The ball went nowhere. It skittered across the field but found no lift. I glanced down at the guy who wouldn’t be my holder during a game. That position was filled by the second-string quarterback, Cooper. The guy smirked at me until Coach Ari called me out.
“Farrow, what the hell is going on? I know it’s getting close to game time. But now is when it counts. I can’t have you out there if you’re going to flake on me.” Just slightly louder, he said, “Five, everyone. Get hydrated.”
I could have told him my suspicions, but how could I prove it? And what if I was the cause? Saying something could turn the team against me. August wouldn’t have my back anymore, would he?
For the second time that day, I was close to tears. I fled the field and grabbed a cup full of warm Gatorade and guzzled it down.
“Everything okay?”
I glanced up at Shephard who stood beside me at the water table.
“Besides the fact I can’t seem to kick a ball to save my life . . . nothing.”
His hand inched toward mine when I leaned on the table. His fingertips brushed lightly over them.
“Did Bryant say anything to you?” he asked in a stage whisper.
“No. He’s done nothing.”
I held back on my suspicions. Mostly because there were too many ears and also because I vaguely blamed the bad day I’d been having on myself.
He took my arm. “Come on. Let’s go kick a few balls while the coaches are talking.”
“Shepard,” I said, but it was a lost cause.
After scooping up a few balls, he had me on the thirty-yard line.
“Okay, show me what you got.”
His utter confidence was a boost to my failing one. I dropped back and counted off my steps, trusting Shepard to hold the ball exactly right. I kicked, and the ball soared, sailing through the uprights. Not exactly dead center, but better than anything I’d done all day.
“Again,” he said.
I kicked two more balls that got closer to perfection each time.
“That’s what I like to see,” Coach Ari shouted.
Shepard stood up. “Maybe she isn’t the problem.”
“Connelly,” Coach said, “Over here.”
He gave me one more look and then shot another one at my squad coach before jogging over to where our head coach held court.
Coach Ari called for someone to bring him some balls. Next thing I knew he was holding the ball for me as I kicked one ball after the next straight down the center.
When he was done, he stared at my temporary holder but said nothing. The guy looked sheepish, and that seemed to be more powerful than any reprimand. At least practice ended on a high note.
I was beat when it was time to head to the café for dinner. I’d picked up my phone to text Shep when I saw he’d already messaged me. He said not to wait for him. He’d talk to me at home. The idea of eating alone again wasn’t appealing. I texted Cooper I was walking home and grabbed a sandwich from a coffee shop on the way.
I called my mom who’d always been my champion outside of my brothers.
“Why so glum?” she asked.
“I don’t think the guys want me on the team.”
My dad had dismissed me for joining, but she’d been thrilled.
She laughed. “And when has that ever stopped you.”
“It’s just . . .” Everything. But how could I say that without sounding like I was whining.
“Shepard?” she asked. “We heard the news. They weren’t specific, but what’s going on? His mother is frantic.”
What to say? “It’s bogus. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That’s good to hear.”
I was grateful when she didn’t press for more details.
“He’s such a good kid.” Then, she was silent for a second. “Has he figured out you have a crush on him?”
I gaped for a second. “Mom.”
She laughed. “It’s not like I could blame you. If I were your age . . .”
“Please don’t,” I begged.
“You could do far worse.”
I took a chance. “Actually, he likes me too. But promise you won’t tell Dad.”
“Oh . . . but why?”
“Because I don’t want Dad to ban him from the house or give him the I own a gun lecture.”
Though my father didn’t pay much attention to me, he seemed to prize me as his daughter when boys had come around.
“Okay, but he’ll find out soon enough,” she said.
“Later is better. August is already freaking out.”
I explained the situation.
“You have to understand him.”
Before I protested, she pushed on.
“I’m not saying he was right to say those things, but he’s allowed to have feelings.”
“I get that. So how can I sit back and be the one that broke up a friendship?”
She was silent for a second. “I’d like to believe that your brother will calm down and think about it rationally.”
Were we talking about the same brother? Cooper was rational, August not so much.
“But you’re okay with it?” She’d said as much, but I needed the confirmation.
“Yes. I am.”
We talked a while longer until I arrived at the house. She pried for more details as to the nature of my relationship with Shepard. Of course, as much as I could talk to Mom, I didn’t tell her about losing my virginity. That just seemed too weird to discuss. Maybe Shepard would be there soon and we could . . . have some time alone. That thought brought a smile to my face. Unfortunately, my happiness was short lived.
28
shepard
Excitement had buzzed in my veins that morning for my first class. The idea that my dream might still come true was like an electric current making it hard for me to sit still.
Morning practice behind me, I hustled to the School of Music. In the hallway, searching the room numbers, a girl with pink hair and several tattoos on one arm walked over.
“Are you in the right place?” she asked.
I didn’t take offense knowing I didn’t fit her idea of a musician.
“Music Theory I?” I asked.
She’d nodded. “Do you play, write music, or what?”
“Play and write,” I said, more amused by her questions than annoyed.
“What do you play?”
“Guitar.”
“That’s it?” She said it like it was validation to whatever theory she had. When I silently agreed, she added, “You didn’t do band, orchestra, or choir in high school?”
I hadn’t and not because I was too good for it. More because I had a better chance at getting a scholarship through sports than music.
“No, I play football.”
Her head lifted in a I get it now gesture. “Figures. You look the part.” Her eyes swept over me. But then she surprised me by not completely writing me off. “Have you ever recorded anything?”
I woke up my phone, not so much to prove to her that I wasn’t a wanna be musician. But more so I was curious to get an unbiased opinion of my work. The only people who’d heard me play before would have been too kind to tell me I sucked. Well, maybe not August. I almost smiled until I remembered I’d probably lost his friendship for good. I swallowed, hating the thought, and pressed play to take my mind away from things I couldn’t change.
Her expression remained thoughtful as the sound of my voice combined with the strumming chords played softly between us.
When she hit the pause button, I thought for sure she was going to tell me to give up my dreams and to stick with being a jock or whatever snarky word she would use to judge me.
Instead she’d said, “Have you ever considered joining a band?”
The question had thrown me, and I stared at her for a long moment. She grinned.
“I’ll admit you’re good. You’ve got raw talent and a voice that would m
ake girls swoon or whatever you call it. Though your look needs work. I’m not recruiting for a boy band; though you could sell out stadiums with that face.”
All I heard was that she thought I was good. “Join your band?”
I wasn’t judging her for her looks, I was just shocked that after all her sly comments, she thought me worthy. I didn’t think she would think I could fit in with her.
She shrugged. “I like to shake things up, keep people guessing. And your voice would go well with mine. If you’re interested, we practice downstairs—” she rattled off a room number, “in the afternoons around three.”
I cursed, “I can’t.”
“Oh, I see. Too good for us.”
She rolled her eyes, the metal bar in her brow glinting from the overhead light.
“No,” I said quickly. “I have practice. Football, remember?”
“Yeah, I was kind of hoping your grammar had been a mistake when you said you play football as opposed to played.”
“Can you schedule something later?”
She shook her head. “Sorry, pretty boy. Some of us have to work. But think about it. We’ll be there if you ever change your mind.”
Then she walked off, and her pretty boy comment reminded me she’d never asked my name or given me hers.
Nor had she given me directions to my class. I eventually found it and had to laugh when the same girl stepped up to the podium in the lecture hall. Quickly, my mind raced over the possibility that she was my professor. She’d looked around my age. Then again, looks could be deceiving. I’d learned that hard lesson these past few weeks.
As she spoke, she revealed herself as the teacher’s assistant for the class. When her eyes found me in the crowd, she grinned, which bolstered my confidence more. She’d thought I was good enough. It was enough to make me believe that following my dreams was the right choice.
After two classes, I left for home, not ready for the crowds at the café. I used some of my meager funds to grab something at the coffee shop before making the fifteen-minute walk across campus to our townhouse.
My phone buzzed in my hand after I’d gotten inside. I stared, unsure what to do.
“Are you going to answer that?”
I glanced up to see Finn who’d silently rolled into the room.
“It’s my mom,” I admitted.
Since my name showed up in the news, she’d called several times. I’d replied via text not wanting to explain what happened. She didn’t deserve the attention I was getting after everything my father had put her through.
“You haven’t told her yet?” Finn asked, guessing correctly.
“She knows, just not specifics.” I closed my eyes before staring out the back window like I could escape my past simply by walking out the door. “I just—I can’t tell her. It’s better if she doesn’t know.”
Finn studied me a second. “Because of your father.”
My head snapped in his direction. “You know?”
His brow arched at my stupidity. Of course, he knew. I’m sure his family did their research before letting us move in.
“His case is on appeal,” he said.
I scoffed and then muttered, “Circumstantial evidence.”
Dad had only been tied to the one living victim, and by default he’d been convicted of the bodies found buried on the same land where she’d been found.
“He claims not to have killed anyone.”
The fact that Finn didn’t seem to judge me or my dad should have comforted me. Instead, it brought ugly memories into my head.
I could have spit fire when I spoke next. “Yeah, he said a lot of things.”
Though he’d never once admitted to anything.
“Have you ever asked him if he’d done it?” Finn asked.
“No. We haven’t spoken since the day they arrested him.”
And I had no intentions to. His crimes had ruined my life. Once Mom and I’d been forced out of our house and had to move in with my grandmother where drugs were sold and bought by the truckload, it had been open season on me. I was the rich boy that had fallen on hard times. But worst, some of my father’s victims had been high school girls, branding me the son of a child molester. And just for that, I had a target on my back. Fights and beatings had become a way of life. Some I won, more I lost. Somehow, I’d survived, but I feared I’d never be free from my father’s actions. They still cast suspicion on me like I’d been his partner in crime. I hated him.
The doorbell rang before Finn could say more. The door opened before either of us could answer it. Cooper ushered in what amounted to the girl next door.
“Hey, Finn, are you ready?” she asked.
He grinned, and I watched as the pretty physical therapist followed him back to his room. She was here most mornings and nights. It was rare to see her in the afternoons.
Cooper and I traded glances.
“I envy him,” Cooper said once they’d disappeared behind Finn’s bedroom door.
I frowned. “Why? She has a boyfriend.”
A live in one that was set up in the townhouse next door and paid by Finn’s family to be on call in case Finn needed someone with brute strength for help.
Cooper shook his head. “My money’s on Finn.”
In most circumstances I would have agreed. Finn had that something that made him likable and easy to be around. But this girl seemed to be immune to his charms, only smiling politely at his subtle but world-class flirting.
Cooper obviously saw something else. He stared at Finn’s door with something like longing that reminded me of how I’d felt before Finley became mine.
“How’s Tori?” I asked.
He seemed to come out of whatever place he’d retreated to in his mind.
“She’s okay, I guess.”
“You guess?” I asked.
After all I’d gone through to get them together, I had high hopes Cooper would make a move.
His shoulders sagged. “Auggie’s the one that always knows what to say or do. Girls confuse me.”
Okay, Cooper was a little on the shy side, but he wasn’t clueless.
“You’re the same guy that went to the prom with the home-coming queen.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, and she talked about Auggie all night.”
That was news to me. Then again, Cooper rarely spoke about anything.
“Forget I mentioned her. Have you asked Tori out?”
He blew out a breath. “We’ve had lunch a few times, but I’m pretty sure she’s into you.”
Okay, I’d caught that the first time we’d met.
I sighed. “Even if she was,” and I wouldn’t admit that, “this is your play. You have the ball, run with it.”
“Football talk,” he mocked, frowning at me.
“Whatever works. Besides, you and August are practically twins. If he can get whatever girl he wants, so can you. You got to bring your A game off the field and make a move. Call Tori and ask her out.”
He looked a little lost, and I had sympathy for the guy. “Where would we go?”
“Take her to dinner or to a movie. Better yet, find out what she likes to do and do that.”
Cooper’s expression turned optimistic, and he nodded, taking off for his room. Hopefully, he was going to make plans, not spend hours on his PlayStation.
That afternoon, I ended up in my room tossing a football up in the air over and over, catching it while lying flat on my bed, thinking about how I’d thought my luck had turned around.
“You’re here.” I jerked my head towards my door which was cracked open. Finley stood in the gap. “How’d you beat me here? I didn’t see you leave.”
I sat up and shifted to the side. She stepped forward, and I widened my legs to give her space. She sat in my lap, and I curled my arms around the best and only thing I had left in my life.
“What happened?” Her eyes were filled with remorse. “Did you get in trouble because o
f me?”
“No.”
There was no easy way to say it because I couldn’t believe it myself.
“Tell me,” she pleaded.
“I’ve been banned from school and extra-curricular activities.”
“What!” She jumped to her feet.
I managed to snag her hand and pull her back to me.
“The Fosters take exception to my ability to walk around campus given how dangerous I am.”
The clawing words stung my throat.
“That’s bullshit,” my girl said like she was ready to fight.
Finley didn’t often curse, but I remained quiet, feeling the same way.
“How can she get away with this? Isn’t there something called innocent until proven guilty?” she questioned.
“To be honest, I can’t blame them.” Her brows shot up. “I didn’t do this, but if something happened to you, I would want the cops and the university on your side like they are on hers.”
“How can you say this?” she asked.
“I have to believe in the system.” I had to believe in something.
“But you didn’t do anything wrong. Keeping you out of school isn’t fair.”
“This isn’t a court. It’s a private university funded from people like the Fosters. Besides the rule is in the student handbook. At least I’m allowed to turn in assignments and follow the course outline of my classes off-campus until the investigation is final. I’m lucky I don’t live in the dorms because otherwise, I would have been forced to leave.”
“I can’t believe this. I hate her.”
My gorgeous girl hopped off my lap, fists balled with determination in her gaze.
“Stay away from her,” I warned, seeing calculation in her eyes.
She spun to face me. “Really, you and August use your fists a lot.”
“Yeah, and this girl will have you arrested if you so much as blow air in her face. Promise me you’ll stay away from her.”
“I don’t know,” she said, pacing my floor.
I caught hold of her again and drew her close. “Promise me. I couldn’t live with myself if you got in trouble over this.”
She allowed herself to be held in my arms, nestled between my legs where I still sat. I pressed my head against her chest and listened to the sound of her heart beating. It reminded me that life went on. No matter what happened, we would go on.
Songs For Cricket Page 17