by Dani McLean
“If I say it like that, it’ll sound as if I’m firing you because of what happened with Pierce.”
“Exactly. He’ll love it.”
“That’s hardly fair on you.”
“Please,” she said, dismissive. “I can handle whatever backlash there is on me. You need to look after yourself.” She cleared her throat. “After the bar, I mean. This is the perfect way to amp up the re-branding as well. You can’t lose.”
I stared back at Tiffany in disbelief. But before I could say anything further, there was a knock on the front door. Tiffany turned on her heel and opened it to let in an attractive man dressed in jeans and a button-down. His wide smile tucked into Tiffany’s shoulder as they hugged, an obvious familiarity between them.
Putting aside my reluctance, I straightened my clothes and walked over, offering my hand out to the man, who quickly took it in a firm hold. His eyes were bright. “Mr. Cooper, it’s an honor. Diego Garcia, from the Tribune.”
“Pleasure is all mine. Please, come in. We can use my office.”
“Great.”
Diego followed me into the office and spent the next few minutes arranging his things. “I appreciate you being free on short notice,” he said, placing a handheld recorder on the desk between us.
“Of course. I’m pleased that Tiffany was able to arrange this.”
“She’s a good friend to have.” His tone seemed to be reaching for something, but it wasn’t my place to dig, so I left it alone. Diego, however, did not. “I owed her big time after she helped host my sister’s birthday a few years back. I’ve actually been hoping to finally get her to agree to start a column at the paper.”
“That sounds more like a favor to you than to her.”
“You know Tiff. She either has everything she wants or is halfway to getting it. Anyway, she said this was more important.”
My mind screeches to a halt. “Excuse me?”
“The interview.” He motions between us. “Tiff called in her favor so that we could set this up. She didn’t mention it?”
“No.”
He shrugged. “It’s a damn shame. Not that I’m not excited for this,” he corrected himself. “And it clearly means a lot to Tiff if she’s passing up a job for it.” He pressed a button on the recorder. “Ready to start?”
I blinked.
“Mr. Cooper?”
Shaking off my shock, I nodded, feeling my professional mask slide back into place.
When the inevitable question came up regarding my return and finding my place among the established bar owners in town, I was reminded of Tiffany’s sentiment earlier, and anger curdled in my stomach.
It never occurred to me that she would throw herself under the bus like that. And all because that overinflated pompous douche Pierce had decided he had a bone to pick with the both of us.
When I arrived in town, I’d understood that my reputation would result in some ruffled feathers that I would need to smooth if I wanted to make this work.
What I hadn’t expected was for none of that to matter because I was dealing with a group of toddlers who were angry that a woman had stood up for herself and called them out.
Frankly, Tiffany had been right. Stephen Pierce could go fuck himself.
It shouldn’t have taken this to happen to show me that I wasn’t doing enough to protect my bar.
I should have been the one to set Pierce in his place.
It seemed I’d acted passively for long enough.
And Tiffany. Going out of her way to arrange an interview where I could kiss the shoes of that … that ass.
In the past, I would have questioned the motives behind it. Not because it was Tiffany, although perhaps I would have initially, but because I was far too used to every person acting in their own interest.
For her to apologize and ask me to give Pierce exactly what he wanted …
I knew there was not a chance in hell I was going to say what she’d told me to.
I had no idea how things would turn out after my comments to Diego made their way to Pierce, but I was done caring what that man thought. Of course, I could guess that he wouldn’t be pleased, and that wouldn’t result in any change with the contractor.
But that was a lesson I’d have to move on from.
On the plus side, Devon had come through yet again, his sister’s resumé was rather impressive for her age. I saw a lot of ambition in between the lines of her experience, and I’d agreed to a probationary period, hoping to see how she worked under Tiffany’s guidance while Tiffany was still around.
Which wouldn’t be for much longer. And when she left, this fanciful blip in my behavior would be over, and I could focus.
Jade was ready and willing to start that night. It was easy to see the resemblance to her brother. Same kind eyes, same steely determination. And when she got behind the bar, she was impressive. Smart as a whip. Picked things up quickly, asked questions, practiced until she felt confident, and then moved on.
I could already tell she was going to be a good addition. Not quite a replacement for Tiffany, but that was always going to be an impossible task.
After Devon had taken her through the basics, Tiffany took over, testing her knowledge on recipes and selecting a few for Jade to prepare so that she could judge. There was no reason for me not to be in my office, except for a flimsy excuse to keep an eye on the proceedings, but no one questioned my presence, perched on a stool at the bar instead of my usual seat in the back corner.
Almost no one.
Tiffany’s fond glances at me between directions washed over me. This was nice. The camaraderie was light, teasing. It reminded me of friends I’d had when I was growing up, big families who got along. Harry and I were close, but we’d never had this. I might not be a part of this, but I was glad to be near it.
After a while of watching them work, two things became glaringly obvious. Tiffany was pleased with Jade’s skills, and Jade was very interested in Tiffany.
I honestly couldn’t tell if Tiffany had picked up on this second fact because she wasn’t acting any different than she did with the rest of the staff, and, I realized with a start, I hadn’t ever witnessed Tiffany flirt with anyone apart from myself.
“This is good,” Tiffany said, pleased with Jade’s replication of one of her recipes.
“It’s easy when you have such a good teacher.” Jade tucked a tuft of tight curls behind her ear, head cocked, smile warm and inviting.
Tiffany let out a delighted laugh, then caught my eye again. “I like this one. You did good, Sam.”
I couldn’t help the curl of my lips as Jade preened under Tiffany’s compliment, and I wondered again if Tiffany had any idea that Jade was putty in her hands. Wondered if this was just how Tiffany rendered everyone she interacted with.
She was a force. A magnet. A revelation.
What had begun as a teasing amusement at the interaction twisted into something darker when I began to wonder whether it was time to step aside; end things with Tiffany now before it became too difficult for me to do so. If it wasn’t already. She deserved someone who could give her a future. Give her all of themself.
Whether it was Jade or not, it wasn’t for me to say. Still, the truth was that I had always known where my limits were, and even though I had been selfish enough to indulge this attraction, I couldn’t let my selfishness ruin any possibility of her finding someone who would treasure her and be what she wanted in a partner.
When one of the kegs needed replacing, Tiffany put her hand up and walked downstairs with a passing wink that I hoped no one else noticed.
Devon and Jade were working side by side, simultaneously cleaning and managing prep work, when Jade asked him, “Hey, Dev, you know if Tiffany is seeing anyone?”
So, I hadn’t been imagining it, then. I began reading more intensely, even if the words were blurred in front of me.
“You don’t waste any time,” Devon joked.
“What? She’s hot as fuck. Funny, too.”<
br />
I couldn’t argue with either sentiment.
He shrugged. “All I know is that she broke up with her girlfriend a couple of months ago, no idea if she’s seeing anyone now.”
Jade’s smile widened. “Can’t hurt to ask.”
Devon shook his head. “I’ve told you before; I’m not getting involved in your love life. If you want to know, ask her yourself.”
“Oh, I will.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
36
Tiff
When the scruffy head of my baby brother walked into the bar midweek, I squealed, surprising Sam and a number of patrons who were at the bar. Without waiting a beat, I threw my apron at Sam, shouted, “Taking my break!” and then rushed around the bar to wrap Theo in a hug.
“You just keep getting taller every time I see you.” I patted his head like I would a golden retriever, laughing when he smacked my hand away.
“Fuck off, Tuff Stuff.” He chuckled.
“Language,” I said, mimicking mama’s tone perfectly.
Taking in his tired appearance, I couldn’t help but be elated at seeing him again. I took the opportunity to squeeze in another hug. “You made it! It’s so good to see you.”
“You, too. What’s it been? Three months?”
“Almost nine, you asshole.” God, had it really been that long? He looked so much the same and yet older, wearier. “But I’m glad you’re here now. Can you stay long?”
A seat opened up at the edge of the bar, and I ushered him over to it, keeping us out of the way of paying customers. He looked relieved to be off his feet. “I can’t stay late, but I’ve got some time. So, hey, I know we already talked about this when it happened, but I’m sorry about Hannah.”
I nodded solemnly, not wanting to rehash the past. Only getting to see my brother every once in a while meant relaying life events via text and then cramming in our congratulations or consolations in person, long after it had passed. “Thanks.”
It was at this point that Sam wandered over because, of course, it was. What better timing to have my current fling arrive than at the moment my brother brings up my ex?
Which was how I would explain the sudden butterflies I felt if anyone asked. Nothing at all to do with the fact that this was the first time someone I was sleeping with met my family.
Fuck.
My mouth turned dry.
Without asking, Sam passed me a glass of water, then turned to Theo. “Can I get you anything?”
“Just a light beer.”
“This is my baby brother,” I said, hoping the non-sequitur would be put down to my usual brashness and not because I was irrationally fearful they’d hate each other (though, really, how irrational could that be? I hated Sam in the beginning. That said, Theo was an angel compared to me).
“Good to meet you. Theo, right? Tiffany’s told me lots of good things. I’m Sam, the owner.” He put the beer on the bar, then held out his hand.
Theo shook it before giving me a sly grin. “Really? Because I’ve heard only terrible things about you.”
Nurses don’t need their external limbs, right?
I was relieved when Sam laughed. “Now, that doesn’t surprise me.”
When Theo went to hand over a bill for the beer, Sam pushed it back. “On the house.”
It was busy enough tonight that Sam couldn’t stay to chat, and I was as disappointed as I was relieved.
“He seems like a good guy.”
Instinctively, I looked over in Sam’s direction. He was cleaning glasses while taking an order, his easy charm pulling a smile from the burly guy he was talking to. I didn’t blame him. Sam was like a slow-burning flame, warm and comforting. “He is.”
Theo was immediately interested. “Oh, is he now? Just how good are we talking?”
I smacked him. “Not a word.”
“Is it serious?”
“No.” But it sounded like a question.
I looked away but couldn’t help being drawn back like a magnet to Sam, who was making one of our Saturday night regulars laugh. I felt my lips curl up in response like I could hear what he’d said.
“Does he know how you feel?”
I tore my eyes away, running a finger over a groove in the bar, just feeling the indentation over and over, the grain soft and worn. “I don’t even know how I feel.”
“I think we both know that’s a lie.”
Ugh, Theo was the worst. “It’s complicated.”
“What isn’t.”
“Wow, you’re really helpful. Why aren’t you getting paid to give love advice, Miss Bradshaw?”
“Oh, fuck off, you know I’m probably the only one with a worse track record than you. Alls I know is, the only other time I’ve seen you with that dreamy look on your face was when you watched The Mummy for the first time and couldn’t decide between Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser.”
I took a moment to just bask in the loveliness of that memory. Total bi awakening. “Ok, fine. I’m not saying I know what this is yet, but yeah, it’s special. Different. He’s … he’s so calm and thoughtful and planned. And funny, but in this totally devious way that you wouldn’t think he was capable of. Like sweet as sugar on the outside and a devil underneath.”
“Sounds perfect for you.”
I swatted him on the arm. “You know I don’t believe in perfection. That’s too much. It’s more like he’s ok with me as myself. Likes me like that, but also makes me want to be better, you know?” I swallowed harshly against the weight of feeling in my throat, aware suddenly of how fast my heart was beating. Fluttering, so close to the surface.
It was too much. Forcing a self-deprecating smile, I feebly tried to push it down. Now was not the time to get my hopes up. “Clearly, he’s a fool.”
Unconvinced, Theo eyed me carefully. “You always do that. Anytime you find something good, you minimize it. You’ve always said you’re happier with short term, but I think it’s easier to be with people you know aren’t serious prospects because then you never have to give anyone the ability to hurt you. It’s ok to let someone in you know. Hurts like hell, but the only way you’ll know it’s worth it is to try.”
Theo knew better than anybody (maybe even better than Audrey) how fast I usually ran. It was funny, now that I thought about it, how similarly different Sam and I were. He was meticulous, measured but always up early and ready to get started. I slept in late, took ages to come online, but ran at breakneck speeds once I was there. Maybe we could balance each other out. We already made a good team.
But that … was short-lived. Now that Jade was there, I wouldn’t be needed anymore. And what did that mean for us? Was there an us?
I eyed Theo’s beer, envious. I could really use a drink right now. He seemed to understand, holding his beer out to me, which I waved away. “Enough about my love life. What’s going on with yours?”
He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, a resigned droop affecting his posture. “Ugh, nothing interesting.”
“Seriously? Whatever happened to cute coffee guy?”
“He must’ve switched shifts or moved or somethin’. I never see him working there anymore. I was gonna text him, but it’s hard with work, and it’s just …”
“Complicated,” I finished for him. God, what a pair we were. “Damn, sorry.”
“It’ll be fine.” He reached over, clicking his beer bottle to my glass of water. “To complicated.”
Jade was working out great, and while I was impressed to see that she fit right in, working with the rest of the team and barely slipping once all night, the first turn of realization occurred in my mind.
This was it. The beginning of the end.
In the time (fuck, had it really been a few months now?) since I’d quit, I always knew it was coming, but I hadn’t given much thought to when. I’d assumed I’d feel a little sad (it had been over four years of my life after all) and somewhat relieved, but this? There was a storm of … something mixed in there, churning
in my chest like murder hornets, electric and dangerous.
Foreboding.
Sam and I hadn’t spoken yet about how long I’d be needed. From the looks of it, it wouldn’t be long. At least where Jade was concerned. Maybe another week of teaching her some recipes, testing her on the ins and outs of the bar … After that, there’d be no reason to have me around, no reason to see Sam at all, unless …
Unless we kept seeing each other.
I liked the idea; I couldn’t deny it. Even without the sex (which was, admittedly, some of the best I’d ever had), I liked Sam. Liked being around him. Talking to him. Hearing his opinions, even when they were wrong (although he was rarely wrong, which was all the more frustrating).
So, seeing him outside of this place? Outside of the bubble we’d created between work and life? It was easy to admit that I wanted to.
But would Sam?
He’d been adamant from the beginning about the boundaries of this … fling. And as much as my first instinct was to say something, push those boundaries, ask him outright ... Well, I’d seen first hand the consequences of my impulsiveness where Sam was concerned.
In fact, ever since Sam had arrived, I’d had to face the realities of my actions. Hearing both him and Harry say to my face how I’d overstepped had definitely dented my ego, but they’d been right. And mama had taught me that kindness always started with humility.
Maybe it was time to be patient? (I hated the thought already).
I was just about to start packing the bar down and shooing Devon and Jade home so that Sam and I could get some time together when I was the one given the signal to leave.
Devon took the rag out of my hands, “Go on. You’ve earned an early night for once.”
“Early is right. It’s 2 a.m.”
“All the more reason for you to get.”
My eyes darted to Sam, where he was leaning on the door frame of his office, arms crossed over his chest, looking tired but happy. It was a good look on him. Our gaze met across the room, but Jade stepped into my line of sight before I could do anything.