My Truth My Time My Turn

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My Truth My Time My Turn Page 19

by Shelia E. Bell


  As much as she didn’t want to think about either one of them, she thought about Hezekiah and Winston. How could she have wasted so many years being duped by Hezekiah? Back in the day no one could tell her anything about her husband. He was attentive to her needs and thought nothing of lavishing her with gifts from diamonds to pearls, to jet setting vacations, the finest of designer purses and clothes. Anything she wanted, Hezekiah would give it. One thing he didn’t give though was access to their money. What had she been thinking to let the man put everything in his name? I mean what sane woman or person does that? Was she that blindly in love with him? It was apparent she was. How else could she account for her stupidity and foolishness?

  Then there was Mr. Winston aka sleaze ball Washington. Tall, good-looking, successful, kind, a pretty good lay, and someone who didn’t mind showering her with his time and attention. In the end, he was nothing but a poisonous snake spewing his vicious lies and deceit into her life. He had played on her to the point she understood why Stiles guarded his heart and his love. It made perfect sense to her now.

  Running into Dr. Daniels at Holy Rock was a welcome distraction. He was the last person she would ever expect to see at her church, yet there he was. To top it off, he recognized her. Of all the number of patients and people she was sure he saw on a daily basis, he remembered her. When he asked for her number she told herself not to expect him to call, and if he did, she was not going to lose her cool. It would be good to have a male companion. Someone who she could laugh and talk to, maybe hang out with from time to time, but nothing serious. Her trust levels were at an all-time low and her radar at an all-time high. He would be just a friend—nothing more. It was her time to be on top, to speak her truth and to do her. No more falling head over heels for any man, no matter how good he appeared. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

  33

  “It has been a long time. I am so glad to be coming back home.” Wang Zhizhi

  Benny arrived and parked outside of the federal penitentiary in Millington, Tennessee waiting and watching. After sitting in the parking lot scrolling through his phone for the past hour and a half, he looked up and saw the familiar figure walking out of the gate. Shoulders back, head up, but with a slower stride than he was accustomed to seeing, George Reeves sauntered through the gates without looking back.

  Once on the other side of the gate, he stood still, looked around, and then saw the black Buick sedan slowly approach and stop in front of him.

  “Need a ride?” Benny teased.

  George walked up to the car, opened the door, and quickly got inside acting as if expecting someone to come, tap him on the shoulder, and say he wasn’t a free man after all. He inhaled and then slowly released a deep breath.

  Leaning in, he and Benny gave each other dap. “Man, it feels good. You have no idea.”

  “Yea, I know. A cop behind bars as a prisoner can be a dangerous thing, huh?”

  “Yea, but no more looking over my shoulder, not like that.”

  Benny drove out of the parking lot and then accelerated once he got out on the public highway.

  “Man, it’s good to have you out of that place.”

  “Man, it’s good to be out of that dungeon.”

  “Anywhere you wanna stop before I take you home to your waiting misses?”

  “She’s waited twenty four months, she can wait another coupla hours. Take me to that spot on Summer. You know the place.”

  “Yea, they have the best pancakes.”

  “I’ve been feening for some of them ever since I got locked up.” They drove and chatted up along the way. “Where’s my man?”

  “Hezekiah?”

  “You know it.”

  “He’s gearing up for his trial. Been going back and forth meeting his team of lawyers.”

  “Hopefully, they’ll get him off. It’s no fun being behind bars, fed time or not. But he knows about it. It wouldn’t be his first time, but no matter, you never get used to having your freedom taken away from you. Somebody telling you when to fart, when to shower, when to eat.”

  “I haven’t been there,” Benny said, “and I don’t plan on ever going.”

  “Where’s powder head?”

  Benny laughed as he made a right turn. “Dee?”

  “You know it.”

  “You know Hezekiah got rid of her. Haven’t seen or heard from her in months. She knows what’s good for her if she comes back around.”

  “I know he said he told her to get lost. Then again, she’s a hard one to get rid of. I thought she may have weaseled her way back around.”

  “Nah, I guess she understood Hezekiah wasn’t with the crap this time.”

  “You not serving her anymore?”

  Benny shook his head. “No way. When Hezekiah said cut her off, I cut her off.”

  “Hah, I wonder how she’s dealing with that?”

  “I don’t know and I sure as heck don’t care.”

  “What about my lady. You seen her?”

  “Yea, last week. Man, your wife is a real trooper. She’s down for you, but I’m not telling you nothing you don’t know already.”

  “Yea she is. Between her, you, and Hezekiah keeping money on my books, I was straight as straight could be up in there. She stayed writing me letters and sending me pictures. Kept me in the loop about what was going on out here.”

  Benny nodded.

  “After I feed my face, I need you to take me to your spot, hook me up with one of your honeys before I go home to the wife. Know what I mean?”

  Benny chuckled, “You know it ain’t nothing but a word. Man, it’s good to have you home.”

  “Hit up Hezekiah for me.”

  “Here.” Benny passed George a brand new smart phone. “It’s already charged.”

  “This me?”

  “Of course it is.”

  “Thanks, Cuz.”

  “You know I got to look out for you.”

  “What’s Hezekiah’s phone number?”

  Benny recited Hezekiah’s phone number.

  George dialed the number and listened as the phone rang.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  “Yea, I know. Got your number saved into my phone. Welcome home, Georgie boy.”

  “I’m headed to snap up something to eat and then Benny is going to take me on an adventure to meet one of his honeys before I head to the house.”

  Hezekiah laughed. “Good for you. I have to meet with my attorneys in a couple of hours. Whaddaya say we meet up out here at my place later tonight or tomorrow.”

  “Probably tomorrow. I got to spend time with the wife, you know.”

  “Understood.”

  “Okay, so we’ll talk later.”

  “Yea…and welcome home, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  Hezekiah ended the call.

  34

  “Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” Bikram Choudhury

  Detria’s self-made promise to make a change in her life was slowly working for her. She wasn’t using as much as she used to, mainly because of Hezekiah cutting her off. It was hard to find another supplier, at least one that she trusted to give her the best of the best. She continued to battle with her addiction but she refused to go into rehab. Hezekiah telling Benny to cut her off was probably a blessing in disguise. However, the withdrawals from the drug, though not as serious as withdrawing from other hard drugs like opioids and heroin, Detria experienced the more psychological withdrawal than anything. Unfortunately, it didn’t necessarily make cocaine withdrawal any easier to cope with. Part of the withdrawal symptoms she’d read about online were applicable to her, but she fought hard to deal with getting off the drug.

  Depression was probably the hardest. She felt unhappy, had anxiety, was irritable with Priscilla more than usually. Her sleep was uneasy as she was attacked by nightmares and lucid type dreams.

  One thing she inco
rporated into her life was prayer. She kept her promise to Priscilla and attended church with her almost every Sunday, unless she had a tough night dealing with her uneasy sleep patterns.

  Priscilla was a lifeline for Detria. Knowing about Detria’s addiction, was a good thing for Detria because Priscilla did whatever she could to help her through the tough times of withdrawal.

  Another source of support, although she didn’t know that her sister was addicted to cocaine, was Brooke. Brooke knew Detria used to smoke weed, and she’d known her to dabble in using other drugs, but never knew that addiction had taken hold of her little sister.

  Detria, nonetheless, reached out to Brooke and the two of them rekindled their sibling relationship. Brooke was ecstatic, and so were their parents. Detria hardly ever visited or called her parents or her sister, but all that was changing, and the family was grateful. Her mother was especially happy. Seeing her daughter more was an answered prayer. Now all she needed was for Detria to reach out to Elijah, her seven-year old son.

  Elijah was growing up fast and the only mother he truly accepted was his stepmother. It was no fault of his own, and Detria understood that. It wasn’t her fault she never wanted children, and after having lost Baby Audrey in that horrific crash, she couldn’t see herself being a full-time mother to any child. Elijah, she felt was better off living with his father and his father’s wife.

  “Brooke, what time will you be here?” Detria asked her sister.

  “I should be on my way in about ten minutes. I took these pot pies out of the oven for the boys and John since I won’t be here when they get home from the game. All I have to do now is get my bag and keys and I’ll be heading out the door.”

  “Okay, see you soon.”

  Detria, Brooke, and their mom had a full Saturday planned. It had been years since the three of them spent time together like this. Occasionally, Detria visited her parents and her sister and her family, but those time were few and far between. Detria’s life had been blinded by self-sabotage. She allowed the drugs to overtake her. Her need for acceptance since the accident was paramount in her life, causing her to accept being treated less than by not only men but people in general. It was time out for that. No matter how much she cared about Khalil McCoy, she had to keep telling herself the truth—he did not want her. He used her, got her money, her body, and what had she gotten in return? Nothing but heartache. It was the story of her life, from being kicked to the curb by Stiles, Skip, Hezekiah, and most recently Khalil, she was ashamed and embarrassed. Today was a new day and she was going to make the best of it. Hopefully, once she got her life together, things would start working out for her. It surely couldn’t get any worse. At least she hoped it couldn’t.

  The weather was pleasant but on the cooler side so Detria dressed warm in a long sleeve watercolor print tunic, a pair of straight leg jeans and a pair of burgundy knee length riding boots. For the first time in a minute, she was excited for what the day with her sister and mom might bring.

  “Looking forward to seeing you when I come back,”

  Stiles texted Victoria while he sat on the plane waiting for takeoff.

  He’d seen her twice before leaving for Houston, and boy was he glad he did. Once they met for lunch during her lunch break at work. Last night, he picked her up for dinner and they went to a Mexican restaurant. Again, he couldn’t quite define why, but he found her to be easy to talk to and even easier on the eyes. A beautiful, brown-haired, stylish woman, intelligent, with an adventurous side he found titillating. He really liked her and he wanted to get to know more about her.

  This might be the perfect friendship. I’m based in Houston; she’s in Memphis. She has her own life, career, and the distance would keep us, or me, from taking things too far too fast. This might work after all.

  He sent a final text.

  “About to take off. Have to turn off the phone.”

  Victoria read the text and smiled. He’s so sweet and thoughtful. I could really like you, Reverend Stiles Graham. I could like you a lot.

  “Ok. Hav a safe flight. Call or text later if you want to.”

  Stiles smiled when he read her reply. See, that’s what I’m talking about. No pressure. He put his phone on AIRPLANE MODE, rested his head against the headrest, and closed his eyes. It had been a good trip to Memphis.

  “Just three more weeks and you should be out of that chair. Isn’t that exciting?” Pepper sat curled up on the living room sofa with Xavier watching the History Channel, chumping pizza, drinking sparkling water, and talking in between commercials.

  “I can’t wait. I’m sick of being cooped up in this apartment.”

  “Awe, so you don’t like being cooped up in this apartment with me?” Pepper made a funny, pouty face and Xavier laughed.

  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “Yep, I know you can’t resist me.” She laughed, then straddled him, and kissed him without abandonment. She pulled back and still straddled across his lap. Reaching over to her left, she picked up the remote and pushed the PAUSE button.

  “What are you doing?”

  “How do you feel about me, Xavier?”

  “Huh, what are you talking about? Where is this coming from?”

  “How do you feel about me? It’s a simple question that requires a simple answer.”

  Xavier took hold of her shoulders and looked into Pepper’s chocolate brown eyes. How did he feel about her? Every time that question came across his mind he pushed it aside. He liked Pepper, but she was the first and only heterosexual relationship he’d had in his twenty-one years on earth. What was he to compare their relationship to? Before Pepper, he had no desire to be with a girl. He called himself having a girlfriend when he was about twelve but even then it didn’t feel right. Pepper had hit the nail on the head when she told him she believed he had been molested as a kid. He admitted to her she was right. Was that why he was gay? Was that why this relationship he and Pepper were in felt awkward? They were the best of friends. They had many things in common. They understood one another, at least he thought they did so why was she asking him about his feelings? Yes, he was able to perform as a heterosexual man, and she seemed pleased with his performance, but even so, there was something missing for him. He was satisfied but he wasn’t satisfied. It didn’t make sense. He was confused and he didn’t know how to explain it, but how could he get Pepper to see it?

  ”I’m waiting.” Pepper’s anxiety level started to rise the longer Xavier remained silent. He was looking at her but the look in his eyes gave her the impression he was looking past her, like his mind was on something, or someone, else.

  “I don’t know. Look, one thing that makes this work for us is we’ve always been able to tell each other everything. I’ve shared things with you I’ve never shared with anyone.”

  “So what’s different now?”

  “I don’t know, Pepper. I like you a whole lot. We get along. We like a lot of the same things. Even the sexual part of our relationship is good, but…”

  “But what, Xavier? Talk to me.”

  “It still doesn’t feel quite right. It’s like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. You know what I mean? I don’t know how else to express it.”

  Pepper looked back into his eyes and then she kissed him. Not a passionate kiss this time, but a light kiss. “We should get married.”

  Xavier reared his head back, taken totally off guard with her statement. “What?”

  “You said it yourself. We make a good team. We enjoy the same things. We make each other happy. We’re good together when it comes to sex. Plus, we like each other. We don’t have to be in love. I think love is overrated anyway. And this tug of war you have going on with your sexuality is no different than someone who says they’re in love with two people.”

  “Uh, okay, but how will marriage solve anything? What will it prove?”

  “It will prove that we’re two young people who have the same goals, dreams, desires, and aspirations. You
’ve said you wanted children one day. We can make children, Xavier. We can make beautiful children—together. Soon or later those feelings you’re at war with will dissipate and we’ll be even happier than we are now.”

  Xavier listened. What Pepper was saying made some sense. But whether he was gay or not, was he ready for marriage? For a lifetime commitment with Pepper? If he was with Ian or some other man would he be ready to settle down and have a family at the age of twenty-one?

  “If you’re thinking about how young we both are, that’s a no-brainer because couples our age get married every day, Xavier. And you know I’ll support you and be behind you in whatever career you choose. Whether that means remaining at Holy Rock or if you want to move away and go follow your dreams somewhere totally different. I’m a free spirit. I just want us to be together. You’re my best friend.”

  Xavier looked at her again and hugged her tightly. “And you’re mine, Pepper. I love you.”

  Pepper pulled back. This time he saw tears in her eyes and Pepper never cried. “I love you. So what do you say?”

  “I say, let’s do this.”

  35

  “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam Keen

  Eliana and Khalil’s relationship was growing stronger every day. Khalil allowed a piece of his heart to be given to Eliana. He was preparing himself for his first lady. He didn’t know when it would be, but he planned to ask for her hand in marriage.

  “I say if you don’t love her, don’t do it, man,” Omar told him as they stood outside the gym talking after their work out.

  “That’s it. I’ve never been in love. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”

 

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