Dane has perpetuated. It’s true anyway.
Gasps of surprise go around the table. It feels good to finally offload this all onto someone, even if it is a group of someones. All eyes are pinned to me as I sign. It’s a weird feeling, being the centre of attention. I wouldn’t say I’m usually on the sidelines, but I’m not ever the source of gossip. I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with it.
“You sneaky bitch,” Sammy says around a grin. “I would never have guessed you and Mr Hot Stuff were hooking up.”
“How did you keep that a secret for so long with this nosey bunch?” Piper lifts her coffee mug and takes a small sip.
“I didn’t really intend to keep it a secret. It just happened that way.”
Sofia translates my signing again.
Also because we didn’t get serious until we met again at the Saxons’ clubhouse. Since then, things have moved at light speed, but I’ve never felt like things were moving too fast. Everything felt right between us, and still does. He’s my guy and that’s not going to change. Nothing can change that. Not even Lola and her words to me about him having slept around a lot. None of these men are choirboys. I know this first hand, but I won’t hold him to account for his past. As long as he’s faithful in his present, with me.
“What’s he like in bed?” Cami asks, and Piper gasps.
“You can’t ask her that!”
“Why not? Everyone wants to know, right?”
There’s a murmur of agreement. I roll my eyes and sign, “I’m not telling you that.”
Some things are sacred and should remain so—how perfect sex is with your significant other among them.
“You’re no fun,” Cami complains. “How can I live vicariously through you ladies if no one talks about the perfection of their Adonises?”
“Get your own,” Piper mutters.
“It’s not for the want of trying.” She laughs. “You girls snagged all the best brothers.”
“There’s still Adam, Charlie and the prospects,” Sammy says, her eyes shifting in the direction of the bar.
Charlie and King are still sitting, chatting. Both men are easy on the eyes, although too young for me. I like my men older and wiser—experienced. And Dane certainly is that.
Cami sighs dramatically, swirling her straw through her drink and Piper rolls her eyes. “You could have the pick of any guy you want, and you know it.”
She’s not wrong, Cami is gorgeous.
“If that’s the case, why haven’t I?”
“Because you expect people to mind read your feelings for them, instead of being forthcoming.”
Cami eyes her. “Okay, let’s get back to interrogating Mackenzie. That’s far more fun.”
I let out a huff of breath. “I don’t need to be interrogated. All you need to know is I’m Dane’s and he’s mine, and we’re both happy with the situation.”
A collective ‘aww’ goes around the table.
“I, for one,” Paige says, “think it’s amazing news. Congratulations, Mackenzie.”
“You might be the only one,” I sign. “My brother is beyond pissed at me for even going there.”
Beth sighs. “Logan will come around. I think you just shocked the shit out of him. He doesn’t see you and Sofia as adults. You’ll always be the little girls with pigtails to him.”
“I never wore pigtails,” Sofia complains.
Beth rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. He can’t see beyond the little girl thing to really see you as a grown up. He’ll come around with time, and if he doesn’t, I’ll withhold sex until he does.”
Laughter goes around the table, although I wrinkle my nose at the thought of my brother and Beth getting down and dirty together. I do not need that scarring image, thank you.
“I really love him,” I sign and the table falls silent. “And I know our relationship is not without problems, but I do love him and I hope it can work out between us.”
“Aww, God, I’m getting misty eyed,” Jamie says, wiping her eyes on the edge of her sleeve.
Foz tears into the room, bringing all our attention to the double doors that lead into the common room. He looks worried as hell as he spews out, “The Reapers are here.”
My heart stops.
Chapter Nineteen
We’re hustled into a room at the back of the clubhouse that has a sofa in it and not a lot else. I dread to think what the space is used for. Knowing these men… well, I don’t want to think about it.
Lucas, one of the Saxons’ prospects, is with us and hustles us back from the door, ordering us to be quiet.
Liv crowds close to the others, holding the baby against her chest tightly and trying to shush him as he begins to fu
ss. I notice Sofia grasps Jamie’s hand, while Chloe hugs Jesse against her side.
I glance over at my mum, who is sitting on the sofa with Jeanne, her grandkids held against her. Mum’s face is an unreadable mask that only adds to my apprehension.
In fact, the tension in the air is so thick, so cloying, I can barely breathe. Fear dogs my heels, making my stomach churn violently.
“What are they doing here?” Sammy murmurs.
“Who knows,” Liv responds, running her hand over the back of the baby’s head. “We just have to wait it out and let the Devils handle it.”
Thoughts of Dane being out there, in the firing line, have my gut roiling even more savagely. I can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt, but I realise we’re more of a hindrance than a help. Staying put is probably the safest option.
“Maybe we should sing,” Jamie suggests.
Everyone looks at her.
“Why in the hell would we sing?” Beth demands.
“Because that’s what they do in the movies, you know, when they’re facing down an impossible threat,” she hisses through clenched teeth. What movies she’s been watching, I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like any I’ve seen.
“If you start singing, I’ll throw you out there myself,” Lucas mutters.
That brings silence, which seems to span on for so long, I can barely stand the lack of noise.
There’s a knock on the door, and we all brace, sucking in a collective breath as the handle goes down. Lucas moves to the door, ushering us back. When it opens, we’re greeted with Lola, the club bunny who gave me grief about Dane.
I’m hoping she has news for us, some insight into what’s happening, but when she closes the door behind her and turns to us, my heart stops. I see the flash of metal before I fully register the fact she’s holding a gun.
Lucas is faster to react. He grabs her hand immediately and they tussle. My heart sits in my throat as a loud pop explodes though the room. Then there’s a moment of nothing before Lucas sags to his knees. Jamie and Sammy move forward to grab him before he hits the deck, but I’m transfixed by the blood stain growing over his tee.