The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg, and Other Stories

by Mark Twain

  (My Retranslation.)

  THE FROG JUMPING OF THE COUNTY OF CALAVERAS

  Eh bien! this Smiley nourished some terriers a rats, and some cocks ofcombat, and some cats, and all sorts of things: and with his rage ofbetting one no had more of repose. He trapped one day a frog and himimported with him (et l'emporta chez lui) saying that he pretended tomake his education. You me believe if you will, but during three monthshe not has nothing done but to him apprehend to jump (apprendre asauter) in a court retired of her mansion (de sa maison). And I yourespond that he have succeeded. He him gives a small blow by behind,and the instant after you shall see the frog turn in the air like agrease-biscuit, make one summersault, sometimes two, when she was wellstarted, and refall upon his feet like a cat. He him had accomplishedin the art of to gobble the flies (gober des mouches), and him thereexercised continually--so well that a fly at the most far that sheappeared was a fly lost. Smiley had custom to say that all which lackedto a frog it was the education, but with the education she could donearly all--and I him believe. Tenez, I him have seen pose DanielWebster there upon this plank--Daniel Webster was the name of thefrog--and to him sing, 'Some flies, Daniel, some flies!'--in a fash ofthe eye Daniel had bounded and seized a fly here upon the counter, thenjumped anew at the earth, where he rested truly to himself scratch thehead with his behind-foot, as if he no had not the least idea of hissuperiority. Never you not have seen frog as modest, as natural, sweetas she was. And when he himself agitated to jump purely and simply uponplain earth, she does more ground in one jump than any beast of hisspecies than you can know.

  To jump plain--this was his strong. When he himself agitated for thatSmiley multiplied the bets upon her as long as there to him remained ared. It must to know, Smiley was monstrously proud of his frog, and heof it was right, for some men who were travelled, who had all seen,said that they to him would be injurious to him compare to another frog.Smiley guarded Daniel in a little box latticed which he carried bytimesto the village for some bet.

  One day an individual stranger at the camp him arrested with his box andhim said:

  'What is this that you have then shut up there within?'

  Smiley said, with an air indifferent:

  'That could be a paroquet, or a syringe (ou un serin), but this no isnothing of such, it not is but a frog.'

  The individual it took, it regarded with care, it turned from one sideand from the other, then he said:

  'Tiens! in effect!--At what is she good?'

  'My God!' responded Smiley, always with an air disengaged, 'she is goodfor one thing, to my notice (a mon avis), she can better in jumping(elle peut batter en sautant) all frogs of the county of Calaveras.'

  The individual retook the box, it examined of new longly, and itrendered to Smiley in saying with an air deliberate:

  'Eh bien! I no saw not that that frog had nothing of better than eachfrog.' (Je ne vois pas que cette grenouille ait rien de mieux qu'aucunegrenouille.) (If that isn't grammar gone to seed, then I count myself nojudge.--M.T.)

  'Possible that you not it saw not,' said Smiley; 'possible that you--youcomprehend frogs; possible that you not you there comprehend nothing;possible that you had of the experience, and possible that you not bebut an amateur. Of all manner (de toute maniere) I bet forty dollarsthat she batter in jumping no matter which frog of the country ofCalaveras.'

  The individual reflected a second, and said like sad:

  'I not am but a stranger here, I no have not a frog; but if I of it hadone, I would embrace the bet.'

  'Strong, well!' respond Smiley; 'nothing of more facility. If you willhold my box a minute, I go you to search a frog (j'irai vous chercher.)'

  Behold, then, the individual who guards the box, who puts his fortydollars upon those of Smiley, and who attends (et qui attendre). Heattended enough longtimes, reflecting all solely. And figure you that hetakes Daniel, him opens the mouth by force and with a teaspoon him fillswith shot of the hunt, even him fills just to the chin, then he himputs by the earth. Smiley during these times was at slopping in a swamp.Finally he trapped (attrape) a frog, him carried to that individual, andsaid:

  'Now if you be ready, put him all against Daniel, with their before-feetupon the same line, and I give the signal'--then he added: 'One, twothree--advance!'

  Him and the individual touched their frogs by behind, and the frog newput to jump smartly, but Daniel himself lifted ponderously, exhalted theshoulders thus, like a Frenchman--to what good? He could not budge, heis planted solid like a church, he not advance no more than if one himhad put at the anchor.

  Smiley was surprised and disgusted, but he not himself doubted notof the turn being intended (mais il ne se doutait pas du tour bienentendre). The indidivual empocketed the silver, himself with it went,and of it himself in going is that he no gives not a jerk of thumb overthe shoulder--like that--at the poor Daniel, in saying with his airdeliberate--(L'individu empoche l'argent, s'en va et en s'en allantest-ce qu'il ne donne pas un coup de pouce pas-dessus l'epaule, commeca, au pauvre Daniel, en disant de son air delibere).

  'Eh bien! I no see not that that frog has nothing of better thananother.'

  Smiley himself scratched longtimes the head, the eyes fixed upon Daniel,until that which at last he said:

  'I me demand how the devil it makes itself that this beast has refused.Is it that she had something? One would believe that she is stuffed.'

  He grasped Daniel by the skin of the neck, him lifted and said:

  'The wolf me bite if he no weigh not five pounds.'

  He him reversed and the unhappy belched two handfuls of shot (et lemalheureux, etc.). When Smiley recognised how it was, he was like mad.He deposited his frog by the earth and ran after that individual, but henot him caught never.

  It may be that there are people who can translate better than I can, butI am not acquainted with them.

  So ends the private and public history of the Jumping Frog of CalaverasCounty, an incident which has this unique feature about it--that it isboth old and new, a 'chestnut' and not a 'chestnut;' for it was originalwhen it happened two thousand years ago, and was again original when ithappened in California in our own time.

  P.S.

  London, July, 1900.--Twice, recently, I have been asked this question:

  'Have you seen the Greek version of the "Jumping Frog"?'

  And twice I have answered--'No.'

  'Has Professor Van Dyke seen it?'

  'I suppose so.'

  'Then you supposition is at fault.'

  'Why?'

  'Because there isn't any such version.'

  'Do you mean to intimate that the tale is modern, and not borrowed fromsome ancient Greek book.'

  'Yes. It is not permissible for any but the very young and innocent tobe so easily beguiled as you and Van Dyke have been.'

  'Do you mean that we have fallen a prey to our ignorance andsimplicity?'

  'Yes. Is Van Dyke a Greek scholar?'

  'I believe so.'

  'Then he knew where to find the ancient Greek version if one existed.Why didn't he look? Why did he jump to conclusions?'

  'I don't know. And was it worth the trouble, anyway?'

  As it turns out, now, it was not claimed that the story had beentranslated from the Greek. It had its place among other uncreditedstories, and was there to be turned into Greek by students of thatlanguage. 'Greek Prose Composition'--that title is what made theconfusion. It seemed to mean that the originals were Greek. It was notwell chosen, for it was pretty sure to mislead.

  Thus vanishes the Greek Frog, and I am sorry: for he loomed fine andgrand across the sweep of the ages, and I took a great pride in him.

  M.T.

  (1) Sidgwick, Greek Prose Composition, page 116