“I love you, Jordan.”
Stefan closed his eyes. It seemed as if Jordan made love to him forever. Time stopped and it was just the two of them. Jordan rode him into the mattress. It was fucking wild, passionate and feral. Stefan wrapped his legs around Jordan’s waist and his orgasm convulsed him. He cried out as Jordan rode him through his own release before collapsing on top of him.
“I love you, Stefan. I always have.”
“This is just the beginning, Jordan. We have so many more years of love ahead of us. I can’t wait to spend them with you.”
“It seems like just yesterday …”
“Yes, it does.”
*~~~*
Matt invited Kyle over for dinner, figuring it would be private and Kyle wouldn’t freak out. He made sure everything was in place. Kyle arrived looking positively edible.
“Hey.” Kyle entered the apartment and grabbed Matt. He pushed him into the door and attacked his lips.
Matt couldn’t breathe. Jesus, Kyle could kiss! “Hi.”
“I missed you.” Kyle inhaled Matt’s shampoo and pulled him more tightly.
“It’s been two days, Kyle.”
“You didn’t miss me?” Kyle ran his hand to the front of Matt’s jeans. “Hmm, liar.”
“That’s not fair. You can’t come in here and lay a kiss like that on me and not expect me to get aroused.” Matt grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him hard. His hands inched up Kyle’s shirt and traced the planes of his smooth chest.
Kyle broke the kiss slowly. “I see what you mean.”
Matt dragged a finger down the front of Kyle’s jeans and smiled. “Now, we’re even.”
Kyle walked into the kitchen, picked up a lid and looked inside.
“You cooked?”
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t going to call KFC.” Matt smiled. “You hungry?”
Kyle walked back over to Matt, grabbed him, pushed him onto the dining room table and kissed him again. His hands made quick work of Matt’s shirt and he tossed it to the floor.
“Oh, yeah. I’m hungry,” Kyle growled against Matt’s lips.
“Holy shit,” Matt whispered.
Kyle undressed Matt quickly, picked him up and carried him to the couch. He lay Matt down and attacked his neck, his lips leaving a trail of seduction all the way up to his jaw and then finally to his mouth again. Matt was whimpering as Kyle trailed a hand down his abs to the waistband of his boxers. He glanced up at Matt with a devilish look.
“I want to hear you when I wrap my mouth around you,” Kyle whispered.
“Kyle —”
Matt’s hands were in his hair and his hip were rocking into Kyle’s mouth. He knew he was making a ridiculous amount of noise and he didn’t care. This felt so fucking amazing. Kyle’s tongue was working him as his hand stroked him. The sensation was unbelievable. His cock hit the back of Kyle’s throat and Kyle took him in again, increasing the pressure from his tongue and hand. Matt was going to lose it. His orgasm rose and he let loose with a loud cry, his hands pulling Kyle’s hair hard as his whole body shuddered from the force of coming.
Kyle was still sucking on his cock, swallowing and leaving light kisses on the sensitive head. He licked up Matt’s chest and caught his lips in a soft kiss.
“God, you’re sexy,” he breathed.
Matt was totally shocked and utterly speechless.
“You’re speechless? Mmm, I like it.” Kyle kissed him again.
“When… where…” Matt stammered.
“I did my homework. Google. It’s amazing what you can find out.” Kyle smiled. “I wanted this to be special.”
“I —” Matt shook his head. He was still coming down from his orgasm and his brain wasn’t quite back yet.
Kyle rubbed his lips over Matt’s. “You are so sexy when you come. The noises you make are better than in any porno I’ve watched!”
“That was, um —”
“Shh.” Kyle smiled and kissed him again. He pulled Matt into his arms and sat him in his lap. He ran his hands down his back and cupped his ass. “I absolutely love your ass.”
Matt’s head lolled back as Kyle kissed his neck, letting his tongue trail over the sensitive spot at the base of his neck. He nibbled and sucked it softly, leaving a mark. He grabbed Matt’s ass and kissed him again.
“What’s for dinner?” Kyle whispered.
“I forgot.”
Kyle laughed. They got up from the couch and Kyle handed Matt his clothes, watching as he got dressed.
“Let’s eat.” Kyle kissed him softly. “Then, maybe later …”
“What?”
“Surprise me.”
*~~~*
Josh and Paul went to see Casandra upon their return from Greece. She welcomed them into the office and looked them over.
“I’ve spoken with Mark and Tanner already. You’ve all had therapy together, so I know they won’t mind that I told you that. I was wondering when you two would finally come in. So, the wall finally came down.”
“I’m sorry — what?” Paul asked.
“You have to remember I have spoken to you both many times and even hypnotized you. You are here because you’re confused, isn’t that correct?”
“I just don’t understand how I could love someone so much and keep it hidden, even from myself,” Josh admitted.
“You and Paul — your friendship has meant everything to each other. You fell in love with one other at a very young age. But as time went on, you didn’t want to lose the bond you shared so you pushed it down as if it never existed. As far as you were concerned, you had never been in love. Josh, I asked you outright if you had ever been in love and you said only with Tanner. When I put you under, however, you spoke of Paul, as well.”
“Why didn’t I get to hear that?” Josh asked.
“You never asked. It’s as if you didn’t want to know. Paul was the same way.”
“What?” Paul said.
“You said the same thing as Josh under hypnosis — verbatim. You were friends who fell in love. Too scared to lose that bond, you pushed your love for Josh deep into your subconscious. Don’t get me wrong: you do love Mark, more than you ever loved anyone. That’s from your own mouth, under hypnosis.”
“Can we listen to the tapes?” Josh asked.
“Whenever you want.”
Paul stood up. “Now.”
Josh and Paul listened to each other’s tape. Casandra had been right. When love came up, Paul had spoken of Josh. He had discussed how he had fallen in love with Josh when they were kids. As time went on, it became so hard to hide that Paul pushed it so deep that he felt as if that’s all they had ever been — friends. Josh’s tape was much of the same. He had been so in love with Paul from the get-go that watching him date other people and sleep around had taken an emotional toll. He had to push his love for Paul down deep just to cope. When Paul had said he was getting married, Josh had been hit hard with his feelings.
“Oh God, Josh. I’m so sorry.” Paul took his hand.
“You didn’t know.” Josh smiled at him. “But I think you do know where you belong now.”
*~~~*
Tanner perched nervously on a stool at the bar at the warehouse club waiting for Josh. Mark was at the apartment talking to Paul, and Tanner had called Josh. He wanted to explain, he just didn’t know what he was going to say. He watched Josh walk in; he smiled when he saw Tanner. Josh crossed the room and took Tanner into his arms.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m doing okay. Look, Josh, I think there’s something you should know.”
“You slept with Mark that night, didn’t you?”
“No! We didn’t have sex. He told me he loved me and I … I realized I did love him; I always had. I feel like an ass, Josh. I said I would never cheat on you. God, you have no idea how sorry I am.”
Josh palmed his face. “I understand, Tanner. I really do. It’s not as if you did this maliciously. You had real feelings for Mark. I’m just as guilty.
I had feelings for Paul, and I hid them away. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts. I love you, Tanner. I really do.”
Tanner hugged him hard. “I just want you to be happy, Josh, and I want us to stay close. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Josh hugged Tanner close to him. He did love Tanner, more than he thought, and after seeing Paul deny how much he was hurting, he knew Mark was feeling the same way. “I think we need to talk, Tanner.”
“About what?”
“I think you know.”
*~~~*
Matt and Kyle were still hiding their relationship after three months. Matt was trying to be patient but it was proving very difficult. He would be close to Kyle, only to have him move away when someone saw them together.
Matt was on his way to class one day when arms came around him from behind.
“You’d better be Kyle or we’re going to have a problem.”
“It is Kyle,” Kyle whispered in his ear.
“Hey.” Matt turned and Kyle pulled him into his arms. “I missed you.”
Matt relaxed in Kyle’s arms. It took two seconds before Kyle forcefully pushed him away and said, “I’m not like that; if you want to stay friends, I suggest you stop doing that.”
Matt was shocked. He saw a group of Kyle’s friends out of the corner of his eye. That was it. Matt had had it. He turned, walked away and went to class. He avoided Kyle for the rest of the day. He found Kyle waiting by his car after his last class.
“I’m sorry. They were looking at us and I —”
“It won’t happen again.” Matt threw his books in the car. “I’m done.”
“What? Wait, Matt, please?”
“No. I’m sorry, Kyle. We could really have something special but I can’t wait for you forever and you really hurt me today. Having you push me away sucks; having you push me away and treat me like a pariah in front of a crowd is inexcusable. You’re ashamed of me and yourself. I can’t be out in the open with you, and the only thing I want is for people to know how much I care. That doesn’t matter when you’re ashamed to let them know it.”
“I’m trying, Matt, please! I’m really falling for you,” Kyle cried.
“But it’s not enough, is it? I’m falling for you, too. You have no idea how much this is hurting me. But I can’t, Kyle. I just can’t.”
“I’ll do whatever you want — just name it! Please, Matt. I can’t lose you.”
“You can’t lose what you’re not even willing to have.” Matt got in his car, drove for a while and then pulled over. The tears came, slowly at first, and then he sobbed. He was falling in love with Kyle, but now it was over.
*~~~*
Josh and Paul were at dinner and Josh shook his head. Paul kept staring at his cell phone, willing it to ring.
“Oh my God, just call him,” he finally sighed in exasperation.
“He’s not taking my calls. He’s not home when I go see him. He doesn’t want to see me, Josh.”
“Since when has that ever stopped Paul Greystone? Jesus, you’re being a pussy.”
“That’s fucked up, Josh.”
“No, you’re fucked up. I’m your best friend, so let me be honest with you. Fight for him. Get him back, Paul, because you are not you right now.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? Throw him over my shoulder like a caveman?”
“Actually, that sounds exactly like something you’d do! You love him. Fight, Paul.” Josh stood up. “Get him back. You’re not really living without him; you’re just a shell. Man up, bitch.” Josh smiled and mussed Paul’s hair. “Now, I’m off to go throw Tanner over my shoulder.” Josh winked.
“Bitch.” Paul smiled.
“Dick.”
~*~
Tanner’s mother answered the door when Josh arrived.
“Thank God it’s you, Josh!”
“Is something wrong?” Josh began to panic.
“Tanner’s not feeling well, and you always know how to make him feel better.”
Josh ran up the stairs and burst into Tanner’s room. “Are you okay?”
Tanner was on his bed, curled into a ball. “Josh?”
“What’s wrong, baby?” Josh rushed to Tanner’s side.
“I don’t feel so good.”
Josh felt his forehead. “How long have you had a fever?”
“Don’t know.”
“I’ll be right back.” Josh called downstairs. “How long has he had a fever?”
“He still has one?”
“Yeah, he’s burning up.”
Mrs. McKinley hurried up the stairs. “I gave him something two hours ago. I checked on him and he looked asleep.”
“Shit.” Josh coaxed Tanner to lie on his back. “Where does it hurt, baby?”
“Right here.” Tanner put Josh’s hand on his stomach.
“Does it hurt when I press here?”
Tanner moaned in pain.
“Fuck, it’s your appendix!” Josh picked him up and carried him downstairs. “He needs to go to the hospital now. Follow me there.”
Josh was trying to watch the road but he kept an eye on Tanner, too. His breathing was increasingly labored and Josh was really starting to worry.
“Baby, talk to me.” Josh smoothed Tanner’s hair back; he was on fire.
“It hurts, Josh! So bad,” Tanner cried.
“I know, baby, hang on. We’re almost there.” Josh floored it.
He ran into the emergency room carrying Tanner. Josh pushed his way through the waiting room. “Get the FUCK out of my way! We need a doctor, NOW!”
Jordan was working his weekly ER shift, heard the yelling and came running. A panicked Josh held Tanner in his arms. “Oh, fuck.”
“Dr. Youngblood, help him! Please.” Tanner was burning up in his arms.
“What is it?”
“I think it’s his appendix.”
Jordan felt Tanner’s forehead then felt his stomach; Tanner screamed. “Josh, you need to let go of him. They’ll take good care of Tanner.”
Josh let them take Tanner and followed them as far as he could. “I love you.”
“Always loved you.” Tanner’s eyes closed.
The door closed and Josh fell to his knees.
“He’ll be okay, Josh.” Jordan placed a hand on Josh’s shoulder, trying to soothe him.
“He has to be.” Josh glanced up. Pain lanced through his chest and he grabbed it, fighting to catch his breath.
“Oh shit! Josh, look at me! You need to calm down.”
“Can’t … breathe.”
Jordan got down on his knees and took Josh’s face in his hands. “Breathe slowly. You won’t be any good to Tanner if you’re in the hospital, too.”
It took time, but Jordan finally got him calmed. They took Tanner into surgery immediately as his mother completed paperwork at the nurses’ station.
“You sure you don’t want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer, Josh?” Jordan smiled at him.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It was pretty easy to figure out.” Josh eyed Tanner’s mom. “She okay?
“She’s fine. How are you?”
“Scared. I mean, I know it’s a routine procedure but he was in so much pain.”
“It’s Tanner.” Jordan smiled. “I get it.”
Josh ran a hand through his hair and Jordan noticed all the nurses staring at him, practically drooling.
“Don’t you have something to do?” He cocked a brow at them. “Don’t you all have something to do?” They all giggled and went back to work.
“How long do you think he’ll be in surgery?” Josh found a chair and finally sat down.
“Not too long. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something, okay?”
“Okay.” He dropped his face into his hands, elbows propped on his knees.
“It’s hitting you isn’t it?”
“What?” He looked up, distracted.
“You love him, but the first time you still kept your distance. You never fully let him in. Just now, I could
see it all over your face. You’re finally completely in love.”
“It’s scary as hell.”
“Yeah. But it’s so worth it.” Jordan put his arm around Josh and squeezed.
~*~
Tanner woke up slowly. When his eyes focused, he noticed Josh in the chair by the bed. “You are so gorgeous.”
“Oh, thank God!” Josh palmed his face. “Do you need anything, babe?”
Tanner sighed. “I missed that.”
“What?”
“You, calling me ‘baby’ and ‘babe’.” Tanner smiled and brought Josh’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “I missed your hands, too.”
Josh kissed the inside of Tanner’s hand.
“I missed your lips, too,” Tanner whispered.
Josh leaned over and kissed Tanner softly. “That better?”
“No, not yet.”
Josh cupped Tanner’s nape and brought their lips together in a gentle kiss. He backed away and placed a kiss on Tanner’s nose.
“How about now?”
“Much better.”
Josh trailed his finger down Tanner’s cheek. “You scared me.”
“You saved me.” Tanner threaded their fingers together.
“I can’t stand to see you in pain.”
“Will you get in with me?” Tanner pulled the blankets back.
Josh took off his shoes and got in bed with Tanner. Tanner settled into him and he sighed, he had missed this. Josh brushed his fingers through Tanner’s hair.
“I love it when you do that,” Tanner sighed.
“I missed you,” Josh whispered. He lifted Tanner’s face to look into his eyes.
“I missed you, too.” Tanner caressed Josh’s cheek. He pulled him in close and kissed him. Josh’s mouth opened to his and Tanner’s entire body broke out in a wave of goosebumps. His heart monitor went off and Josh pulled away.
“You okay?”
“I missed this so much.”
“Mr. McKinley.”
Tanner glanced up to see a nurse standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Josh shifted on the bed to look as well and her mouth dropped open.
“I …”
“Can I stay? Please? I’ll be quiet and I promise not to kiss him.” Josh gave her his best smile and shamelessly batted the irresistible Reynolds eyes.
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