They paced another few steps while Dierna considered. That he should be aware of the power the rite had raised was a good sign, but it meant she must be careful about what she said to him.
“I am no hedge-witch, but a priestess of the Great Goddess, and it would go against my own oaths to bind your will…. And yet I believe that you have been bound. By the gods themselves,” she went on, “before we ever met in the flesh.”
“When I saw you through the storm?” Carausius answered. Once more his face changed, not to laughter but to something deeper, almost dread. And once more Dierna felt that odd pang, sharper now, like a blade in her heart. In the ritual she had seen his face overlaid by that of another man, younger, with Roman features and hair. She knew that in that lifetime he had been a sacred king. But who had she herself been, in that other life so long ago?
“How could a living woman walk upon the waves?”
“My body lay in trance—it was my spirit-shape that you saw, enabled to journey by disciplines that are the Mysteries of Avalon.”
“Druid lore?” he asked suspiciously.
“Wisdom that the Druids preserved, taught to them by those who came before, from the Drowned Lands across the sea. What remains of that knowledge is preserved by my sacred sisterhood. There is still power in Avalon,” she added, “power that could be of great help to you in defending this land. With our help you could know immediately when the raiders strike, and sail to meet them when they turn for home.”
“And how will that help come?” His lips twisted ruefully. “My duties will take me up and down this coast and back and forth across the sea. You cannot spend all your time in spirit form, advising me!”
“It is true that in my own world I have duties that are as demanding as your own. But if one of my people were with you, she could help in some things and, when greater effort was needed, speak in the spirit with me. What I propose is an alliance, and to seal it I will give you one of my priestesses.”
Carausius shook his head. “The Army would not allow me to keep a woman in any official—”
“She will be your wife,” Dierna interrupted. “You are not married, I have been told.”
He blinked, and she saw his sun-reddened skin darken with quick color. “I am a serving officer…” he said, a little helplessly. “Whom did you have in mind for me?”
Inwardly Dierna sighed with relief. “You are no longer accustomed to being commanded,” she said, smiling at him, “and think me very autocratic, I know. But it is your welfare I am thinking of as well as the service of this land. Teleri is the maiden I would give you, the daughter of Eiddin Mynoc. Her birth is high enough so that it will be considered a worthy alliance, and she is beautiful.”
“The one who bore the torches in last night’s ritual?” he asked. “She is fair indeed, but I have scarcely spoken two words to her.”
Dierna shook her head. “I will not compel her into this alliance unwilling. When I have her consent I will speak to her father, and the world will think this has been arranged between you and him in the usual way.”
Teleri might regret leaving Avalon, thought the priestess, but she must surely appreciate the opportunity to become the consort of a man of such proven power. Dierna surveyed the Admiral’s broad shoulders and strong, clever hands with an involuntary quickening of the pulse, and for a moment wished she could have come to him at the Beltane fires.
But Teleri was younger, and more beautiful. She herself would do her duty in Avalon, and Carausius would be happy with Teleri in his arms.
The sky was beginning to cloud over. Teleri wiped her brow with her veil and took a deep breath of the muggy air. The motion of the horse litter that was carrying them along the rough track back to Venta Belgarum made her a little queasy, and the weather was not helping. It would only get worse, she knew, until the tension was released in rain.
At least on the way back she was riding with Dierna. She glanced at the older woman, who sat in balanced stillness, eyes closed as if she were meditating. When they left Portus Adurni, she had rejoiced, for they were on their way to Avalon. But the longer Dierna remained silent, the more tense Teleri grew.
Halfway to Clausentum, they detoured around a gang of soldiers who were leveling the roadbed and laying stones. From there on, the road was graveled and they traveled more smoothly. As if the change in motion had awakened her, the High Priestess stirred at last.
Teleri started to speak, but Dierna’s words came first.
“You have been with us for over two years in Avalon. Soon you will be eligible to take your vows. Have you been happy there?”
Teleri stared at her. “Happy?” she managed finally. “Avalon is my heart’s home. I was never happy anywhere, I think, until I came to you!” To be sure, she had sometimes chafed at the discipline, but it was far better than being caged in her father’s hall.
Dierna nodded, but there was a bleak look in her eyes.
“I have studied as hard as I could,” Teleri said then. “Are the priestesses not pleased with me?”
The other woman’s grim look softened. “They are. You have done very well.” There was a pause, then: “When we blessed the fortress, what did you see?”
For a moment Teleri gaped. Then she forced her mind back to the torchlit field and the stars.
“I think we raised power. My skin tingled….” She looked at the older woman uncertainly.
“And the Roman Commander, Carausius—what did you think of him?”
“He seems strong…competent…and I suppose kindly,” she said slowly. “I was surprised when you took his blood for the blessing.”
“So was he.” For a moment Dierna smiled. “Before Midsummer, when I went apart to seek visions, I saw him.” Teleri felt her eyes widening as the priestess told her the tale. “He is the Eagle who will save us, the Chosen Defender,” Dierna said finally. “I have offered him alliance with Avalon.”
Teleri frowned. Carausius had not seemed to her to be the stuff of heroes, and to her he seemed old. But Dierna was continuing.
“The Goddess has given us this opportunity, and this man, who though not of our blood, is an ancient soul. But he is barely awakened. He needs a companion to remind him, and to be his contact with Avalon….”
Teleri felt her former queasiness focus suddenly in her gut. Dierna reached over and took her hand. “It has happened before that a maiden trained in Avalon has been given to a king or a war-leader to bind him to the Mysteries. When I was a girl, Eilan, a princess of the Demetae who was called in the Roman tongue Helena, was given to Constantius Chlorus. But he was transferred out of Britannia. Now the need for such an alliance has come again.”
Teleri swallowed, and whispered, “Why are you saying this to me?”
“Because you are the fairest and most gifted of our maidens yet unsworn, and you are of high birth, which the Romans will honor. It is you who must go with Carausius as his bride.”
Teleri jerked away, the very thought of lying with a man bringing back memories of the Saxon’s hard hands holding her down. Then nausea overwhelmed her and she grabbed for the side of the litter, pushing the curtains aside. She heard Dierna calling to the slaves to halt the horses. Gradually her emptied belly calmed and the world came into focus once more.
“Get down,” came the calm voice of the priestess. “There is a stream here where you can wash and drink. You will feel better then.”
Teleri allowed the slaves to help her descend from the horse litter, flushing with embarrassment as she felt the curious gaze of the other priestesses, and from Allectus, who was leading their escort, concern.
“There, now you will be well,” said Dierna presently.
Teleri wiped her mouth and sat up. The water had revived her, and it was true that she felt better on solid ground. Indeed, she saw the gathering clouds, and the crimson of poppies growing in the grass, and the glitter of the stream with unusual clarity. A breath of wind stirred the damp hair on her brow.
“What you sai
d,” she whispered. “I cannot do it. I chose Avalon because I wanted to serve the Goddess. And you yourself know better than any why I cannot give myself to a man.” Dierna could not know what she asked, to make her go into such bondage. A wife was a slave, and she did not even know this man!
Dierna sighed. “When they chose me as high priestess, I tried to run away. I was pregnant with my first child, and I knew that if this fate came upon me I would never be her mother—not really—for my first care would always have to be the good of Avalon. All one night I lay out in the marshes, weeping, while the mists swirled around me. And after a time it came to me that there were others who could care for my children, but there was indeed at that time no other who could take up the burdens of the Lady of Avalon. I mourned for the simple happiness I would not be allowed to enjoy, but still more I feared the guilt, greater than what I felt at not being able to give all my love to my child, that would weight me if I denied this duty. I think death might be kinder than what I felt then.
“But just before the sun rose, when I had no more tears, a warmth surrounded me, like a mother’s arms. In that moment I knew that my child would have all the love she needed, because the Goddess would watch over her, and that I need not fear to fail those who depended on me, because She would work through me as well.
“That is why I can ask you to do this, Teleri, knowing how hard it will be. When we swear the vows of Avalon we promise to serve the Lady according to Her will, not our own. Do you not think I would rather have had you by my side always, growing in beauty like the young apple tree?” Dierna reached out once more, and this time Teleri did not shrink away. “The omens have been too clear to deny. Britannia needs this man, but he is too enmeshed in this life to remember the wisdom of his soul. You must be the Goddess to him, my dear, and awaken him!”
Dierna’s voice caught. Teleri looked at her and understood that the older woman did indeed care for her.
“The Lady is cruel, to use us so!” Teleri exclaimed. But in her heart she was crying out, Don’t you love me enough to keep me by you? Don’t you see how much I want to stay?
“She does what She must, for the good of all…” whispered the priestess, “and to serve Her we must do the same.”
Teleri reached out then, and touched the older woman’s bright hair, and Dierna gathered her into her arms.
After a time, Teleri felt moisture on her cheeks, and did not know if it was the Lady Herself, weeping in the skies, or her own tears.
Chapter Twelve
The grain had been gathered into shocks and the hay into mows. The peace of harvest lay across the land. The fields beyond the Vale of Avalon were checkered with gold. It was a good omen, Dierna told herself as the mists closed behind them. Marriages were usually performed in the spring or early summer, but surely it would be better for Carausius to take his bride when the beginning of winter put an end to the raiding season, and he would have time to know her before he must go away to fight once more. And if she herself felt weary, it was because for the past two moons she had been so furiously busy preparing Teleri for her wedding.
No doubt that was why Teleri herself looked so pale. As they climbed into the covered cart Eiddin Mynoc had sent to carry them to Durnovaria, Dierna gave the younger woman a reassuring pat. The girl had worked as hard as any, completing her training, and learning to look into the water and see visions there.
It was easiest, of course, in the sacred pool, but a silver basin would do as well, if the Seeress breathed enough of the sacred smoke and the water was blessed with the proper spell. The virtue was not in the water, but in the one who looked into it. She herself had learned the craft well enough so that at need she could have seen visions in a mud puddle, with only a few deep breaths and no herbs to help her at all. Sometimes it even happened that the Sight came upon her unbidden, and those visions, impelled by need, were the most important of all.
But Teleri still believed that holiness lay in the forms of things, and so amid the gear which was going with her was a casket which held an ancient silver basin, chased with labyrinthine spirals that drew the eye, and several jugs of water from the sacred pool.
Dierna watched Teleri as she stared through the gap in the leather curtains, gazing as if her gaze could pierce the mists that swathed the Tor. But all one could see was the Christian church and the scattering of huts that sheltered the monks who lived there. Farther up the hill, above the sacred well, were the houses of the holy sisterhood. Above them showed the rounded top of the Tor, bare since the time of the first High Priestess, when the monks had cast down the sacred stones. Sometimes it was hard, seeing it from the outside, to believe that those who had the power to pass through the mists would find instead the Great Hall of Avalon and the House of Maidens, the Processional Way, and the standing stones.
In her mind’s eye they were more real than the scene she could see. Many things had changed after the Lady Caillean had worked the magic to separate Avalon from the world. It was in Sianna’s time that they had begun to build in stone. By the time Sianna’s daughter ruled, the walls of the Great Hall were rising, as long as those of a Roman basilica, though it was roofed with thatch instead of tiles. It was Sianna’s granddaughter who had dedicated the first pillars of the Processional. Dierna’s own grandmother built the new House of Maidens.
And what will I build? Dierna wondered then. She shook her head, for the answer to that lay in this journey. Her foremothers had built in stone, but she, the first for many years to turn her attention to the outside world, was building an invisible edifice in the hearts of men. Or one man. But he, if her foundation was laid well, would make a wall of ships and men to keep out the Saxons that was more effective than any barrier of stone.
Dierna settled back against the padded backrest and let the curtains fall as the cart began to move. Teleri had already closed her eyes, but her hands were clasped too tightly for sleep. The priestess frowned, noticing for the first time how thin the girl’s wrists had become. After her first outburst, Teleri had made no objection to the marriage. Indeed, she had done everything they asked of her as obediently as any daughter of Avalon. Dierna had assumed Teleri had become reconciled, but she wondered now if she had used the press of preparation to avoid questioning too closely.
“Teleri.” She spoke quietly, and saw the girl’s eyelids twitch. “This craft of seeing in the pool works both ways. You will look in the water each night for visions of what is passing in Britannia—images that I send to you, or that in time you may begin to pick up on your own. But the pool can also be used to send messages. When you are in trance, if you have prepared yourself properly and your will is strong, you may also send a message to me. If something happens—if you are in need—call, and I will come to you.”
Teleri answered without opening her eyes. “For more than two years I have been on Avalon. I had expected to be going to my consecration, not my wedding, by now. It was a fair dream. But now I am being cast out to return to the world. You have told me I am being given to a good man. My fate is no worse than that of any other maiden of noble lineage. It will be better to make the break a clean one….”
Dierna sighed. “As you say, you have spent two years among the priestesses. Avalon has set its mark upon you, Teleri, even if you do not wear the crescent between your brows. Your life will never be as it was, for you are no longer the same. Even if all is well, it would ease me to know how it is with you.” She waited, but there was no answer. “You are angry with me, and perhaps you have reason. But never forget that the Goddess is there to comfort you even if you will not turn to me.”
At this, Teleri straightened and looked at her. “You are the Lady of Avalon…” she said slowly. “You are the Goddess to me.” Then she turned away once more.
Lady, what have I done? thought Dierna, staring at the girl’s profile, as pure and unyielding as some Roman bas-relief. But it was done, or nearly, and the need that had compelled this betrayal—if that was what it was—had not changed. She
closed her own eyes. Lady, You know all hearts. This child cannot understand that what You have asked of us is just as hard for me as it is for
her. Send her the comfort she will not take from me, Lady, and the love….
Carausius hitched the loose end of his toga forward and tried to remember what Pollio had been saying. The man was a major landowner in the Durotrige territories, with trading interests in Rome, a man of influence and connections. But, then, almost everyone whom Prince Eiddin Mynoc had invited to his daughter’s wedding was highborn or powerful, or both. Clad in togas or embroidered linen gowns, they could have been an aristocratic gathering anywhere in the Empire. Only the blue-robed priestess standing by the door reminded one that Britannia had her own gods and her own Mysteries.
“An excellent alliance,” repeated Pollio. “Of course, we were encouraged to hear that Maximian had given you the command, but this connection with one of our most prominent families suggests a more personal interest in Britannia.”
Suddenly it became easy to pay attention. The priestess had offered this marriage as a way to improve communication. Was there a political dimension to marrying the daughter of a British prince that he had not intended? Cleopatra had given all Egypt to Antony, but all he wanted from Teleri was a link to Avalon. He must find some way to make it clear to Prince Eiddin Mynoc and the others that he intended nothing more.
Pollio took a fried cake from the tray offered by one of the slaves and continued. “I have been to Rome. After three centuries they still think we are at the ends of the earth. When times grow hard and pressure is put on their defenses, they will think of us last, when all other needs are met. Have we not seen this, when they pulled troops from our frontier to fight for warring emperors?”
“I am sworn to the Emperor—” Carausius began, but Pollio had not yet finished.
“There are many ways to serve. And perhaps you will not be so swift to pursue your ambitions in Rome if there is someone waiting for you here, eh? Certainly your bride is beautiful enough to keep any man’s attention at home.” Pollio’s grin made the Admiral bristle. “I remember her when she was a gawky child; she has certainly improved in the last year or so!”
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