by Tanith Lee
‘How can you? If I tell you how you yourself are able to form words, you will not understand one sentence in a hundred. The same if I try to inform you about us. Ustareth bred us. We are hers. One of several races that are.’
‘She isn’t God, even if she plays God.’
‘No, she is Ustareth,’ said Old Mother Shark, as if that was enough.
The Sharkians led me away. And by tonight, we shall be there—
be there.
At least when They put us ashore, I’ll be with him.
Why was I afraid to write that? I shall write it again to make sure it’s true.
I’LL BE WITH HIM.
THE SHINING SHORE
The navy blue shark ship drew away.
I watched her or it as she or it did so. Her sky-scraping fifteen storeys seemed to carve a thin invisible line along the sky.
It was just after dawn. Everything still mostly palest gold-yellow, like that wine we drank at the House, with Pattoo and Groother. Before we knew how complicated everything was going to get. Again.
But it was a nice dawn.
They had waited until the light came, to put me off ashore.
They sent me, with my companions, in a sort of boat. The Sharkians didn’t come. The boat made its own way to the land. And when we’d got out, it went away again. It had neither oars nor sail.
So, here we are.
I turn and look at my two friends.
‘Should I have made more fuss?’ I ask them.
How many times have I asked this in the course of my insane ‘adventures’? How many times have I done it, and got nowhere, or not done it and wondered if I would have got somewhere if I had?
Anyway, neither of these friends of mine has any comment to make.
I kept asking myself too if They might change their minds, come back. But no, They haven’t. And now the ship called also Old Mother Shark is just a little dark dot on the edge of the wine-yellow, getting-blue sea.
So.
So …
I am so angry – and so lost.
Being on this – place – is like what I feel inside, really.
Thu wags his tail, and then leaves off, seeing I’m not going to throw a stick or encouragingly say, Yes, go for a run along this charming iron-hard beach.
Mirreen just waits patiently.
And I think of Argul, and I wonderwonderwonder where he is.
The night before, I’d been going mad, waiting for us to get to the Continent. I’d also tried to be practical, now there’s no back-up from Power jewels or Yinyay. I’d said to Them I wanted journey-food and water. The Sharkians went No, no. And now No, no really meant No, because They wouldn’t give me anything at all, and wouldn’t tell me where I could get anything.
That night’s Posk was different. It was only me and ten Sharkians in one glass box. All the other boxes empty. Hopeless to ask where were all my friends? ‘They are well,’ was all I endlessly got. So instead I began to stuff food away in pockets and a bag, for tomorrow. (I knew Argul would have thought of this too, and perhaps Ngarbo would. But if they weren’t getting any Posk-dinner, they might not have the chance.) They watched me do this, and They looked – sorry for me, as if I were a truly pathetic being who’d missed the Whole Point.
No doubt I am and have.
Anyhow, armed with these rations, I then haunted the open deck (the seventh one I think, I couldn’t get any of the lifts to work at all, or would have gone higher). I was trying to see where we were going, to confront the land when it appeared.
In the dark, with the moon not up yet, it was of course invisible.
The weather was calm. I could smell sea, and air. Then I could smell marzipan and oranges – that must have been something left over from Posk. Below, on the lower decks, above me on the upper ones, the Sharkians came and went.
Then the moon did come up, and still I couldn’t see any land. And then, I saw it.
Long, curved, glimmering. Impossible to pick out detail. A coast, and then cliffs, it seemed, rising up behind. Very – totally vast.
They anchored about midnight, and some miles out.
Then I said were we going to be put off there, now, and again got a logical answer: No, at dawn.
I considered if this was being very fair, or some other plot.
(See how I think now. It isn’t surprising, is it.)
I said again, Let me see Argul.
Yes, yes, They said. Which still meant No, no.
I went to sleep in the end, so tired I could hardly stand up, curled on a softish bundle of some sharky stuff or other on the deck. Wish I’d done that before – it was much better than the water-slot mattress. (I had also tried again to find the others, and failed, as you see. Then in my dreams I did find them, but none of them would talk to me, they walked away. Argul did this in the dream too.)
I woke up again at first light.
Going to the rail, I craned out, and saw the land. It was like a long curved rim of a steel plate, mistily glowing.
Was it distance that made it look so regular?
Sharkians came and offered me breakfast (which is called Grob, though I don’t know why I bother to note this now). I shook my head, just drank some water. Which was stupid – it had been another opportunity to grab some Grob for the journey. From the look, I was going to need it, we all were, ashore.
Then I stood about, waiting for the others to come out, getting a bit excited. I thought, they’re late. I thought, We’ll be able to speak to each other even before we get put in the boats or whatever.
No one appeared, however. Only Sharkians going up and down on Their fat fins.
And then some came up again and the boat was ready, so I went with Them to this outside lift thing, which had a boat in it. But no one was in the boat.
‘Where are my friends? Where is my husband?’
‘Everything is all right,’ said the eight Sharkians standing beside me.
‘No, it isn’t all right. Where is Argul?’
‘Argul is well. There is no need for you to worry.’
I turned and gripped one of Them. Have you ever had to try to grip a dampish, thirteen foot high shark? It’s not easy. My hands slid and slipped and I couldn’t really get any of it to stay in my grasp, but I managed to maul it a bit and it made distressed noises. I thought too late, thank heavens it wasn’t one of the ones with Power jewels.
‘TELL ME!!’
They told me, even the one I was grappling with, that I had nothing to be worried about.
It was then that four other sharks brought Thu and Mirreen along the deck, and I broke off and the one I’d grabbed got away from me.
(Apart from the jewels, They’re peaceful. They don’t ever hit back. Or have They forgotten how? One chomp of those teeth, and I really wouldn’t have had any worries.)
I ran across to Thu, who leapt at me. We had a touching reunion. Mirreen I stroked and patted. They were both in excellent condition, as I’d already seen on other days.
The Sharkians now wanted all of us to get in the boat, and I resisted, and so Thu resisted, and Mirreen reared.
‘I won’t go anywhere,’ I shrieked, ‘without the others!’
Then I got an actual reply.
‘They have already crossed to shore.’
‘Wh – aa – tt?’
‘Last night,’ said the now-twelve Sharkians. ‘All have gone to land but you.’
‘Why not me?’
‘You slept.’
‘Then why didn’t you wake me—’
‘You are awake now.’
I didn’t believe this was the reason. Or are They really so crazy it is?
I made sure I hadn’t misunderstood. Hadn’t. After all the land was where we were all supposed to go, as per Her instructions.
At last, I got in the boat with Thu and Mirreen.
Then it was lowered by the lift out over and down the sides of all the decks, into the water, and the sun was about to come up.
I just k
ept hoping the others would have stayed together – and stayed to wait for me. (Unlike in my dreams.)
The sun was rising as we moved forward, over on the left. The water spangled and parted before the boat.
The shore came close and closer.
What is it made of? It soon looked entirely like a soft-shining greyish metal. I expected this to change as we got nearer, but it didn’t and hasn’t.
When the sea grew shallow, I could see a sloping shelf of the metalness below, under the water. I couldn’t see fish there, or seaweed, or anything like that.
The boat ground on the shore.
Which was empty.
‘This is the wrong place,’ I said, trying to sound reasonable. ‘You must find the right one.’
The boat didn’t talk back, although all things were possible, by now. Nor could I make it change direction. I tried everything I could think of.
Then Thu jumped out on the metal plate of shore. Mirreen was getting restless again – and I felt it too, as if the mechanical boat were trying to force us off – and then it did. It started this shuddering, almost bucking like a horse itself. So then I had to get Mirreen quickly up the thoughtfully-provided ramp, and out, before she got hurt. I then meant to turn and ‘reason’ with the boat again. But the moment I was out, it was off. It had been useless anyway. It must have had its ‘orders’. It had doubtless brought me exactly where it was supposed to. Because the Sharkians were always awkward, but They were never inefficient.
I was meant to be here alone.
The boat disappeared quickly away and back into the ship’s side, swallowed by the lowest deck.
I looked up the metal beach at the rising metal cliffs shining mildly in the morning.
Should I walk along the shore, see if I could find anyone? But the slightly-curving land went round to the horizon on both sides, miles of it, it seemed. And since it was completely featureless, anything on it would have been obvious at once, and nothing was there.
I began to see it all. The Sharkians had separated us from the start. Now each of us has been brought, secretly from the others, I think, and each to a different place on the coast. We are all far enough from each other, we won’t find a trace.
That must be it – that is it. I know.
And so here I sit, and now the dot of the Shark ship has become itself a speck and vanished.
Strangely, the sun on this metal plate isn’t getting agonizingly hot. It’s only pleasantly warm. And the little wavelets cream on the shore as they would on any decent beach.
Thu and Mirreen have been fed, those sharks did tell me that. And I’m not hungry. So the best thing is going to be – the only thing worth doing under these circumstances. We must find a way to climb the cliffs and see what lies beyond.
THROUGH THE WALL
To me, it looked as if there was no way up at all. The metal surface ran in for perhaps about a quarter mile, and then the metal cliffs rose sheer from it.
Really, they weren’t cliffs. More – walls?
I led Mirreen, and Thu padded along at my side. I was very glad they were with me. And I kept talking to them, off and on.
‘What we need is a path, a way up.’
By then we’d got to the foot of the cliffs. I stood staring up and up. No, not cliffs. They were probably walls. Very, very high. And totally smooth.
I thought, does anyone else ever come here? Proper shipping, blown off course in storms, trying to make landfall here, getting discouraged by the metal and going away?
Thu barked.
‘Hello, Thu.’
He shook his ruff at me, and went bounding off to the left.
‘Thu – no. Come back—’
I realized it would be pretty hard to lose him on the empty shore, but even so—
He’s not as obedient as Hulta dogs are. I suppose he isn’t a Hulta dog. He kept going.
Hurrying after him, Mirreen and I found he had come to a different area of cliff/wall. It looked rougher and had two long, almost pillars, side by side, rising up about twenty feet.
And then the pillars moved. They drew slowly apart. And there between them was a high slim door.
‘It’s a door,’ I told Thu and Mirreen.
Thu looked impressed. He flag-waved his tail.
So I walked right up to the door. It was closed, of course, and made of a sort of translucent greenish something. It felt silky to the touch. And though almost see-through, I couldn’t, squinting, see anything through it. Nor was there anything on it, like a handy doorknob or even door-knocker. The whole personality of this door was, See, here I am, showing myself to you – and you can’t get me to open, can you?
I glanced at my ring. The diamond that means so much because Argul gave it me, and because it has twice saved my life! But that sometimes, like now, I hate, too, because she made it.
A Power ring with no power, or none of the New Power Ustareth now uses.
‘Well, this is thrilling.’
Thu had sat down. He was looking at me, wondering why I didn’t open the door so we could go through.
‘Sorry, I don’t think I can get it open—’
The green door opened.
Just like THAT.
Was it so straightforward? It just needed to hear that one word ‘open’ – and it would?
Thu and I stared through the opened door.
What was there, starting only a few feet beyond the door, was another wall of metal, only this one wasn’t the same. It humped and curved over. And, despite still going up as high as the outer wall-cliffs (which was about three hundred feet, I’d say) this had a path running up over it. The path was white stone, or looked like it. In fact, all this was like something natural, a hill with a sloping roadway.
It should be possible to ride up the Road to the top of the Hill.
I tried the road-surface first, to make sure it would be all right for Mirreen. It was. So I mounted up, and rode easily up the slope, with Thu trotting behind.
What did I anticipate at the summit? I wasn’t sure. What I found, when we got there, was this: a plateau.
This was flat as a table-top though, and white like the ‘stone’ path. It was laid with paving, each marble-looking slab faultlessly regular and about six feet on each side. And that – was it. This paved table stretched away and away to left and right along the Hill-top, and away and away and away in front, until it melted into the sky.
I turned, and looked back then, the way we’d come.
No shock to see the green door, far down at the base of the wall, had now 1) closed, and 2) disappeared from view.
Otherwise there was the crest of the outer cliff/wall, some distance off now because of the Hill’s slope, and over that all I could see was the blue ocean, miles of it, and as empty as the cloudless blue sky.
Had everyone else done a climb like this, up to this plateau-table? Or were there different obstacles in the spots they’d been taken to?
I feel very removed from them. (Yes, from Argul, too.) Is that odd? It’s only that now, I really am on my own.
But there was still nowhere to go but forward, so that’s what I did. The paving was so good, I even set Mirreen to a fast trot to match Thu’s.
(He ran with his nose down, trying to pick up some scent or other. But to me, all I could smell was the faint tang of the sea, and as we went on, that faded.)
I kept the sun on my left, so my forward direction was still south. I could have gone off east or west, but that seemed only likely to keep me going round the outside of the wall. Unless of course it didn’t circle all or most of the whole landmass – but Ustareth’s manner of doing things always seems Huge in some way.
The left-hand sun got higher. Soon it began to be hot. The air burned with its own light, and the marble or whatever glared, though not as badly as real white marble in direct sunlight.
There was absolutely nothing on the paved plateau but for our three figures, and the increasingly short shadows we threw.
I start
ed to think about the desert I’d first escaped into. The dusty, blistered treks Nemian and I had to make.
And the plateau didn’t change. And it showed no sign of coming to an end.
It was almost noon, the sun getting to its worst, when a tree appeared at the horizon! (Look Thu! A tree!)
Unsensibly perhaps I sent Mirreen flying at a canter at this tree, and Thu, yards of tongue hanging out (a wonder he didn’t trip over it) cantered with us. And we reached the tree and—
‘What is that?’
It wasn’t a tree. But also, it was.
Like the paving, the Tree was of white marble-stuff. In shape it was like a tree, resembling a tall and spreading cedar, but it had no leaf-needles. Purely put there for decoration then, how quaint.
Then the Tree did this very clever and helpful thing. (The first of three.)
First, out from all the overhead spread boughs, opened these wonderful kind of sunshades. They were all tones of turquoise or hyacinth blue or palest plum, and the moment they got between us and the sun, there fell coolness and relief.
The next thing was a fountain-spray out of the Tree’s ‘trunk’. It looked like clear water and Thu thought so too—
‘No – wait—’ I tumbled off Mirreen and tried to get hold of him. No, he really is not obedient. (Another one who won’t be a slave). He was already lapping up the water where it formed a pool on the ground. He seemed to find it refreshing, and when I hauled him off, just went dancing round the Tree and started again on the other side. It did seem to be water, tasted like it and so on. So – I too drank some. (Like the worst kind of idiot in a story, but I was gasping for a drink, and had been trying to save the pitiful amount I’d stored from the last Posk and Grob.) In fact the water tasted very clean, and sweet. In the end I let Mirreen too have what she wanted from the pool.
When we stopped, the fountain did. But then something else happened.
I gazed in disbelief as ripe yellow fruits, rather like peaches, began to bud out on the Tree’s lower boughs, grow large, and then hang there, filling the air with a delicious peachy-orangy scent.
They might be the trap, might be poisonous.