I felt so embarrassed. Girls told me I kissed well. That they liked the way I did it. But maybe she was used to something better so she'd regretted it. I'd tried so hard to seem mature enough to her. To make her feel safe and comfortable with me. And she'd just left. Sometimes I wanted to bang my head against a wall when I thought of how badly I'd screwed up.
"That sucks, man," I said to Jacob. I wasn’t going either. I had hurt my left shoulder last night and the doctor said it needed to heal before I got back on the field.
It wasn't even that bad. I hardly felt the pain but maybe that was due to the medication I'd been given. However, our coach said I didn't need the extra training and didn't have to attend camp with an injury.
"Yeah. I really wanted to go but I promised Dad I'd help out at home while Cole is out of the country."
I nodded. "I get it. But you're planning to go to the Halloween party, right? At the ruins next Saturday. Everybody's going to be there."
He let out a chuckle. "Wouldn't miss that for anything. You know I love Halloween."
"Hmm. I hate dressing up though. Think I'll just wear my jersey."
Jacob gave me a look. "Come on. Get into the spirit of things. You wear that jersey every year. Be a little adventurous this time. It could get you laid."
I just shook my head at him. Jacob focused on sex the same way he focused on soccer. As though it was a necessary routine for him. 'One fuck a day keeps the doctor away', he had told me a couple of weeks ago and I'd just laughed even if I didn't share his views.
I couldn't regard something so intimate in such a clinical manner.
When I heard the sound of water running in the kitchen sink, I realised that Aali hadn't said a single word the whole time Jacob and I had been talking. It was so weird. Usually, she never hesitated to give her opinion even if it was unwanted.
Jacob thumped me on the shoulder. "I gotta head back. Thanks again. I owe you."
He waved the paper at me but then paused for a while as his gaze shifted towards the stairs. I sensed him hesitating slightly before he finally turned and strode out of the house. Pulling another textbook towards me to start on my next homework assignment, I happened to glance up at my sister by accident at that very moment.
She was staring at the open doorway of the living room with the saddest expression I had ever seen on her face. Her dark eyes were full of pain, her lips pinched and hand just pressed against her stomach as if she was aching inside.
"Aaliyah," I called to her, starting to get up. "What's wrong?"
She moved abruptly and dumped some pots and spoons in the sink before whipping off her apron.
"Can you take this thing out when it's done?" she asked me, pointing at the oven.
Speechlessly, I nodded at her, still feeling disturbed by what I'd seen earlier.
"Great," she said cheerfully. "I need to go do something." Shooting me one of her wicked smiles, she walked away as though nothing had happened.
Nothing had happened but...
The way she'd been looking at the door...just after my best friend had left...
It wasn't possible. Jacob would never hurt her. He knew how much she meant to me. There were a lot of girls for him to mess around with and my sister wasn't one of them. Then I almost laughed out loud even if the thought wasn't the least bit funny. I sat there and wondered what he would do if he ever found out that I'd kissed his mother.
****
Chapter 6
Skye
What was it with the males in my house and not remembering to empty out their pockets when they placed their laundry in the hamper? For the dozenth time, I removed something that shouldn't be there from my son's jeans’ pocket while doing the laundry on a Friday afternoon.
It was a consent form for a soccer camp happening this weekend. I frowned at the paper which was all creased and dirty. Why hadn't he told me? Putting the jeans aside, I went into the kitchen where Jacob was doing his homework and smoothed the paper out in front of him.
"When were you going to show this to me?" I asked him. "It says here that the bus leaves by seven tonight. Did you forget to tell me?"
He furrowed his brows at the form. "I can't go," he mumbled and resumed scribbling something in his book.
"Why not? Did your coach say something?"
My son let out a sigh. "No. I just need to catch up on my schoolwork."
He said it quite seriously and probably meant it too but I let out a laugh at his statement.
"Jacob, when did you start caring more about your schoolwork than soccer?" I asked him in an indulgent tone.
His head was bowed and he refused to answer or look at me. I studied his stiff posture and sighed.
"Honey. Did Dad tell you to stay home with me? Is that why you didn't ask me about the camp?"
He shook his head, almost to himself. "It's fine, Mom. I don't mind helping," he mumbled again.
I exhaled loudly and reached for one of his spare pens before proceeding to sign the form. "Here. Go pack your things. I'll drop you off at the pick-up site."
His head shot up and a sliver of excitement and hope appeared in his blue eyes. I felt so sorry for him. He loved soccer but because he felt obligated to stay with me in the absence of his fathers, he was going to give up an important sports event this weekend. No seventeen year old should have to do that.
I wasn't some helpless damsel in distress as Jasper liked to think. I could handle being on my own and taking care of Izzy and Ben. These men! Always thinking I needed protecting. It was annoying sometimes. They could have a little more faith in me.
"I promised Dad," Jacob tried again but his tone wasn't convincing. Just a little helpless. Like he didn't want to let Jasper down.
"You're going to the camp, Jacob," I told him firmly. "I'll handle your father."
...
After I'd dropped him off and returned home to make dinner, I started to feel so relieved. Izzy and Ben kept mostly to themselves unless they really needed me for something. I missed Cole but at least he wasn't there craving attention from me and I could sort out my thoughts without feeling under pressure. Jacob was behaving now but if he hadn't gotten to attend camp, his moodiness would have soured up the whole weekend.
So it was just me and my peace of mind. I was smiling as I cooked dinner. After what felt like years, I had a weekend all to myself. Well, almost. But my youngest two kids wouldn't give me much trouble. Ben usually liked to stay busy with his schoolwork and projects whereas Isabelle was all about painting and watching movies.
I wondered what to do to make this weekend even more relaxing. There were so many options for a woman.
...
One of those options seemed to just present itself on my doorstep early the next morning. Everything was silent in the house as I made myself coffee and hummed a cheerful tune. Izzy and Ben were sleeping and I was busy listening to the birds chirping outside and sipping on some hot beverage.
Who knew being alone could feel so good after seventeen years of marriage? Also, I was starting to get why Jasper enjoyed his freedom so much even if he did love Cole and was committed to their relationship.
The doorbell rang and a frown marred my brow as I went over to the living room. It was only six in the morning, too early for visitors. The dew was still wet on the grass and fog still hung in the air.
When I opened the door, I found Zi standing there wearing a hoodie and jeans and just watching me in that mysterious way of his.
"Boun giorno, Mrs. Sawyer," he murmured politely and gave me a slight smile.
Oh, so it was back to Mrs. Sawyer now, was it? Kid wasn't being so forward now that we were facing each other in the light of day.
I felt nervous again but told myself to behave. He was a boy. That was all. I didn't have to let him intimidate me or even regard him as a temptation. He was my son's best friend and my neighbour's kid. He was harmless.
That kiss had been just a glitch in my whole network of smooth operations. Nothing we couldn't
put behind us.
"I came to apologise," he said to me in a serious tone.
Stepping aside, I let him in since it was cold outside and it felt ridiculous to keep him at the door when this was a place he regarded as his second home. He was here all the time. Well, except lately. Lately, he'd been significantly absent from this house.
"Listen, Ziad," I began as I put down my mug of coffee on the kitchen table to go and pour one for him. "Forget about it. It doesn't have to be any more awkward than it already is, okay. Besides," I continued as I busied myself with my task. "I was the one who kissed you so I should be the one to apologise, not you. It was wrong of me. I'm really sorry. Let's just put it-"
I let out a squeak when I turned around and almost bumped into him. He'd followed me into the kitchen and was doing that standing-really-close-to-me thing again. The thing that got me nervous and excited all at once.
"I didn't come to apologise because I kissed you," he said, forcing me to look up at him when he paused after making that statement.
Our gazes caught and held, an invisible pull emanating from him once more, rendering me a little breathless. Jesus. I needed therapy.
"Wait. What did you come to apologise for then?" I asked him in confusion.
He lowered his eyes to my mouth and his own lips parted. "I'm sorry if I didn't do a good enough job the last time," he replied in his deep, husky voice. "Maybe you could teach me how to do it properly. Show me how to please you."
My heart thudded wildly against my ribcage. Was I dreaming or did he really just say those words to me? He didn't even sound ashamed.
"Ziad. I really think you should go," I stated firmly, trying to sound like an adult.
But inside, I felt all weak and fluttery. What was this boy doing to me? Why him?
To my shock, he actually lifted his hand and trailed his fingers up my bare arm seductively while still holding my gaze. I was wearing a short-sleeved robe tied around my waist and felt goosebumps on my skin at his touch.
"Please," he said in a whisper and moved closer. "I can't sleep at nights since we kissed because I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong," he confessed, sounding genuinely worried.
I moistened my lips. "You didn't do anything wrong," I whispered back.
He dark brown eyes searched my gaze. "I didn't? So...you liked it?"
Like was a mild term for the animalistic urge that had taken over me at the feel of his lips against mine.
"We can't," I said simply, avoiding his question.
His other hand came up as well to touch my other arm. My nipples strained against the silk of my robe. Oh, God. I was a sick human being.
"Mrs. Sawyer," he said in a husky murmur and bent his head. "Do you really want me to go?"
His mouth was right there. Just inches from mine. I selfishly wanted to claim it again just like that night. What else would he make me feel if I let it happen?
I surprised myself by bringing my hand up then and slowly moving my fingers through the thick dark strands of his hair. Zi actually closed his eyes at my touch and his expression was pleased.
"Mmm." The sound that escaped him was so raw and shameless. Like he didn't mind revelling in my touch at all. "That feels good."
I was mesmerized. By a teenage boy. The voice in my head kept saying, Stop, Skye. Don't do this. Move away from him.
But my body was telling me another story altogether. A story of unadulterated passion and undeniable curiosity.
This time, neither of us kissed the other first. It just happened simultaneously. Our lips moved to capture each other's and the result was the same as before. A desperate, hungry melding of mouths.
Except this time, he slipped me the tongue. I had to clutch at his shoulders to keep my knees from going weak. He was an extremely good kisser and I was getting wet just from the way he was doing it. Ziad's hands gripped my waist very tightly as though he was fighting really hard not to let them roam all over my body. Still remembering his manners even in the middle of such a bold act.
We probably would have let our hands roam quite a lot if another minute had passed. I probably would have gotten frustrated enough to demand it or he would've lost control eventually.
But I heard my daughter's voice calling out to me and shoved Ziad away from me so fast, my head began to spin. Moving back, I gripped the counter behind me, trying to control my breathing. Ziad just stared at me, his hair all messed up and lips swollen.
"Hey, Mom. Good morning," Isabelle mumbled as she reached the kitchen while rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn. "Zi? What're you doing here? Jacob left for camp yesterday."
He wasn't answering her. I didn't think he could. I tried not to look but my gaze caught on the telltale bulge in the front of his jeans which he couldn't hide.
"Zi was just here to get something of his from Jacob's room," I said to Isabelle, smiling at her while cringing inside. "Honey, can you please close the front door? I left it open and the cold's getting inside."
She trudged off to do as I asked while Ziad ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. "I'm going to use the back door," he muttered in a pained voice and I nodded before watching him go.
How easy had that been? To do something so forbidden and then lie to my daughter when I had almost gotten caught.
And instead of feeling guilty about it, I just felt...numb. Like I'd turned off the part of my brain that kept telling me this was wrong and was only following my instincts.
I loved Cole. I knew that without a doubt. And I loved Jasper too. I didn't want to hurt my husband or family.
But I also knew I felt like doing things with Ziad that no married woman should be thinking about doing behind her husband's back.
God, why did it feel so good?
****
Chapter 7
Cole
Twenty four hours. It took me twenty four fucking hours to finally reach Jasper's hotel in Queensland, Australia. I didn't know how he did it. I hated every minute of that trip. The seventeen-hour direct flight from Milan to Perth and then a four hour one to Queensland. Plus the hours spent dealing with customs and driving to the hotel. Holy shit.
I was never going on another overseas trip again. Thank God I'd had a book with me. I finished the entire 800 pages of a high fantasy novel on that long flight which sort of made it bearable.
Jasper picked me up at the airport. It was touching as fuck because he'd been at a photo shoot and postponed it just to be there to receive me. I would have been fine making my way to the hotel on my own but he had insisted.
I couldn't stop smiling. God, I'd missed him like hell. A whole month of not being able to touch him, imagining him so far away. And now we were here. Together.
We talked about random stuff and I was so exhausted that I didn't even care to look around me and check out the new city I was in. I'd only ever gone to London whenever I left Italy. This was a unique experience for me, one that I was sure I might appreciate more once I'd slept off the jet lag.
His room had a fantastic view. This was all paid by the Queensland company Jasper had been hired by for the duration of the three months. He dared to take those shots of nature that would freak most people out at his age. A few years back, he learned how to surf just so he could take his photography to the next level and get those perfect hollow wave shots. It was surreal.
I sometimes wished I had half his talent. And his bravery. The guy never lost his zest for life. I was lucky to have him in mine to keep inspiring me to embrace living in the best way possible instead of just using ageing as an excuse to give up.
"That...is awesome," I said in wonder as I walked over to the large French windows overlooking the ocean.
Millions of tiny, colourful lights and tall buildings stretching away forever. The water sparkled in the dusk light as the horizon quickly swallowed up the sun.
"I'm glad you're here to share the view with me," he murmured, coming up beside me. "It got a little lonely sometimes."
Turning to l
ook at him, I tried not to let my emotions overwhelm me. For Jasper to admit that he felt lonely was a rare thing indeed.
"I missed you too," I whispered to him, losing myself in his dark eyes.
We used up almost half a minute to bask in each other's presence. This was real. I hadn't wanted to leave Skye and the kids but now that I was with Jasper, I was glad that I had come. Another two months without him would have been torture.
"Fuck, I love you," I stated in a passionate, no-nonsense tone.
He smirked at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You don't have to sound so angry about it," he teased me.
I grinned at him then, my heart feeling light and carefree.
"So what do you want to eat?" he asked me casually, looking absolutely devastating in his white dress shirt and jeans. "Let's get dinner out of the way and then it'll just be you and me and that bed right there," he added, jerking his chin at the king size bed which to be honest, looked so damn luxurious and inviting.
How I wished I wasn't tired so I could really make use of that bed. Skye and I hadn't had sex for almost a week before she had sent me here.
I could barely stand upright though. Jasper reached out to pluck something out of my hair and I frowned at him.
"What? Was it a bug or something?" I questioned in puzzlement.
He shook his head and flicked the thing away with a finger before regarding me with amusement.
"Gray hair," he said lightly and started to chuckle when I swore at him in good humour.
He loved making fun of the fact that we were growing old and it drove Skye mad sometimes. Which was probably why it was one of his favourite things to do when he was at home.
Instinctively, I reached out and hugged him, breathing in his musky scent and taking comfort in his arms. My lover. No matter how much time passed, I never felt like I could be completely whole without him.
~~~
Zi
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