Pleasure Vows

by Khloe Summers

  “No… of course I don’t mind. I brought some board games and I downloaded a few movies we could…”

  “Or, we can just snuggle.”

  I choked back the air that I’d just taken in, kissed the top of her head, and started the truck back up. There was no reasoning with this feeling—I needed her, and one way or another—she needed me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Matteo

  I left Jake in Ireland with a rental car, an international license, a cell phone, and 2000 euros. We planned to touch base today at 3 PM and discuss our plans for tomorrow. Now, it’s nearly 6 PM. I tried not to be obsessive, but I’ve made twenty-plus calls in the three hours I’ve been waiting. If this had been any other circumstance, I’d have assumed he drank himself into a coma and was laying haphazardly stooped over a bar stool. And though he convinced me of his sanity when I left him—I should have known better. He was raw, in pain, willing to do anything to get the answers he needed.

  In my time since reaching my childhood home, I’d spent the last twenty-four hours researching survey maps of Kings Ranch, while also trying to find any missing girls reports in the U.S. that matched the faces I’d seen in the videos. The thought that at the very least I could give the girls’ families closure on what happened gave added motivation to work relentlessly. I looked back at my phone, checking for a message from Jake—still nothing. Tucking it back into my pocket, I made my way to the panic room on the third floor of the castle. For now, I could pack the go-bag so I was ready to leave when needed. The small room sat behind a false bookshelf and was bulletproof, fireproof, and held irreplaceable family heirlooms, unregistered guns, cash, and a small supply of food in case we were forced to spend any real amount of time there. I hadn’t cracked the door in nearly a decade—not since my parents died. If they could see the mess I’d created now, they’d be sick.

  Reaching for the dial, I spun the combination that had been drilled into my brain since childhood: 39R-87L-88R-99R. As the last number hit, I felt a slight release and the door sprung open with the scent of must and mildew. Against the walls were shelves with boxes of photos, jewelry, and personal records.

  Near the back, sitting mid-shelf, covered in dust on top of a redwood box, the go-bag. I pulled the green duffle down, unzipped it, then began rummaging through its contents—three guns, various boxes of bullets, and what looked to be about 100,000 euros. There had to be more. I pulled the heavyweight of the redwood box off the shelf and pried off the top. Inside, a framed photo of my parents and me in front of a large gothic cathedral Christmas morning. They looked so in love at that moment, at the height of their success. And I, a goofy gap-toothed kid with a crooked grin across my face, no older than ten. Beneath the photo, a velvet bag with their wedding bands, and some Italian recipes my grandmother had handed down—her handwriting on the lined cards nearly illegible and worn with time.

  Hannah would have loved to see these memories; she’d have swiped up the photos and planned to make me a scrapbook. I tucked the photos into the duffle and continued to empty the box. Under the recipes, stacks of money. I ran into the attached room and grabbed two larger bags, then stacked the cash inside, counting as I went. Nearly five million euros now sat at my disposal. At the very bottom of the box, an envelope that had been sealed—my name printed on the front in my mother's handwriting. Heat flushed my face as I felt the crisp envelope in my hands. Whatever her words were, they’d been tucked inside this box for nearly a decade. I leaned against the back wall, and pulled at the white flap, pulling out a lined sheet of paper with a note written in Italian with faded blue ink.

  Matteo,

  We lost your dad today, and I can’t stop thinking about all he left for us. I’m afraid I might forget, I’m afraid you’ll never know how perfect we were for each other. I’m afraid you’ll never know how lucky we were to have had the love we did.

  We were young when we met, still teenagers. But when we were together, he lit a flame inside of me that never died. He had so much passion for adventure and life, he would have done anything to achieve his dreams, and he did.

  When he first told me that racing horses would make us billions of dollars—I slapped him on his shoulder and laughed, thinking he must be kidding. We both came from families of grove hands and knew nothing of raising horses, let alone racing them. But your dad didn’t let that stop him. Instead, he bought a couple of Arabians everyone believed to be too old for racing and trained them tirelessly until he’d forgotten his name, and we’d spent nearly every cent we had on equipment and tournaments. I don’t know how he did it. No one would have believed what we raised those horses from.

  The funny thing is my son, those are the days that I remember the most. The days when homemade wine tasted like Chateau Lafite, and the world was still set to be explored. The days when I still had the energy to run into your dad’s arms at the end of the day, and nothing held us back from living out our wildest fantasies. Find yourself someone who lights a fire inside of you, and the rest works itself out. And trust, trust in yourself and whoever has the match, to keep that fire lit.

  Xo Mom

  P.S. If you’re in this box, you must need a quick escape. Call the number on the back of this note, it’s been in service for over fifty years and will take you to a group who will help you with whatever you need.

  I sat in that spot and read the letter aloud a dozen times before moving, letting the tears fall onto my lips and down over my chin. The truth was, I hadn’t forgotten the love she and my father shared. It was their love that inspired me to keep looking until I found Hannah. Thoughts spiraled in my head as I sat against the panic room wall. What was I fighting for? Kings Ranch was too big. They’d been pulling off international kidnappings for who knows how long. They’d almost succeeded at killing me once. They had taken Hannah. What was I trying to prove?

  Reality then hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to help Jake find his daughter, but after that… I was going back to Hannah, and we were hiding. I didn’t need to stick around for revenge. Fuck, they didn’t even need to know I was there if everything went as it was supposed to.

  I dialed the number on the back of the paper and made arrangements to have Hannah and my identities changed. An older Italian man answered asked for basic information, as though he’d done this dozens of times, let me know how to contact him before the meetup, and how much money to bring. He then assured me he’d brief me last minute, then hung up the phone. The entire interaction lasted less than five minutes, but I trusted the number my mother gave me. I folded up the lined paper and placed it in the duffle, then made my way back up to the bedroom to gather the rest of my things—a few more photos for our future children to see, a book of my mother's recipes, and a bag of lemons from the grove on the property.

  I checked the phone again, it was nearly 7 PM and still nothing from Jake. I searched for hospitals in the area and began to call, giving each his name and description—nothing. Our meeting with this mysterious letter sender was in less than twenty-four hours. I had to get to Ireland and start searching for Jake. As I made my way to the SUV, I tried calling Jake one last time—nothing. A stone fell heavy into my stomach. It was as though Jake had disappeared. And I knew all too well what disappearing meant in Kings Ranch country.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Hannah

  Nothing made more sense to me than strong hands around my waist in a windstorm, but the harder I tried to ignore my feelings, the more sense they began to make. And soon Kevin’s rationale of ‘Living in the moment and controlling only what I could’ made sense. If I dwelled on Matteo’s decisions and made myself crazy with the ‘how could he do this’ and ‘why didn’t he bother calling’ I was going to go crazy. And right now, at this moment, appreciating Kevin as another human who was reaching out, was what I needed. These are the thoughts I pondered as I sat in Kevin’s arms quietly for the next hour.

  When we arrived at the hotel, he checked in at the charming
boutique hotel near the sea. Seafoam green and pale sand décor blended throughout the entryway and into the halls as we made our way to the classically designed room with a king-sized bed. Stark white linens caught my eye, as well as two mason jar lamps on the end tables. Towards the back, a large bathroom with a glass-enclosed shower and heat changing tiles.

  Kevin walked towards the large picture window to open the shades. “You still feel like staying in? I think we’ve missed the whale watch but we—”

  “No. I still feel like staying here.” I sat at the edge of the bed, kicked off my sandals, then leaned back, feeling the weight of my breasts lift towards my neck when I fell. “Do you want to go out?”

  He smiled shyly, then bent onto the bed, flexing well-defined arms that barely stayed confined in the tight sleeves of his shirt. “I want to see you smile, so if staying in makes you happy, then this is perfect.”

  I turned my head down but kept contact with his eyes. “Why don’t you lay down. It’s been a long drive.

  Kevin smiled forcing soft wrinkles. “That might be dangerous.”

  I turned my head. “Dangerous? How so?”

  He threw himself onto the bed, then leaned his head in his hand. “Well… this mattress could have been way too soft. I could have thrown my back out,” he laughed.

  “Is it?”

  “Is it what?”

  “Too soft? The mattress?”

  His eyes focused on mine. “No… everything feels just right.”

  I forced back my girlish grin and willed my brain to stop thinking as he lifted his hand to dance fingertips on my skin. Kevin was so steady, always there, ready to pick me up. He didn’t have to be that guy. Fuck, he shouldn’t have been that guy. I’d done nothing but disappoint him.

  “What are you thinking about?” His voice was raspy like he needed a drink.

  I turned my body towards him, leaning my head into my hand. “Just how lucky I am that you’re still putting up with me.”

  He smiled wide, showing off his perfect white teeth. “Less luck, more crazy on my part.”

  Smiling back, I hit him playfully on his arm and rolled closer into his side. We were like two teenagers fighting off hormones. He rested his hand in the slight dip of my waist and grazed his focus up and over the cotton floral dress I wore and onto my face.

  “What if I kissed you?”

  My heart stopped. “What if you did?”

  He slid his resting hand over the curve of my hip, my breast, and onto my neck, brushing my chin with the tip of his finger. “Well, if I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop.”

  Like lightning against glass, his words shattered me, allowing him access to places I’d sworn he’d never return. I narrowed in towards his lips, taking in the scent of the spearmint gum he’d been chewing. “I don’t want you to stop.”

  Heat flickered through my body as our lips touched and his fingers spread through my hair. I bent back, throwing my hair as I begged him to continue. He let his lips linger on my skin, moving across my collar bone, onto my forearm, then back towards my breast, pulling my light cotton dress down with his teeth to expose my hardened nipple. Air stuck in my throat as I arched in pleasure, enjoying the wet heat he spread all over my body. I never wanted him to stop, I wanted him to keep going until I forgot who I was and the throbbing between my legs subsided.

  With his legs on either side of my waist, he unbuttoned his shirt, exposing the crisp white tee that drove me wild. I reached beneath it, feeling each ridge of his core rise one after the other as he continued to strip and slide off the bed, dragging with him my dress and panties.

  He lifted my foot to his shoulder and kissed my ankle and each toe gently, then unzipped his pants, letting them fall to the floor with a heavy thud. With leverage from my ankle, he pulled me to the edge of the mattress, then bent me up at my waist, kissing me generously on the lips before flipping me onto my knees. The motion was fast, allowing just a moment's sight of his hard cock before he’d thrust inside, forcing waves of euphoria against my soaking wet walls.

  Reaching a hand between my legs, he rubbed at my swollen clit until a sticky sheen released, driving him over the edge. He paused, letting out a low deep rumble from his throat that made me want to come again. I pushed back into him, teasing the last bit of spirit from his dick. He pulled out, and collapsed on the bed, inviting the heat of my naked body to lay against his chest.

  I snuggled into him, enjoying the warm afterglow of the high as I listened to his heart beat erratically, and quivered from the slight touch of his fingertips on my back.

  “I’m so glad you exist, Hannah. I think about it every day.”

  I wrapped into him further, sliding my hand up over his hard pecs. “All I have done is cause problems. You would be better off if I’d never existed.”

  “Life is just a series of problems, isn’t it? The real miracle is when you find someone who makes those problems seem small.” He leaned his head into mine and kissed my forehead, lingering until his phone began to buzz. “I’m sure that’s Sophie. I told her to call when they had reception again.”

  I lifted my head from his chest, allowing him the space he needed to move, but he pulled me back in, squeezing me against him with soft pressure. “Don’t move—this will only take a second.” He kissed me again, then stood to answer his phone.

  I smiled, “Take your time. I’m just going to check my messages.

  For a moment, I watched as Kevin stood near the adjacent chair naked. His face lit up as he listened to Sophie talk. My mind reeled. Why hadn’t I gone with him? Why hadn’t I realized how much easier my life would be with someone reserved to spending a quiet life raising a family. Kevin noticed I was staring and smiled, letting a strand of his blonde hair drop onto his face.

  I smiled back, then shifted my eyes down to the pile of clothes on the floor. My phone was lost in there somewhere. From the bed, I leaned over and began rummaging until a folded envelope caught my attention. I flipped it over, noticing my name printed on the front in Matteo’s handwriting. A rush of confusion flashed over me as I swiped the letter from the ground and gathered my phone. Surely, I wasn’t supposed to see whatever this was. At least not yet. I glanced up at Kevin still chatting away with Sophie, then made my way to the bathroom and ran the shower. What the fuck? Had Matteo written me a ‘just in case’ letter? As in ‘just in case’ I die give Hannah this letter. Shaking, I slid my finger into the tiny crack in the envelope, ripping it open carelessly, before unfolding the note.

  Bella,

  Before I met you I was an untrusting puppet doing what was expected of me. You opened my eyes to a world I didn’t think existed. You showed me the depths of who you are and made me feel things I never thought I could.

  When Kings Ranch took you, my life stopped, and all my focus went to getting you back to safety. But although I’ve got you from that basement—I don’t think we’re safe yet. I don’t think we can find safety until I can eradicate Kings Ranch or show them what kind of threat I can be.

  Don’t be upset that I didn’t call. I know you’ve been struggling with sleep and stress. I didn’t want to make things worse. That said I wanted to let you know that tonight I’m leaving for Italy. I’m dropping Jake in Ireland to do some field research, and I am gathering a go-bag at the ranch just in case.

  I know you have a hard time seeing it, but please remember that my absence now is so our future together can be safe. It’s definitely not so you can spend another two weeks with Kevin—because believe me—it’s eating me up inside that you’re with him. You are everything I hold close and I will always put that above everyone and everything else. I swear that to you with everything I’ve ever had. Besides, fucking you in that wedding dress is still on my bucket list.

  Love you always,

  Matteo

  Anger and guilt flooded my veins as I reread the letter. Matteo had given this to Kevin before he left—he hadn’t just taken off—he’d tried to
reach out and now he could die thinking I didn’t give a shit. I dialed his number, ignoring requests for me to call only the burner—no answer. I dialed again—nothing. My stomach turned, what was I thinking? The man I loved was out fighting for our freedom and I not only let him go alone, I slept with the guy he was trusting would keep me safe.

  And Kevin—Kevin had done all of this. He knew Matteo had written this letter. He knew me seeing it would make me feel better. I wanted to burst, but I had to calm down and think rationally—for once in my life I had to think without emotion.

  A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. “Hey, you were supposed to stay in bed!”

  I stuck my head behind the shower door to muffle my words as though I were showering. “Sorry, I’m starving. Can you run to the vending machine and grab me something?”

  Kevin agreed, and moments later the hotel door opened then slammed closed. I left the small bathroom, gathered my clothes off the floor near the bed, dressed, grabbed my purse, and left the room. If I’d realized the vending machine was only down the hall, I’d made a different plan.

  Kevin turned towards the sound of the slamming door. “Change your mind? They have Coke, water, Gatorade, M&M’s, or would you rather go out?”

  I was a terrible liar, so instead of coming up with something good, I just stood there, lifeless.

  “What’s wrong? Hannah… you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” His fake concern pissed me off, and soon my emotions had the best of me again.

  “Well… I just read the letter Matteo wrote for me before he left. The one you’ve been keeping from me.”

  Kevin’s face dropped, and he moved towards me from the vending machine without retrieving his drink. “You have been so stressed; all he does is confuse you. The doctor said I should make sure you stay as stress-free—”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re going to admit to it? Just like that? You let me sleep with you, knowing I was upset he hadn’t reached out before he left. You—"