by Lane Hart
“Roman asked me to stay with him this morning, like permanently,” I explain.
“Wow. That’s great news, right? I thought you were having fun with him.”
“I am. We were having fun,” I agree. “I thought it was just fun, nothing serious, and then he hit me with a Mack truck load of information today.”
“What information?” Tessa asks.
“You know how I told you that Roman knew Adam from their time in the military?”
“Yes.”
“Well, he says that he knew him so well that Adam told Roman that he was having an affair and that he — that Adam has a son…”
“A son?” Tessa gasps. “With whom?”
“A woman named Meredith who was serving with them.”
“That’s…that’s crazy, though. Adam would’ve told you if he cheated on you, right?” she asks.
“I thought he would, but what if Roman is telling the truth?” I reply. “If he is, then I’m not sure if I really knew my husband.”
“Maybe Roman’s wrong and it was just some gossip on the base or whatever,” Tessa offers.
“Roman showed me a photo of the boy,” I admit to her while chewing on my thumbnail. “There’s definitely a resemblance. I’ve seen Adam’s baby photos, and the two of them are…very similar.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Of course you don’t!” she exclaims. “Who wants to believe that their dead husband had an affair and a child with another woman?”
“I know! And I’m just…I’m so freaking angry at Roman!”
Tessa’s brow creases. “You’re angry at Roman? Why are you angry at him?”
“Because he knew about this and didn’t tell me!”
“You’re angry at the poor man for being honest with you when your own husband wasn’t?” she asks, which of course sounds ridiculous when she says it out loud.
“Yes. It’s crazy, I know, but Roman did other things too!”
“Like what?” Tessa asks.
“The flowers on Valentine’s Day and the beach house rental every week for our anniversary, to name a few…”
“That was all Roman?”
“Yes. It was wrong of him to make me think it was Adam!”
“Charlotte, honey, do you think maybe your anger should be redirected to someone else?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Why are you angry at Roman when, to me, it sounds like you should be pissed at Adam?”
“How can I be angry at a dead man?” I huff. “He’s gone. Adam isn’t here for me to yell at him!”
“No, he’s not here in the flesh. But that doesn’t mean you can’t yell at Adam or be mad at him. And, girl, if anyone deserves your wrath, it’s your cheating husband. He impregnated another woman! His child that he should’ve had with you is out there in the world, running around, looking like him! If that doesn’t make your blood boil, then I don’t know what will.”
“I hear what you’re saying, I do,” I tell her. “It’s just, I feel so blindsided by Roman, like he told me now so that I would choose him over Adam.”
“But that’s not even a choice, right?” Tessa says. “Only one of them is alive and head over heels in love with you…”
“It just, it doesn’t feel right. None of this makes any sense!”
“It makes sense to me,” she replies. “Roman cared about you before he even knew you, so much so that he made you feel special at least two times every year. And then these past few weeks, he’s made it obvious to anyone who can see that he would do anything for you. If you walk away from him, I don’t think you’ll ever forgive yourself, Charlotte.”
“I don’t know how to feel about him hiding all this from me…” I try to explain.
“What was he supposed to do?” Tessa demands. “Show up at the memorial and make a scene in front of you and both of your families? When would have been a good time for you, really? I don’t think he ever would have told you if he didn’t care for you so much. You’re letting your life slip by mourning the memory of a man who did deserve your love, and who was your best friend. But while you’ve been hanging onto this idea that Adam was your one and only, forever and ever, the truth is that he was out there loving someone else. He even gave her the child you had wanted to share with him.”
Tessa stops talking when she sees the tears rolling down my face and reaches over to grab the box of Kleenex from the table. “There are still a few left in there,” she says softly, “though I think that’s the hundredth box I’ve used.”
“Thanks,” I manage to snort as I take it from her.
“If Adam had survived, and he had a chance to sit down and explain himself to you, maybe you could make some sense out of his betrayal,” Tessa sighs. “But he didn’t, and we can’t ever know what was going on with him when he…when he did all that. The only thing you can do now is hang on to the good memories of the man you loved, cherish them, and try to forgive him for the rest. But you’ll never find peace unless you move on, Charlotte.”
“Then I guess I know what I have to do,” I say as I dry my eyes and dab at my face. “Thanks, Tessa. Counseling has been really good for you. Maybe I should stay here a while too!” I tell her with a smile.
Chapter Twenty
Roman
I’m in such a foul mood after talking to Winston that I shut myself in my office the rest of the morning. I needed to go over the ledgers sent in by all of our business managers anyhow; so, for the next few hours, I dig through our costs, expenses, and revenues to calculate our chapter’s quarterly bonuses. Seeing that we’re solidly in the black, even in the off season, finally begins to put me in a better mood, at least until Leo suddenly barges into my office.
“Goddammit, Leo, knock!” I snarl.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, prez,” he stammers. “Just thought you’d want to know that Charlotte lady just pulled into the parking lot. Winston told me to get you if she called the clubhouse or anything.”
“Thanks, Leo,” I sigh. “Show her in for me. Just knock from now on, okay?”
“Sure, sure,” Leo says dismissively. “I’ll remember. Well, probably, you know I get excited…”
“Go get Charlotte,” I interrupt him.
“Yes, sir!” Leo says as he quickly backs out the door. Only a few seconds later, Charlotte appears in the entryway.
“Hey! I thought you would be halfway to Raleigh by now,” I say to her.
“Tessa isn’t ready to go home yet. That’s why I’m here actually,” she explains. “Would you be willing to help her stay at the facility another month? I can help with the payment…” she trails off as I walk past her and close the door to my office so we can talk in private.
“Of course I can. You don’t need to pay a penny, baby,” I tell her.
“Thanks.”
“No problem,” I reply. “What about you? Are you staying in town too?”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” she answers with a nod.
“With me?” I ask, so glad she’s staying that I risk a smile at her.
“No,” Charlotte replies, which is a ballbuster.
“So, where are you going to stay?” I ask as my grin fades, remembering what Winston said about giving her time.
“Maybe in a hotel until I can find an apartment. I’m starting to think Tessa may be here for a while…”
“Do you need me to help you look for one? I know people.”
“That’s okay. I’ll figure something out, but thanks for offering. I need some time alone.”
“Sure, yeah. I get it.”
“So, when will we be able to go see the woman my husband had an affair with and knocked up?” she asks.
“Tomorrow hopefully. I’m waiting for Meredith to call me back.”
“Oh,” she says. “Do you talk to her often?”
“I do, yeah,” I admit. “She’s a single mother with no family around to help out.”
“So you help her out?”<
br />
“I do.”
“Oh my god,” Charlotte mutters.
“What?”
“Did you sleep with her too?”
“Huh? Why are you…what…why would you ask me that?”
“Did you sleep with Meredith, Roman?”
Fuck. I consider lying for a second, but Charlotte deserves the full truth. Besides, it was barely even a thing.
“Just once,” I admit. “Well, one night,” I explain with a cringe.
“I knew it!” Charlotte exclaims indignantly. “You…you…”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen!” I tell her. “I was just down there visiting for Aiden’s first birthday. After her friends from work left, I stayed to help Meredith clean up afterwards. It was late, so she told me I could spend the night. I didn’t know she was asking me to spend the night with her until, well, you know…”
“You’re telling me that you fell into bed with her because of a misunderstanding?” Charlotte scoffs.
“You can’t be mad at me for sleeping with a woman years before I even met you!” I exclaim.
“Sure I can!” she yells back. “Apparently this is what you do! I’m just a project for you like she is! So you ride in on your white horse, or more accurately, your black Harley, to help out widows and single mothers, and then you sleep with them because you have a hero complex a mile wide!”
“I’m not married to anyone, am I? I’m free to fuck whoever I want. Besides, Charlotte, you’re one to talk,” I mutter. “You won’t take off your fucking wedding band or fuck me in the bed we sleep in because it’s too ‘intimate’!”
She stares at me with heat filling her eyes, and I know I went too far, but dammit, I’ve been patient long enough.
“You know what, Roman? Just give me this woman’s address. I can go see her on my own.”
“No,” I grit out.
“Yes!”
“No! I’m going with you.”
“Why? Because you’re scared of what she might say about you? Do you send her flowers on Valentine’s? Do her and Adam have an anniversary you never miss?”
“No, I didn’t do any of those things for her,” I grumble. “All I do is send her money for her kid that your wonderful husband left behind!”
“And screw her when she gets lonely?” Charlotte asks with a fake pout.
“It was one time! One night!” I correct myself again while simultaneously kicking myself in the ass for the stupid decision I made in the past that’s coming back to haunt me. Damn Adam and his mistress!
“Send me her address and tell her I’m coming to see her,” she says through clenched teeth. I know from her demeanor she’s not going to bend on this.
“Fine,” I agree with a sigh. “But just, please go easy on her, okay? Adam put her through hell too. She didn’t know he was married at first.”
“At first!” Charlotte shouts. “But she did know eventually, and that didn’t stop her from having an affair, did it?”
“No, I guess not.”
“Then I don’t owe her anything, do I?” she asks before she storms out.
Charlotte
Some of my anger fades when I pull up to the address Roman sent me and see how tiny and rundown the house is that my husband’s mistress and their son live in.
For the millionth time, I check my rearview, fully expecting to see a Harley drive up behind me because he’s too hard-headed to let me come alone. But there’s no bike and no other cars on the rural road on this bright Monday afternoon. I’m both relieved and a little disappointed.
Before I can second-guess my decision about coming, the red front door opens and then a raven-haired woman is filling it. She lifts her palm in an awkward wave that I return.
Guess it’s now or never.
Tossing my keys into my purse, I throw it over my shoulder and climb out of my car to walk up the cracked sidewalk.
“Hey, you must be Charlotte,” she says with a hint of an exotic accent when I approach her.
“And you must be Meredith, my dead husband’s girlfriend.”
“Go ahead and say it,” she replies with a sigh as she holds the door open for me to come inside the living room where toys are strewn everywhere. “Call me a bitch. I know you want to, and Aiden is playing across the street for a few minutes to give us some adult time to talk.”
“Well, where should we begin?” I ask when she moves a pile of laundry from the sofa for me to sit down, while she takes a seat on the floor with her legs crossed. “How about why you didn’t stay away from Adam after you found out he was married?”
“I did. We didn’t…fool around again after I found out. But by that time I was pregnant.”
“Oh, that’s just great.”
“He didn’t want to hurt you,” she says. “Adam felt so guilty, but he really cared about me too. We didn’t mean to fall in love. It just happened over time.”
“Yeah, right,” I mutter.
“I was working on the base as an interpreter. Adam and I met one day in the cafeteria. It took months of us talking and flirting before he ever touched me,” she says as if that’s supposed to make me feel better.
“Months? It only took a few months to ruin my marriage?”
“I’m sorry,” Meredith says. “Is that what you want to hear? I’m so very sorry, Charlotte. But I don’t regret being with him. I miss Adam like crazy, you know? And having Aiden, it’s like I got to keep a little piece of him here with me. I can apologize for what we did, but I would still do it all over again if I had the chance.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m having the hardest part with – he left something behind for you but not me. I always wanted kids too, Adam’s kids…”
“I’m sorry,” Meredith says again. “But if it’s any consolation, being a single mother is really fucking hard.”
“Good,” I say through the sniffles as I swipe my fingers under my damp eyes and we both chuckle.
“I don’t know what we would’ve done without Roman,” she goes on to say, making my chest ache at the mention of him, knowing he’s been with this woman too. Why does every man in my life have to sleep with her? I mean, yes, she’s beautiful, but jeez. “After Aiden came, I was out of the military and had to look for a job and find childcare. Roman didn’t owe us a dime, but still he’s been taking care of us, watching out for us since Adam can’t do it.”
“The man can’t seem to avoid helping damsels in distress,” I huff.
“Roman is such a great guy. One in a million,” Meredith gushes with a huge smile. “He was too much of a gentleman to turn me down the night I threw myself at him. It was just…it was Aiden’s first birthday and Adam couldn’t be here to celebrate with him, and I was lonely. I can’t bear to bring home men and have Aiden get attached before they up and leave us. I know Roman will never abandon us even though we only see him a few times a year. He’s got a big heart.”
“Yeah, he does,” I agree. There’s no denying how amazing Roman has been with helping Tessa and the other victims.
“I thought about contacting you those first few weeks after…but Roman said he could help with anything we needed. All he asked was that I not tell you because you would be devastated to learn the truth. Adam wouldn’t have wanted me to hurt you. But I’m so glad you know now.”
“So Adam really loved you?” I ask.
“I was in love with him. He loved me too I think, just not as much as he loved you. He had made his decision – he was going to pay child support but not see Aiden so that you wouldn’t ever have to know. It killed him to choose, and I hate he never got to meet Aiden or hold him…” she trails off.
“So your son was born after Adam died?”
“Adam was on his way to see us right after the delivery when the helicopter was shot down.
Wow. Isn’t that a doozy to be hit with? Adam was going to see his mistress and their baby when he died. And I have no doubt that as soon as he laid eyes on his newborn son, he would’ve picked them over me. How could
he not?
“It’s…it’s our fault you lost your husband, Charlotte,” Meredith tells me.
“No,” I reply. “It’s my husband’s fault I lost my husband. I’m starting to think he left me long before he died. I just didn’t know it.”
I don’t get any more time to process all of this new information, because the next second the front door flies open and then a whirlwind in the shape of a small boy comes in talking gibberish a mile a minute before he flings himself into his mother’s arms.
“Sorry,” a lady says as she jogs in out of breath. “He was ready to come home and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“It’s fine,” Meredith says as she pulls him down into her lap so that he’s finally calm and still and facing me, looking like a tiny version of Adam. “Mommy was just talking to her friend, Charlotte. Can you say hello?”
“Hi!” he replies before shoving his thumb into his mouth.
“Someone looks like he’s ready for a nap.”
“I’m not sleepy!” he challenges even as his eyelids sag.
“Right, of course not,” Meredith replies with a grin. “We’ll just take a quick little break for a few minutes, and then you can get right back to being a messy tornado.”
“‘Kay,” he replies before sucking harder on his thumb and letting his eyes finally close.
Chapter Twenty-One
Roman
I’ve just finished washing my dishes after dinner when I hear someone knocking at the door. My heart actually leaps in my chest, because only one other person knows the gate codes to even get this close to my house. When I open the door to the porch, Charlotte is standing by the railing, looking out towards the ocean.
“You don’t have to knock,” I say. “I was serious about you living here.” When she doesn’t respond, I add, “I’m happy to see you. Happy that you decided to come back.”
“Well, I’m glad to see you, too,” she says with a small smile as she turns to face me. Her eyes look puffy as if she has been crying, and her hair is still pulled into the messy ponytail she likes to wear while driving.