by Ben Alderson
The earth is cold beneath me, unwilling to help. But it soon comes around. I can feel its tendrils of presence as it strengthens my body, yet I can still feel its anger toward me, its shame.
With enough strength in me to sit up, I thank the earth for lending its energy, even if it didn’t want to.
Savi is still in the same place, but her veins are no longer black, her wounds closing. Her eyes flutter but still are closed. I reach over and press my palm to her body once more and sense her life. It is there, but so is something else. Something new that was never part of her energy before.
“What have I done?” I breathe, looking at the girl I saved, but at what cost?
Savi
The darkness is all around me, and it moves, like it has a mind of its own. I feel myself cowering away from it, retreating from the shadows I once held dear to my heart. I search for light in the midst of the abyss, finding nothing but empty seclusion. As a vampire, I should welcome the silence, the loneliness, but something about this feels different, darker, unnatural.
Sound echoes in the distance, but it’s muffled by the ever-increasing pain. My senses rapid fire, and though I feel something approach, I cannot retreat. I must face the darkness that’s overtaking me. Even so, I’m unprepared to fight. I’m weak, hungry, and out of time.
It’s closer now, and I brace myself for it. My legs buckle, and I cower. I’ve never been a coward, but rarely do I ever become the prey. I don’t know what to do when I’m no longer the predator.
I hear the savage, relentless beating of a heart—my heart. My stomach spills into my mouth, and I force it back down. The metallic taste of stale blood makes me queasy. But I welcome it. I cherish anything that makes me feel alive.
I see nothing, but I know it’s there, watching me. I can feel the darkness hovering in the air, waiting for my weakest moment, waiting to strike like snake on vermin. My stomach twists, and the steady knocking of an internal intruder coils within my mind. I try to push it away, but it’s no use. This intruder is stronger than me now, so I crumble and wait.
Let me help, the intruder says. Its low voice tries to soothe, but it cannot hide the demonic sound of its words. It promises to relieve my pain, but I do not trust this shadow stalker.
It’s too late, I think. I struggle to free myself from its grip as it reaches for me. I glance down, and see I’m nothing but a wisp. My hands dissipate into dark crimson smoke as the darkness entwines with me.
It is never too late… The promise of those words rings true all around me. The voice is menacing, and I cannot relinquish the idea that this force is pure evil. Fear is not something invoked easily, yet I cannot help but tremble under its presence.
“What have I done?” the darkness whispers. Only this time, it morphs into the voice I know.
George.
The darkness is… George?
I reach for him, begging for his help. I latch onto the darkness and welcome its warm embrace. I feel him all around me, linking his soul to my very own. I feel the connection even though I do not understand his magic. It feels… permanent, as though he has bonded us for life. Too late to escape his grasp, I simply wait for the inevitable.
My eyelids flutter open as I inhale deeply. My breath comes in short, loud bursts as I heave uncontrollably. I feel as though I haven’t welcomed air in centuries. My lungs ache, and as I take in too much air, I hack. The pain resonates through my frame in deep, sharp shocks. I find myself wishing for the painless darkness once again.
Arching off the ground, I squeeze my eyes closed. Everything is bright, too bright. It makes my eyes water. I dig my fingers into the ground. The pain of shards of rock getting caught beneath my fingernails muffles the sounds of the waves crashing beside me. Though I can hear everything, from the fish swimming in schools beneath the mirrored water top of Raven Cry Lake to the animals readying themselves for winter within the confines of Wolfsbane Forest, a comfortable silence begins to settle over me as I slowly adjust to my heightened senses.
The smell of decaying meat penetrates the layers of light and sound. I roll over, gagging until I expel everything I can. The stale blood coats my tongue, and I want nothing more than to dive into the treacherous waters and never return for air. Even when done, I dry heave, unable to ignore the smell of our past mistakes haunting us. It’s everywhere all at once. I feel it seeping into my pores, enveloping me in rotting mush.
Something caresses my back, and I open my eyes. With a force I’ve never known, I push myself away from the unwanted presence and nearly catapult myself up and onto the cliff that overseas these shadowy depths of Raven Cry Lake.
I’m spinning in circles, trying to find my attacker. My head aches, my chest heaves, and the blood coursing through my veins feels… wrong. Something isn’t right. I’m awake, yet the shadows within my soul still linger. They cling to me for life even if it means we both perish.
“Savi!”
I hear George call to me, but I cannot see him. Not until he grabs me by my shoulders, facing me squarely in front of him, do I believe he’s really there.
“George,” I whisper when I focus on a familiar set of emerald irises. My lungs ache as I breathe him in. And he smells utterly delectable. Instinctively, my fangs elongate. It isn’t until they push against my bottom lip that I realize something isn’t right.
I push him away from me and stumble backward until I’m flat against the wall of the cliffside. Chest heaving as I gasp for air, I reach forward and run my fingertips over my fangs, one hand for each tooth. In a frenzy, I ramble on about the darkness and the pain. Even now, everything hurts.
I scan my surroundings, watching in panic as George approaches me slowly. He’s careful not to startle me, just like my many victims before him. They too considered me with caution. A sense of comfortable familiarity washes over me as I view George as prey.
“Savi…” George speaks slowly, calmly, but his eyes are wide. I gasp when he’s close enough to touch. I ache to reach for him, but the moment I yearn to touch him, a malevolent thought crosses my mind as I hunger for George.
“Stop!” I shriek. “Don’t come closer.”
I look past him, considering my options of escape. I could climb the wall of the cliff and retreat within the deep woods of Wolfsbane Forest. I could dive into the darkest depths of Raven Cry Lake.
My gaze settles on something floating in the water. The wolf’s corpse moves with each passing wave, slowly making its way toward the jagged rocks where land meets sea. Its coat is matted, the dark strands of fur highlighted by the setting light. Its lifeless eyes are open, its jaw ajar, tongue floating beside its bloodstained snout. My stomach grumbles at the sight of it.
“Something’s wrong,” I say, swallowing. I’m fixated on the wolf, unable to look away until George’s words propel my mind back to him.
“Your eyes…”
Instinctively, I reach for them. Though my fingertips are sensitive to touch, my eyes feel normal, unlike my fangs, which seem longer, thicker than the two tiny points barely noticeable to humans that I was born with.
“They’re… crimson with… flecks of gold.” George struggles to find words, but the horror on his face is evident. It screams what have we done? He seems shocked, disgusted almost, by me. I can’t help the anger that overcomes me.
“I feel different,” I say, ignoring the desire to lash out at him.
A rustling in the brush alerts me to an onlooker’s presence. I blink, and I’m already behind George. I blink again, and I’m in the brush, tearing through the trees like a savage beast. I hear its scream, but I ignore its fear. Just as I’m about to tear teeth to flesh, a strong wind frees my victim from my grasp. I growl as my dinner escapes before I stand and face George, who is mere feet from me, arms erect after he called upon his power to stop me.
“Calm down! It was a squirrel. What is going on with you?”
I frown and turn back toward the animal, which has retreated to the highest branch of a nearby tree. With
out meaning to, I calculate the time it would take for me to reach it. I know I can be at its side before it even realizes it’s still in danger. Shaking my head to clear the images of me devouring a whole, living squirrel, I struggle to find the words to explain my actions, but I fall mute. Vampires can’t survive for long on the blood of animals, so I’ve never had a hankering for squirrel meat before. But now, all I can think about is tearing into its flesh.
“What’s happening to me?” I whisper as I fall to my knees. I stare at my palms. They’re smudged with dirt and bloodstained from our fight with the wolves. I look at my hands, and the lines are the same. My skin is still pale and cool. But somehow, they’re different. They’re not mine. They do things I wish they didn’t, as if they control me.
“It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out,” George says, looking around cautiously.
He approaches me, and a sudden ache roots itself in my gut. I groan as it becomes stronger the closer he becomes.
“Stop,” I say as I keel over. “It hurts…”
“What hurts?” George asks after coming to a halt a few feet from me. He frowns as I wrap my arms around my stomach.
“Everything,” I say as I try to catch my breath.
“Try and explain. I can’t help you if you are not being clear,” George says. I hear him swallow, and his heartbeat quickens. I imagine him beneath my grasp. His skin is tan and soft, and I see myself strangle him in my mind’s eye, his untouched skin wrinkles beneath my fingers.
I shriek, scratching my fingernails against my scalp as I try to physically tear away the images I’ve just conjured. The darkness that brought me back tempts me to explore my desires, but I tell myself it’s a lie. I would never hurt George, even if he’s hurting me.
“It hurts when you’re close,” I whisper as I close my eyes. “Please… Just stay away.”
I can’t tell George the truth. I can’t admit that the closer he is to me, the more I want to rip off his head. The closer he comes, the more the darkness tears its way through my flesh, breaking my bones.
Though I don’t see him, I hear his footsteps as he takes several steps backward. The pain eases until I can finally reopen my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” George says, gaze on the rocky ground. He doesn’t understand, but neither do I. Something is wrong with me, and I know it’s his doing.
I swallow the knot that forms in my throat, threatening to choke the life from me, and I sense the darkness from before. It’s inside of me, nestled so deeply I wonder if it’s trying to hide. I fear, with this shadow self, the worst is still to come.
“What did you do, George?”
George
I don’t know what to tell her, because in truth, I know little of what I’ve done. I lost control. I gave into the swirling, tempting darkness that lives within of me. I allowed it space to take over, to use my body and magic in ways that should’ve been impossible. One moment, Savi was dying, her soul dwindling like the flame of a candle in a storm. But my power stilled that storm and rushed strength back into the flame. Her wounds healed, and her eyes blinked with new colors. Whatever I did was not normal or natural. I helped Savi cheat death.
“They could come back at any moment,” I say to her as Savi tries to stand. She stumbles, face crumpling in agony. She even let out a howling cry which stirred the very waters in the Lake.
“I can’t, George. The pain is too much.”
“You need to let me help you.” I move closer and touch her arm with my hand. She hisses, eyes narrowing at me.
“Don’t touch me!”
Her words are not a request, but a clear threat.
“Okay, okay.” I raise my hands in defeat and step back. “But if the wolves return, especially if they know you are alive, we will both be in even more pain. The blood debt has not been paid, not with you… alive.”
Saying it aloud felt strange. Admitting she’d cheated death made me feel shy among the elements. Would they hate me for what I decided to do? I interrupted the natural balance, a balance I should respect from afar. I wonder if Father looks upon me with pride in his eyes. Something I never achieved from him during his short life.
“Let them come for me,” Savi growls, the gold in her eyes intensifying. “I have my own debt to claim.”
I try to use the elements to sense if anyone is watching. I don’t feel them in the air, but I do notice one thing. Savi is different. But in what way I cannot understand. Her very essence is tainted by something new.
“The cottage. The one we used to play in,” I say. “We should head there. At least we won’t be out in the open. It still has my charm on it, so we should be hidden within it.”
“You think it is safe there?” Savi asks. I see she is not convinced from the furrow of her brows.
“It is better than staying out here.” I turn for the rockface. “Do you think you can make it up?”
“Yes.” She sounds certain. “As long as you keep your distance. I know this sounds strange, but the closer you are, the more pain I am in.”
I nod, turning for the cliff face and looking up at our destination.
“I should help—"
Savi springs forward, moving with strange grace. I am certain she ran on all fours the first few strides before throwing herself at the rockface and climbing. With increased speed, she jets up, sending cascades of rock and stone down upon me. I raise a hand to block them only to see her reach the top in a few blinks. She didn’t wait for what I had to say. Not as she clawed her way up the cliff face until she was standing at the top, looking down at me.
“Don’t wait for me…” I say to myself, spinning my hands as I call forth the air element. I feel its reluctance to help me, but it still listens. Is it stubborn or scared? I cannot decide.
With a rush from my magic, I’m weightless, lifted up through the air and leaving the ground below. I concentrate, trying to push as much power into reaching Savi as possible. Part of me thinks she has left me, for her urgency to keep distance between us was clear. I don’t understand her pain. What about my presence does this to her?
Once my feet touch down at the top of the cliff, back near the ruins of the bonfire, I drop my control of the air. My magic recedes quickly, almost like it cannot get away from me fast enough. Breathless, I stumble forward, catching myself before I fall to the ground.
“Took you long enough,” Savi says, turning her back away from me as she inspects the tree line. I take a step closer to her, and she steps even farther away.
“Have I done something to upset you?” I ask, her attitude clear and off putting.
She sighs, pauses, and shakes her head. “No, I just don’t feel right. Can we just… find this cottage. I’m sorry.”
I sense the insincerity in her tone. She is lying. Before the events of today, I never thought she could lie to me, but now, I know that is untrue. But then again, how am I any better? After what I have done, after the things Mother has forced me to do, I am no more than a cloaked hypocrite.
“Follow me,” I say, leading the way.
The cottage is not hard to find.
Close to Old Oak, it is no more than a glorified stone building, hardly big enough for one person, let alone two. It used to be fine when we were younger, smaller, but as we approach, I can see that is not the case now.
Dying vines wrap around the rusted face of the cottage, hungrily feeding into the smashed windows and door-less frame. The rotten decking circles the front of the cottage, no more than a death trap. Just looking at it, I can see that our feet would smash straight through the paneling and into the overgrown shrubbery beneath.
“I don’t remember it being so… dull.” Savi’s attention is pinned to the building before us.
“Me neither. It’s been so long since we last visited that I can’t remember what ever stopped us.” No one else would have used it since we left as we aged, not with my cloaking charm keeping the cottage and its inhabitants hidden in Wolfsbane Forest.
“We gr
ew up, no longer needing the protection of four walls,” Savi says as she moves forward, stepping around rotting wood and overgrown weeds.
I follow behind her, using my connection with the earth to move the weeds and thorn-covered vines without the need to break them.
Savi grabs hold of the railing as a panel breaks beneath her foot. “This place may be hexed by your magic, but it is more dangerous than I remember. Are you sure we’re safe here?”
I nod, too busy watching where my own feet touch to really respond.
It is dark inside. I can’t see my hand in front of my face. Only the glow of Savi’s eyes pierce the dark. I scrunch my nose, displeased with the horrific scents that cling to this place. Had animals crawled in here to die, thinking they were safe from the wolves that hunt them?
My feet crunch over unsure lumps, and I squirm.
“You definitely don’t want to know what you just stepped in. Can’t you light the way?” Savi asks. “Turn your fingers into candles or something?”
I know what she asks, but the thought of creating a flame turns my stomach more than seeing the wolves again.
But I can’t admit that to her.
Instead, I focus on my palm and close my eyes. Imagining the warmth of the sun against my bare skin, I call for fire to greet me. I will it to bloom on my hand like the opening of a rose on a bright summer day.
But it resists.
Why would it listen to someone who fears it so much? Out of the elements, fire has control of me—mind, body, and soul.
“I can’t,” I say, conjuring a fresh lie for Savi. “I’m exhausted. I don’t think I can use magic at all for a while.” Thankfully, I was walking behind Savi when I called upon earth to clear my path as we approached the cottage. If she had seen my display of magic, I wouldn’t know what to say to her now.
The stirring darkness in the pit of my stomach lifts its head as if to disagree. It knows I am not exhausted; it knows I can still use magic. Pushing it down, I try to clear my mind.