by Kira Graham
“Gross,” Keenan grumbles, his eyes twinkling while Mom and Dad titter and share a look that I do not, I repeat do not, want to unpeel.
Ever.
“Soooo, you’re her friend. Maybe that’s a good thing, Cam?” Cassia asks, her eyes gentling and losing the amusement.
“Good how? Please explain to me how my ‘one’ friending me is a good thing?” I snarl, pulling a face at Des who giggles and waves back at me, his brown eyes twinkling mischievously.
“Your one?” Dad asks, and now he isn’t laughing anymore and neither is anyone around the table.
This is serious, and despite what Connor said to me a few weeks ago, even he gets it. My family is… set in their ways and there are certain things we don’t mess with. We know when a deal is good, we know when to drive in bad weather and when not to, and when we meet our one, we know when to concede defeat and buy the ring. In fact, we never hesitate. My mom and dad got married exactly one month after they met. Mom says it’s because she finally got tired of Dad stalking her and she was too worn down to fight, and Dad says it was love at first sight. Whatever it was, they’ve been married nearly thirty-six years now and Dad says that no matter what, he still thinks it was the best thing he ever did. He did it knowing that it was the right choice, that Mom was the right one for him, and as I looked at Lu that first time, I just knew.
It didn’t hit me until after I got home with the cat just what had happened, but me being me, I didn’t fight it once it sank in. Lu and me, we’re going to happen. We just have to. The question is, how the hell do I convince a woman who wants to be celibate to sleep with me? It’s not a problem I have ever faced before, and I especially don’t like having to deal with this because some other asshole hurt my Lu.
“Okay. So, that’s a problem,” Keenan finally says softly, no longer amused because he went through something similar with Cassia.
Well, except for the celibacy part. Cass would sleep with him; she just didn’t see him as long-term material, until he knocked her up, ringed her and told her that he loved her too much to ever spend another day without her. Yeah, yeah, the man knows how to be romantic. Whatever.
“A big one,” Peter pipes up, smiling when I scowl at him and Mom giggles.
“I’ll say. She’s got you in friend mode, boy—and trust me when I say, that isn’t ever a good thing. Just look at Uncle Justin and Aunt Peg,” Dad says, smiling softly when Keenan swallows.
Aunt Peg and Uncle Justin were Keenan’s parents. They passed away two years ago in a skiing accident that nearly crippled Keenan. The only things that kept him going were Cass, the kids, and Dad’s ongoing attempts to keep Dares going. For a while there, even I wasn’t into it, but when we saw how much Keen needed it, we jumped in feet first and we haven’t stopped since. Now it’s all the time, in whatever sphere we can add Dares, which isn’t always easy when you’re family, supposed to love each other and bloodthirsty by nature.
“Well, they really loved one another,” Keen says softly, a soft smile on his lips. “And that came from a Vegas wedding too,” he laughs, making us all laugh with him because that was one crazy story that I still look up to.
“And a drunken night after two months of hard slog,” Dad laughs, shaking his head. “Point is, he got his girl, even when she wanted to be his friend. You can do this, Cam.”
“I don’t know. Lu… she’s stubborn, guys, and I’ve already told you about her own family. If you think we’re competitive, you should see these people. Her mother trains for the hunts. She’s a hundred years old and she can run a five-k. That kind of determination isn’t easy to overcome. And Lu is determined. In fact I think she’s determined to never have another relationship,” I sigh, scowling and snarling when everyone looks at me and then bursts out laughing.
“And you’re just gonna accept that?” Mom asks, her head shaking in shame. “Boy, didn’t I raise you right? You have to adapt, roll with things, and above all else, you find her weakness and you exploit it.”
Which just about sums us all up nicely.
“Mom, that sounds like I should stalk her, and that is illegal,” I point out, watching her roll her eyes.
“Oh, please. Stop being a baby and looking for excuses. Do you like her or not?”
“Oh, I like her,” I say, sighing because it’s a little more than that.
It’s a lot more, actually, because two weeks of being friends has forced me to actually get to know Lu, and what that means is, I like her. Like, like her kind of like her. I know that sounds messed-up since I’m so far in already, but I was thinking we could do that love thing after? Get to know one another after we’ve been together for a while and the sex haze has worn off. At this point there’s no sex haze, though. There’s no anything unless you count sitting on my sofa, watching TV while she snuggles the cat and tries to convince me to give it to her.
Like that’s ever going to happen, I think, snorting at the thought. Nope. That little demon is going to be mine forever, a symbol of how I slammed into Lu’s life and took over her heart. If she lets me.
“Then you owe it to her to trick her into loving you,” Cass says, smiling when Mom nods and Dad snorts.
“What? You think you chased me for a few days and I was the one who fell? Boy, I caught you. Had you running after me,” Mom laughs, her eye-roll so dramatic that even Dad laughs.
“So, what do I do then?”
“Well, that’s easy, boy,” Dad huffs, rolling his eyes now too. “Be her friend.”
“But I don’t wanna be her friend, dammit. I want to be…” I cut myself off and flush because I can’t say sex stuff in front of my mom. That’s just gross.
“Yeah, but she won’t want to be your friend for very long, kid. Trust me. Stop looking at her like she’s all that and a bag of chips—”
“Dad, stop trying to be cool,” I groan, a pain-filled laugh leaving me when he grins.
“Lily’s teaching me all the cool words that the cool kids say.”
“Lily’s evil, Dad,” I mumble, watching him smile proudly because this old fart is proud of all his grandchildren, all three of the buggers, because he counts Lily and Des as his grandbabies even though technically Keenan isn’t his kid.
“She’s all right, kid. Just flexing,” he crows, laughing when I shudder and close my eyes. “Okay, okay. No teasing. All right. What I mean is, you be her friend. The ladies, they’re always all about friendship and sensitivity and all that crap, but once they realize you aren’t into them they start to ask why. Oh, why doesn’t he like me?” Dad asks, putting on a high-pitched voice that makes Mom slap his shoulder while she laughs.
“So, you’re saying I should play hard to get?” I ask, pausing because that never occurred to me.
I don’t play games with women like that. I’m always open, honest, and factual. Sex, if they want to have sex with me, maybe a few more dates, and then…
But it’s different with Lu. I actually want a date, dammit. That way I can seduce her without feeling guilty, and we can look back and say this was a good time. Romantic even. My idea of romance is dinner, good food, good wine, some flattery and small talk, maybe a flower or twenty and some jewelry. I need those things. What the hell else am I supposed to come up with if that’s all out because a guy friend doesn’t give his friend who’s a girl expensive jewelry? She’d laugh her ass off if I showed up with flowers—and don’t even get me started on dinner, because she freaking paid for hers. And the goddamned ice cream too. Including mine!
“That’s what I’m saying, boy. Do yourself a favor. Just stop trying too hard. I know you like her but… if she likes you, she’ll come for you, kid,” he says gently.
“I don’t know that I can be that guy, though, Pop. I’m not exactly the silent type, ya know?” I mutter, already thinking about how hard this is going to be.
Especially since she’s dating some douche that her mom’s been setting her up with. Me? I ended that the moment I told Mom I was into a woman and going after her
. I didn’t go on dates. She did.
Am I not supposed to have feelings?
“Well, kid, suck it up. Nothing worth having is ever easy,” Mom says, and now I’m smiling because that is our motto and something worth agreeing with.
Lu is worth it. I just hope she feels the same way about me.
“Okay. I can do this,” I mutter, rising with everyone now that dinner’s done and it’s time to settle in the living room. “Just not The Notebook again tonight,” I yell before Connor or Mom can get their pick in, a resounding chorus of relief echoing while Connor whines like a bitch and Mom sniffs.
“That movie is a classic,” Connor grumbles, his hangdog face causing us all to laugh, even Peter who has stated on record that he’ll attempt murder if he has to watch that movie again.
“Yeah, Aunt Lydia, it is. But when you’ve already seen it sixteen times, you kinda don’t want to see it anymore. Or live,” Peter laughs, kissing her cheek when Mom pouts.
“I say we let Des pick tonight,” Dad coos, going over to take the kid who hugs him tight and smiles.
“I likes Tans pormews, gwanpa.”
Code name: Transformers. Christ.
“Christ,” Keenan groans, letting his head hang loose while I chuckle. “I’ve seen that movie twenty-eight times now. No shit.”
“No shit!” Des yells.
“Keenan! Dang it. No cussing, Desmond O’Dare,” Cassia mutters, though she is laughing, and when we’re all settled into the living room, the movie on and everyone hooting and yelling at the screen, I feel good for the first time in a week.
This is family to me. Togetherness.
I wonder what Lu is doing right now.
Chapter 7
Louisiana
“This is bullshit!” I snarl, my heart tripping, my pits pouring, and my blood thrumming with the thrill and fear of what we’re about to do.
“It’s not bullshit, Lu. It’s tactical advantage,” Gia sighs, grinning through her paint and giving me the straight-up creeps.
Our face paint isn’t black, thanks to Kim K. and her activism powers, but a nice navy blue does the trick in a pinch—and when you’re sneaking through a pitch-dark alley to get into a parking garage, you need all the help you can get. Especially when your sister, the harebrained fool who hatched this scheme, shows up in a little black dress, four-inch heels and a hairdo that is full of some sort of glitter.
“Tactical? Look at you!” I hiss, waving at her outfit and how ridiculous she looks in it when what we’re doing is going to amount to burglary.
Maybe even armed robbery if you count the hammer Kat is wielding because, according to Kat, you don’t sneak around in alleys unarmed and all she had as a weapon just happened to be a hammer. Call me crazy, but I think these are the two worst co-conspirators on earth—and Gia proves that when she stops, rises from her crouch and puts her hands on her hips.
“I’ll have you know I cut a date short just for this,” she sniffs, tossing her hair and cursing when it flicks into her face and gets stuck in her face paint.
I nearly laugh but the last time I did that she punched me in the tit. And it still hurts. She looks ridiculous, I look ridiculous—and Kat, oh, my God, poor Kat looks the worst, in a short miniskirt she wears to work at the bar to get more tips. But we’re doing this, and come hell or high water, I am getting that little bastard cat tonight, even if it kills me. I have to. I just have to do it because if I don’t, I’m in deep trouble. There are only so many fake dates I can go on and tell Cameron about before he figures out I’m lying.
Now, to be fair to myself, I am an excellent liar, so it’s not a problem. What is a problem is the way I feel when he’s around me and the way it’s starting to affect me. I think I actually like Cameron, and getting to know him as a friend is probably the worst decision I ever made because liking a man means… other things that are not smart because I’ve seen what liking someone does to me.
“You know we could totally go to jail for this—right?” Kat asks, her blonde hair peeking out from beneath the black beanie she’s wearing.
With a miniskirt, a tank-style waistcoat vest and black Vans.
“Oh, we know.”
“Okay. Great. Just as long as we’re all on the same page,” my best friend trills, seeming so unconcerned by the whole getting arrested thing, I am reminded of why we’re besties.
Who else would do this with me and actually alibi for a crime she herself committed? Not Gia, let me tell ya. The last time we broke-and-entered, she ran like her ass was on fire—and, granted, it was Simon’s house so the danger was minimal, but I got locked in his dark basement for an eternity, and that bitch got off scot-free. Okay, so it was an hour before Dad arrived, saw my hysterical state and started sobbing to save me, but still. It was dark down there, and I swear to God, his basement is haunted.
“Give me that freaking phone!” Gia snarls, grabbing my only safety blanket while Kat cackles beside me and I gasp.
“Hey.”
“Hey nothing. For the love of everything holy, Lu, you’re starting to become a pain in my ass, woman. The plan is simple. You already ripped off a key from Cameron, we have his security code thanks to your snooping, and if the night guards see you, they’ll be fine. We just go in, steal the kitten, and then Kat takes it home with her—and voila, parley solved. Cameron lost the kitten, you act all self-righteously offended, and we commence the hunt. Dad already said that if the kitten isn’t shared anymore, we have another round this weekend. So, really—”
“You get a chance to win the hunt, you win a hundred grand, and I risk getting arrested for catnapping,” I muse, because I am not unaware of how one-sided this is.
Why did I agree to this at all, you ask? Well, because it’s a Tuesday night, I was bored, and Kat called saying it was me or her stepfather for company. Not a great compliment, but since my boo Kat is here with me, I’m feeling solid. Besides, I cannot come over to this apartment again and be friends with Cameron. I just can’t. There’s only so much self-control a woman can be expected to have, and right now I have reached my limit. Absolute limit.
“Oh, stop being so dramatic. We’re not going to get caught, Lu. If what you said is true, then Cameron and his brothers are having a family night with their peeps—”
“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Kat moans, hissing when Gia slaps her and points a finger at her.
“This isn’t about sweet. This is about getting that kitten and getting the hell out of here. You two idiots comprehending me? Good. Now, we stay low. We stay quiet and we get into the building. If we succeed, then we’re golden,” she hums, sounding so dictatorial it reminds me of the time I was eighteen, going to prom, and Gia told me I just had to wax.
It won’t hurt, she said. She lied.
That dress looks great on you even though it’s a size too small. She lied.
It split down the back, my ass was hanging out, and I wasn’t wearing panties because, according to Gia, the lines would show and that’s gross and whorish. You want to know what’s gross and whorish? Showing your ass crack to a bunch of high school pervs and then going back to school the next Monday with everyone calling you Moonbeam. Because I mooned people.
Let’s just say I don’t really trust Gia, but save for me and Kat pulling this off, which won’t happen because we tend to panic in sticky situations, this is my only option. It’s that or throw myself at Cameron, which cannot happen. Absolutely cannot. I haven’t gone this long without sex just to fold the first time a good-looking man looks at me. I’ve made up my mind. I’m marrying a plain-looking guy with some beer-belly age, some hairy body parts—hopefully not the crotch because that’s just nasty—and I’m going to live out that life of mediocrity secure in the knowledge that he can’t do better than me and so will love me forever and with a devotion I deserve.
I’m in therapy already, so whatever you’re thinking, the joke’s on you. Lee already promised me I’m not nuts. Just brain-damaged.
“Okay. I can do th
at. Sounds simple,” Kat whispers like the poor naïve fool she is.
Poor thing. She has the memory of a goldfish and the sense of a penny. Lord love her, she just doesn’t seem to remember any of the shit we’ve gotten ourselves into—and I blame Gia for that. She knows Kat’s one of those people who don’t think before they leap. I should probably be a much better friend to her and tell her we’re probably going to get caught, but then I’d be all alone in prison, and I need a cell buddy who’ll have my back. Gia would probably get cornrows and nickname herself Slasher or something and then rule things. Which wouldn’t be great for me because she’d target me first.
God, it’s so great to have a family who loves me.
“Let’s move,” Gia hisses, tottering down the alley in her heels and then stopping at the end and shoving up a fist in one of those ways that army guys do in the movies.
I giggle while Kat snickers into her shoulder, and then we’re sneaking round the corner, once Gia is sure it’s all clear, following her into the parking garage and past the cars. The place is well lit, the first sign that this is probably going to go wrong, but me being me, I shake that off and tell myself it’s just a bad coincidence that doesn’t matter. The second, as we crab-walk our way deep into the place and towards the elevator, happens when we reach the thing and we’re faced with something I wasn’t anticipating.
“It has a card!”
“Well, I didn’t know that,” I hiss, biting back a groan when Gia grabs my nipple and twists. Hard.
“How the hell are we supposed to get in if there’s a card needed, Lu? Sheesh. You had one job. Access,” she huffs, her face comical in its blue paint when she snarls and her teeth pop bright white against the color.
I shouldn’t laugh. No—I can’t laugh right now because she’s still got my nipple in her grip and if I laugh, she will hurt it more. But God, it’s close. I’m a nervous laugher, and as I hear Kat whimper beside me, a sound she makes when she’s trying to keep her amusement in, it takes an inhuman effort not to giggle and set Gia off.