by Harlow James
When Ethan moved from Ashland to Emerson Falls, I remember him telling me about Tony’s Bar, saying it was the best hangout for him and his buddies. The age range of patrons varied, but everyone seemed to be in there for the same reason—to let loose and relax after a hard day’s work. Seeing as this is my first time here, I can see the charm of the place. The light wood panels on the walls match the long bar stationed along the back of the room. Overhead lights hang above tables and booths providing just enough luminosity to see each other while having conversations, and an eclectic mix of music blares from the speakers, catering to the wide spread of musical tastes based on age range in the room—everything from classic rock like Van Halen and Def Leppard, to newer artists like Katy Perry and Billie Eilish.
And now that I see a group of women varying in age as well across the room, one of them being the black-haired mystery girl that’s making my heart beat frantically, I can see how this place appeals to the masses. But before I can talk myself out of who I think she is, a slight turn of her head confirms it.
Holy fuck! It’s her—Jess, my miniature vixen from the hospital that has thoroughly impressed me over the past week and rattled my mind since moving back home. And now that I know it’s her, the rest of the faces of the women register as well, all fellow nurses from the hospital, but a few from different departments other than emergency. And damn, she looks good out of her scrubs and in a real-life setting—elated, maybe a little tipsy, and flashing a blinding smile to her group of friends while clearly having fun here tonight.
“I think we found a winner,” Ethan pulls me from the intense reaction my body is having right now to seeing her outside of the hospital, forcing me to clear the lump that formed in my throat as soon as I realized I truly want to know her like this—like two people who aren’t a nurse or a doctor, but just a man and woman that find each other insanely attractive.
And I know that Jess reciprocates those feelings because when I caught her starting at my ass the other day, her cheeks instantly reddened. But I feel like her eyes are always on me when we work together. And the truth is, mine are always on her too. I can’t help it. There’s something about this tiny woman that has fascinated me since the moment I saw her angry in a coffee shop.
“Really? Who?” I croak out, trying to mask my desperation and rattled nerves.
“The redhead. Twelve o’clock.” Ethan throws his head towards the group of girls that Jess is sitting with as my eyes narrow in on a cute little ginger perched on a stool a few seats down from my girl.
But she’s not your girl yet, is she? And do you even want that? Don’t you have enough on your plate right now, Brooks?
“Nice. She’s cute. You know her?” I point my eyes in that direction, but I barely glanced at Ethan’s girl before locking in on my interest. I know the last thing I should do right now is become involved with someone, let alone one of my co-workers. But this woman makes me laugh with how sassy she is and how she distracts me from the reality I’m avoiding—that my mom has breast cancer and might die.
Ethan nods slowly, his lips curling up at the same speed. “She’s a nurse at the hospital. All of those women are. Don’t you recognize some of them?”
“Yeah, a few look familiar. But I’m stuck down in the ER most of the time. I don’t get out of there much and I’m still getting to know everyone.”
“Well, they come in here once a month to let loose. I’ve been trying to show Sarah that I’m interested, but I don’t know if she knows it.” My poor cousin. The guy is so down to earth and hardworking, but his lack of height usually deters women from giving him a chance. While I’m two inches taller than six feet, my cousin comes in at just five-seven. He’s built though, putting in time at the gym to mold a muscular body and he’s an honest, reliable guy. But most girls aren’t comfortable dating a guy shorter than them, or even giving him a chance because he doesn’t tower over the rest of his friends.
“Come on, man. If you’re interested in a girl, you need to be straight with her. Don’t beat around the bush. March up to her and let her know you like her, no bullshit. Women respect that.” Again, easy for me to dish out advice even though I’ve avoided getting attached to a woman in years. One semi-serious relationship in college that ended badly was enough for me to know that I didn’t need that distraction from achieving my goals. Plus, I didn’t have much time to date when I spent fourteen to twenty-four hours a day in a hospital.
“You’re right. Maybe Jess can help me out with getting her to see me too.”
“Wait… you know Jess?”
“Duh. I see her in the ER all the time. Come to think of it, shouldn’t you know who Jess is by now?”
I sit back in my seat, studying her from across the bar. “Yeah, I know who she is.”
“Uh oh,” Ethan mocks me. “You have that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The look that you got back in high school before you’d take the field for a game. It’s a cross between determination and infatuation.”
“Are you saying I was infatuated with football?” I glare over at him.
He laughs. “You would get so into the game, it was like nothing else existed when you were in that frame of mind. And that’s exactly how you look right now.”
My eyes veer over at Jess again to take in the natural beauty she possesses. Her long black hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail that I would love nothing more than to pull the elastic from to let it fall freely. Her hair is always up when we’re at work, which makes me itch to see how beautiful it looks when it’s fanned out across her back. Her silky skin is exposed in a cream sweater that has cutouts on the shoulders and a deep neckline. She’s more dolled up tonight that she normally is in the hospital, not that she needs the make-up anyway. Her grey eyes do enough damage to my mind without added shimmer when she dials in to a patient and flips that switch to determined nurse, making my dick harden in my scrubs—which is very hard to conceal, just so you’re aware.
“Yeah, we’ve crossed path a few times now. She’s incredible. Knows her shit.”
“Why don’t you go talk to her?” He nudges my arm, making me almost knock over my empty bottle.
“What the hell, man?”
“Sorry,” he chuckles. “What have you got to lose?”
“I don’t know, Ethan. I mean, first of all, we work together. It’s not like we can’t date, it just might not be the best idea. And besides that, I have a lot on my plate right now with my mom.”
“Just because your mom is battling cancer,” he whispers, “doesn’t mean that your life has to stop. I’m not saying marry the girl tonight, Brooks. I’m saying, go talk to her. Believe me, you could do a lot worse than Jessalyn Harris. And weren’t you the one that just told me that if I like a girl, I should be honest with her about it?”
I laugh knowingly and then rub my sweaty palms along my jeans, preparing to stand. “Fine. But if I’m going over there, you’ve gotta come too and talk to the redhead.”
“Duh,” he scoffs and then we both prepare to stand. “Hey, before I forget, I’m going to this speed dating event at the new comedy club in town next weekend. You should come with me.”
I shoot him a confused look. “Uh, why would I go to that when you just tried to convince me to talk to Jess?”
His devious grin builds. “What if I told you that I know for a fact that Jess is going?”
That makes my eyebrows pop up. “Really?”
He nods. “Yup. And if the idea of her talking to a bunch of other single men doesn’t sit well with you, I’d say that’s a good enough reason to go.”
As soon as he mentions other guys getting to talk to Jess, my insides twist and a rush of irritation runs through me. Fuck. I don’t want other guys to hit on her, talk to her, enjoy her sass and intelligence. I want that for myself, damn it.
Holy shit. Where did that caveman declaration come from?
Am I really doing this? Am I really going to pursue a woman aft
er being home for just two weeks? A woman that is my co-worker on top of that?
“Fine. I’ll go.” Apparently I am.
Ethan chuckles. “I thought that might be enough to convince you.” We head to the bar with our empty beer bottles to return while ordering another round. Ethan stands beside me as we wait for our drinks and I inhale a deep breath of courage.
“Fuck. Why am I so nervous?” I laugh.
Ethan slaps me hard on the back. “Mister hot-shot-ER-doctor is nervous to talk to a girl? Shouldn’t you be more uneasy seeing blood and guts every day?”
“Nope. That stuff actually calms me.”
He shakes his head at me. “You’re a weird dude.”
I take a sip of my ice cold beer and then start to move. “Okay. Let’s do this.” My feet shuffle across the hardwood in what feels like slow motion as we close in on the table where the nurses are gathered. Jess’s eyes pop up from the flat top and find mine instantly, widening as she takes me in.
“Hey, ladies,” Ethan greets the group as I stand there, showcasing confidence on the outside, but borderline panicking on the inside. “We wanted to come over and say hi. You all know my cousin, Brooks?”
“Ethan! Brooks is your cousin? How did I not know this?” The head nurse, Alice, jumps from her seat and makes her way over to hug me. “This is the kind of thing I should know.” And it’s true, because I quickly figured out that Alice knows just about everything around the hospital.
“Sorry I didn’t lead with that on the first day,” I joke.
“Always with the sarcasm, Dr. Bennet.”
“Please, call me Brooks outside of the hospital.”
She pinches my cheek and then smacks it for good measure. “As you wish. Come, come! Take a seat! Join in on the party. It’s our ladies’ night, but you handsome men are always welcome.” I notice an empty chair next to Piper, who’s seated next to Jess. As my eyes veer to it, I can sense that Piper inadvertently reads my mind when she stands abruptly.
“Here, Brooks. I’ll just scooch over and you can sit here.” She hops from one stool to the other and then pats the one she vacated as Jess narrows her eyes at her friend.
“Is it okay that I sit here?” I ask Jess before she glances up at me and smooths flyaway hairs from her face. Seeing her this close just reminds me of how gorgeous she is, which makes my nervousness escalate as I take the seat.
“Well, seems you didn’t give me a choice either way.”
“I really was just asking to be polite. But don’t worry, I won’t use my manners any more if it makes you angry again.” Her sexy smirk is back as I tease her.
“Of course you can sit here, Brooks.” She reaches for her drink, which looks like a vodka and cranberry that’s almost empty.
“Can I get you a refill?”
She shakes her head. “It’s alright. I’m getting up soon anyway.”
“You’re leaving?” I feel my anticipation dissipate with her words.
“No—” she starts, but the sudden echo of the DJ’s voice over the loudspeaker causes us to both stall in our movements.
“It’s time for karaoke! Where’s Jess at? Jess! You out there, little lady?”
My head spins back to her as she smiles big and then brushes past me and the girls encourage her loudly before she makes her way to the stage.
“She’s singing karaoke?” I lean over and ask Piper as she claps wildly.
“Oh yeah. She does every night we come in here. She’s got an amazing voice, too.”
“Huh.” It takes a lot to surprise me, and I’d say each tidbit of information I learn about Jess is adding to my interest.
Piper twists on her stool to face me while the DJ and Jess have a private conversation across the bar, preparing for her performance. “Listen… this may be out of line, but here’s what I see. You like her and she likes you. She’s convinced you two shouldn’t become involved because we all work together and she’s had her heart broken a time or two, as has anyone. But if you’re serious about her, Brooks, show her. Because that girl up there,” she pauses and points in the direction of the stage, “that woman has so much to offer the right man. Sometimes she’s her own worst enemy, but most of the time, she’s just chosen the wrong guy. But don’t hurt her, or I’ll come after you. And I’ve survived a gunshot wound. I’m feisty, you understand?”
I can’t help but grin at this woman that is being so transparent for her friend because I know that Piper is right. And as I watch Jess sing the opening lines to Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar—swaying her hips and immersing herself in the song like no one else is watching—my stomach twists at the notion that I need to know her. I’m drawn to her, and it has to be for a reason, because that doesn’t happen to me.
Once Jess finishes her song, the bar erupts in cheers and clapping. She waves and then steps off the stage, making her way back over to the table.
“Jess! You nailed that one, honey!” Alice commends her from across the table.
“Thanks. My mom always had Pat Benatar playing at home while we cleaned, so I knew I could belt that one out.” She winks and then takes a sip of her vodka and cranberry, her eyes falling down to the table as her face falls flat for just a brief moment before she’s smiling again. The movement was so subtle most everyone probably didn’t think twice about it. But I saw it, and it spiked my curiosity a bit more.
“Hey… where’d you go just now?”
Her eyes pop up to meet mine with a paranoid gaze. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know,” I stumble, studying the change in her demeanor for a moment. “You just seemed like you got sad all of a sudden.”
Her lips thin out in a tight-lipped smile that feels more forced than natural. “Nope. I’m fine. I love to sing.”
“Well, I was definitely impressed.” The admiration I offer helps her soften and draws her attention, which helps me keep this momentum of celebration going instead of wondering why she seemed down right after her performance.
“Thank you.”
“So apparently you have other skills not related to nursing?”
She grins and then turns on her stool so we’re facing each other head on. “I do have a life outside of the hospital, you know?”
There’s that sass again. I haven’t seen it since Skye’s, which makes me think maybe she’s all business when we’re at work. And now I want her to play with me a bit. “Is that right? Please enlighten me with your other skills then.”
She narrows her eyes at me suspiciously. “Is that supposed to be dirty?”
“Not unless you want it to be.”
Her jaw falls open and that blush I’ve grown to love on her cheeks grows exponentially. “Dr. Bennet! I don’t know that that’s appropriate to say to your colleague.”
I chuckle and then take a sip of my beer. “Please call me Brooks when we’re not at work. And I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I was just trying to be playful.”
“I figured.”
“So, please continue. What other hidden talents do you have besides an incredible singing voice?”
Jess blushes again at my compliment and then looks to the ceiling while she thinks. “Well, I’m extremely organized—like, if I wasn’t a nurse, I could probably pimp out my organizational skills.” She chuckles and I do the same. “And I can devour an entire family-size bag of potato chips in one sitting.”
“That is rather impressive,” I chide as she giggles, the alcohol clearly taking effect.
Jess’s face turns serious rather quickly before she changes the topic on me. “Hey, I meant to ask you the other day… what happened to that twelve-year-old girl that came in from that car accident?”
I bow my head, focusing on my drink while trying to maintain my composure. “She—she’s in a coma.” The image of her parent’s faces all battered and bruised from the impact still flash through my mind randomly, especially when I told them there was a possibility she wasn’t waking up.
“Oh
, no. I’m sorry to hear that.” Jess’s hand closes over mine and the warmth of her touch ebbs the lack of control I feel right now.
“It’s been hard not to think about if I’m being honest. Cases with kids are always the hardest for me to handle. One of the parts of the job that sucks, right?”
“Definitely. Some days I question whether this was the right choice, but I try to remember the successful cases tend to outnumber the hard ones.” She speaks the words I couldn’t have said better myself, her positivity tugging at the corner of my mouth, forcing me to crack a lopsided smile again.
“Yeah. That’s true.” I continue to stare at her while we both absorb the turn our conversation just took.
“Sorry. I guess I put a damper on the energy just now, didn’t I?” She laughs nervously, but I can tell that she’s still feeling the same emotions I am.
Working in life or death situations all day can jade your perceptions of the world if you let it, pulling you under a black cloud of doubt and negativity. I learned early on from a mentor how necessary it is to mentally separate your job from the rest of your life, lest you end up in a permanent state of depression, or ultimately want to quit. Acceptance is the key, and the hardest part of working with people every day.
You won’t save every person. The outcome of every case will not be the best-case scenario. But you do your best each day and hope that the good outweighs the bad.
And as I stare at Jess while her eyes survey the room, I realize she’s one of the few women I’ve ever met that I feel understands that. She gets that pressure. She somehow knows the words to say to alleviate the torture I feel when a patient won’t make it. And I’ve never felt that before from a woman, let alone a woman I work with.
“No. I appreciate that you were concerned. But, I think we should just focus on the point of this evening now—and that was to have fun outside of the hospital, right?”