Avila let go of Galdren’s arm and approached Zachariah and Nathan. She gave them both a polite bow before turning to the elder of the two. “Sir, I would like to apologize again for my behavior last night. I would also like to thank you for your assistance.”
The duke smiled as he shook his head. “Think nothing of it. Despite how it may have seemed, the result was less troublesome than you might think. I am glad to see you back to yourself. You look to be in good spirits, if your smile when you came in was anything to go by.”
Despite willing it not to happen, Avila felt her cheeks heat. Not that the man had mentioned anything untoward, but the thought of why she had been smiling had her fighting a grin again. When his gaze turned curious, she looked away. Thankfully, the king and queen had just entered, and everyone moved to take their seats. She was grateful for the forced change of subject. She paused when she caught sight of a shadow that passed over Nathan’s eyes, but he turned to take his seat before she could figure out how to approach him.
The rest of the dinner proceeded much like they always did. Zachariah confirmed that Benedict had stayed behind to take care of the estate while he was gone. Avila was also grateful that her misdeeds from the night before were only brought up in passing. They moved on as soon as they assured her things had been handled. Part of her wanted to know the outcome, but in the end, she was happier to let the subject drop and move on.
Her only problem for the rest of the evening was that she felt her face was going to break from smiling so much every time she caught Galdren looking at her. It wasn’t helped by the way his eyes seemed to glint with unsaid words each time, and his smile was fit to match hers.
By the time dinner was over and everyone had given their goodnights, Avila was glad for the reprieve. She felt like she was going to burst and was conflicted as to why. Part of it was that she wanted the world to know about her happiness, but the rest was because she knew that wasn’t a great idea. Not yet. She settled for giving the others smiles before she once again took Galdren’s arm.
Nathan was the last to leave, and the look he gave her as they walked out was the only thing to dim her happiness. It hadn’t been angry, only resigned. He turned before she could say anything, which caused a new pang to pass through her. She resolved that soon, she would track him down, and they would have it out. No matter what had happened, he was still her friend. She refused to give that up without a fight.
Despite her worries about Nathan, her focus was once again on Galdren by the time they were back to the rooms—especially as he followed her in. She gave him a curious look when he shut the door, but he ignored it in favor of pulling her into an embrace. She rested her head on his chest as he said, “Well, that was certainly an interesting endeavor.”
Avila chuckled as she pulled back enough to look up at him. “See, this is why I wanted to have a plan.”
Galdren looked away at her statement, but she could still see the corners of his lips turn up into a smile. When he didn’t say anything right away, she leaned back into him and continued, “Don’t worry that I feel slighted. I understand this is a precarious position for both of us. We’ll figure it out.”
He sighed before leaning back and tilting her chin up so he could see her eyes as he answered, “It isn’t that I am worried about their reactions. I only want to make sure that whatever comes out will not harm you.”
She squeezed his sides lightly before she stepped back. She kept her smile so he would know she wasn’t upset. “I know. I already said not to worry. You are the one that told me we will take it a day at a time, so that’s what I plan to do.” She looked away with a blush. “Besides, none of the people in that room are stupid. I doubt that any of them missed that something has changed. It wouldn’t surprise me if they already have it figured out by the time we say anything.”
The last of Galdren’s worry left his eyes as he chuckled at her remark. He then pulled her closer once more and cupped her cheek. “You are correct. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that myself.”
By that point, something had changed in his expression, and Avila felt a familiar warmth course through her. He didn’t say anything, but her heart clenched in anticipation when she saw his eyes flick down to her mouth. She didn’t wait for him to move before she lifted onto her toes and ended up meeting him halfway.
Her hands skimmed from his side to his chest, and she grabbed his shirt to steady herself as his kiss turned less than chaste. Instead of stopping him, she slid her hands up to his shoulders. No matter how many times he kissed her, it still took her breath away.
The warmth she had grown to enjoy was starting to turn into an insistent, unfamiliar heat as one of his hands tangled in her hair and the other pulled her even closer. His kiss strayed to the corner of her lips, and then her jaw. When she felt the scrape of his teeth lightly against her earlobe, she made a sound that was foreign to her. She had no idea what to make of the feeling coursing through her, but was too lost in her desire to be closer to him to try and focus past what he was doing.
She was on the brink of begging, though she wasn’t sure what for. The words were on the tip of her tongue when Galdren pulled back. She had to blink a few times before she could focus on his face. The look in his eyes sent a spike of desire running through her, but she forced herself to listen to him instead of pressing against him again.
His voice was more than a little strained as he said, “Avila, I believe it might be best if I leave now.”
Avila felt her longing instantly cool. He must have seen it in her eyes, as he pulled her closer. “Do not think it is because I do not want this. On the contrary, I’m afraid if I do not go now, I may step beyond a point that we are ready for.”
Avila knew she was innocent in many ways, but it didn’t take much for her to figure out what he meant. She was glad her face was buried in his chest as she responded, “I understand.” That was all she could muster for the moment. Thankfully, he didn’t try to move her.
After several moments he finally pushed back with another sigh, but he was smiling when he looked down at her again. “Don’t worry, I plan to be back in the morning.” He then kissed her forehead and stepped away. She could see the strain in his eyes as he added, “Good night.”
Despite her earlier worries, Avila had no doubt that the tension she could see was for the same reason she felt dissatisfied. That thought sent shock waves through her. She was wanted. It was a heady feeling and had her grinning back at him. “I hope your dreams are good ones.”
“As do I. At least, I doubt that they could possibly be bad.” Then his smirk had that warmth flooding back in, but he didn’t give her a chance to respond. Instead, he opened the door and gave her one last wink before closing it behind him.
Avila didn’t move for several seconds. When she finally did, she couldn’t stop smiling. Somehow, she doubted that her dreams would be bad that night, either.
39. Unexpected News
When Monday morning came, both Avila and Galdren were more than a little disappointed to have to attend to their respective tasks. At least they both knew the time apart would only be temporary. Avila was particularly pleased when Galdren returned an hour before they had to go to dinner. Not that it was any more time than they had been spending together before things changed, but she found new enjoyment in his company now that she no longer felt the need to police her thoughts.
Over the next several weeks, things between the two of them gradually grew more comfortable. Even meals became less tense. Not that they had mentioned anything to anyone else yet. Avila had even kept it from her parents and Lissa. That last was the hardest, as her friend was insatiably curious, but Avila knew the time wasn’t right yet. She would tell them before it came out publicly, but for now, she was content to simply share time with Galdren. Besides, he had agreed with Avila’s initial assessment. There was no way his parents didn’t know, but their confirma
tion of that fact could wait along with everyone else.
Many aspects of their relationship were growing each day, but one, in particular, was more difficult for them both to cope with. Avila was not shy by nature, but she was inexperienced in any kind of intimate relationship. She had never had time to explore the concept before. Now, there were many days that it showed. She did not push Galdren away, but she often felt overwhelmed. Thankfully, he seemed to always have that in mind, though some days were more challenging than others.
This day was the last in a long line of days that had found the two of them sitting on her couch after dinner. It started with a conversation as they unwound before bed, but it was not long before Avila found herself being pulled closer to Galdren. She had been teasing him and laughing at the look he was giving her, but it cut off as his arms circled her waist and was replaced by a breathless noise when she saw the look in his eyes as he spoke.
“Have I mentioned that I adore the way you don’t seem to care about my position? Not when it is just the two of us.” He paused and placed a soft kiss along her jaw. She leaned her head to the side without thought as he followed it with another on her neck. She shivered as his breath ghosted over her ear when he continued, “I cannot begin to explain how difficult it is for me to keep my hands to myself most days.”
Avila had a snarky remark on the tip of her tongue, but it was lost when his lips covered hers, and then her arms went around his neck as he pulled her into his lap. She quickly forgot what they had even been talking about.
In an effort to get as close to him as possible, Avila shifted so that she was straddling his legs. The groan that came from him as she pressed forward made a shaft of fire race through her. She reveled in the sound as she cupped his face and held him in place for a kiss like he so often did to her. The feeling of power and need was a potent combination.
Despite her position, or rather because of it, Avila nearly groaned in pleasure as well when Galdren pulled her flush against him. His lips found her pulse point before they drifted down to her collarbone. That, combined with the feel of him pressed against her, was enough to cause sensory overload. She leaned her head back as he pulled her shirt down a few inches and placed a hot kiss at the top of her cleavage.
In the next instant, Galdren had switched their positions. It took her addled mind a moment to understand how they had gone from her in his lap to her on her back with him hovering over her. However, she saw no need to think about it further as he pressed closer and claimed her lips once more.
Her arms had already gone around his shoulders, and her nails were tracing random patterns across his shoulder blades through the fabric of his shirt. She had no thoughts beyond what she was feeling—at least until she felt one of his hands under her shirt on her waist. It was such a foreign sensation that she immediately stilled.
As her mind started to clear, she realized this was farther than things had ever gone between them. She wasn’t displeased with that fact, but her stillness must have clued Galdren in to the fact that all was not well. He pulled back and braced himself on one arm so he could look down into her eyes. It was several seconds before either of them could breathe evenly. However, as soon as he was steady, Galdren pushed a stray strand of her hair back and gave her a wry smile as he said, “Perhaps it would be best if I left for tonight.”
Avila felt a sudden urge to stop him. She grabbed his shoulders as she said, “Don’t go. I give my word that I was not upset. It was only unexpected.”
Instead of moving to kiss her again, Galdren sat back and pulled her up with him. He held her close to his side but shook his head as he responded, “I don’t doubt you, but this is something that should not be rushed. Please forgive me for being so forward.”
Avila could tell that he had already made up his mind, and this was a lost cause, but that didn’t stop her from trying anyway. “I do not think you were forward.”
Before she could say more, he cut her off with a swift kiss. He smirked down at her frown when he pulled back. “I know, but this is important. I want it to be special for you when it finally happens.”
Avila felt her cheeks flush at his reminder, but she still wasn’t done. However, before she could speak again, he placed a soft finger over her lips. “Avila, we have a lifetime for this. Take your time, and have no fear that I will not wait.”
His words painted images in her mind of things she was both thrilled about and terrified of. Still, she could tell there was no budging him. When he dropped his hand, he gave her one more swift kiss and squeezed her fingers before he stood. “Sleep well.”
“You too.” That was all she could manage to get out before he turned and went back to his own rooms. Once he was gone, Avila flopped back onto her couch with a groan. She knew he wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t stop the frustration. She groaned again as she pushed herself to her feet. A long shower before bed was what she needed. She hoped by then that the worst of it would pass.
―
Nearly a week later, a distraction appeared. Avila and Professor Gilbert were finishing up for the day when a familiar guard followed Angelo into the room. They both bowed to Avila when her protector said, “Ma’am, the queen is here to see you. Are you available?”
Avila shared a shocked look with her teacher, but his only response was to start clearing his things. The queen wasn’t someone you turned away. Instead of saying more, she nodded to Angelo. “Of course. Surprise or not, I always enjoy her visits. Please don’t keep her waiting.”
Angelo saluted before he opened the door again, and the queen entered along with her other guard. As soon as she was in the room, Professor Gilbert bowed. “Ma’am, it is always an honor to see you, but I have finished here for the day. Unless you need my presence, I will excuse myself.”
Lorne smiled as she answered, “Frederick, please do not worry. I apologize if I have interrupted, but something urgent has come up that I need to discuss with your student.”
Professor Gilbert put the last of his papers away before he lowered his head once again. “Of course, ma’am. It is no inconvenience. The day was nearly over.” He picked up his things and gave Avila a nod before bowing once more. “I will leave the two of you to your visit. Good day.”
Avila watched him go with mixed feelings. Usually, she enjoyed the queen’s visits, but with the recent changes in her life, she was slightly apprehensive. Had the woman finally come to confront her about her relationship with Galdren? There was little else she could think of that might be considered urgent. At least the older woman was still smiling. She chose to take that as a good sign.
Once the professor was out the door, Lorne gestured to the sitting area. “I apologize again, but I wanted to speak with you before my son had a chance to find you.”
That statement did not soothe Avila’s fears, but she still joined the other woman when she sat. She couldn’t find her voice, so instead, she waited for the queen to continue. The older woman’s eyes turned somber when she spoke. “Avila, I understand why you might be apprehensive about why I am here. However, I have come to ask you this myself because I believe it is what is best.”
Had it been any other person talking, Avila would have been on her feet as soon as those words left their mouth, if for no other reason than her anxiety would not let her sit still. She somehow managed to fight the urge to fidget as she said, “What could I possibly be apprehensive about?”
She cursed the waver in her voice, but thankfully it didn’t seem as though the queen noticed. The woman chuckled before she answered, “My apologies, I am getting ahead of myself. We are hosting an ambassador from Talamh, and I felt it would be important for you to attend the welcoming ball.”
Those few words were all it took for Avila to forget her worry about her relationship. She couldn’t decide what part was more shocking—that the queen wanted her to attend another ball after the last fiasco, or that it would be for a
person from her home planet. Or perhaps not. The more she thought about it, the more she realized the ambassador was likely to be someone from the new government. She wasn’t sure why, but the thought left her feeling nauseous.
It was several seconds before she could school her thoughts enough to come up with a coherent answer. “Please do not think that I am ungrateful, but I must ask why you believe my attendance would be important? From what I have learned, anyone coming from there now would be one of the many reasons my people are refugees. Why I am a refugee. That doesn’t even consider my last mishap.”
Lorne surprised Avila when she sat forward and took her hand in a comforting grip. Her eyes held only concern when she answered, “I know it may not be comfortable, but that is precisely why you should be there. No matter what has happened, is that not still your world? Do you not want to know the hands that guide it now? Your memory may be gone, but surely you wish to know the fate of any of your people that remained.”
Avila paused at the earnestness coming from the queen. She still wanted to say no. There were so many reasons for her to avoid the scene altogether, but she could not. The older woman had a point. The thought of seeing anyone from the new Talamh government made her nausea stronger, but she could not deny that she needed to know.
Her dreams came to mind and reminded her why she did not wish for that knowledge, but she couldn’t force the idea out of her head. She finally nodded. “I do not want to go. Even though all I have is fragmented dreams as reminders of what might have been, the thought of facing that makes me sick. But I will. You are correct that I need to. If for no other reason than to learn to move on. Perhaps this is what I need to finally be rid of my nightmares.”
When she agreed, Lorne gave her a soft smile and patted her hands before she sat back. “I knew you would see the good in it.”
Shattered Dreams Page 37