Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  Galdren looked past Avila to the window and was surprised to find it was dark already. Even though the days were getting shorter, he hadn’t realized they were talking for so long. He turned back to her to see she had also looked at the window and was just as shocked to find the blackness beyond the panes.

  “Tomorrow will be a long day for both of us. I will talk to Olva before I leave and have her come up tonight to help you start gathering your things before you retire. We will move everything tomorrow. Please make sure you don’t stay up too late tonight. It will be rough on you if you do.” He could see her anxiety returning a little.

  He knew it was a gamble, but he couldn’t stand to see her vulnerable. He got up in one swift motion and knelt by her side before taking her hands in his, and was relieved when she didn’t pull away. He sat there holding her hands for a few moments, all the while staring into her eyes and willing her to see the comforting thoughts in his. It didn’t take long before he realized it was a mistake for him to get so close to her, and that staring into her eyes was a sweet type of torture.

  Before he realized what he was doing, he had raised his hand and brushed her hair behind her ear. The sizzling contact of her skin beneath his fingers jolted him back to his senses. He was at a precipice. It took all his strength to cup her head to bend it, so he could kiss her forehead chastely instead of kissing her the way he wanted to.

  As soon as his lips left her skin, he was up and away from her before he did something genuinely terrible again. He knew he would need to guard his actions once they were in the castle. And she was worried about her behavior—ha, she was a saint next to him.

  He could tell she was confused by his actions, and maybe a little hurt. He damned himself for that last since he was trying to help alleviate her pain, and he knew he had to get out of the room quickly. “I will send Olva up, and I will be back in the morning so we can get everything moved. I will also talk to Professor Gilbert about the venue change. I doubt it will be a problem for him.”

  He stepped to the door but turned before his hand touched the handle. “Good night, Avila. Sleep well, and I will see you tomorrow.” He didn’t dare wait for a response.

  ―

  The endearing sweetness of his kiss to her forehead had shocked Avila, but his more-than-abrupt departure directly afterward left her reeling. She couldn’t make sense of any of his actions. She was still sitting there puzzled when Olva showed up a short while later.

  The efficient housekeeper had her up and moving in no time, but she packed in a daze. Her books and clothes all went into the boxes that Olva had brought up and made ready, and any conversation Olva made seemed to pass right over Avila. It wasn’t that she didn’t respond, but her mind was still whirling with all the possibilities, and she had a hard time focusing. Luckily for her, Olva had never been big on idle conversation.

  It did strike her before the woman left that she would miss the capable housekeeper being around every day and wondered if she would ever see her again. Somehow, she knew that Olva’s post was here and not at the castle. As they were laying out the clothes she would wear the next day, she suddenly turned to Olva and pulled her into a quick hug.

  “Thank you for everything you have done for me while I was here. I don’t know if I have said it near enough times as you deserve it.” Avila could tell Olva was embarrassed, and she understood, but she wasn’t about to let her walk out without letting her know how she felt. Still, she didn’t force the moment to linger. Once Olva was gone, she took one last look around to make sure nothing was missed and found that she had mixed feelings about leaving.

  If she was willing to admit it to herself, the last several months with Galdren had become like a little piece of time outside the rest of the world. Now the rest of the world was getting ready to intrude again. She wasn’t sure she was prepared for that, even with all the ups and downs she had been through.

  It was amazing how much her life had changed, and herself along with it. She was still trying to figure out if it was for the better or not, but since there was no going back, she just kept trying to go forward, looking for the positive.

  Not finding anything left to do and knowing tomorrow would indeed be a long day in more ways than one, Avila turned to her sleeping chambers. She paused as she remembered that she needed to call and let her parents know about the move. Lissa as well. If she didn’t, they would all be upset, and she knew the following day was likely to be long.

  ―

  The next morning, Avila was up before her timeglass had even warned her it was time to awaken. She took her time with her morning preparations. Not that there was a lot to do, but she felt like she needed to savor the moments. Though this was the location of a turning point in her life, she had to admit that it wasn’t all bad. She also knew that this place would forever remain in her heart as where she fell in love.

  The thought had struck her as she was getting ready. Things were funny that way, she guessed. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, not even to herself, but she was in love with Galdren. Not that it mattered any more now than it had the night before. At that thought, she had to stop what she was doing until she could get herself under control. The last thing she needed that morning was for Olva—or worse, Galdren—to walk in and find her crying.

  Even if she could admit her feelings to herself, there was no way under the sun she was ever going to burden Galdren with the knowledge. She could be content with sharing his time as a friend and be happy to be around him, at least. She didn’t want to imagine the awkwardness any kind of confession might cause.

  As she finished packing the last of her things, she heard movement in her sitting room. She hoped it was Olva with breakfast, but knew it could just as easily be Galdren with the movers. Either way, there was only one way to find out.

  She headed out and left her packed box behind. She knew they would get it when they came in to get the rest. It was Olva with breakfast, but Galdren was just coming in the door as well.

  “Good, you are up already.” His smile was warm and crinkled his eyes just a little. With her recent self-examinations, that smile made it hard for her to remember that she was all right with just being friends. She shoved those thoughts into a dark corner of her mind and returned his smile.

  “I’ve been up for a little while. Everything is ready to go as soon as we finish breakfast and the movers get here.” She had to laugh a little at his raised eyebrows. “Oh, my apologies Your Highness, did you actually want to do some packing yourself?”

  “Your Highness?”

  Avila did not miss the flash that marred Galdren’s face. Although she had made the remark in jest, it had obviously bothered him in some way. “In all seriousness Galdren, although I have become accustomed to not using your title, I will have to adjust to using it when we are around other people. Somehow, I doubt a flippant attitude toward the crown prince will be allowed. Honestly, I am surprised I wasn’t punished because of my outburst in front of your father, even if it was justified.”

  Galdren took a deep breath, nodded, then answered, “You’re right, Avila; I had not thought about that. I like that you don’t call me by my title, and having that change will be unfortunate for me too. The fact is there will be a lot of changes, but we can go over the bulk of that once we get you moved. I want to get this part over with early today. We are both still learning; there will be new things all the time.”

  By that time, Olva had already brought up a second tray, so they both sat down, now in relative silence. Although the mood wasn’t dark, they were both contemplative. After they both finished, Olva came back up and cleared away the trays. While they had been eating, men had been taking what few boxes Avila had down to the vehicles. All that was left now was for Avila and Galdren to leave.

  Avila had made sure to set her coat out. Although it wasn’t as cold in the capital as it had been up in the mountains, it was still starting to
get chilly. Once she had her coat on, they walked out the door for the last time. She looked behind her to her window seat, knowing she would probably never sit there again, and gave one last sigh.

  As they walked down the hall and toward the steps, it was strange to think that only two days ago, she was walking the same path with such glee for the first time and thinking about all the times to come. Now she was walking it for the last time. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing, but it didn’t feel entirely right, and she had to reprimand herself mentally for starting to lose control.

  Once they reached the bottom, Galdren put his hand on her shoulder. “Wait here a moment. I want to make sure they have everything secure before we go outside.”

  Surprisingly, he didn’t use his com unit. He walked out the door, leaving her alone for a moment. She took the opportunity to look around one last time and say goodbye to the life she had come to know and love. When she felt the tears fall, she quickly wiped them away lest Galdren come back and see them. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice anything amiss.

  He returned a few minutes later and gave her a quizzical look, but didn’t ask any questions. “Everything is ready now. Let’s go.” He held out his hand to her and waited until she crossed the room. When she put her hand in his, he opened the door again, and they both walked out.

  The feeling of déjà vu was even stronger out here. There were two hovercars with Randy and Baxter standing next to the first one. “We’ll be riding in the first transport with Randy and Baxter again. There are a few things in that one, but the majority of your things are in the second hovercar with the gentlemen that moved the boxes.”

  She shook off the eerie feeling and looked at Galdren. Since his instructions were almost identical to the ones from two days ago, she was ready. It was also what she had expected. “Lead the way.”

  Randy already had the door open, and Galdren helped her in. He followed her quickly, and the door was shut directly behind him. She was beginning to wonder if her life going forward would always consist of such tight security measures if she had to be near him all the time. The thought made her panic just a little. She wasn’t sure she could live with all that pomp. Then again, she guessed she didn’t have much choice now that she was going to live in the castle.

  She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. When she opened them, she found Galdren watching her. “It will be all right, you know. Different for you, I’m sure, but you are meant to be part of something bigger, and this will only help you.” He was so earnest that she didn’t have the heart to tell him she’d never wanted to be part of something bigger.

  18. Into the Castle

  Since they were so close to the castle, it was an extremely short trip. As they stopped at the entrance they had used before, the same valet came out, but Randy stopped him before he could take the transport. “There are some things of Lady Durant’s in this vehicle. Please take it to the dock for unloading and make sure her boxes make it to her suite.” The valet nodded his understanding and quickly took the hovercar in the same direction as the other one.

  Everyone except for Avila had already started for the entrance. It only took them a few steps before they noticed that she was not with them. As one, they all turned in her direction. “Lady Durant? Did I suddenly develop a title with the move, or is this something you forgot to tell me about?”

  Galdren looked embarrassed. “Will you please walk with me while I explain? I didn’t mean to keep it secret; I just planned on telling you later, that’s all.”

  While only barely mollified, Avila agreed to move. Once they were in the confines of the long hall, she turned her gaze to Galdren once more. “So, if you didn’t plan on keeping secrets, what is going on?”

  Galdren blushed slightly. “Well, while I was taking care of things for the move yesterday, I also took care of something else. Something that I feel is far past due. You see, now that I know who you are, I mean, you know, with the Park Bill and all, well, I thought you should be recognized. I went to my father and explained. He agreed.”

  By that point, Avila had already figured out the gist of the situation, or she thought she had at least, and she was mortified. “You had your father give me a title for doing that? Why? I’ve told you before, I don’t want anything for what I do, I don’t do it for reward, and I don’t want it.” She could feel herself growing red in the face.

  Behind them, Randy made a loud noise. Avila heard and turned to look at him. When she caught his eye and he raised a brow, she realized they were still in the middle of the castle hall, and she had just been yelling at the heir. Her hand came up to her mouth, and she turned an even deeper shade of red. She nodded once to Randy and then turned around silently.

  Galdren, clearly confused, glanced between her and Randy, then shrugged and continued moving. They went through several turns and saw a few people, but most looked like servants. It seemed to Avila that they might be taking a longer route to avoid castle traffic. When they finally reached her rooms, she saw two men standing outside. She immediately recognized them. “Lee, Jacob, what are you two doing here?”

  “Um, ma’am, we’re here to guard you and your room.” Lee was replying to her question, but he kept looking at Galdren. He and Jacob both bowed when they saw them approach. It seemed they wanted to make sure they didn’t mess up.

  Avila had to try hard not to roll her eyes, both at the idea of needing a guard and at their evident desire to impress. Instead, she tried her best to be appreciative. “That is very kind. Can we go in now?” At her innocuous question, they both jumped to open the door. Once it was, Randy and Baxter did a quick once over to make sure nothing was amiss in the rooms and then headed back out, presumably to stand guard with Lee and Jacob. Avila and Galdren entered once the room was cleared.

  ―

  Now that they were alone again, Galdren gave Avila a curious look as she stood there for a few moments, then took a deep breath before she said anything. “I apologize for acting like a harridan. I told you just earlier today I should watch my actions here in the castle, and the first thing I do when we get here is start yelling at you. I have no sense.”

  Suddenly, a light bulb came on for Galdren. That was why she went silent after Randy caught her attention. It wasn’t that she had given up; she realized where she was and didn’t want to cause any embarrassment or issues. By the goddess, at least she had brains—more than him, apparently. “Avila, you had enough sense to stop. I must also apologize for not saying anything. I wanted to tell you once we got to your suite, and we had time to discuss it.”

  By then, Avila’s anger had apparently cooled. She sighed and shook her head as she responded, “Okay, we are here now, and I promise I won’t blow up again, so please explain to me what happened.”

  Galdren was shocked that she was so calm now compared to earlier, but he took the opportunity he was offered. “Well, I told you that I went to my father. I explained to him who you are, and all you had accomplished. He is still quite fond of the bill, by the way. When I laid it all out in front of him, I told him that I thought you should be recognized for everything you have done for the planet and the people. He agreed. He granted you the title of lady. There are no lands that go with it since you are my ward, but there is supposed to be a ceremony this coming weekend to mark it. It was official the moment he signed the papers, though. Of course, Randy and Baxter were there to see, so they knew already, and all the guards assigned to you have been briefed.”

  Avila started pacing immediately. Galdren watched her in silence as she worked through how she would answer. He only hoped she saw the good that would come of the transition, and not just the difficulties.

  When she stopped pacing, she finally looked around for the first time. She then turned to him with raised brows. “This room is huge—and opulent. What am I going to do with this?”

  Galdren laughed. The te
nsion that he’d been feeling rushed out of him. At least now, he knew the worst of it was over. “The bedroom is almost as big, and you should see the bath. It’s handy being able to pull strings. You are in the family’s wing of the castle. My room is right next door, and there is an adjoining room between our rooms that can be accessed from either your room or mine. These suites were made this way for siblings, but since I never had any, this room has always remained empty.”

  He watched her shift uncomfortably, but it passed quickly and he didn’t have an opportunity to ask what was wrong as she said, “So, what all is in the family wing besides bedroom suites?”

  Galdren could tell something was bothering her, but she had been so mercurial that day that he didn’t want to push his luck. He could understand somewhat; the move couldn’t be easy on her, and in general, this whole situation had to be hard. “There are a couple of things you might be interested in, but before I get into them, there are a few ground rules we need to go over. Come sit down with me.”

  Galdren waved her over to a set of chairs circling a large fireplace. Off to the right of the whole thing was a large bay window with a window seat, and on the far right wall was a set of bare bookshelves. Several boxes were set in front of them.

  Before they made it to the chairs, there was a knock, and Lee led a group of men carrying boxes in. The movers had brought the last of Avila’s things. Galdren waited until they were gone again before he motioned to the chairs once more.

  Avila moved to take a seat. “So, you said something about ground rules? I feel like a teenager again.” She said the last with a chuckle.

  “Well, I hadn’t exactly thought about a curfew, but it would be best if you were back in your room before it got too late. The ground rules I am going to lay out are for your safety, so please don’t take them lightly.” He waited to make sure she was listening and understood the gravity of what he was saying. She gave him a small nod and waved her hand for him to continue.