by Ella Edon
"Lord Bowmount."
"Lady Bowmount." She had been in her bedchamber for so long, perhaps crying, for her eyes were so red. He wondered what the past few days had brought her. What words could make a Lady such as she cry so much?
Unable to stop himself, he asked. "Are you well?"
As expected, her answer was challenging. "Do I not look well?"
He smiled. "You look well enough, but as I have not seen you in several days, I thought to enquire after your health."
"And what does that even mean, Lord Bowmount?"
"That you are not completely well...?" He grinned. He found her struggling to hold her smile. It warmed his heart that he could make her smile.
"I am well. A bit stressed. But I'll pull through." Her words bore a weight. One he knew was so heavy. But he did not have the courage to ask her what bothered her. For he knew she would not respond. But he wanted her to know that he cared. That he was there for her.
"You look a bit out of it as well, Lord Bowmount. Are you well?"
He pressed his lips in a thin line. And he thought of telling her about Lady Victoria. But he was not sure she was in the right state to hear what he had to say. And he was not sure she would appreciate his intrusion in matters that had to do with her relationship with Lady Victoria.
"Are you done going through the estate records?" she asked.
He was taken aback by her sudden question. Did this have to do with the past few days? Was it something that was said to her? She cast her gaze down almost immediately and her shoulders slouched. Something was wrong with her, and he knew it. Whatever she was going through was not easy. He wished she could let him in.
"Lady Bowmount." He stepped forward. He was closer to her now, only a few inches away from her. They were not too close, but just close enough. Perhaps what she was going through had to do with his arrival and Victor's death among a whole lot of other things.
"The world changes constantly," he began. "And we may not like the sudden change, but we can adapt. And we can make light of every new situation, irrespective of how it comes about."
She gazed up at him with eyes that were impossibly blue. Her eyes made him want to see the sea. He wondered what little difference her eyes had from the sea. But they were so beautiful. He knew he should have stepped back, and walked away, but he was unable to. Standing before her, he wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that she was safe. That he would be there for her. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, and to tell her that he saw right through her mask.
She stepped aside and the spell broke. He felt loneliness sweep through him. He did not turn to look at her. He did not want to. He heard the sound of her shoes as she descended the stairs, leaving him in silence.
* * *
Arthur bit his lip as he stood by staircase, doing nothing, only looking into the distance. He no longer felt like he needed to sleep at that very moment. He was smiling and he knew it. The conversation with Lady Bowmount was one in which she had almost opened up. It was as though everything was finally slipping into place.
He walked down the stairs and headed outside, where the courtyard was empty. He was relieved at that. He needed some time alone.
"Lord Bowmount," a voice called beside him. He turned to see Gerald standing beside him, a smile on his lips. Easily, Gerald fell into step beside him.
"Amelia had informed me that you were off to take a rest. What brings you down here again, My Lord?"
Arthur smiled. “Take a seat, Gerald," he said, sitting down.
The coachman shook his head. "It is improper that I sit with you, My Lord."
"I demand it."
Gerald shook his head slowly, about to disagree again. But Arthur fixed him with a stare. Gerald sighed and succumbed to Arthur's request. Arthur leaned in and nodded at him. "Tell me, Gerald. What is it you know about Lady Bowmount?"
Gerald raised both brows. "Lady Bowmount?"
Arthur knew he sounded foolish and unreasonable, asking a servant about the lady in such a manner. He knew it was dangerous to do so, seeing as rumors were already flying about. But he wanted to impress the lady and he was lost.
He knew how much the servants gossiped. He knew that the walls of Bowmount Hall listened and spoke. He knew the servants knew everything that went on in household. Surely, Gerald knew something, and Arthur was curious about everything. He needed to know.
"My Lord..."
"Whatever you say to me shall be for my ears only, Gerald. I shall tell no one of this. You have my word."
Gerald sighed. He nodded and spoke. "But in what way, My Lord? What do I need to tell you about Lady Bowmount?"
"You have lived here for long, what —" He stopped and shook his head. He was about to ask Gerald what the lady liked. How she had been with his cousin, Victor. But that would be ridiculous of him. He diverted the question. "I am worried about Lady Bowmount. Do you... perhaps know if she wishes to be wed again? Do you think it right that we accept suitors for her here?"
Gerald shrugged. "I fear not," he said, then he leaned in. "My Lord, her conversation with the Duchesses of York and Richmond a few days back suggests that the lady does not want that."
Arthur felt like he was prying, but he was suddenly curious. "What was said?"
Gerald withdrew then. "I am not completely informed of the details. Darlene was quite brief. She heard very little. The duchesses also advised her to leave so no one would question her dignity, My Lord. But the lady said she didn't want to be wed again. And — " he stopped himself then. There was something of great importance that he held back. He shook his head. "I've said far too much, My Lord. It is not proper. I am afraid I shall say no more. This is where I draw the line. "
Arthur understood what he meant. He understood that there was quite the risk with what he had done. But he appreciated it. Now he knew more of the situation. He knew why she had been so down. Her argument with her best friends had brought her spirits low. There had been a great difference when she smiled at him. He would find a way to help her in this situation. They needed to be on the same level of understanding. He hoped that their conversation not so long ago meant that she was opening up to him. Perhaps she was finally accepting her feelings for him.
He could only hope.
Chapter Fifteen
The frantic beat of her heart against her chest was inescapable, inevitable. She had locked herself up in her bedchamber for the better part of the past few days. She needed time alone, to think of what to do, to get her life back. With Victor gone, it was on her to raise Victoria. In a world where situations were unfair to all women, even highborn ladies such as herself, she needed to do something. It was then she realized that the Dowager Marchioness had been right. The only way was to be properly acquainted with Lord Bowmount. She needed him on her side, more than ever.
She braced herself as she stumbled into the salon, her eyes darting around. The Dowager Marchioness sat at the corner, she rocked in the chair as she knitted. Her eyes lazily met with Katherine's.
"My apologies, My Lady, I had no idea you were here," Katherine murmured.
The Dowager Marchioness nodded. "I am here. Sit down, Katherine."
Katherine obeyed. The Dowager Marchioness nodded at her. "How are you?"
"Well, thank you."
"Is there something you would like to discuss?”
Katherine stared at the Dowager Marchioness. She moved her hands together easily, the wool twisting into right places, rocking calmly.
"There's nothing of importance I would like to discuss."
The Dowager Marchioness nodded once. "You must not allow all of this to get to you. It will pass."
Katherine did not feel as though it would all pass. She felt as though it was eternal, the feeling of losing so much in so little time. However, she did not tell the Dowager Marchioness what she was feeling. She simply nodded and said nothing further. The Dowager Marchioness smiled at her.
"When my son said he was to be wed to you, I was astonished. But I wa
s thrilled. Oui. Because I thought that perhaps being wed to the daughter of the Duke would make things better for him." The Dowager Marchioness laughed sarcastically. "When my husband died, I was angered by his death. And Anne bore the brunt of it all."
Katherine was not new to the story; she was also present through it all. Anne, her stepdaughter, had faced a lot of hatred from her. Katherine had not liked the Dowager Marchioness then, but through her marriage with Victor, the lady had been silent. Now, she was opening up and Katherine was not sure why. But she listened.
"I was in pain, and I drove my pain into anger. Before I knew it, I hated people who did not deserve it. I lost my son's love, and I was fighting for something that could no longer be. I found it hard to accept the situation of my life. I was stuck blaming and wishing that, when I truly started to lose my mind. I was too proud to accept my fall with grace."
Katherine recalled the bad deeds that the Dowager Marchioness had done. She never knew that she regretted it so deeply. But why was the Dowager Marchioness telling this to her? Why now?
"Katherine, do not let you pain turn to anger. Do not misdirect your feelings." She spoke freely, letting her French accent linger in every word.
"Mademoiselle Guerrero brought me to England for a ball, right after my debut. That was when I met my husband. I was quite young, you see, but I was happy to be married off to him. I fell in love with him, and when he broke my heart, I was too hardened to sit around and cry. I think my hate began then. What I am trying to say is, change will always come, but we must learn to adjust to the change, every time."
Her blonde hair was a darker shade than Katherine's, and Katherine saw herself only noticing this for the first time. She stared at her blonde hair until everything the Dowager Marchioness said sank in. She remembered that Lord Bowmount had said the exact same thing about change. She hoped that with time, she would adapt to this change. She hoped that the change she truly wanted would come sooner than she expected. With a smile, she nodded at the Dowager Marchioness. "Thank you, My Lady."
* * *
Breakfast had been easier, with her focus being only on Victoria. Her daughter, however, paid no heed to her. She ate quietly and when breakfast was over, she left immediately, Amelia following behind her very closely.
Her comfort came from Lord Bowmount, who gave her a reassuring smile.
Deciding that it was the best moment to set her plan in motion, she rose and nodded to him. "Lord Bowmount, are you done looking over the accounts?"
He laughed. "Not quite, My Lady."
"I would be more than pleased to be of assistance. If you wish it."
His eyes narrowed for a split second before he rose with a smile. She rose as well. He stood aside and allowed her to walk past him. He offered her his arm. She slipped her hand into the bend of his elbow. Then together, they walked to the study. When they entered, Lord Bowmount left the door ajar. She was thankful for that simple gesture. He knew how improper it was for even the servants to see them behind closed doors.
Katherine sat down in one of the chairs. Lord Bowmount took the seat opposite her. The ledgers were no longer dusty. He had spent days reading through them and seeing the records Victor had left behind. He'd of course, had them cleaned, so he didn't have to inhale dust as he read. Katherine had been aware of all of this. She kept a close eye on him even as she had some time to herself. She smiled up at him and began to show him the records as well as explain what were necessary expenses in the coming months. She talked about the funds spent in the past, and what they had been used for.
"Before Victor traveled, he hired a new cook. Our old one could no longer work for us," Katherine said. She pointed at the record to show the date and amount of money that had been set aside for her retirement.
As Katherine walked him through, she realized that Victor had made the records easy to understand, so that it shouldn't be confusing at all for someone who wanted to read through them. Line by line, she showed him almost everything, starting from the day Victor started getting the house in shape and appointing servants.
Katherine felt embarrassed, knowing that he had also recorded how her dowry was spent. She didn't want Lord Bowmount to know about that. She didn't want him thinking that it was why she was staying, for her dowry. Which was part of the reason, but there was more.
Lord Bowmount nodded attentively, seeing only what she chose to show. He didn't need to know everything, especially this. Which was why she refused to tell him about the business deal Victor had been pursuing in India. The thought of him also thinking of pursuing that same business left her numb. The deal was a very attractive one. It required him to go over there to see to it. She wouldn't be able to bear it if anything happened.
The book slipped from her hand and nearly fell on her. Dust swirled in the air, causing her nose to tickle. Lord Bowmount rose quickly and caught the piled paperwork swiftly, midair, while he froze over her. She found herself still. Her right hand had come to rest in his. His blue eyes searched hers, they were calm and comforting and bright. His brows were creased in what she recognized as worry and concern. He was breathing so fast, like he had rushed to get to her. Chills ran up her spine and her heartbeat increased. It became worse when she glanced at where their hands were clasped. His touch was warm and she wanted him to keep holding her that way. Was it wrong? She found his touch comforting. She wanted more.
She swallowed hard. Perhaps it was because she missed Victor. There was no way... No. She just missed her late husband, and the touch of a man. Nothing more. She gently slipped her hand from his grasp. He blinked and rose to his full height. Gently, he placed the paperwork down. "Are you alright?"
She nodded. "Yes, Lord Bowmount."
He smiled at her. And oh, how her heart lurched when their eyes met. "I'm glad."
Katherine nodded mutely, unsure of what to say. He sat back down, and she closed her eyes briefly to sigh. When she rose her head again, Gerald stood by the study door. "My Lady, Lord Bowmount."
She watched him look between them and then nod at Lord Bowmount. "May I have a word with you, My Lord?"
Lord Bowmount looked at her, and then back at Gerald. "It's alright to speak here, Gerald. It's alright, go on."
Gerald cocked his head to the side. Lord Bowmount nodded at him. Katherine stared at him, a little bit amazed. Did he trust her already? What if what Gerald had to say was quite confidential? She didn't want to impose.
"I'll take my leave." She rose.
Lord Bowmount turned swiftly to her. "No, My Lady, I think not. Gerald had something to say and I'd like for you to hear it."
Katherine started to reject his offer, but he was insistent. "Lady Bowmount, I believe that if we all are to live here in peace, then we must be open with one another. What Gerald has to say can be heard by both of us."
Katherine sighed. "Alright."
Gerald nodded reluctantly. "My Lord, it's about the message you sent me two days ago. Mr. Herondale has returned. And he'd like to sign the paperwork so you may begin immediately."
Katherine creased her brows. "Paperwork? Pray tell, for what?"
Lord Bowmount turned to her. "For my office."
Katherine nodded slowly as realization hit her. She had tried to sabotage this before. She wondered if it would be to her advantage if he was mostly away from Bowmount Hall. Perhaps it would be. Or was he testing her, to find out where her loyalty lay? Perhaps he was. She would ask the Dowager Marchioness for advice later on the issue, but for now, she needed to act like she was in support of whatever he did. She forced a smile and nodded. "Oh, I recall. That's good, such good news."
He tilted his head and stared at her. Then slowly, he smiled. She relaxed and nodded at him. "Perhaps you should go see Mr. Herondale immediately, to conclude this business."
Lord Bowmount raised both brows. "You... like the idea of me getting an Office in Old Street? It does not annoy you?"
Katherine shook her head. "It is what you want, My Lord."
&nbs
p; His eyes met hers when she uttered those words. She felt as though if it were possible, his gaze would have pulled her out of the seat and towards him. His eyes ravished her. And she liked every bit of it. She swallowed hard and bit her lip to stop from smiling.
He shook his head and then, he nodded. "Of course, but that will have to wait. I'll go there tomorrow, but for now, we must get somewhere with the estate paperwork."
Behind him, Gerald bowed. "I'll be on my way. My Lord, My Lady."
Katherine stared after him, all the while wondering if it was a good idea for a nobleman to be seen at Old Street, with an office, and amongst all the other commoners. It certainly was not a good idea. But it was what he wanted. It was important to him. She wouldn't come against that. She couldn't bring herself to tell him it wasn't a good idea. She knew the Dowager Marchioness would not be happy to hear that he had gone along with it, but seeing the hopeful smile on his face about her good opinion, she was truly happy for him.